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Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais
Tout ce qui a un rapport avec l'apprentissage de l'anglais: grammaire, orthographe, aides aux devoirs, phrases etc.

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Vérifier mes résumés.
Message de greeneden posté le 06-06-2005 à 16:02:07 (S | E | F | I)

Bonjour à tous et à toutes,
Je dois faire 6 résumés. Pour mon examen oral.
Je suis en train de les finir et j'aimerais si possible que vous regardiez
si la grammaire est bonne. Pour le choix des mots
je suis bon car le prof les a employés.
Je poste aujourd'hui deux textes, et dans le courant de la semaine
je posterais les autres.Désolé Désolé pour
le nombre de fautes ( car a mon avis vas
il va y en avoir des tonnes) mais je suis nul en anglais
et je commence seulement à faire tout pour que ca çà s'arrange.

Encore Merci de votre aide.

1er texte:

This article deals with cybercrime
It is about Randy Baber
Randy Baber is a 28 years old girl and she is single.
On her answerer machine, she receives obscene frightening calls
from a sex maniac.She is scarred.
One day, a stranger knocks at the doors of her apartment.
And he says "you could get rapped" because she as posted sexy ads
on the internet.But Randy has no computer. It is strange.
She is understand that she is a victim of o nightmarish criminal plot.
She is a victim of a cyberstalker.
Some one has a assume identity on the internet and she is looking for man
to fool fell absence sexual desire.
Randy is traumatised, she is scarred and she is depressed.
She goes to the Police but the Police refuse to help her.
The first investigators are Randy, and her father helped by some stalker.
The mouse became the cat.
They find clues; they go to the police with the clues.
The police investigate and find a cyberstalker.
Gary delapenta, he is a twice divorce and he makes advance at Randy.
But Randy is rebuff him and he takes revenge in the internet.


2eme texte :

Harlem is a part of New-York, where Afro American lives.
Harlem is founded in 1658 by Dutch Settler. Harlem is the name of the
city of Nederland.
Now, the Dush are back, they are all so and German, France, people
from the world.On Sundays, the most popular tourist attraction is a Mount
Moriah in middle black Harlem.
A majority of with people attend the service are outsiders.
They come for the show, for a black choir.
The black parishioner and black pastor have a mixed felling.
There are inconveniences; there are large group of tourist come unannounced.
They leave before the sermon, before the collection.
There are not dressed properly, they are disrespectful.
They take pictures and they film though it is prohibited.
But there are advantages.
The church become a businesses, they make a lot of money for pay a soup kitchen,
an after-school programme and clothing for the poor.
The tourist leaves a church with a warm felling.

Encore merci

-------------------
Edité par joy813/bridg le 06-06-2005 16:05
mise en page + changement de forum+ correction titre
Pourrez vous pour les prochains n'en poster qu'un à la fois ? . Merci



Réponse: Vérifier mes résumés. de jardin62, postée le 07-06-2005 à 03:53:10 (S | E)
Bonjour;
*Certains passages me paraissant un peu obscurs je vais faire ce que je peux.

1er texte=>
j'ai un peu modifié certaines constructions
.

Randy Baber, a 28 [year-old single woman] (nom composé),
receives obscene frightening calls from a sex maniac, on her answering machine.
She feels really scared.
One day, someone knocks at her door and tells her that because of her sexy ads'
on the Internet she could be raped!What is strange is that Randy hasn't got
a computer!She understands that she is the victim of a nightmarish criminal
plot. She must be the victim of a cyberstalker...
Someone on the Internet certainly has a similar identity
[passage que je ne comprends pas : qui est 'she'?]
Randy is so
traumatized that she is close to a nervous breakdown.
She goes to the police but they refuse to help her.
Randy and her father decide [?] to investigate with
the help of some stalker...
'The mouse has become the cat'.
They manage to collect clues which they bring to the police.
The police investigate and discover a cyberstalker called Gary Delapenta.
The man has divorced twice: he has made advance to Randy but the young woman
has rebuffed him, so he has taken revenge through the Internet.


2ème texte:

Harlem is a part of New York where Afro-American people live.
Harlem was founded in 1658 by Dutch settlers. Its name derives from a city of
the Netherlands. People from over the world live there: Dutch people as well as
German people and French people.
On Sundays the most popular touristic attraction is Mount Moriah which is situated
in the centre of black Harlem.
White people come to the service. The majority of
White people who attend the service at church are outsiders.
They come there to enjoy the show. They listen to the black choir.
The black parishioners as well as their pastor have mixed feelings about that:
There are inconveniences : large groups of tourists come unannounced.
- They leave before the sermon.
- They leave before the collection.
- They are not dressed properly.
- They even are disrespectful!
- They take pictures and even film although it's prohibited!

But there are advantages:
- The church feels the benefits of it : it's a business!
- They will make good use of it: it will pay for a 'soup kitchen' for example
or an after-school programme. The money will make it possible to buy clothes
for the Poor of the parish...
- The tourists leave the church with a warm feeling : perhaps they have been
happy to share a moment of happiness and joy... [c'est moi
qui me permets de rajouter, n'hésitez pas à supprimer.]

-------------------
Edité par jardin62 le 07-06-2005 05:14




Réponse: Vérifier mes résumés. de greeneden, postée le 07-06-2005 à 10:37:04 (S | E)



-------------------
Edité par emy64 le 07-06-2005 13:30
bug de la page


Réponse: Vérifier mes résumés. de jardin62, postée le 07-06-2005 à 12:38:42 (S | E)
Bonjour : le 3ème résumé étant constitué en grande partie de termes techniques, je ne m'aventurerai pas sur ce terrain que je laisse à des spécialistes chevronnés.


Réponse: Nouveau résumé de greeneden, postée le 07-06-2005 à 16:25:40 (S | E)
Bonjour voici le 4eme texte, il parle du meme sujet que le 2eme.

Encore un tout grand merçi.
les expression et le choix des mots sont correcte car le prof les a sité.
j'ai juste en gros du faire la conjugaison et la grammaire.


Bon courage
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This article deals with The Mount Moriah a Baptist church in Harlem.
On Sundays, this church is jammed to the doors.
80% (eighty percentages) of the people in the church are tourist.
They are come by bus from New-York.
They come from Brazil, Germany, France, Italy and all over the world.
Only 20% (twenty percent) of the people of this church are black parishioners.
The black parishioners go to the church to pray for a service.
There are inconveniences and there are advantages with the tourists
We begin with inconvenience.
The tourists don't be have properly. They are disrespectful.
The black people are dressed up but the tourists are dressed down.
They wear t-shirt, sneakers.
They film with camcorder, they take pictures.
The service becomes the show and the church becomes a big businesses.
The singers of choirs are posing. They are not spontaneous.
The conclusion is that Jesus sent the money make away from temple, so, the tourist should be away
The advantage is that a tourist are blessing because the singers are world famous.
They sell cds. They organize a concert tour. They make money.
With this money they pay a soup kitchen, an after-school programme and clothing for the poor.
In a church there is a warm atmosphere.
And if the tourists are excluding, would be the segregation



Réponse: Vérifier mes résumés. de jardin62, postée le 07-06-2005 à 21:20:45 (S | E)
Bonsoir.

This article deals with Mount Moriah a Baptist church in Harlem.
On Sundays the church is jammed to the doors.
Eighty per cent (80 %) of the 'visitors' are tourists which means that only 20% are black people.
Buses crowded with tourists come from New York. People come from Brazil, Germany, France, Italy...In fact they come from all over the world!


What are the inconveniences of the huge number of tourists?
We have to remember that black people go to church because they believe in God, and that they want to pray.

What about the tourists?
- They don't behave properly.
- They are disrespectful.
- They are dressed down meanwhile black people are dressed up. They wear T.shirts, sneakers.
- They film with camrecorders, they take pictures.
- The religious service turns into a show and the church becomes a big business, a kind of supermarket.
- The singers of the choirs pose, they no longer are spontaneous.

What is my opinion?
In the Bible, Jesus sent the merchants away from the Temple, I think the tourists should be asked to leave.

Let's examine the advantages now:
- Tourism is a blessing because very often the singers are world famous : CDs are sold, concert tours are organized, money is made, a lot of money!
- Thanks to that money they will be able to pay for a 'soup kitchen', an after-school programme. Clothes will be bought for the poor.
- In the church there's a warm atmosphere.
- Besides, if the tourists were excluded there would be segregation.




Réponse: Vérifier mes résumés. de greeneden, postée le 09-06-2005 à 11:03:51 (S | E)
Voici le 4eme texte
Je me demandais cava si je met pouvais mettre au present tout tous les résumés au présent ?
Merci

----------------------------------------------------------------
The broadcast deals with secret cameras.
Some secret cameras are security cameras to protect people.
But in Taipei, the capitals of Taiwan, there are secret cameras to be spying people.
There are Peek-a-boo cameras, there are pinhole cameras.
The users are voyeurs, perverts and blackmailer.
The victims are tourists, friends and co-workers.
They film in a metro, restaurant, toilet and other intimate places.
Sometimes the photos are posted on the Internet.
The people are paranoid, hysterical except MR Lee.
He makes a lot of money. He sells cameras to the police and the offenders.
He plays both sides of the fence.
The police sweep a public place.
He warns on TV.
The problem begins in Taipei but now the problem extends whole country.


-------------------
Edité par joy813 le 09-06-2005 11:11



Réponse: Vérifier mes résumés. de bloose926, postée le 09-06-2005 à 16:35:56 (S | E)
:i say hello ! first.
before begining, i beg you pardon ,because i dont now so-mucth english.
i inform you that ,i begin to study.
my intervation about that title ,is only to say that :She c'est elle:en français.
about another defense i beg you the time .
in my capacity i will reply you after.


Réponse: Vérifier mes résumés. de jardin62, postée le 10-06-2005 à 10:32:22 (S | E)
Bonjour.
4ème résumé:

(Il commence mal: je ne comprends pas la présence du mot 'broadcast':
Si c'est le verbe => diffuser, émettre un programme
Si c'est le nom => émission, programme radiodiffusé ou télévisé)
...
...Secret cameras could be called 'security cameras': as a rule they guarantee the protection of people.

It is said that in Taipei, the capital of Taiwan, secret cameras are used as 'spies'. You can find 'Peek-a-boo' cameras or pinhole cameras.
Those who use those cameras are either voyeurs or perverts or blackmailers.
The victims are tourists ...?....? => (sens?)
They film in the metro /the underground/, in restaurants, even in toilets and other intimate places.
Sometimes the photos are published on the Internet.
The people who do that are certainly paranoid or hysterical people!
All...except one!
Who? Mr Lee!
Why? Because of the money he makes from this dirty business.
How? It's very easy: he sells the cameras to the police as well as... to the offenders!
We call this 'playing both side of the fence'!...
The police only have to 'sweep' public places.
Mr Lee warns (qui?) thanks to television.
All started at Taipei but the problem is now extending to the whole country.






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