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conte modifié (suite)
Message de reymysterio posté le 06-11-2007 à 14:11:56 (S | E | F | I)
Bonjour . Durant ces vacances , je devais faire un(e) devoir en anglais . Le but de ce devoir est de faire 8-15 lignes en modifiant l'issue d'un conte .
Je sais que c'estaps pas terrible ce que j'ai fait c'est pour celà que je vous demande si possible de corriger mes fautes ou de m'aider à l'améliorer . Voici ce que j'ai fait :
"On the 15th october 1780 , a little girl was going to her grandmother's house . Before girl's starting , her mother says "there is a big wolf on the dark forest , don't stop!" The girl was heard and she left for her grandmother's house . She brought a basket of food because a grandma was ill . On the dark forest , the girl was singing and dancing but she didn't stop ! She arrived on her grandma's house , she saw a wolf on her grandma's bed , she released her basket of food , she took a gun and she shoot the wolf , but the wolf was the grandma , to wind up her grand-daughter, her grandma disguised into a wolf . After that , a wolf came on the grandma house and was eating the girl when she wept . "
Oui le sujet est à mettre au passé !
Merci beaucoup !
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Modifié par bridg le 06-11-2007 14:19
Message de reymysterio posté le 06-11-2007 à 14:11:56 (S | E | F | I)
Bonjour . Durant ces vacances , je devais faire un
Je sais que c'est
"On the 15th october 1780 , a little girl was going to her grandmother's house . Before girl's starting , her mother says "there is a big wolf on the dark forest , don't stop!" The girl was heard and she left for her grandmother's house . She brought a basket of food because a grandma was ill . On the dark forest , the girl was singing and dancing but she didn't stop ! She arrived on her grandma's house , she saw a wolf on her grandma's bed , she released her basket of food , she took a gun and she shoot the wolf , but the wolf was the grandma , to wind up her grand-daughter, her grandma disguised into a wolf . After that , a wolf came on the grandma house and was eating the girl when she wept . "
Oui le sujet est à mettre au passé !
Merci beaucoup !
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Modifié par bridg le 06-11-2007 14:19
Réponse: conte modifié (suite) de reymysterio, postée le 06-11-2007 à 17:44:38 (S | E)
S'il vous plait ...
Réponse: conte modifié (suite) de TravisKidd, postée le 06-11-2007 à 18:14:39 (S | E)
- "October 15th" (ou "the 15th of October")
- Before the girl set out
- Her mother says (vous voulez un passé)
- "There is..." (on commence une citation avec un majuscule)
- "The girl was heard"??? (La fille fut entendue?)
-
- She arrived at her grandmother's house
En fait tout à partir de "She arrived..." est une prèsque incompréhensible chaîne de pensées. Reflechissez bien sur ce que vous voulez dire et réécrivez-le.
Réponse: conte modifié (suite) de reymysterio, postée le 06-11-2007 à 20:24:00 (S | E)
Voilà j'ai essayé d'améliorer un peu . Je sais que j'ai cafouillé mais je souhiaterais dire "Elle a vu un loup dans le lit de sa grand-mère , elle fit tomber son panier , saisit un pistolet puis tire sur le loup , mais c'était sa grand-mère qui s'était déguisée en loup pour faire une farce à sa petite-fille !
""On the 15th of october 1780 , a little girl was going to her grandmother's house . Before girl's starting , her mother said "There is a big wolf on the dark forest , don't stop!" The girl heard and she left for her grandmother's house . She brought a basket of food because a grandma was ill . On the dark forest , the girl was singing and dancing but she didn't stop ! She arrived at her grandma's house , she saw a wolf on her grandma's bed , she released her basket of food , she took a gun and she shoot the wolf , but the wolf was the grandma , to wind up her grand-daughter, her grandma disguised into a wolf . After that , a wolf came on the grandma house and ate the girl when she was weeping ."
Oui je voudrais dire "Dans" , se serait "in" et pas "on" , non ?
Encore merci !
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Modifié par mariebru le 06-11-2007 20:31
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