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RYB/let's suggest-1

Cours gratuits > Forum > Exercices du forum || En bas

[POSTER UNE NOUVELLE REPONSE] [Suivre ce sujet]


RYB/let's suggest-1
Message de here4u posté le 27-10-2021 à 22:59:23 (S | E | F)
Hello, chers tous !

J’ai cru comprendre que l’ancien Rack your Brains (and help !) était devenu trop difficile et surtout trop chronophage.
Je vous propose donc un nouveau type de travail de ( ou moins / ou plus , ça dépendra de vous, d’où vous mettrez la barre … ) Ce travail se fera en plusieurs temps : l’explication des erreurs sera publiée le vendredi 12 novembre 2021.

Voici les modalités :
1. Je vous donne une EXPRESSION comme je le fais depuis plusieurs exercices sur un sujet imposé (un sujet unique par exercice) à m’envoyer en mp dès maintenant … (=> 130 - 150 mots au maximum - un seul envoi par personne.) Vous êtes libres de faire cet exercice, ou non ! ( maximum de « rédacteurs » : 8 pour le moment et toujours sur la base de «first sent, first published, first corrected» jusqu’à ce que le « quorum » soit atteint [avec un max de 8 à 10, à revoir si nécessaire ...]

2. Le plus tôt possible, une première expression (anonymée ou non, à chacun de me le préciser ...) est publiée sur Forum, et CHACUN est libre de « corriger » UNE FOIS ( en collant le texte et indiquant les fautes EN BLEU, sans donner la «correction » (forme correcte), comme il se doit.) Un seul devoir corrigé à la fois …

3. Dans un troisième temps, après deux jours de « publication », CHACUN pourra (en une fois) faire des propositions de corrections. (formulées en italiques). Lorsque la première publication est « terminée », je publie la deuxième etc…

4. Pendant tout ce temps, je serai en train d’élaborer « la correction finale » (explication des fautes et justification du choix final … Le quatrième temps sera, à la date annoncée, la publication des suggestions pour l’ensemble des productions.
Chaque rédacteur pourra réécrire son texte initial, s’il le veut, en faisant ses corrections « éclairées ». (C’est en quelque sorte un Follow up work – qui n’est pas obligatoire !) Votre sujet :

Let’s suggest! 1:
Change: what does it mean to you? Is it something you fear or look forward to? Why? (=> 130-150 words)

J'attends vos envois en mp et publierai le premier dès que possible. MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU and with US!



Réponse : RYB/let's suggest-1 de here4u, postée le 29-10-2021 à 08:42:11 (S | E)
Hello!

Who's going to be FIRST? Go on... I dare you!



Réponse : RYB/let's suggest-1 de here4u, postée le 29-10-2021 à 12:12:24 (S | E)
Hello, dear Friends!

I heard, and I know that some of you are working silently...
Here is the first "EXPRESSION": and the second step of your work is beginning...

Production 1) vendredi 29/10/21 - Anon. 12H.
I) It’s difficult to change often. You loose the things and people that you know and love. You have to adapt in a new environment, have new friends, abandon your old ones and advance towards the unknown. To get new friends isn’t always easy and I would not like to loose my friends of school. Changing of bedroom is terrible for me because my room represents the security. I know where are my things (books and games) and may find all easily.
I love the idea of change but think it’s so difficult to do it… My little sister changed of school and was very frightened and alone first. She had got no friends. Changing of town is a terrible experience, but perhaps you will find your best friends and your soul mate. I don’t like change, but it sometimes will bring new opportunities.
148 words.

Cette production répond bien à la demande. Vous pouvez maintenant, et jusque dimanche 12h signaler les fautes (en bleu), ce qui vous semble maladroit, sans être vraiment faux, peut être souligné. Ne mettez pas, pour le moment, ce que vous considérez être la bonne solution.

Votre co-worker et moi comptons sur vous !



Réponse : RYB/let's suggest-1 de here4u, postée le 30-10-2021 à 11:08:41 (S | E)
Hello!

Week-end ET vacances ... Pffff! Allez un petit effort !
J'ai oublié de préciser que les corrections rapportent des points !



Réponse : RYB/let's suggest-1 de magie8, postée le 31-10-2021 à 13:21:53 (S | E)
Hello,
Here is the first "EXPRESSION" : and the second step of your work is beginning...
hello bonjour je pense avoir compris, je corrige le texte reçu et j attends le suivant et le feu vert pour corriger en clair
Production 1) vendredi 29/10/21 - Anon. 12H.

I) It’s difficult to change often. You lost the things and people that you know and love. You have to adapt in a new environment, have new friends, abandon your old ones and ]move forwards to the unknown. To get new friends isn’t always easy and I would not like to lost my SCOOLMATES. Changing of bedroom is terrible for me because my room represents the security. I know where (books and games) and I AM ABLE TO find all easily.
I love the idea of CHANGING but think it’s so difficult to do it… My little sister changed of school and was very frightened and alone first. She had got no friends. Changing of town is a terrible experience, but perhaps you will find your best friends and your soul mate. I don’t like change, but it sometimes will bring new opportunities. 148 words.

Est-il trop tard pour envoyer un texte sur ce sujet, il fallait le faire avant midi ?
LES COULEURS SONT MA BËTE NOIRE LES MAJUSCULES , LES ACCENTS, LES ECARTEMENTS ENTRE LES MOTS; LA PONCTUATION;JE SUIS fatiguée ce soir. excusez- moi...

------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 03-11-2021 21:23
Bug couleur réparé.




Réponse : RYB/let's suggest-1 de here4u, postée le 31-10-2021 à 17:22:34 (S | E)
Hello! Good! Magie ! You're the brightest and fastest one... (I was told my rules weren't clear...)

As the first deadline has been reached, you may now correct expression N° 1 in green (and add explanations) if you're inspired...

I have a second try waiting to be published and you're welcome to send yours to me asap! The sky's the limit!



Réponse : RYB/let's suggest-1 de here4u, postée le 31-10-2021 à 17:34:45 (S | E)
Hello, You all!

With the weekend, the days off and the holidays... it's quite a difficult start for this new exercise and I apologise to writer N° 1 for the apparent lack of enthusiasm...
Thanks Magie for stepping in and I will help too. YOU ARE NOW FREE TO SUGGEST!
in green, if you're sure, but you may « suggest » another structure too...


EXPRESSION N° I) It’s difficult to change often (not clear). You loose the things and people that you know and love. You have to adapt in a new environment, have new friends, abandon your old ones and ]advance towards the unknown. To get new friends isn’t always easy and I would not like to loose my friends of school. Changing of bedroom is terrible for me because my room represents the security. I know where are my things (books and games) and may find all easily.
I love the idea of change but think it’s so difficult to do it… My little sister changed of school and was very frightened and alone first. She had got no friends. Changing of town is a terrible experience, but perhaps you will find your best friends and your soul mate. I don’t like change, but it sometimes will bring new opportunities. 148 words.

Voici ma correction rajoutée à celle de magie ! (encore d'avoir osé ! )
Lorsque nous passerons au deuxième extrait, il sera trop tard pour corriger ce premier ...



Réponse : RYB/let's suggest-1 de maxwell, postée le 31-10-2021 à 20:26:37 (S | E)
FINISHED
Hello
C'est la première fois donc j'espère que j'ai bien compris les règles je propose une correction en vert.

EXPRESSION N° I) It’s not always easy to change. You may lose the things and people that you know and love. You have to adapt yourself to a new environment, have new friends, abandon your old ones and move forward into the unknown. Getting new friends isn’t always easy and I would not like to lose my schoolmates. Changing rooms is terrible for me because my room represents [] security. I know where my things are (books and games) and find them all easily.
I love the idea of changing but think it’s too difficult to do it… My little sister changed schools and was very frightened and felt lonely at first. She had got no friends. Changing cities is a terrible experience, but perhaps you will find your best friends and your soul mate. I don’t like change, but it sometimes brings new opportunities. 148 words.



Réponse : RYB/let's suggest-1 de here4u, postée le 31-10-2021 à 21:51:01 (S | E)
Hello, You all!

Oui ! Tu as bien compris, Max ! et parfaitement corrigé ! (la prochaine fois, tu ne pourras pas proposer en vert en première position ... pour que tout le monde puisse "jouer"! OK ?

Je poste donc la deuxième expression qui m'est parvenue (sur le même sujet, bien sûr) .... et en espère beaucoup d'autres !

EXPRESSION N° 2:

To change is a verb that very often arouses young people's desires. Usually, when you're young, you dream of travelling, of moving, of learning new languages and meeting people who have a different way of living that yours. When you're young you can make for new horizons, you do not feel attached to a place yet, you easily break your own habits and long for new experiences. It's the time for all dreams. Then age comes and happy he like Ulysses come back to the country of his youthful years'. You have a family of your own, a house, friends, a job you like and that would be heartbreak to change your life as it goes.
So to summarize, changing when you are young is an expectation you may (should) long for. But after a certain age and having set up the life you wanted, it certainly is more uncertain and more disturbing.
(about 140)

ATTENTION ! PAS DE CORRECTIONS avant mardi soir 2/11. Merci de simplement mettre les erreurs en bleu et les maladresses soulignées.

Courage aux correcteurs et aux rédacteurs ... Vous pouvez être l'un et l'autre !



Réponse : RYB/let's suggest-1 de maxwell, postée le 01-11-2021 à 08:00:39 (S | E)
FINISHED
Hello!
Understood
EXPRESSION N° 2:

To change is a verb that very often arouses young people's desires. Usually, when you're young, you dream of travelling, (of) moving, (of) learning new languages and meeting people who have a different way of living that yours. When you're young you can make for new horizons, you do not feel attached to a place yet, you easily break your own habits and long for new experiences. It's the time for all dreams. Then age comes XXX and "happy he XXX like Ulysses (typo) come (tense) back to the country of his youthful years". You have a family of your own, a house, friends, a job you like and that would be heartbreakXXX to change your life as it goes.
So to summarize, changing when you are young is an expectation you may (should) long for. But after a certain age and having set up the life you wanted, it certainly is more uncertain and more disturbing. (about 140)

pas beaucoup de fautes




Réponse : RYB/let's suggest-1 de here4u, postée le 03-11-2021 à 10:22:28 (S | E)
Hello!

Mardi soir est passé ... Vous allez maintenant pouvoir "suggérer" des solutions aux erreurs ou maladresses ... J'en rajoute quelques unes ... Je sais que certains sont en "tournée" et ont hâte de participer ! Let's go for it!

To change is a verb that very often arouses young people's desires. Usually, when you're young, you dream of travelling, (of) moving, (of) learning new languages and meeting people who have a different way of living that yours. When you're young you can make for new horizons, you do not feel attached to a place yet, you easily break your own habits and long for new experiences. It's the time for all dreams. Then age comes XXX and "happy he XXX like Ulysses (typo) come (tense) back to the country of his youthful years". You have a family of your own, a house, friends, a job you like and that would be heartbreakXXX to change your life as it goes.
So to summarize, changing when you are young is an expectation you may (should) long for. But after a certain age and having set up the life you wanted, it certainly is more uncertain and more disturbing. (about 140)

Ready for corrections? I'm expecting a lot more tries...



Réponse : RYB/let's suggest-1 de taiji43, postée le 03-11-2021 à 12:02:46 (S | E)
Dear Here4U
In the end, I am working in the train... I feel a little uncomfortable to correct a text that does not come from a book, especially if my corrections are wrong.

CHANGING (changer ,ing en début de phrase) is a verb or situation that very often arouses young people's desires. Usually, when you're young, you dream of travelling, (of) moving, (of) learning new languages and meeting people who have a different way of living THAN yours (comparaison ) When you're young you can make for new horizons, you do not feel attached to a place yet, you easily break your own habits and long for new experiences. It's the time for all dreams. Then ( THE age (comes ) (the = le nôtre)) we get older and "happy ,( he ) you are (tout le texte est avec you), like ulysse, go back or return (aller à nouveau , revenir) to the country of your youthful years". You have a family of your own, a house, friends, a job you like and that would be heartbreaking (à feindre le coeur) to change your life as it goes.
So (un peu trop ordinaire) : Thus, therefore) to summarize, changing when you are young is an expectation you may (should) long for. But after a certain age and having set up the life you wanted, it certainly is more uncertain and more disturbing.



Réponse : RYB/let's suggest-1 de here4u, postée le 03-11-2021 à 15:39:26 (S | E)
Corrections en vert espérées ...





Réponse : RYB/let's suggest-1 de maxwell, postée le 03-11-2021 à 17:50:04 (S | E)
FINISHED

Hello!

Change very often arouses young people's desires. Usually, when you're young, you dream of travelling, moving, learning new languages and meeting people who have a different lifestyle from you. When you're young you can make for new horizons, you do not feel attached to a place yet, you easily break your own habits and long for new experiences. It's the time for all dreams. Then age comes along and "happy he who like Ulysse has come back to the country of his youthful years". You have a family of your own, a house, friends, a job you like and changing your life the way it goes would be heartbreaking.
Thus to summarize, changing when you are young is an expectation you may (should) long for. But after a certain age and having set up the life you wanted, it certainly is more uncertain and more disturbing. (about 140)



Réponse : RYB/let's suggest-1 de here4u, postée le 04-11-2021 à 21:09:24 (S | E)
Hello, dear writers!

We may consider the second expression is GOOD! Here is the third one !

EXPRESSION N°3:


Here's my personal view of change! I wish I could look forward to changing more often...

Both! Getting out of my comfort zone is something I don't do very often. And that's a big mistake because it prevents me from keeping an open mind in every situation, and developing my creativity. and my flexibility.
Indeed, changing means taking a step into the unknown and making new efforts which may not be rewarding, It can be disappointing and very stressful. Whereas remaining the same is comforting as you've been there before, you know what's going to happen, and you know how to handle it in the most effective way because you've learnt from your past mistakes.
Knowing it's a big mistake makes me want to change as often as I can. But there again, I have to force myself because it's not in my nature.
(135 words)

Now, it's your turn to indicate what is clumsy (underlying it!) and putting the mistakes in blue. Green will be allowed on Saturday night. (You can prepare your corrections (and suggestions) if any. Another essay is waiting to be published and I hope several are on their way... Work well! (Here's the FORCE.)



Réponse : RYB/let's suggest-1 de maxwell, postée le 06-11-2021 à 08:24:33 (S | E)
Hello!
I can't see any mistake



Réponse : RYB/let's suggest-1 de here4u, postée le 06-11-2021 à 09:42:19 (S | E)
Hello maxwell,

If you couldn't see any other mistakes, you could, at least, have corrected the typos in the punctuation, couldn't you? ...



Réponse : RYB/let's suggest-1 de maxwell, postée le 06-11-2021 à 11:49:19 (S | E)
Indeed! But only a couple of full points too many and an exclamation point to be converted into a colon

Here's my personal view of change! I wish I could look forward to changing more often...

Both! Getting out of my comfort zone is something I don't do very often. And that's a big mistake because it prevents me from keeping an open mind in every situation, and developing my creativity. and my flexibility.
Indeed, changing means taking a step into the unknown and making new efforts which may not be rewarding, It can be disappointing and very stressful. Whereas remaining the same is comforting as you've been there before, you know what's going to happen, and you know how to handle it in the most effective way because you've learnt from your past mistakes.
Knowing it's a big mistake makes me want to change as often as I can. But there again, I have to force myself because it's not in my nature. (135 words)



Réponse : RYB/let's suggest-1 de maxwell, postée le 07-11-2021 à 17:20:56 (S | E)
Hello
After more than 48 hours, I post the improved text:

Here's my personal view of change. I wish I could look forward to changing more often...

Change is something that I both fear and search!
Getting out of my comfort zone is something I don't do very often. And that's a big mistake because it prevents me from keeping an open mind in every situation, and developing my creativity and my flexibility.
Indeed, changing means taking a step into the unknown and making new efforts which may not be rewarding. It can be disappointing and very stressful whereas remaining the same is obviously comforting as you've been there before, you know what's going to happen, and you know how to handle the situation in the most effective way because you've learnt from your past mistakes.
Knowing it's a big mistake makes me want to change as often as I can. But there again, I have to force myself because it's not in my nature. (135 words)



Réponse : RYB/let's suggest-1 de here4u, postée le 07-11-2021 à 22:15:45 (S | E)
Hello, Dears,

The weekend is over and the third Expression is good! Here is the following one! Please, don't forget that I'm expecting others (by mp, please...). I hope I'll get others... Please, don't hesitate to enter and send me your tries...

EXPRESSION N°4 :

Being afraid of changing ...Not at all... Let's remember ...successive changes have shaped our personality from childhood to adulthood.
However from chilhood to adulthood ,we have settled into a routine, the changes of our youth have become habits .A few of them are like protective cocoons , and we are willing to keep them, but others, especially those imposed from the contraints of life, make us feel the weight of the monotony ,boredom and even stress..Then,.we would like to get rid of them and,, we are looking for change . Then, we become aware of what we have to gain in this new reality without thinking of incertainties, however we can give up , when the consequences of our changes may cause harm to others. ..But let's keep in mind: Being willing to change is to choose to feel alive, the opportunity to give new impetus.
(149 words)

Please indicate what is clumsy (underlying it!) and putting the possible mistakes in blue! Green and suggestions will be allowed on Tuesday evening. The FORCE is with you!



Réponse : RYB/let's suggest-1 de maxwell, postée le 08-11-2021 à 20:38:08 (S | E)
FINISHED
Hello!

Being afraid of changing...(punctuation) Not at all... Let's remember ...successive changes have shaped our personality from childhood to adulthood.
However from chilhood (typo) to adulthood, we have settled into a routine, the changes of our youth have become habits. A few of them are (tense) like protective cocoons, and we are willing to keep them, but others, especially those imposed from the contraints (typo) of life, make us feel the weight of the monotony, boredom and even stress..(punctuation)Then,. (punctuation)we would like to get rid of them and,, (punctuation)we are looking for change . Then, we become aware of what we have to gain in this new reality without thinking of incertainties (typo), (punctuation) however we can give up , (punctuation) when the consequences of our changes may cause harm to others. ..But let's keep in mind: Being willing to change is to choose to feel alive, XXX the opportunity to give XXX new impetus. (149 words)

Je signale aussi les problèmes de ponctuation, n'est-ce pas ?
Très peu de fautes



Réponse : RYB/let's suggest-1 de here4u, postée le 08-11-2021 à 22:51:33 (S | E)
Hello!

That's what I'd call a rhetorical question... Well done, Maxwell, you were right to do it!
I'll show you the importance of punctuation...



Réponse : RYB/let's suggest-1 de here4u, postée le 10-11-2021 à 14:58:40 (S | E)
Hello dears...

Message in a bottle... Terrible to write when nobody's reading... and not many prospects of being read during this five-day-long weekend... (a contradiction in terms! )

Well! It's time for suggestions in green (and has been so since last evening... ) You may all write soon...




Réponse : RYB/let's suggest-1 de maxwell, postée le 10-11-2021 à 21:20:43 (S | E)
FINISHED

Hello!
I was waiting for you to give the go-ahead

Voici ma proposition :

Afraid of change? Not at all! Let's remember... Successive changes have shaped our personality from childhood to adulthood.
However, from childhood to adulthood, we have settled into a routine: what we've learnt to change during our youth has turned into habits. A few of them have become like protective cocoons, and we are willing to keep them, but others, especially those imposed by the constraints of life, make us feel the weight of monotony, boredom and even stress... That's why we are looking for change so as to get rid of them. That way, we become aware of what we have to gain in this new reality without thinking of uncertainties.
However we may give up when the consequences of our changes may cause harm to others... But let's keep in mind: being willing to change is choosing to feel alive, providing us with the opportunity to give a new impetus. (149 words)



Réponse : RYB/let's suggest-1 de here4u, postée le 10-11-2021 à 23:20:48 (S | E)
Hello you all!

Thanks a lot Maxwell for catching my bottle...

I'll give other workers a chance to post before the deadline and will give you (and others) two challenges: (worth 10 )


A/A/E/E/I/I/O/O/B/H/H/M/P/S/T/T/= one word of 16 letters.

A/I/O/O/O/B/H/P/P/R/T/ = one word of 11 letters…



Réponse : RYB/let's suggest-1 de here4u, postée le 12-11-2021 à 23:55:28 (S | E)
Hello, dear workers,

Ce travail s'est fait en plusieurs temps : voici l’explication des erreurs faites dans les diverses Expressions, vos suggestions et les miennes !
Les corrections qui apparaissent ici sont les vôtres ! Je me suis contentée de « suggérer » une ou d’autres solutions possibles. Les auteurs qui le souhaitent pourront modifier leur texte corrigé en fonction d’elles, en une sorte de Follow up Work qui n’est absolument pas obligatoire.


EXPRESSION
It’s not always easy to change. You may lose the things and people that you know and love. You have to adapt yourself to a new environment, have new friends, abandon your old ones and move forward into the unknown. Getting new friends isn’t always easy and I would not like to lose my schoolmates. Changing rooms is terrible for me because my room represents [] security. I know where my things are (books and games) and find them all easily.
I love the idea of changing but think it’s too difficult to do it… My little sister changed schools and was very frightened and felt lonely at first. She had got no friends. Changing cities is a terrible experience, but perhaps you will find your best friends and your soul mate. I don’t like change, but it sometimes brings new opportunities. 148 words.

Correction 1:
- «It’s difficult to change often.» n’était pas clair et laissait la place à interprétation … Spontanément, j’aurais écrit «It’s often difficult to change », mais là, je prenais le risque de trahir l’auteur … C’est le même parti pris qui a été adopté dans la correction finale, mais nous ne savons pas si cela correspond à l’intention du rédacteur [il pouvait vouloir dire que c’est le nombre de changements (des changements fréquents ) qui sont difficiles à supporter.]
Bien retenir donc que lorsqu’on écrit, it’s clearly because «we have a message to convey» and shouldn’t make it difficult for readers to understand… (they, normally, shouldn't have to interpret, unless the writer wants it!)


- confusion entre «to lose, I lost, lost» et «loose» Lien internet

La correction «lost» ne convenait pas (mais l’erreur avait été identifiée ), car le prétérit était faux ici.
- To adapt oneself TO something
- «to get new friends»: pour se faire de nouveaux amis. En début de phrase, pour exprimer l’infinitif français, il vaut mieux utiliser le gérondif : le fait d’avoir des amis…
- «Friends of school» était très maladroit : schoolmates/ schoolfriends.
- Changer de chambre/ changer d’amis/ changer d’école : attention à la construction !To change rooms/ to change friends/ to change schools etc. Il ne faut pas utiliser la préposition «of» et il faut mettre le nom au pluriel (normal ! il y a la chambre d’avant et la chambre d’après ! )
- So difficult= si difficile// too difficult= trop difficile.
- La sécurité : safety/ security, sans article puisque c’est un mot abstrait.
- I know where are my things: était une interrogative directe (une question). Il fallait ici une interrogative indirecte => "where my things are".
- may find them: indiquait une permission ou une éventualité … can était plus clair.
- Distinguer «lonely» (seul, sentiment solitaire ) et «alone» (seul physiquement, sans personne d’autre).
- le futur était possible dans la dernière phrase, mais attention à la place de l’auxiliaire «will»: "it will sometimes bring"…


II) Expression 2:

Change very often arouses young people's desires. Usually, when you're young, you dream of travelling, moving, learning new languages and meeting people who have a different lifestyle from you. When you're young you can make for new horizons, you do not feel attached to a place yet, you easily break your own habits and long for new experiences. It's the time for all dreams. Then age comes along and "happy he who like Ulysse has come back to the country of his youthful years". You have a family of your own, a house, friends, a job you like and changing your life the way it goes would be heartbreaking.
Thus to summarize, changing when you are young is an expectation you may (should) long for. But after a certain age and having set up the life you wanted, it certainly is more uncertain and more disturbing. (about 140)

CORRECTION 2:
- «Change» en début de phrase : le changement (le nom) … Pourquoi pas ? Je préfère «Changing»: gérondif ! (le fait de changer).

- ¤ Carré blanc ! Spark off/ provoke/ mais j’aime bien «trigger» au lieu de «arouse» qui peut parfois être problématique. (amusant souvenir d’une discussion scabreuse avec des collègues américains qui insistaient sur le fait qu’il faut être « très prudent » avec «arouses» : ce verbe a tendance (en fonction de l’auditoire, bien sûr ) à être souvent compris avec un sens sexuel … De même, j’avais été amenée à expliquer qu’il fallait se méfier de «preservatives» [ traduit par "préservatifs", qui étaient,[ encore heureux !] absents dans une préparation éclair pour brownies, et étaient des « conservateurs », bien sûr !]

- a different way of living from yours: « that » avait bien été corrigé en «than» (qui est plutôt américain) par rapport au «from» britannique. Préférer le pronom possessif «yours» plutôt que «you», puisque le pronom est mis pour «way of living».
- to break habits est TB.// comes along aussi.
- « Heureux qui, comme Ulysse a fait un beau voyage … » écrit par du Bellay et chanté par Brassens : en anglais : «Happy the man, like Ulysses, who's done his roaming, or he who took the Golden Fleece, then in the gloaming comes back home, a wiser man.»
C’est vrai qu’il y avait peu d’erreurs ! Bravo au rédacteur et aux correcteurs !


Expression N° 3:

Here's my personal view of change. Iwish I could look forward to changing * more often...
Change (1) is something that I both fear and search!(2)
Getting out of my comfort zone is something I don't do very often. And that's a big mistake because it prevents me from keeping an open mind in every situation, and developing my creativity and my flexibility.
Indeed, changing means taking (3) a step into the unknown and making new efforts which may not be rewarding. It can be disappointing and very stressful, whereas remaining the same is obviously comforting as you've been there before,(Phrase un peu longue ? « ; therefore, you know…») you know what's going to happen, and (you know) how to handle the situation in the most effective way because you've learnt from your past mistakes (errors/ lapses- pour éviter la répétition très proche).
Knowing it's a big mistake makes me want to change as often as I can. But there again, I have to force myself because it's not in my nature. (135 words)

Correction N° 3:
*Bon emploi de «to look forward to + ing».
(1) Donc là, le choix a porté sur le nom «change». Why not!
(2) C’est bien d’avoir explicité le «Both!». Il n’est pas admissible de commencer une expression sans rappeler le sujet … Attention, cependant : «search» a le plus souvent le sens de « fouiller ».
(3) Il me semble que spontanément, j’aurais répété «from» avant «developing my creativity and my flexibility», car je trouve les compléments de «keeping» assez longs.
(4) Bien d’avoir respecté la construction parallèle entre «changing» and «taking».
(5) Bien d’avoir revu la ponctuation et d’avoir ainsi corrigé «whereas» qui n’était pas très bon …
C’est une très bonne correction ! Bravo.


Expression N° 4:

Afraid of change? Not at all! (1) Let's remember... Successive changes have shaped our personality from childhood to adulthood.
However, from childhood to adulthood (2), we have settled into a routine: what we've learnt to change(3) during our youth has turned into habits. A few of them have become like protective cocoons, and we are willing to keep them, but others, especially those imposed by (4) the constraints of life, make us feel the weight of monotony, boredom and even stress...(5) That's why we are looking for a change so as to get rid of them. That way, we become aware of what we have to gain in this new reality without thinking of uncertainties.(6)
However we may give up (7) when the consequences of our changes may cause harm to others... But let's keep in mind: being willing to change is choosing to feel alive (8), providing us with the opportunity to give a new impetus. (149 words)

CORRECTION N°4
(1) «Being afraid of changing... Not at all...» n’était pas faux, mais «Afraid of change? Not at all!» est bien plus percutant.
(2) from childhood to adulthood: je crois que j’éviterais la répétition très proche de ce segment en employant une autre construction. Il y en a de multiples possibles … (mais la répétition n’est pas une faute)
(3) Bonne correction.
(4) To impose by/ through
(5) Monotony, boredom and stress sont des mots abstraits qui ne prennent pas de déterminants.
(6) Certain/ certainty. Le contraire se forme avec le préfixe UN. => uncertainty.
(7) Pour moi, même cette forme corrigée n’est pas claire. Je ne comprends pas vraiment la phrase … Il fallait ajouter un complément qui éclaircirait ce qu’il faut abandonner.
(8) Il faut une lettre minuscule après : (a colon), comme après ; (a semicolon) d’ailleurs. // Il fallait garder la construction parallèle : being et choosing –
(9) Impetus (peut être dénombrable ou indénombrable …)


Pour sourire ! « De l’importance de la ponctuation ! »
A teacher writes a sentence on a board : The teacher says the pupil is an idiot

He then writes the two very different sentences:

«The teacher», says the pupil, «is an idiot!» // The teacher says: «The pupil is an idiot!»
Just promise you’ll never forget your punctuation again…

Congratulations! Your work (expressions and suggestions) was very good! and thanks for daring to work on this new exercice!




Réponse : RYB/let's suggest-1 de maxwell, postée le 13-11-2021 à 07:44:37 (S | E)
FINISHED
Hello!
Follow-up work:

Expression N°1:

It’s difficult to make changes on a regular basis. You may lose the things and people that you know and love. You have to adapt yourself to a new environment, have new friends, abandon your old ones and move forward into the unknown. Getting new friends isn’t always easy and I would not like to lose my schoolmates. Changing rooms is terrible for me because my room represents security. I know where my things are (books and games) and find them all easily.
I love the idea of changing but think it’s too difficult to do it… My little sister changed schools and was very frightened and felt lonely at first. She had got no friends. Changing cities is a terrible experience, but perhaps you will find your best friends and your soul mate. I don’t like change, but it sometimes brings new opportunities. 148 words.

Expression N°2:

Change very often stirs up young people's desires. Usually, when you're young, you dream of travelling, moving, learning new languages and meeting people who have a different lifestyle from yours. When you're young you can make for new horizons, you do not feel attached to a place yet, you easily break your own habits and long for new experiences. It's the time for all dreams. Then age comes along and "happy he who like Ulysse has come back to the country of his youthful years". You have a family of your own, a house, friends, a job you like and changing your life the way it goes would be heartbreaking.
Thus in a nutshell, changing when you are young is an expectation you may (should) long for. But after a certain age and having set up the life you wanted, it certainly is more uncertain and more disturbing. (about 140)

Expression N°3:

Here's my personal view of change. Iwish I could look forward to changing more often...
Change is something that I both fear and look for!
Getting out of my comfort zone is something I don't do very often. And that's a big mistake because it prevents me from keeping an open mind in every situation, from developing my creativity and my flexibility.
Indeed, changing means taking a step into the unknown and making new efforts which may not be rewarding. It can be disappointing and very stressful, whereas remaining the same is obviously comforting as you've been there before: thus, you know what's going to happen and how to handle the situation in the most effective way because you've learnt from your past errors.
Knowing it's a big mistake makes me want to change as often as I can. But there again, I have to force myself because it's not in my nature. (135 words)


Expression N°4:

Afraid of change? Not at all! Let's remember... Successive changes have shaped our personality from childhood to adulthood.
However, since our childhood, we have settled into a routine: what we've learnt to change during our youth has turned into habits. A few of them have become like protective cocoons, and we are willing to keep them, but others, especially those imposed by the constraints of life, make us feel the weight of monotony, boredom and even stress... That's why we are looking for a change so as to get rid of them. That way, we become aware of what we have to gain in this new reality without thinking of uncertainties.
However, when the consequences of our changes may cause harm to others, we may find it preferable not to change... But let's keep in mind: being willing to change is choosing to feel alive, providing us with the opportunity to give a new impetus. (149 words)



Réponse : RYB/let's suggest-1 de here4u, postée le 13-11-2021 à 11:38:03 (S | E)
Hello dears,

Thanks Maxwell for your quick and perfect follow up. Any different version will be welcome, of course, even for just a part or for one of the expressions... as you like.

I forgot to give you the solutions to the word puzzles!

A/A/E/E/I/I/O/O/B/H/H/M/P/S/T/T/= one word of 16 letters. = METATHESIOPHOBIA.
A/I/O/O/O/B/H/P/P/R/T/ = one word of 11 letters… = TROPOPHOBIA

The fear of change, or metathesiophobia, is a phobia that causes people to avoid changing their circumstances due to being extremely afraid of the unknown. It is sometimes associated with the fear of moving, also known as tropophobia.

Well worth their 10 , weren't they!



Réponse : RYB/let's suggest-1 de taiji43, postée le 13-11-2021 à 18:28:31 (S | E)
Thank you for the enlightened grammatical information from Her4U our teacher, and also ,thank you to Maxwell, who shows a great level, and a thirst for well done corrections. We do our best, and I slap myself on the wrist for typos and punctuations that I mistreat.




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