A corriger/jeune fille au pair

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A corriger/jeune fille au pair
Message de elodie67 posté le 25-07-2006 à 11:38:07 (S | E | F | I)
Bonjour,
Afin d'améliorer mon anglais je souhaite partir comme jeune fille au pair. J'ai écrit une lettre que je compte envoyer à plusieurs familles.
Serait-il possible que vous me la corrigiez?
Voici ma lettre :

Hello,

My name is Elodie and I am 21 years old. I have just finished my commerce studies and I wish today to go in England or USA to improve my English.

I wish to be an au pair to allows me to improve my English all while doing something that I love : to take me care of children.

My mother is nurse thus all my life I was surrounded by children so I take care of children very well.

I like the nature, pets, the walks to bicycle, swimming, … I like equally to cook desserts for the children, I do them to participate in the preparation of the cakes for that they be to trust to eat a cake that they were done themselves!

I have my driving licence since 3 years. I don’t smoke. I am responsible, active and mature I want therefore always to the well being of the children so that they be happy and in security.

I look forward to meeting you.

Cela m'aiderait vraiment!!
Merci beaucoup,
Elodie
-------------------
Modifié par bridg le 25-07-2006 11:38
titre

Réponse: A corriger/jeune fille au pair de nick27, postée le 25-07-2006 à 11:58:10 (S | E)
Hello,

I corrected a few things

Hello,
My name is Elodie and I am 21 years old. I have just finished my commerce studies and now I would like to go to England or to the USA in order to improve my English.
I would like to be an au pair to take the liberty of improving my English while I will be doing something I love : looking after children.
My mother is a nurse so all my life I have been surrounded by children. That's why I can look after them very well.
I like the nature, pets, going for a bikeride, swimming, … I like to make/cook desserts for children as well, I would make them participate in the preparation of the cakes so that they would have more confidence in themselves and they wouldn't be scared of eating a cake as they would have made it themselves.
I got my driving licence 3 years ago. I don’t smoke. I am responsible, active and mature. So I will always want children to feel good, happy and in security.
I am looking forward to getting in touch with you.

See you and good luck

Réponse: A corriger/jeune fille au pair de mp27, postée le 25-07-2006 à 13:08:11 (S | E)
Hello élodie67!

--I wish today ---> and now, I wish to....
--to go in ......---> to go to England or to USA.......
--to allows me ---> in order to..
--to take me care of children ---> to look after children.
--my mother is nurse ---> my mother is a nurse.
--I like the nature ---> I like nature
--the walks to bicycle ---> cycling
--I like equally ---> I also like – ou: “I enjoy” serait bien ici
--to cook desserts for the children ---> (I enjoy) baking cakes for children
--I do them to participate in... --->pas correct, mais l'expression correcte: “I make them participate” fait assez autoritaire! Je pencherais pour: I suggest them to join in , ou, I like asking them to join in../
--for that they be ---> so that they ...(+ verbe au présent)
--I have my driving licence since 3 years ---> I got my driving licence 3 years ago
--I am responsible, active, mature ---> I am a lively, responsible and mature person.
--happy and in security ---> happy and safe.

Il y a des phrases qui pourraient être exprimées plus légèrement, ou plus clairement, et plus correctement,

1) (in order) to improve my English, all while doing something that I love: to take me care of children--->
in order to improve my English , and, at the same time, to do something I love: looking after children.

2) Quand tu dis: my mother is a nurse, pour moi, cela évoque tout de suite l'image de l'infirmière dans un hôpital, et pas forcément une personne travaillant chez elle avec des enfants. Donc, je vais suggérer de remplacer par la phrase suivante:
At home, I have always had children around me, because of my mother's job.

3) I like nature and pets .. Ici, tu pourrais dire: I love nature and pets
et tu pourrais continuer en disant: ... and I like cycling and swimming. I also enjoy baking cakes for children. I like asking them to join in so that they are happy to eat the cake at the end, and proud of their achievement!

4) Pour ta description: je mettrais un point après: I am a lively, responsible and mature person. Et ensuite, la dernière phrase (qui sonnera admirablement bien aux oreilles des parents): I would always give priority to the well-being of your children, so that they always feel happy and safe.

Points importants à ajouter:
a) Si j'étais à ta place, j'ajouterais ici: I hope that living with a friendly family and looking after their children as well as possible, will make you happy and will help me improve my spoken English (ou - my knowledge of English).

b)Indispensable de leur faire savoir:
I am free as from ... (par exemple September 2006, until Easter 2007 -or- until the beginning of summer 2007...). Ne propose pas 3 mois seulement, car les mères de famille ne seront pas intéressées. Une année, c'est bien mieux pour la famille -- et pour toi aussi.

c)Ensuite, une question dont la réponse sera importante pour toi:
If you are interested in having me as an Au Pair, could you please let me know all the necessary details?

FINALE:
Tu ne peux pas encore mettre en finale: I look forward to meeting you, car tu ne sais pas s'ils t'accepteront ou pas, donc, tu mets:
I look forward to hearing from you.

Regards,

Your signature
et bien entendu, indique:
Postal address --->
e-mail address (si tu as) --->
Phone number --->
References from 2 people who know me well:Madame... et Madame ... (I have enclosed the references)

-------------------
Modifié par willy le 25-07-2006 18:22
A la place de "nurse", n'est-ce pas plutôt "childminder" qu'il faudrait inscrire si la profession de la mère était demandée ?

Réponse: A corriger/jeune fille au pair de nick27, postée le 25-07-2006 à 13:30:14 (S | E)
Hello Mp27,

There's something weird in a sentence you wrote. I guess it's a "typing-mistake"

You wrote "I hope that living with a friendly family and looking after their children as well as possible, will make you happy and will help me improving my spoken French (ou - my knowledge of French)."

I think it should be "English" ? ... "And will help me improve my spoken English ... "

See you

Réponse: A corriger/jeune fille au pair de nick27, postée le 25-07-2006 à 13:33:22 (S | E)
Ah, ok. You've just changed it

Réponse: A corriger/jeune fille au pair de mp27, postée le 25-07-2006 à 14:02:32 (S | E)
Hello nick27!
No, it wasn't a misprint, but more of a... how to put it?
It was an unconscious mistake! My mind must have sort of "slipped".... The funniest thing about it... is that I must have "unconsciously" corrected it too, as I can hardly remember having done the correction! Oh dear! It certainly shows the importance of proofreading.
Have a great day!

Réponse: A corriger/jeune fille au pair de nick27, postée le 25-07-2006 à 14:34:23 (S | E)
Ok. I understand what you mean . Never mind ! That happens to me all the time ... I start writing something but my mind is already thinking about the end of the sentence so I write things unconsciously .

Thanks Mp27 and have a great day, too !

-------------------
Modifié par willy le 25-07-2006 15:54

Réponse: Corriger une lettre de elodie67, postée le 26-07-2006 à 22:48:31 (S | E)
Bonjour,

Je m'appelle Elodie. Hier j'ai laissé un message sur un forum pour que l'on me corrige les fautes dans une lettre que je souhaitais envoyer à des familles car je souhaite partir comme jeune fille au pair. Plusieurs familles m'ont déjà répondu, dont une qui me plait beaucoup. J'ai écris une 2ème lettre pour leur répondre. Est-ce qu'il serait possible que vous me la corrigiez? Voici la lettre :

Hello,

I am really happy that my profile corresponds that you search. I had several offers of others families but it is you that I prefer. I immediately found your children adorable.

I always look after children (from 0 to 10 years). You will just explain me their small practices and I will make so that all occurs for best and that they are happy.

I am a simple girl who likes nature and manual work. I had a boy friend more than 2 years ago. We hope to be able from time to time to see us during my stay in England. I will like to know if that disturbs you if once per month I return at home the weekend to see it and if it from time to time comes to see me?

I am available as from September. The ideal for me would be to come about September 15, 2006. But if an other date is better appropriate to you known as it me.

I understand the English rather well but I have evil for the speech I hope that you could be patient with me at the first times.

If you are interested in having me as an Au Pair, could you please let me know all the necessary details? And if you wish more information on my subject do not hesitate to contact me.

Regards,

Elodie

Je remercie également tous ceux qui m'ont aidé pour la première lettre.
Je vous remercie de votre aide!!
Elodie

Réponse: A corriger/jeune fille au pair de nick27, postée le 26-07-2006 à 23:05:13 (S | E)
Hello,

Here's my correction . However, I suggest you to wait for mp27's correction. She gives more details

Hello,

I am really happy that my profil corresponds to your searching. I got several offers of others families but yours interests me a lot.. I immediately found that your children were lovely.

I'm used to looking after children between 0 and 10 years. So you will just have to explain me their habits and I will try to make my best to make them happy.

I am a simple girl who likes nature and manual work. I have had a boyfriend for more than 2 years. We hope to be able to see each other sometimes during my stay in England. I would like to know if it would disturb you if one time a month I get back home during the weekends to see him and if he could come to see me in England.

I am available from September. I would be glad if I could arrive in England around September 15, 2006. But if you want me to arrive sooner or later, there isn't any problem.

I can understand English rather well but I'm not good at speaking it. So I hope that you will be patient with me at the start.

If you are interested in having me as an au pair, could you please let me know all the necessary details? And if you wish to get more information about me do not hesitate to contact me.

Regards,

Elodie

See you

Réponse: A corriger/jeune fille au pair de mp27, postée le 27-07-2006 à 09:13:35 (S | E)
Hello again!

--corresponds that you search---> corresponds to what you are looking for.
--I had several offers of others families ---> I've had several offers from other families,
--but it is you that I prefer---> but I prefer yours.
--I always look after children(from 0 to 10 years)-> I am used to looking after babies, toddlers and young children up to the age of 10.
--You will just explain me---> You'll just have to tell me
--their small practices---> about their habits.
--I will make so that all occurs for best--->I'll do my very best to make sure everything goes well,
--and that they are happy--->and your children are happy.
--a simple girl---> an easy going girl
A mon avis:
le problème, ce n'est pas le boy friend, mais tes escapades mensuelles en France! Où habite cette famille? Je crois que Ryanair a abandonné l'aéroport de Strasbourg en 2003.... Enfin, il y a toujours Strasbourg-Lille en train je suppose? et puis l'Eurostar de Lille à Londres-Waterloo.... et puis probablement un changement de gare..... et puis, est-ce que le reste du trajet sera direct? Tout cela, dans les deux sens, et à coincer pendant un weekend. Pas mal si la famille habitait à Ashford, dans le Kent (l'eurostar s'y arrête). D'un autre côté, je suppose que la famille n'aurait pas d'objection à ce que tu reçoives de temps en temps la visite de ton copain... Conclusion: je trouve que le maximum à dire serait:
I have a boy friend. I have known him for more than 2 years. I hope we'll be able to see each other from time to time.

--I am available as from .September. The ideal for me would be to come about September 15, 2006 --->(plus concis):I am available as from September and I could arrive around the 15th.
--But if an other date is better appropriate to you known as it me.--> In case the date doesn't suit you, I'm sure we could come to some agreement.
--I understand the English --> I understand English
--but I have evil for the speech--> but my spoken English gives me some trouble and needs a lot of improvement!
Je laisserais tomber la fin de la phrase (...patience at the beginning....) mais par contre, j'ajouterais un point utile pour toi:--->
By the way, could you please let me know if there would be any possibility to join some English classes for foreigners in your area?
--more information on my subject ---> more information (au lieu de: “on my subject”, mieux vaudrait dire: “about myself” - mais, ici, just “more information” suffit)
----------------------------
Certes, on n'est jamais trop prudent. Je viens de lire ton mp et j'y répondrai.

Réponse: A corriger/jeune fille au pair de elodie67, postée le 27-07-2006 à 21:10:59 (S | E)
Voila ou en est ma recherche. J'ai mis la 1ère lettre sur un site et les familles m'envoient un mail lorsqu'elles sont intéressées par mon profil. Plusieurs familles m'ont déjà contacté. J'ai envoyé la 2ème lettre à une famille qui m'intéresse plus particulièrement. Maintenant j'aimerai envoyer une autre lettre à d'autres familles qui m'ont contacté et qui m'intéresseraient également ou cas ou ça n'aboutirai pas avec la première.

Voici cette lettre :

Hello,

My name is Elodie and I am 21 years old.

I am really happy that my profile corresponds to what you are looking fun!

I am used to looking after babies, toddlers and young children up to the age of 10. So you’ll just have to tell me about their habits and I’ll do my very best to make sure everything goes well.

I’ve had several offers from other families but your interest me more. In order to know you more I have a few questions to ask you. In which town do you live? What are your jobs? Do you live in an house or in a flat? Have you pets?

If you choose me like you’re an Pair would I have my own room? How many hours a week would you need me to work? Which amount would you grant me?

I understand English but my spoken English gives some trouble and needs a lot of improvement. By the way, could you please let me know if there would be any possibility to join some English classes for foreigners in your area?

I’ll do much effort in order to this experiment would be for you and me very enriching.

I am available as from September and I could arrive around the 15th. In case the date doesn’t suit you, I’m sure we could come to some agreement.

If you want more information contact me!!

Elodie

Pouvez-vous me la corriger? Je vous remercie 1000 fois? Si je peux faire quelque chose pour vous (bien que je ne pense pas ) n'hésitez pas à me le demander!!

Elodie

Réponse: A corriger/jeune fille au pair de nick27, postée le 27-07-2006 à 21:31:47 (S | E)
Hello Elodie !

You're welcome

Hello,

My name is Elodie and I am 21 years old.

I am really happy that my profile corresponds to what you are looking for.

I am used to looking after babies, toddlers and young children up to the age of 10. So you’ll just have to tell me about their habits and I’ll do my very best to make sure everything goes well.

I’ve got several offers from other families but yours interests me a lot. I have a few questions to ask you in order to get to know you a little bit more. What town do you live in? What are your jobs? Do you live in a house or in a flat? Do you have pets?

If you want to have me as an pair will I have my own room? How many hours a week would you like me to work? And will I get a good salary?

I understand English but my spoken English gives some troubles and needs a lot of improvement. By the way, could you please let me know if there would be any possibility to join some English classes for foreigners in your area?

I’ll make my best to make this experience very rewarding for you and me.

I am available as from September and I could arrive around the 15th. In case the date doesn’t suit you, I’m sure we could come to an agreement.

If you want to get more information feel free to contact me.

Thank you

Elodie

See you

Réponse: A corriger/jeune fille au pair de elodie67, postée le 28-07-2006 à 11:43:25 (S | E)
Bonjour,

Voici une lettre que je souhaite écrire à une famille qui me plait beaucoup :

Hello,

I don’t know if you received my message. So I write you again.

I am really happy that my profile corresponds to your searching. I got several offers of others families but yours interests me a lot.. I immediately found that your children were lovely.

I am used to looking after babies, toddlers and young children up to the age of 10. So you’ll just have to tell me about their habits and I’ll do my very best to make sure everything goes well.

I have a few questions to ask you in order to get to know you a little bit more. What town do you live in? What are your jobs? Do you have photographs of you, your home, children…?

I am a simple girl who likes nature and manual work. My mother is a stay at home mum, she looks after children : Baptist (3 years) Maylis (2 years) and Aloys (1year). My father is a policeman. I have 2 brothers Nicolas (26 years) who is a businessman and Damien (30 years) who is a fireman. I live in a house 20 km from STRASBOURG.
I have a boy friend. I have known him for more than 2 years. I hope we'll be able to see each other from time to time.

I understand English but my spoken English gives me some trouble and needs a lot of improvement! By the way, could you please let me know if there would be any possibility to join some English classes for foreigners in your area?

I’ll make my best to make this experience very rewarding for you and me.

I am available as from September and I could arrive around the 15th. In case the date doesn't suit you, I'm sure we could come to some agreement.

If you are interested in having me as an au pair, could you please let me know all the necessary details? And if you wish to get more information do not hesitate to contact me.

Regards,

Elodie

Encore une fois merci pour votre aide!

Elodie

Réponse: A corriger/jeune fille au pair de nick27, postée le 28-07-2006 à 12:28:58 (S | E)
Hello.

Here's my correction :

Hello,

I do not know if you got/received my message. That's why I am writing you again.

I am really happy that my profile corresponds to what you are looking for. I got several offers from others families but yours interests me a lot. I immediately found that your children were lovely.

I am used to looking after babies, toddlers and young children up to the age of 10. So you will just have to tell me about their habits and I will make my very best to make sure everything goes well.

I have a few questions to ask you in order to get to know you a little bit more. What town do you live in? What are your jobs? Do you have pictures of you, of your house, of your children, ... ?

I am a simple girl who likes nature and manual work. My mother is a housewife, she has been looking after three children : Baptist (3 years) Maylis (2 years) and Aloys (1 year) for a few years. My father is a policeman. I have 2 brothers : Nicolas (26 years) who is a businessman and Damien (30 years) who is a fireman. I live in a house 20 km away from Strasbourg.
I have a boyfriend, too. I have known him for more than 2 years. I hope we will be able to see each other from time to time.

I understand English pretty well but my spoken English gives me some troubles and needs a lot of improvement. By the way, could you please let me know if there would be any possibility to join some English classes for foreigners in your area?

I will make my best to make this experience very rewarding for you and me.

I am available as from September and I could arrive around the 15th. In case the date doesn't suit you, I am sure we could come to an agreement.

If you are interested in having me as an au pair, could you please let me know all the necessary details? And if you wish to get more information do not hesitate to contact me.

Regards,

Elodie

See you

Réponse: A corriger/jeune fille au pair de mp27, postée le 28-07-2006 à 14:55:53 (S | E)
Hello Elodie!
C'est de mieux en mieux. Bravo! Ces lettres t'auront appris pas mal de choses bien pratiques en anglais, tu vois! Dans cette dernière lettre, je n'ai repris que ce qui demandait correction/ ré-arrangement

Je suppose que tu écris à la mère de famille, donc, tu commences par:
Dear Mrs (nom de famille)

I don’t know if you received my message. So I write you again.
I am once again writing to you, as I'm not sure you received my previous message.
my previous message = mon message précédent.

to your searching--> to what you are looking for. (to look for = chercher)
offers of others families --> offers from other families (et pas de “s” à other!)

in order to get to know you and your family a little bit more.

What are your jobs? What's your job?
J'ai mis au singulier, car la lettre est adressée à la mère de famille. Quand elle répondra, elle ajoutera le travail de son mari... tu verras bien

Do you have photographs of you, your home, children…? Could you send me (e-mail me) some photos of you & your family, and of your house...?

a simple girl –> an easy going girl

My mother is a stay at home mum, she looks after children : Baptist (3 years) Maylis (2 years) and Aloys (1year) :--> My mother works at home as a childminder . At the moment, she is looking after 3 toddlers (pas nécessaire de donner le nom de chacun)

I’ll make my best to make this experience very rewarding for you and me.--> I'll do my best to make sure this will be a good experience for you and your family, and for me as well.
(faire de mon mieux: to do my best-- pas le verbe to make)

-----------------------
Le reste de ta lettre va très bien!

Réponse: A corriger/jeune fille au pair de elodie67, postée le 29-07-2006 à 09:05:25 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup pour toutes vos corrections! Je ne sais pas ce que j'aurais fait sans vous!!

Elodie

-------------------
Modifié par willy le 29-07-2006 12:02

Réponse: A corriger/jeune fille au pair de elodie67, postée le 01-08-2006 à 15:04:38 (S | E)
Bonjour, bonjour!!
Et oui me revoila
Je suis en contact avec une famille qui a l'air vraiment sympa, elle m'a écrit toute une lettre pour me décrire leur famille, leur travail....
Elle me demande plusieurs petites choses, donc voici ma lettre dans laquelle je leur répond :

Hi Jenny

Thank you for your letter, you give me a lot of information. They give me a good idea of what it would be like to be your Au Pair. Your family and you seem like a friendly family and Lily is very charming in the photo. You said that Hugh is quite a big boy and already weighs nearly 10kg.. I think it’s not bad for 5 month old too! My mother looks after a 1 years baby who has the same weight! J

I like very much children. Since I was young I look after children as a babysitter. So I feel confident to look after Hugh. Because it’s not the first time to me, all the day I help my mother or other person with there children.

Concerning Lily, it’s possible that in the first time I don’t understand all she says. But I think Lily and I are enough imaginative in order to find a way to understand each other. Furthermore, I am very interested to take English lesson. This English classes allow me to improve my English rapidly and understand Lily’s needs better.

Concerning my boyfriends, his name is Ali and he is 28 years old. He works in a pharmaceutical industry. He makes medicine and makes a lot of tests in order to see if there are problem or not with these. He is very respected by his boss. It is a very nice boy, and like me, he loves children. When he comes in my house, he always help my mother with the children. He loves play with them.

I want to be an Au Pair because I think it is a very beautiful experience. It allow me to improve my English, meet a lot of people, live with a friendly family during few month, discover an other lifestyle, an other city… I am an open-minded person and I love meet people I think it is very rewarding. I think learn about different person, culture is very rewarding! And it’s for all these reasons that I want to become an Au Pair, your Au Pair!

Look forward to hearing from you !

Elodie

Cette fois-ci je ne me suis pas aidé de traducteur donc ca va être pire .. ou mieux qui sait!! Si vous ne comprenez pas ce que je veux dire n'hésitez pas à me demander.

Merci encore pour votre aide!

Elodie

Réponse: A corriger/jeune fille au pair de mp27, postée le 01-08-2006 à 17:12:19 (S | E)
Hello elodie! Tu as fait du bon travail!
Le fait de recopier toi-même ta lettre t'aidera à mieux voir les petites corrections

-- Thank you for your letter, you give me ---> Thank you for your letter and all the information.
-- Lily is very charming in the photo---> pas “in”, mais “on”
-- I think it’s not bad for 5 month old too---> not bad for “a” 5 months old baby
-- My mother looks after..... --->(At the moment) my mother is looking after .......
-- I like very much children. ---> mieux de placer “very much” après le mot “children”
-- Since I was young I look after children as a babysitter.
J'ai arrangé un peu ta phrase pour éviter”since I was young”--->
I have often been a baby sitter and I get on well with children,

-- et de là, tu continues ---> so, I feel confident ...
-- I feel confident to look after Hugh. ---> I feel confident about looking after Hugh.
et le reste ira dans la phrase suivante (tu supprimes donc ton ”because”).

-- it’s not the first time to me, all the day I help my mother or other person with there children. --->
It wouldn't be like looking after children for the first time, since I often help my mother or other people who have children.
“since”, ici, veut dire “puisque”. Il y a aussi le mot “for”qui peut traduire “car” (dans le sens de “because)

-- Concerning Lily, it’s possible that in the first time I don’t understand all she says. --->
Concerning Lily, it's possible that, at first, I won't be able to understand everything she says.

--But I think Lily and I are enough imaginative in order to find a way to understand each other.
(j'aime bien ce que tu dis dans cette phrase)
Enlève le premier mot “but” et remplace par “However”
--->However, I think Lily and I will be imaginative enough to find a way to understand each other.

-- Furthermore, I am very interested to take English lesson. --> ajoute un “s” à lesson-->English lessons

-- This English classes allow me to improve my English rapidly and understand Lily’s needs better. ---> Attending English classes would allow me (me permettrait).........and to get a better understanding of Lily's needs.

-- Concerning my boyfriends,......... ---> my boyfriend, pas de “s”
-- He works in a pharmaceutical industry. ---> in a pharmaceutical company.
-- He makes medicine and makes a lot of tests in order to see if there are problem or not with these.---> He is dealing with the production of medicines and he is involved with conducting tests.
-- It is a very nice boy, and like me, he loves children. ---> pas “it”, mais "He"
--........ he always help my mother with the children. --> he always helps ("s")
-- He loves play with them. ---> He loves playing....
-- It allow me --> it allows me (present) ou bien, It will allow me (futur)
--->It will allow me to...., to..... and to.....
donc, ajoute “to” avant “improve”, avant “meet, avant “live”, et ajoute “and to” avant “discover”...
-- an other-->en un seul mot

-- .......and I love meet people I think it is very rewarding. --->
and I love meeting people because I think it is very rewarding!

-- And it’s for all these reasons that I want to become an Au Pair, your Au Pair!---> It's for all these reasons that I would like to become your Au Pair.

-- Look forward to hearing from you ! --> ajoute “ing” à Look (Looking forward to.......)

Depuis ta première lettre du 25, tu as fait pas mal de progrès! Fais attention aux corrections et tu verras toi-même comment continuer à améliorer ton anglais.
All my very best wishes!

Réponse: A corriger/jeune fille au pair de elodie67, postée le 04-08-2006 à 09:44:21 (S | E)
Bonjour,

Voici une autre lettre que je souhaiterai faire corriger :

Hi Jenny,

You had a lot of applications, I am not surprising because you seem to be a friendly family.

You would like to think a bit more over the weekend before to make a decision and it’s quite understanding. I think it’s not easy to choose an Au Pair.

Tomorrow I set up for 5 days in the Vosges (mountains which are in Alsace next to STRASBOURG) for a hill walking. I will have no phone, no net so I will read your decision from Wednesday.

There is no problem to arrange a time for you to call me.

Have a good weekend,

Elodie

PS : I want to make my best so I asked to somebody if she can correct my letter. So there is somebody who helps me and allows me to improve my English. I make a lot of effort in order to make myself understood.

Merci beaucoup pour votre aide,

Elodie

Réponse: A corriger/jeune fille au pair de mp27, postée le 04-08-2006 à 11:57:58 (S | E)
Hello Elodie.
Encore une fois, je ne vais reprendre que là où c'est nécessaire -- soit pour corriger une erreur, soit pour exprimer plus clairement.
--You had a lot of applications, I am not surprising because you seem to be a friendly family.
ou bien: this is not surprising
ou bien: I am not surprised
ou bien this doesn't surprise me
"because", ici, est ok. Tu pourrais aussi employer le mot “as”.

--You would like to think a bit more over the weekend before to make a decision and it’s quite understanding. I think it’s not easy to choose an Au Pair.
En “tournant” un peu et en réarrageant, tu peux exprimer cela plus succintement, de la façon suivante:
"Choosing an Au Pair isn't easy, so, I understand you need time this wekend to come to a decision".

--Tomorrow I set up for 5 days in the Vosges (mountains which are in Alsace next to STRASBOURG) for a hill walking.
..............I set off for 5 days hill walking in the Vosges mountains (West of Strasbourg, in the Alsace region)

--I will have ...... ..so I will read your decision from Wednesday.
..........................so I can't know your decision before Wednesday.

--There is no problem to arrange a time for you to call me.
"If you want to phone me later on, let me know about the time that suits you. There shouldn't be any problem."
-later on = plus tard
-let me know: faites-moi savoir
-the time that suits you = l'heure qui vous convient
-There shouldn't be any problem: Il ne devrait pas y avoir de problème.

PS : I want to make my best --> I want to do my best
-so I asked to somebody--> so I asked somebody
-if she can correct my letter--> (so I asked somebody)to correct my letter..
Tu peux ajouter:
That person is French and she lives in the South of England. She is helping me with my English as I am determined to improve it and to make myself understood.

Bonnes vacances dans les Vosges!... and Good luck!

Réponse: A corriger/jeune fille au pair de elodie67, postée le 04-08-2006 à 12:14:42 (S | E)
Merci pour la correction!

Bon weekend!!

Elodie

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