Choisir un prénom (correction)

<< Retour au forum || Aller tout en bas

Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais
Tout ce qui a un rapport avec l'apprentissage de l'anglais: grammaire, orthographe, aides aux devoirs, phrases etc.

Ce sujet est fermé, vous ne pouvez pas poster de réponses

Choisir un prénom (correction)
Message de nownow posté le 01-11-2005 à 11:16:40 (S | E | F | I)
Bonjour,

Pourriez-vous vérifier ma rédaction d'anglais ?
Pour vous aidez le sujet était: If you had to choose a name for a child today, would you name him/her after: a character in a TV series, a character in a novel, a famous actor, a member of your family, the trend of the moment ? Explain your choice: why you would or wouldn't pick a name in these categories, why some people do, etc...

Voici ce que j'ai écrit :
If I had to choose a name for a child today, I would name him after the trend of the moment because the childhood is a very important period in the life. I don’t want people to laught at him because he has an old-fashion or a ridiculous name. I would like he [be] pleased and proud of his name, [have] a lot of friends and a beautiful life without discrimination and mockerys.
You can be discriminated if you have a foreign or a strange name, to get a job for example.
I would like give him a name which will be a part of me, his story and his life.
Your name is as your identity, it follow you wherever you go.
Some parents name their children after a member of their family and it’s often an old-fashion name but it could become again fashion a day. This names are parts of their family’s story. I’ll give to my child a couple of names because if he doesn’t like his name, he’ll be able to change it when he is older.

Je ne suis pas sûr des verbes entre crochets; il correspondent au subjonctif en français je les ai donc mis au subjonctif en anglais (seulement BV).
Merci par avance.

-------------------
Edité par bridg le 01-11-2005 11:17
+ titre

Réponse: Choisir un prénom (correction) de ruofei, postée le 01-11-2005 à 11:26:28 (S | E)
Bonjour nownow,

ta rédaction est très bonne je trouve:

If I had to choose a name for a child today, I would name him after the trend of the moment because the childhood is a very important period/stage in ~~the~~ life. I don’t want people to laught at him because he has an old-fashioned or a ridiculous name. I would like ~~he [be]~~ him to be pleased and proud of his name, [have] to have a lot of friends and a beautiful life without discrimination and mockeries.
You can be discriminated against if you have a foreign or a strange name, (to get a job for example) (for a job interview for example.
I would like to give him a name which will be a part of me, his story and his life (c'est-à-dire?).
Your name is as your identity, it follows you wherever you go.
Some parents name their children after a member of their family and it’s often/they often pick out an old-fashioned name but it could become ~~again~~ fashion(able) again, someday. These names are parts of their family’s story. I’ll give to my child a couple of names (because) so that if he doesn’t like his name, he’ll be able to change it when he is older.

Bonne journée.

Réponse: Choisir un prénom (correction) de nownow, postée le 01-11-2005 à 13:05:19 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup, désolé je ne m'attendais pas à ce que vous répondiez si vite. Corrigé et modifié cela donne donc:

If I had to choose a name for a child today, I would have different ideas ;
I would name him after the trend of the moment because the childhood is a very important stage in life. I don’t want people to laugh at him because he has an old-fashioned or ridiculous name. I would like him to be pleased and proud of his name, to have a lot of friends and a beautiful life without discrimination and mockeries.You can be discriminated against if you have a foreign or a strange name, for a job interview for example.
I would like also to give him a name which will be a part of me and my life. Your name is as your identity, it follows you wherever you go. I’ll give to my child a couple of names so that if he doesn’t like his name, he’ll be able to change it when he is older.
Some parents name their children after a member of their family because these names are part of loved persons and their family’s story. They often pick-out an old-fashioned name and I think it’s not a good thing for children, but it could become again fashionable someday.
I think I’ll never name my child after a character in a TV series or in a novel because it means you choose a name for your child, without muse, just because you like one of these characters !

Merci par avance.

Réponse: Choisir un prénom (correction) de jardin62, postée le 01-11-2005 à 17:34:58 (S | E)
Hello.

De petites choses ...

- ...because ~~the~~ childhood
- I don't want people to laugh at him because of an old-fashioned or ridiculous name
- Construction différentes : to be pleased + with / to be proud + of => on ne peut pas les relier
* I would like him to be be pleased with his name and even proud of it.
- Suggestion : à la place de 'beautiful' + life : pourquoi ne pas mettre 'happy' ?
- Pour souligner l'éventualité et varier le style : ' A foreign or an unusual name could be a cause of discrimination, couldn't it ?'
- Construction : I would also like ...( place de l'adverbe)
- Ce que vous essayez de dire à propos de ' une partie de moi et de ma vie' demanderait à être éclairci, ce n'est pas facile, parce qu'on se demande ce que vous souhaitez dire exactement...
* I would also like his name to be a link between me, my life and his.
* Your name is ~~like~~ your identity
* beloved persons
* It may become fashionable again ( may = éventualité) / place de 'again'
* after a character from
* Vocabulaire : 'muse' / méditer, rêvasser, ruminer une idée...
=> ...it means you you have chosen a name for your child without having first thought/ without careful thought

Réponse: Choisir un prénom (correction) de nownow, postée le 02-11-2005 à 10:25:41 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup pour votre aide ruofei et jardin62 !
nownow.

Ce sujet est fermé, vous ne pouvez pas poster de réponse.