A Sunny expression

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A Sunny expression
Message de jeanmi posté le 12-07-2005 à 21:49:11 (S | E | F | I)
Je vous propose aujourd'hui un sujet d'expression dans la lignée du jeu que j'ai posté dans le forum Divers :

The sun and its consequences. Say what you know about it and what you do to prevent disastrous consequences.

Au plaisir de vous corriger...

Réponse: A Sunny expression de bridg, postée le 12-07-2005 à 23:06:04 (S | E)
Hello jeanmi
I hope it's not a disaster but I try

Well used sun means life. For beings it’s really important, it allows different vitamins D synthesis and the phototherapy as treatment for certain diseases, and it allows being unstressed.
The fatal sun effects are caused by excessive ultraviolet rays exposure capitalized during the entire life.
Premature skin ageing
Cutaneous Tumours
Some ocular pathology
We need sun we need to use it for our benefit.

Réponse: A Sunny expression de jeanmi, postée le 12-07-2005 à 23:11:08 (S | E)
Hello Bridg,
Tu me sembles un peu trop pessimiste... Ton essai est parfait. Je n'ai rien à corriger.
Go on this way.

Réponse: A Sunny expression de bridg, postée le 12-07-2005 à 23:13:54 (S | E)
, tu m'as fait transpirer mais c'est super.

Réponse: A Sunny expression de traviskidd, postée le 13-07-2005 à 00:57:44 (S | E)
The sun is yellow!

Except when it's about to set; then it's orange and may even turn red!

I've also heard of a "green flash" where the sun turns green in the instant before it sets. I've never seen it, though, nor am I sure if it even really exists.

At the North (and South too, but the seasons are opposite) Pole, the sun moves in a horizontal circle. During the spring this circle gets higher, and after the summer solstice it gets lower, until the autumnal equinox when the circle is the (entire!) horizon. During the fall and winter, the sun is below the horizon and so it is night, except for the twilight which lasts for about 2 weeks after sunset and before the next sunrise at (actually a day before, I think) the vernal equinox.

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Edité par jeanmi le 14-07-2005 15:22

Very good essay, Travis, even if it is not exactly what I expected. The topic concerns more the consequences of lying too long under the sun on our health...

Réponse: A Sunny expression de hyppoblue, postée le 13-07-2005 à 09:56:14 (S | E)
Sun brings (1) us life ; on earth we all need of (2) sun to grow up and to live. It warms bodies and souls. A sunny morning, and here you are, ready to go, in a good mood, with a lot of plans. All the civilizations ~~has~~ have (3) been the worshippers of a star which gives them light and warm; even ourselves, we all like to be a little suntanned to look weel, isn't it?
Of course, it should be enjoyed in moderation, otherwise up to you the sun burns, the face wrinkleds like an old crumpled apple, and worse, malignant melanomas or cutaneous cancers.
Personally, I don’t like sunbathes, but all the leisures I love ~~centre~~ focus on sea and boats -sea and sun are indissociable isn’t it ? So I can’t avoid ~~to expose~~ exposing(4) myself, then tee-shirt with long sleeves (why "long"?) , sun hat, sunglasses, sun oil or cream : all the sunworshipper’s set is to be compulsory.
J'ai fait de mon mieux, sois indulgent Jeanmi. Pleaaaaaaaase

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Edité par jeanmi le 14-07-2005 15:23

1) N'oubliez pas le "S" final lorsque vous conjuguez au présent simple.
2) "need" est un verbe transitif, contrairement au français.
3) le sujet est pluriel
4) Voir à ce sujet le post sur V + V-ing Lien Internet

Ton essai est très bon, bonne argumentation, bonne syntaxe.

Réponse: A Sunny expression de babyscot59, postée le 13-07-2005 à 12:46:22 (S | E)
"Here comes the sun , and I say it's alright"

Sweet Nina, you know very little how dangerous it is for my northern skin to stand under the sun. I hate when it's too sunny, I am allergic to it. When a mosquitoe bites me, my skin gets red and I could spend the day scratching with my nails or anything sharp.

I now pay attention to it, I try not to go out when it's too sunny or If I have to, I use solar oil and put a T-Shirt and thick blue jeans, I may be too hot but I am perfectly protected.

Thanks to that discipline, I was sunburned only once, I was coming from Scotland after one year in the cold weather. I came back on Sunday and on the following wednesday, I was obliged to see / consult the doc. I was as red as a boiled lobster. Since then I have been very careful!!

So, sortez couvert ;)

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Edité par jeanmi le 14-07-2005 15:31
Excellent job, but no surprise as you remained one year in Scotland... for your essay.

Réponse: A Sunny expression de jardin62, postée le 13-07-2005 à 13:48:15 (S | E)
It's when I kneel near my little pond that I feel it's very hard to be severe towards KING SUN!
The frog is there sunbathing on a large leaf of water lily. She is covered with glittering pearls of water. She 's like a little Princess.
In autumn, sunrays are caught by the gorgeous reds of the acers .
The garden looks like a jewel-case.
In winter I can perceive the pathetic efforts the sun makes to keep its balance over the horizon...
But the subject is: '...its disastrous consequences...'
Well, what about the hole in the ozone layer? a hole as in an old worn-out sock!
Who did it? Man! (I'd prefer the word "human")
Is there an old Indian grandma' somewhere to mend it and soothe the scorch?

Everyone knows the disastrous consequences, drought being -to my view- the most dramatic.

-'Can I speak to Doctor Nature, please?
- I am sorry, he's absent at present. Is there a message?
- Would you mind telling him Mr Sun is a bit exaggerating : my skin...Hold on please! Please!!!!!
- (Dead silence)

(Désolée, j'avais envie d'être quelque peu hors-sujet!)
See you soon!

or...'See you sun!'
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Edité par jardin62 le 13-07-2005 20:40

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Edité par jeanmi le 14-07-2005 15:35
Je ne pense pas que tu aies été vraiment hors sujet, tu as bien évoqué les aspects positifs du soleil en nous faisant partager un tableau très romantique, et tu as lancé le sujet des conséquences désastreuses du soleil sur le monde et leur cause.
Très bon essai, félicitations

Réponse: A Sunny expression de kathleen, postée le 13-07-2005 à 14:52:42 (S | E)
Hello Jeanmi!

The sun is ~~an element very important~~ a very important element(1) and essential for us. It allows us to live.
There won’t be life without the sun. But the sun isn’t always good for us, it also has negative consequences.
Firstly, we are going to show positive consequences.
We need sun for our health. We need it to grow up. Then, the sun cures many skin diseases like vitiligo and psoriasis.
It is also good for our moral.
Secondly, we are going to show negative consequences of the sun.
When we expose ourselves too much to the sun, the skin becomes red and very painful : it’s the sunburn. And it’s caused by ultraviolet rays.
And there are also infrared rays which ~~are~~ have serious effects on the human.
So, some diseases are caused by the sun.
Finally, we can say that the sun is very important for us but it doesn’t mean that we must expose ourselves too much to it.

Alors, j'espère ne pas avoir fait trop de fautes.
Ce n'est pas facile comme sujet mais il est très intéressant.
Vous vous êtes trouvé du boulot à faire Jeanmi.
C'est à notre tour maintenant de vous dire: Bonne chance.
Alors bonne chance à vous pour la correction.

Jeanmi pour cet exercice.

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Edité par jeanmi le 14-07-2005 15:41
1) l'adjectif précède toujours le nom qu'il qualifie
Très bon essai et

Réponse: A Sunny expression de lethidee, postée le 13-07-2005 à 19:09:21 (S | E)
Hello

So the sun is shining for all the people and all the inhabitants of this planet.
The sun is burning my skin but I use a lot of sun lotions.
The sun is enjoying us when we are on holidays.
In fact, people need of (1) the sun and it is an essential element of the life.
I need it for my good health and my life.
Without sun, I'll very often be certainly creasy or sad ~~very often~~ (2).
I'm lucky to live in the South of France.

All that is very simple but so important for me.

see you

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Edité par jeanmi le 14-07-2005 15:45
1) le verbe "need" est transitif en français contrairement à l'anglais.
2) l'adverbe précède toujours le verbe.

Très bon essai.

Réponse: A Sunny expression de masselotte, postée le 13-07-2005 à 19:20:51 (S | E)
Bonsoir jeanmi

the Sun stimulates (1) the vitamins A and B which fix the calcium (I think it's vitamin D) on the bones and help you becom~~ing~~ ~~more~~ stronger(2).Like that there is less osteoporosis among senior citizens.If the sun is good to fix the calcium on the bones,he it(3) is also good to reduce the skin diseases as : << eczema,psoriasis >> .But there is a danger when we expose our body more of than ten minutes by day this increaseS(1) the ageing process of the skin,and developS(1) some cancers.To reduc~~ing~~(4) the risks, we must protect our skin with a barrier cream,~~who~~ which(5) has the power ~~stooped~~ to stop (6) the ultraviolet rays A and B ,if this one has an (7) high protection factor.

bonne soirée et

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Edité par jeanmi le 14-07-2005 15:47
1) Attention à ne pas oublier votre "S" lorsque vous conjuguez au présent simple, troisième personne du singulier.
2) STRONG est un adjectif court (Une seule syllabe) et forme donc son comparatif en ER.
3) N'utilisez HE que pour parler d'humains ou d'animaux familiers.
4) Ici, vous exprimez un but, vous utilisez donc TO suivi d'une base verbale.
5) "who" est le pronom relatif des humains, pour le reste préférez "which"
6) Un verbe en "ED" n'est possible que pour le prétérit (action passée datée ou terminée ou au participe passé.
7) Lorsqu'on prononce "high", on entend le H, il n'est pas muet, il est donc considéré comme une consonne à part entière, à l'inverse de "hour", où il ne s'entend pas.

Bon essai, et pour vos efforts.

Réponse: A Sunny expression de jeanmi, postée le 14-07-2005 à 15:35:36 (S | E)
Hello,

En ayant à présent la possibilité, je corrige donc maintenant vos essais directement en édition, vous trouverez donc la correction et les explications éventuelles directement à la suite de votre travail sur le post initial.

à tous pour votre travail et pour efforts continus.

Réponse: A Sunny expression de magmatic_rock, postée le 14-07-2005 à 20:56:46 (S | E)
Bon allez je me lance Jeanmi

Can I say all that I know about the sun but at a scientific level, like ~~his heavy, his tall~~ its weight, its size, ~~his~~ its(1) temperature.... Well, ok, it is not the problem!

Well more seriously, I'm fond of the sun and I've been(2) liveing on sun since ~~I birth~~ I was born. Before I starting(3) working during summer I went there every day and I never put any suncream, yet I know it is dangerous but also I spendt (4) almost all my time in water! I don' like suntaning! Anyway, when you're ~~into~~ under (5) water you're suntaning ~~even so~~ too! I know it is bad because later when ~~i'll~~ be am(6) older, cancer disease ~~will can~~ may(7) hit me! But I'm used to sun! All the same, I advise parents to put their children ~~the more as~~ as much as possible in the shade, under a sunshade or stay with them into water but above all, don't let them on sun!

I hope ~~it wont be too~~ there won't be (8) too many (9) mistakes because my text is already very poor in comparison with the others! But also I'm not an expert like Bridg! Anyway, a high well done to Bridg, as for her perfect text as for her ideas included into her text!

Jeanmi

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Edité par jeanmi le 15-07-2005 20:19
1) L'adjectif possessif "son" se traduit "its" lorsque le possesseur n'est pas humain, "his" lorsqu'il est humain.
2) Tu utilises "since" dans le sens de "depuis", il faut donc utiliser un present perfect dans la principale. Have + participe passé du verbe.
3)Il est plus simple d'utiliser le V-ing après "before" ce qui évite des erreurs de temps.
4)Attention aux concordances des temps : prétérit ici, spend étant un verbe irrégulier, son prétérit est spent
5) into suppose l'action d'entrer dans un lieu, under exprime l'idée d'être sous quelque chose.
6)principale au futur + When + subordonnée au présent.
7) Comme tous les auxiliaires de modalité, CAN ne peut pas être conjugué à quelque temps que ce soit. Pour exprimer une probabilité, je te conseille l'emploi de MAY
8) Il y a se traduit there is + singulier, there are + pluriel.
9) pour traduire trop, too + adjectif, too many + nom pluriel, too much + nom singulier.

Je suis très content de voir que tu t'es quand même lancé, et même s'il y a des erreurs dans ton texte, tu l'as fait, et je pense qu'à travers ces corrections, tu auras appris quelque chose. Continue ainsi.

Réponse: A Sunny expression de bridg, postée le 14-07-2005 à 21:35:06 (S | E)
magmatic_rock, but you know how far I'm to be an expert, I have been progressing for a year, slowly, that's all and you are on the same way. Now You know my job . Talking to the others about issues from sun, tobacco, alcohol, ... is a part of my mission therefore not so meritorious as it seems to you.
(en attente de correction )

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Edité par jeanmi le 15-07-2005 20:37
Very good Bridg, and I am sure that Magnatic will soon become a perfect English speaker.

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Edité par bridg le 15-07-2005 20:54

Réponse: A Sunny expression de magmatic_rock, postée le 14-07-2005 à 22:40:46 (S | E)
Exact I know your job but I've forgotten it or at least I mean that I haven't ~~thinked~~ thought(1)! But well done all the same! For example, your answer (~~who~~ which(2) is just above this one!), I can understand it but I couldn't do it myself!--->therefore not so meritorious as it seems to you. The syntax is too hard for me! So I have to read it 2 or 3 times ~~for~~ to(3) understand it!

Yes I'm waiting too for my correction but I just hope there aren't too many(4) mistakes but I know that I didn't quite answered (5) at (6) the expected question ~~expected~~ and besides I've removed(7) a lot of my old text otherwise it would have been off-board!

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Edité par jeanmi le 15-07-2005 20:38
1) Attention aux verbes irréguliers Magnatic, to think --> thought.
2) Le pronom relatif "who" est réservé aux êtres humains, "which" s'applique aux non-humains.
3) Le but s'exprime à l'aide de "TO" lorsqu'il est suivi d'un verbe, et se traduit "pour", FOR est suivi d'un nom.
4) voir ton essai...
5) Si tu utilise "DID", ne rajoute pas "ED" à la fin du verbe, il est déjà dans DID (le D final peut t'y faire penser.)
6) to answer est un verbe transitif.
7) Present perfect ici, il n'y a aucune notion de date, action passée non datée ou ayant des conséquences sur le présent.

Réponse: A Sunny expression de jeanmi, postée le 15-07-2005 à 20:46:39 (S | E)
Hello Magnatic,

I've just checked your essays, you are not that bad. At least, you try to do something and I am sure you try to do your best. If you go on like that, working and learning, you'll soon become very good at English. Be more confident!
See you

Réponse: A Sunny expression de magmatic_rock, postée le 15-07-2005 à 23:13:34 (S | E)
I only have one word : DISASTROUS I'm ashamed

Réponse: A Sunny expression de jeanmi, postée le 15-07-2005 à 23:15:52 (S | E)
Hi Magnatic,
You shouldn't be ashamed. On the contrary, you are brilliant! You try and that's great! Your essay is not disastrous at all!
Aies confiance en toi, et tout ira mieux.

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