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Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais
Tout ce qui a un rapport avec l'apprentissage de l'anglais: grammaire, orthographe, aides aux devoirs, phrases etc.

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correction de fautes
Message de prunette posté le 22-10-2005 à 17:03:50 (S | E | F | I)

Bonjour voici un essay, pouvez vous me corriger les fautes s'il vous plait quand vous aurez le temps bien sûr.
merci d'avance
je vous remercie

How important is dreaming in your life ?

First, I would like to say that a dream is marvellous because it is a more or less ideal representation or a pipe dream that we will want to realize and that we crave something.
How important is dreaming in your life?


The whole world have a lot of dream. There are many types of dream.
I’ll mention survey, work, wedding, children, family and many others.
My personal point of view:
I am seventeen years old ans it is my last year in my high school.
Firstly my dream when I was a child was to become a teacher in a primary school, I wanted to look after children. However, nowaday I have lost because I wanted to go in faculty of psychology but it’s not advisable. Then during the holidays I thought to do a speech therapist or a nurse or a teacher in a primary school. But actually I think to do a faculty of law because it’s the better faculty because it opens at a lot of profession.
Besides I am attracted by the law. It will be most probably my great dream if I will go but I am not sure because my first dream of profession will evaporate.
I have lost.
What does the future hold for me?
Actually, my dream is to have my secondary school examination qualifying for entry to university. I am afraid because maybe I won’t have it. Therefore I will be very disappointed and very unhappy in the despair. My motivation is very strong, I want to have it!
Secondly, in the future I would to marry with my darling and to start a family. It’s one of my dream the most beloved so that I feel fullfilled. Besides, I dreamt to give birth to somebody but also to adopt a child. If I could I will help the whole world, poor in difficulties. For example I pity the child who don’t have the chance to live the life that every being merit.
I ‘m convinced that I will in a ONG for help people in need.
I am well aware that it not evident and easy nevertheless I will go! I will fulfill my dream.
For my part a
life without dream is imposible or it not a life. From my point of view it will a unbearable
to take to despair. We must have a goal in life. It’s a very good motivation in order to succeed in life.
I would like to point out that dream enable somebody to escape from daily life; we can wander in our dream. For example, I think to make a parachute jump of plane. It’s a mad dream, very far from that maybe I will be. However it not a aim in life, but a madness.
We do all crazy things which add spice to life.


As a conclusion I would like to say that dream is very important in my life. It allows us to escape from daily life, to fulfill one’s ambitions; to enable us to do crazy things when we daydream. Besides we can realize some insane things.
I can’t help thinking it plays a major role in life.
To end, I wish to say that dream allow us to give a aim in life, to make plans which we give the desire to success in life.



Réponse: correction de fautes de fannaille, postée le 22-10-2005 à 19:27:11 (S | E)
Bonjour,

Je vais essayer.

Je vous propose :
At first I think that dreaming is marvellous because it is more or less an ideal representation of what we intend to realise.
How important is dreaming in your life?

Attention will want ne se dit pas, à la place on peut mettre "intend to".
Dans ce paragraphe je n'ai pas compris tout ce que vous vouliez exprimer (pipe dream ou encore crave something)
How important is dreaming in your life?


Everybody dreams a lot and there are many things we can dream of, for example our studies (je pense que c'est ce que vous voulez dire avec survey : survey est utilisé par exemple lorsqu'on parle d'une étude de site "site survey", avant d'y implanter des antennes GSM par exemple), a nice wedding, having children, and so on...
To begin with, when I was a child, my dream was to become a teacher in a primary school, because I wanted to look after children. But now I changed my mind. At first I thought about going to university to learn psychology but this was not what I was advised to do. Then during the holidays I thought about becoming a speech therapist, or a nurse but finally I dropped this idea. Now I think about going to the university to learn laws, because it offers good job opportunities.
(Attention je pense que vous vous éloignez du sujet, à vous de voir)
Besides I am really interested in Laws, but (et là je vous perds, quel est votre rêve? étudier le droit à la fac ou peut-être devenir avocat, juriste? faites rêver votre professeur dans votre copie).
I am lost (je suis perdue, attention I have lost : j'ai perdu)
What will be my future?
Actually, I dream of succeeding my exams, because it will enable me go to the university. I am afraid to fail and if I fail I will be very disappointed and very unhappy.
As I am really motivated, I will succeed!

Then I would like to marry my boyfriend and bring up a family. It's one of my best dream, and I would like it to come true.
Besides I would like to give birth to a child and also to adopt one. And if I can I will help the whole world (le monde entier? ou tout le monde?), the poors in difficulty. Children who don't have the chance to live a life that every human being deserve really move me (m'émeuvent).
I am convinced I will be an ONG (cherchez l'abbréviation en anglais), to help people in need.
I do know this is not an easy thing to do but I'll do it.

For my part, I think that living without dream is not a life. Having goals in life helps a lot and this is a key element in our successes.
Dreaming helps people to extract themselves from their routine, dreaming enables us to wander a little. For example I plan to do a parachute jump, it's a little bit crazy and people may say it is a mad dream. The crazy things we do add spice in our lifes.

As a conclusion I would say that dreaming is very important in my life. It enables us to escape from our routine, it enables us to fulfill our ambitions. Besides it helps us to do crazy things. I can't help thinking that dreaming plays an important part in life.
To finish, I would say that dreaming enables us to have aims, to plan things, and to give us the desire to succeed.


Voilà. C'était long. Par contre je pense que parfois vous dérapez un peu. Est-ce que vous avez fait un plan détaillé avant de vous lancer?

Bon courage







Réponse: correction de fautes de prunette, postée le 25-10-2005 à 10:50:34 (S | E)
je vous remercie.




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