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Let's Suggest /25

Cours gratuits > Forum > Exercices du forum || En bas

[POSTER UNE NOUVELLE REPONSE] [Suivre ce sujet]


Let's Suggest /25
Message de here4u posté le 26-10-2022 à 13:45:02 (S | E | F)
Hello, dear workers!

Here is the new topic for you to write about... It was still one of the subjects you've suggested... Don't forget to send me topics you'd like to see developed! I hope you'll feel like writing about it.

You shouldn't be afraid of making mistakes... We LOVE mistakes, because they give us an opportunity to explain and correct!

Here is today's topic:

"How did you meet your partner: wife, husband or best friend?" (between 130 and 150 words) (+ or - 10%!)[I'm not expecting a confession... You may invent whatever you fancy! ]

Voici le rappel des modalités de la première partie de l'exercice :
1. Je vous demande une EXPRESSION sur le sujet proposé à m’envoyer en mp dès que possible …
2. Le plus tôt possible, cette première expression sera publiée sur le Forum, et CHACUN sera libre de « corriger » UNE FOIS ( en collant le texte et indiquant les erreurs EN BLEU, et en soulignant ce qui vous semble maladroit et que vous voudriez changer, sans donner la « correction » (forme correcte), à ce moment là, comme il se doit.) Un seul devoir à la fois sera publié pour corriger … Vous pourrez ensuite donner vos suggestions de correction (en vert!)

IMPORTANT! Pour me faciliter le transfert de vos travaux sur le site, pourriez vous m'indiquer par un ( la correction souhaitée, s'il vous plaît ?
ex: (I'm repeating for years... ou (was not only to want something,... . Pourquoi ? Simplement parce que le site ne "garde" pas les indications de couleurs ou de soulignement etc. dès que l'on copie ... Donc, je prends vos travaux, je les corrige avec les codes bleu ou souligné ou vert, mais au moment où je vous poste la correction, je perds tout mon travail ... et dois tout refaire mot à mot avec deux fenêtres ou même deux écrans pour un travail fastidieux de reprise point par point ... Merci de votre aide !

Les modalités complètes sont accessibles sur le lien suivant : Lien internet

( Je vous les rappellerai au fur et à mesure de la progression du travail )
Cet exercice sera ... ce que vous en ferez : ou ou Do your best, I trust You!
Correction en ligne le mardi 9 novembre 2022.

J'attends vos envois en mp et publierai le premier dès que possible.
MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU and with US!




Réponse : Let's Suggest /25 de maxwell, postée le 26-10-2022 à 19:51:50 (S | E)
Hello Here4U

Je viens de lire ce que tu attends de nous pour te faciliter le travail.
Pourrais-tu préciser si tu attends qu'on rajoute une parenthèse ouvrante indifféremment pour une faute (en bleu) ou pour une maladresse (soulignée) ou souhaites-tu pour te faciliter le travail qu'on adopte un code plus précis (par exemple une parenthèse ouvrante pour une maladresse et 2 parenthèses ouvrantes pour une faute ?)

Par ailleurs, attends-tu cela de nous uniquement pour la 1ère partie (liste des erreurs) ou également pour la 2e partie (suggestions) ?




Réponse : Let's Suggest /25 de here4u, postée le 26-10-2022 à 21:20:23 (S | E)
Hello Max et tout le monde !

Une ( me suffit pour tout ... à la fois pour le bleu et pour le vert ! En fait dès que quelqu'un met une couleur ou une "particularité", ça disparait à la copie ...
Le ( est très bien pour attirer mon regard ... et m'éviter de rechercher partout dans le texte ! (Vous comprenez maintenant peut-être pourquoi dans vos corrections individuelles - celles que je vous envoie - il y a ce ( que je n'efface pas toujours après avoir colorié ou souligné ... ) Merci infiniment de votre aide !



Edit: En fait, le problème n'est pas au moment de ma correction, mais au moment de sa restitution sur le site ...



Réponse : Let's Suggest /25 de here4u, postée le 29-10-2022 à 10:01:54 (S | E)
Hello dear Friends!

As the temperatures are skyrocketing in most Europe, here is another story of snow... Please, HELP!

EXPRESSION N°1: please, indicate mistakes in blue and underline what looks clumsy to you...

I really think fate brought my wife and I together...
She was a widow living with her two daughters in their family house up on a mountain. She had lost her job and couldn't pay for the rent on property already in the possession of the bank after her husband's death. As the loan officer, I had made the trip up the mountain two days before Christmas to find a solution.
But the snow was falling steadily, the roads were covered. After my visit, going a little too fast, I slid on an icy patch and had a terrible car accident at the same spot where her husband got killed... She helped me get out of my car which was wrecked; I was bleeding... She helped me get inside her house and I soon passed out on the couch....
Then, the telephone went dead, and the highway department closed the bridge because of the blizzard: she couldn't take me into town to the doctor.
When I came back to myself, I thought I was in heaven surrounded by angels.
She took care of me. The electricity went down and I could see how she managed to run the house without it. I spent two days with them. Her three-year-old daughter kept calling me "daddy".
I got to know them and I finally fell in love with her.

for your help!



Réponse : Let's Suggest /25 de here4u, postée le 31-10-2022 à 10:01:23 (S | E)
Hello dears!

Green allowed!



Réponse : Let's Suggest /25 de here4u, postée le 02-11-2022 à 10:24:54 (S | E)
Hello dears!

No green for EXPRESSION N°1? Too bad...

EXPRESSION N°2:

You wanted to know how I met my husband: here's the truth!

I was twenty,had just graduated from the teacher training school.Four difficult years of boarding, during which I had been very involved in my studies and very little in the fun.
With some classmates, we decided to go to a little country ball, famous for its musicians.I was sitting at a table and watching the couples evolve on the dance floor; when, out of nowhere, a very tall, thin and relaxed boy waved at me from a distance : with one hand, he asked me if I wanted to dance with him. It wasn't very formal, especially in those days, but I was very amused and I joined him on the dance floor.
We danced together until night, we met again the following days, made long walks along the banks of the Loire...
Sixty years later ,we are still in love; we sometimes dance, but not too quickly! 130 words

Please, indicate possible mistakes in blue and underline what you consider clumsy... to the writer and the future correctors!



Réponse : Let's Suggest /25 de amalia80, postée le 02-11-2022 à 18:07:45 (S | E)
Hello!
EXPRESSION N°1:Green allowed

I really think fate brought my wife and I together...
She was a widow living with her two daughters in their family house up on a mountain. She had lost her job and couldn't pay for the rent on property already in the possession of the bank after her husband's death. As ( a loan officer, I had made the trip up the mountain two days before Christmas to find a solution.
But the snow was falling steadily, the roads were covered. After my visit, going a little too fast, I slid on an icy patch and had a terrible car accident at the same spot where her husband got killed... She helped me get out of my car which was wrecked; I was bleeding... She helped me get inside her house and I soon passed out on the couch....
Then, the telephone went dead, and the highway department closed the bridge because of the blizzard: she couldn't take me into town to the doctor ( 's.
When I came back to myself, I thought I was in heaven surrounded by angels.
She took care of me. The electricity went ( out and I could see how she managed to run the house without it. I spent two days with them. Her three-year-old daughter kept calling me "daddy".
I got to know them and I finally fell in love with her.


It's a very romantic story , thank you !



Réponse : Let's Suggest /25 de maxwell, postée le 02-11-2022 à 20:45:41 (S | E)
Hello!
EXPRESSION N°2:

You wanted to know how I met my husband: here's the truth!

I was twenty,had just graduated from the teacher training school.(XXXFour difficult years of boarding, during which I had been very involved in my studies and very little (in the fun.
With some classmates, we decided to go to a little country ball, famous for its musicians.I was sitting at a table and watching the couples (evolve on the dance floor;(ponctuation when, out of nowhere, a very tall, thin and relaxed boy waved at me from a distance : with one hand, he asked me if I wanted to dance with him. It wasn't very formal, especially in those days, but I was very (amused and I joined him on the dance floor.
We danced together until night, we met again the following days, made long walks along the banks of the Loire...
Sixty years later ,we are still in love; we sometimes dance, but not too quickly! 130 words

(attention à la ponctuation : un espace après mais pas avant



Réponse : Let's Suggest /25 de maxwell, postée le 04-11-2022 à 20:29:30 (S | E)
Hello!
Green allowed, I guess...
EXPRESSION N°2: suggestions

You wanted to know how I met my husband: here's the truth!

I was twenty, had just graduated from the teacher training school.(I had gone through (1)four difficult years of boarding, during which I had been very involved in my studies and (had very little (fun. (2)
With some classmates, we decided to go to a little country ball, famous for its musicians. I was sitting at a table and watching the couples (move (3) on the dance floor when, out of nowhere, a very tall, thin and relaxed boy waved at me from a distance: with one hand, he asked me if I wanted to dance with him. It wasn't very formal, especially in those days, but I (had a lot of fun and I joined him on the dance floor.
We danced together until night, we met again the following days, made long walks along the banks of the Loire...
Sixty years later, we are still in love; we sometimes dance, but not too quickly! 130 words


(1) Il manquait le sujet et le verbe
(2) pas d'article devant des noms abstraits (comme fun)
(3) je me trompe peut-être mais je ne suis pas sûr que evolve soit beaucoup utilisé dans ce sens et ce contexte



Réponse : Let's Suggest /25 de amalia80, postée le 05-11-2022 à 07:18:18 (S | E)
EXPRESSION N°2:Green allowed

You wanted to know how I met my husband: here's the truth!

I was twenty, had just graduated from the teacher training school. Four difficult years of boarding, during which I had been very involved in my studies(but didn't have much fun!
With some classmates, we decided to go to a little country ball, famous for its musicians. I was sitting at a table and watching the couples (move on the dance floor; when, out of nowhere, a very tall, thin and relaxed boy waved at me from a distance : with one hand, he asked me if I wanted to dance with him. It wasn't very formal, especially in those days, but I(found this funny and I joined him on the dance floor.
We danced together until night, we met again the following days, made long walks along the banks of the Loire...
Sixty years later, we are still in love; we sometimes dance, but not too quickly! 130 words

Four years.... Je le laisse ainsi car,pour moi, c'est un effet de style.Notre chère Here4u donnera son avis



Réponse : Let's Suggest /25 de here4u, postée le 06-11-2022 à 10:29:06 (S | E)
Hello dears!

Time for a new EXPRESSION!

EXPRESSION N°3! please, indicate possible mistakes in blue and underline what looks clumsy... (green allowed from the 8th! )

I met my husband in Grèce.
During the transfer from airport to Athènes, I noticed a young man near me on the bus, but he was reading a magazine and didn't look at me. Arrived at my hotel, after a quick shower and change the dress as it was lunch time, I get down to the restaurant which was crowded. A four seat table was occupied by only one person, when I got close, I recognised the young man I had seen on the bus. I asked him if I may seat down at his table.
-Oh yes, the pleasure is for me he answered. As he well known Athènes, he offered to guide me through the town.
When some time later I told him that I saw him in the bus, He confessed that he had already spotted me at the Paris airport. As I couldn't believe it, he descripted how I was dressed. 158 MOTS


Thanks for your help!



Réponse : Let's Suggest /25 de amalia80, postée le 06-11-2022 à 12:24:55 (S | E)
Hello!
EXPRESSION N°3! please, indicate possible mistakes in blue and underline what looks clumsy... (green allowed from the 8th! )

I met my husband in Grèce .
During the transfer from x airport to Athènes , I noticed a young man near me on the bus, but he was reading a magazine and didn't look at me. Arrived at my hotel, after a quick shower and change the dress as it was lunch time, I get down to the restaurant which was crowded. A four x seat table was occupied by only one person, when I got close, I recognised the young man I had seen on the bus. I asked him if I may seat down at his table.
-Oh yes, the pleasure is for me he answered. As he well known Athènes , he offered to guide me through the town.
When some time later I told him that I saw him in the bus, He confessed that he had already spotted me at the Paris airport . As I couldn't believe it, he descripted how I was dressed. 158 MOTS



Réponse : Let's Suggest /25 de maxwell, postée le 06-11-2022 à 20:16:52 (S | E)
Hello!

EXPRESSION N°3! please, indicate possible mistakes in blue and underline what looks clumsy...


I met my husband in (Grèce.
During the transfer from (XXX airport to Athènes, I noticed a young man near me on the bus, but he was reading a magazine and didn't look at me. Arrived at my hotel, after a quick shower and (change the dress as it was lunch time, I (get down to the restaurant which was crowded. A four seat table was occupied by only one person(, ponctuation) when I got close, I recognised the young man I had seen on the bus. I asked him if I may (seat down at his table.
-Oh yes, the pleasure is for me (ponctuation) he answered. As he (well known Athènes, he offered to guide me through the town.
When some time later I told him that I (saw him (in the bus, (He confessed that he had already spotted me at the Paris airport. As I couldn't believe it, he (descripted how I was dressed. 158 MOTS


On aurait aimé connaître la suite



Réponse : Let's Suggest /25 de amalia80, postée le 08-11-2022 à 07:06:31 (S | E)
Hello!
Expression No 3; green allowed
I met my husband in (Greece
During the transfer from (the airport to Athens , I noticed a young man near me on the bus, but he was reading a magazine and didn't look at me. Arrived at my hotel, after a quick shower and (a change of clothes as it was lunch time, I ( went down to the restaurant which was crowded. A four seat- table was occupied by only one person, when I got close, I recognised the young man I had seen on the bus. I asked him if I could sit at his table.
-Oh yes, the pleasure is for me, he answered. As he (knew Athens well he offered to guide me through the town.
When some time later I told him that I ( had seenhim (on the bus, he confessed that he had already spotted me at the airport in Paris. As I couldn't believe it, he (described how I was dressed. 158 MO



Réponse : Let's Suggest /25 de maxwell, postée le 08-11-2022 à 20:10:41 (S | E)
Hello!

EXPRESSION N°3: suggestions

I met my husband in (Greece.
During the transfer from (the airport to (Athens, I noticed a young man near me on the bus; but he was reading a magazine and didn't look at me. Arrived at my hotel, after a quick shower and (a change (of dress, as it was lunch time, I (went (1) down to the restaurant which was crowded. A four seat table was occupied by only one person; when I got close, I recognised the young man I had seen on the bus. I asked him if I may (sit down at his table.
"Oh yes, the pleasure is (mine" he answered. As he (knew Athens well (2), he offered to guide me through the town.
When some time later I told him that I (had seen (3) him (on the bus, (he confessed that he had already spotted me at the Paris airport. As I couldn't believe it, he (described how I (had been dressed. 158 MOTS

(1) il fallait du passé obligatoirement. J'ai hésité à laisser got down to car on l'utilise aussi pour dire "se mettre à " ?
(2) well-known est un adjectif et signifie : bien connu
(3) il y a antériorité de l'action "see him on the bus" par rapport à l'action "told him", d'où la nécessité du plu perfect



Réponse : Let's Suggest /25 de here4u, postée le 09-11-2022 à 22:20:27 (S | E)
Hello, dear writers!

Peu de fautes, cette fois encore ... Bravo !

EXPRESSION N°1: initial text with my indications:

I really think fate brought my wife and I together...
She was a widow living with her two daughters in their family house up on a mountain. She had lost her job and couldn't pay for the rent on property already in the possession of the bank after her husband's death. As the loan officer, I had made the trip up the mountain two days before Christmas (place du C de temps ?) to find a solution.
But the snow was falling steadily, the roads were covered. After my visit, going a little too fast, I slid on an icy patch and had a terrible car accident at the same spot where her husband XXX got killed... She helped me get out of my car which was wrecked; I was bleeding... She helped me get inside her house and I soon passed out on the couch...
Then, the telephone went dead, and the highway department closed the bridge because of the blizzard: she couldn't take me into town to the doctor.
When I came back to myself, I thought I was in heaven surrounded by angels.
She took care of me. The electricity went down and I could see how she managed to run the house without it. I spent two days with them. Her three-year-old daughter kept calling me "daddy".
I got to know them and I finally fell in love with her. TTB.

EXPRESSION N°1: suggestions 1:

I really think fate brought my wife and I together...
She was a widow living with her two daughters in their family house up on a mountain. She had lost her job and couldn't pay for the rent on property already in the possession of the bank after her husband's death. As (a loan officer, I had made the trip up the mountain two days before Christmas to find a solution.
But the snow was falling steadily, the roads were covered. After my visit, going a little too fast, I slid on an icy patch and had a terrible car accident at the same spot where her husband got killed... She helped me get out of my car which was wrecked; I was bleeding... She helped me get inside her house and I soon passed out on the couch...
Then, the telephone went dead, and the highway department closed the bridge because of the blizzard: she couldn't take me into town to the doctor('s.
When I came back to myself, I thought I was in heaven surrounded by angels.
She took care of me. The electricity went (out and I could see how she managed to run the house without it. I spent two days with them. Her three-year-old daughter kept calling me "daddy".
I got to know them and I finally fell in love with her.

It's a very romantic story , thank you ! TBonne correction.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

EXPRESSION N°2: initial text:

You wanted to know how I met my husband: here's the truth!
I was twenty(,had just graduated from the teacher training school.xFour difficult years of boarding XXXXXX, during which I had been very involved in my studies and very little (in the fun.
With some classmates, we decided to go to a little country ball, famous for its musicians.I was sitting at a table and watching the couples evolve on the dance floor; when, out of nowhere, a very tall, thin and relaxed boy waved at me from a distance : with one hand, he asked me if I wanted to dance with him. It wasn't very formal (it was even quite « rude » !), especially in those days, but I was very amused and I joined him on the dance floor.
We danced together until night, we met again the following days, made long walks along the banks of the Loire...
Sixty years later ,we are still in love; we sometimes dance, but not too quickly! 130 words
Attention aux espaces après la ponctuation. Très Bien

EXPRESSION N°2: indications 1

You wanted to know how I met my husband: here's the truth!

I was twenty,had just graduated from the teacher training school.(XXX Four difficult years of boarding, during which I had been very involved in my studies and very little (in the fun.
With some classmates, we decided to go to a little country ball, famous for its musicians.I was sitting at a table and watching the couples (evolve on the dance floor;(ponctuation when, out of nowhere, a very tall, thin and relaxed boy waved at me from a distance : with one hand, he asked me if I wanted to dance with him. It wasn't very formal, especially in those days, but I was very (amused and I joined him on the dance floor.
We danced together until night, we met again the following days, made long walks along the banks of the Loire...
Sixty years later, we are still in love; we sometimes dance, but not too quickly! 130 words

(attention à la ponctuation : un espace après mais pas avant) Bonne correction.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

EXPRESSION N°2: suggestions 1

You wanted to know how I met my husband: here's the truth!

I was twenty, had just graduated from the teacher training school.(I had gone through (1)four difficult years of boarding [XXXXXX], during which I had been very involved in my studies and (had very little (fun. (2)[Bien ;]
With some classmates, we decided to go to a little country ball, famous for its musicians. I was sitting at a table and watching the couples (move (3) on the dance floor when, out of nowhere, a very tall, thin and relaxed boy waved at me from a distance: with one hand, he asked me if I wanted to dance with him. It wasn't very formal, especially in those days, but I (had a lot of fun *and I joined him on the dance floor.
We danced together until night, we met again the following days,[ made long walks along the banks of the Loire...
Sixty years later, we are still in love; we sometimes dance, [but not too quickly! 130 words


(1) Il manquait le sujet et le verbe
(2) pas d'article devant des noms abstraits (comme fun)
(3) je me trompe peut-être mais je ne suis pas sûr que evolve soit beaucoup utilisé dans ce sens et ce contexte[ C’est vrai, mais move n’est pas vraiment mieux !
-«amused», un peu désuet, ne me gênait pas vraiment … Le geste était incongru … mais je n’aime pas la correction suggérée ! You can say «I had a lot of fun» AFTER dancing, not before! A revoir !


EXPRESSION N°2: suggestions 2:

You wanted to know how I met my husband: here's the truth!

I was twenty, had just graduated from the teacher training school. Four difficult years of boarding XXXX, during which I had been very involved in my studies(but didn't have much fun! B [Bien corrigé !]
With some classmates, we decided to go to a little country ball, famous for its musicians. I was sitting at a table and watching the couples [(move on the dance floor; when, out of nowhere, a very tall, thin and relaxed boy waved at me from a distance : with one hand, he asked me if I wanted to dance with him. It wasn't very formal, especially in those days, but I(found this funny B and I joined him on the dance floor.
We danced together until night, we met again the following days, [made long walks along the banks of the Loire...
Sixty years later, we are still in love; we sometimes dance, but [not too quickly! 130 words

Four years... Je le laisse ainsi car, pour moi, c'est un effet de style. Notre chère Here4u donnera son avis OK ! mais il manque quelque chose ! ponctuation ? ( mettre : après school, par exemple ... Cela restera assez neutre et conservera l'effet de style ! )Une bonne correction !

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

EXPRESSION N°3: initial text

I met my husband in (Grèce.
During the transfer from XXX airport to (Athènes, I noticed a young man near me on the bus, but he was reading a magazine and didn't look at me. (Arrived?) at my hotel, after a quick shower and (change the dress as it was lunch time, I (get down to the restaurant which was crowded. A four seat table was occupied by only one person(, when I got close, I recognised the young man I had seen on the bus. I asked him if I may seat down at his table.
-Oh yes, (the pleasure is for me) he answered. As he (well known(ordre des mots et construction !) (Athènes, he offered to guide me through the town.
When some time later I told him that I (saw him in the bus, He confessed that he had already spotted me at the Paris airport. As I couldn't believe it, he (descripted how I was dressed. 158 MOTS


EXPRESSION N°3! indications N°1

I met my husband in (Grèce .
During the transfer from x airport to (Athènes , I noticed a young man near me on the bus, but he was reading a magazine and didn't look at me. Arrived at my hotel, after a quick shower and (change the dress as it was lunch time, I (get down to the restaurant which was crowded. A (four x seat table was occupied by only one person, when I got close, I recognised the young man I had seen on the bus. I asked him if I (may seat down at his table.
-Oh yes, the pleasure is for me he answered. As he (well known Athènes , he offered to guide me through the town.
When some time later I told him that (I saw him in the bus, He confessed that he had already spotted me (at the Paris airport . As I couldn't believe it, he (descripted how I was dressed. 158 MOTS OK

EXPRESSION N°3! indications N°2

I met my husband in (Grèce.
During the transfer from (XXX airport to Athènes, I noticed a young man near me on the bus, but he was reading a magazine and didn't look at me. Arrived at my hotel, after a quick shower and (change the dress as it was lunch time, I (get down to the restaurant which was crowded. A four seat table was occupied by only one person(, ponctuation) when I got close, I recognised the young man I had seen on the bus. I asked him if I may (seat down at his table.
-Oh yes, the pleasure is for me (ponctuation) he answered. As he (well known Athènes, he offered to guide me through the town.
When some time later I told him that I (saw him (in the bus, (He confessed that he had already spotted me at the Paris airport. As I couldn't believe it, he (descripted how I was dressed. 158 MOTS
On aurait aimé connaître la suite for sure!


EXPRESSION N° 3: suggestions 1:

I met my husband in (Greece
During the transfer from (the airport to Athens , I noticed a young man near me on the bus, but he was reading a magazine and didn't look at me. Arrived at my hotel, after a quick shower and (a change of clothes as it was lunch time, I ( went down to the restaurant which was crowded. A four seat-table was occupied by only one person, when I got close, I recognised the young man I had seen on the bus. I asked him if I could sit at his table. B
-Oh yes, the pleasure is for me, he answered. As he (knew Athens well he offered to guide me through the town.
When some time later I told him that I (had seen him (on the bus, he confessed that he had already spotted me at the airport in Paris. As I couldn't believe it, he (described how I was dressed. 158 words TB correction.

EXPRESSION N°3: suggestions 2:

I met my husband in (Greece.
During the transfer from (the airport to (Athens, I noticed a young man near me on the bus; but he was reading a magazine and didn't look at me. Arrived at my hotel, after a quick shower and (a change (of dress, as it was lunch time, I (went (1) down to the restaurant which was crowded. A four seat table was occupied by only one person; when I got close, I recognised the young man I had seen on the bus. I asked him if I may (sit down at his table.
"Oh yes, the pleasure is (mine"(oui, ou mieux ...?) he answered. As he (knew Athens well (2), he offered to guide me through the town.
When some time later I told him that I (had seen (3) him (on the bus, (he confessed that he had already spotted me at the Paris airport. As I couldn't believe it, he (described how I (had been dressed.XXXX 158 MOTS

(1) il fallait du passé obligatoirement. J'ai hésité à laisser got down to car on l'utilise aussi pour dire "se mettre à " ?[Pour moi, les deux sont acceptables ...]
(2) well-known est un adjectif et signifie : bien connu B
(3) il y a antériorité de l'action "see him on the bus" par rapport à l'action "told him", d'où la nécessité du plu perfect/ past perfect. TB

Peu de fautes (attention aux temps ! ) De bonnes corrections ! Bravo !

Un très bon travail dans les trois EXPRESSIONS !
Vous pouvez bien sûr, si vous le souhaitez, reprendre ce qui vous gêne encore dans un Follow Up Work qui sera toujours le bienvenu !
Je vous félicite pour ce très bon travail personnel !



Réponse : Let's Suggest /25 de maxwell, postée le 10-11-2022 à 20:24:50 (S | E)
Hello!

EXPRESSION N°1: final suggestions:

I really think fate brought my wife and I together...
She was a lonely widow living with her two daughters in their family house up on a mountain. After her husband's death, she couldn't keep paying off the loan and the bank -in which I work- had repossessed her house. She had been allowed to stay in her house provided she paid for a rent. However, she had lost her job and couldn't pay any longer. Two days before Christmas, as the loan officer of the bank, I had made the trip up the mountain to find a solution.
But the snow was falling steadily... Soon, the roads got covered with snow. After my visit, going a little too fast, I slid on an icy patch and had a terrible car accident at the same spot where (1) her husband had got killed... She helped me get out of my car which was wrecked; I was bleeding... She helped me get inside her house and I soon passed out on the couch...
Later, the telephone went dead, and the highway department closed the bridge because of the blizzard: she couldn't take me into town to the doctor's.
When I came to consciousness, I thought I was in heaven surrounded by angels.
She took care of me. The electricity went out and I could see how she managed to run the house without it. I spent two days with them. Her three-year-old daughter kept calling me "daddy".
I got to know them and I finally fell in love with her.

(1) Je n'ai pas compris ce qui ne convient pas ici. Fallait-il mettre : at the very spot where ?

EXPRESSION N°2: final suggestions

You wanted to know how I met my husband: here's the truth!

I was twenty, had just graduated from the teacher training school.I had gone through four difficult years of boarding school, during which I had been very involved in my studies and had very little fun.
With some classmates, we decided to go to a little country ball, famous for its musicians. I was sitting at a table and watching the couples spin on the dance floor when, out of nowhere, a very tall, slender and relaxed boy waved at me from a distance: with one hand, he asked me if I wanted to dance with him. It wasn't very formal, especially in those days, but I found that funny and I joined him on the dance floor.
We danced together until night, we met again the following days, took long walks along the banks of the Loire...
Sixty years later, we are still in love; we sometimes dance, but we don't spin too fast! 130 words


EXPRESSION N°3: final suggestions:

I met my husband in Greece.
During the transfer from the airport to Athens, I noticed a young man near me on the bus; but he was reading a magazine and didn't look at me. When I got to my hotel, I had a quick shower and changed my dress; as it was lunch time, I went down to the restaurant which was crowded. A four-seater dining table was occupied by only one person; when I got close, I recognised the young man I had seen on the bus. I asked him if I could sit down at his table.
"Oh yes, the pleasure is all mine" he answered. As he knew Athens well, he offered to guide me through the town.
When some time later I told him that I had seen him on the bus, he confessed that he had already spotted me at the Paris airport. As I couldn't believe it, he described the way I had been dressed in. 158 MOTS



Réponse : Let's Suggest /25 de here4u, postée le 20-11-2022 à 12:04:26 (S | E)
Hi Maxwell! Comme promis, je commence ...

Il se peut que je sois obligée d'arrêter brusquement ! (mais je reviendrai ! )

Hello!

EXPRESSION N°1: final suggestions:

I really think fate brought my wife and I together...
She was a lonely widow living with her two daughters in their family house up on a mountain. After her husband's death, she couldn't keep paying off the loan and the bank -in which I work- had repossessed her house. She had been allowed to stay in her house provided she paid for a rent. However, she had lost her job and couldn't pay any longer. Two days before Christmas, as the loan officer of the bank, I had made the trip up the mountain to find a solution. [OK! That's much clearer now!]
But the snow was falling steadily... Soon, the roads got covered with snow. After my visit, going a little too fast, I slid on an icy patch and had a terrible car accident at the same spot where (1) her husband had got killed... She helped me get out of my car which was wrecked; I was bleeding... She helped me get inside her house and I soon passed out on the couch...
Later, the telephone went dead, and the highway department closed the bridge because of the blizzard: she couldn't take me into town to the doctor's.
When I came to consciousness, I thought I was in heaven surrounded by angels.
She took care of me. The electricity went out and I could see how she managed to run the house without it. I spent two days with them. Her three-year-old daughter kept calling me "daddy".
I got to know them and I finally fell in love with her.

(1) Je n'ai pas compris ce qui ne convient pas ici. Fallait-il mettre : at the very spot where ? OK! Je ne sais pourquoi, dès que je dis "the same X/ not the same X", je me sens obligée de mettre "as" ... Donc, je crois que j'aurais dit autrement, mais ce que tu dis là est clair et correct !)

EXPRESSION N°2: final suggestions

You wanted to know how I met my husband: here's the truth!

I was twenty, had just graduated from the teacher training school. I had gone through four difficult years of boarding school, during which I had been very involved in my studies and had very little fun.B
With some classmates, we decided to go to a little country ball, famous for its musicians. I was sitting at a table and watching the couples spin on the dance floor when, out of nowhere, a very tall, slender and relaxed boy waved at me from a distance:TTB with one hand, he asked me if I wanted to dance with him. It wasn't very formal, especially in those days, but I found that funny and I joined him on the dance floor.
We danced together until night*, we met again the following days, took long walks along the banks of the Loire...
Sixty years later, we are still in love; we sometimes dance, but we don't spin too fast! 130 words
[ * danced away till nightfall . Montre qu'ils ont dansé longtemps ... mais n'y ont pas passé la nuit ("danced the night away" que j'aime bien ! ]

EXPRESSION N°3: final suggestions:

I met my husband in Greece.
During the transfer from the airport to Athens, I noticed a young man near me/ sitting next to me? on the bus; but he was reading a magazine and didn't look at me. When I got to my hotel, I had a quick shower and changed my dress (changed (dresses); as it was lunch time, I went down to the restaurant which was crowded. A four-seater dining table was occupied by only one person; when I got close, I recognised the young man I had seen on the bus. I asked him if I could sit down at his table.
"Oh yes, the pleasure is all mine"* he answered. As he knew Athens well, he offered to guide me through the town.
When some time later I told him that I had seen him on the bus, he confessed that he had already spotted me at the Paris airport. As I couldn't believe it, he described the way I had been dressed in. 158 MOTS

"My pleasure!"

Wow! Just in time... for the good suggestions and corrections!




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