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Host family / Australia

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Host family / Australia
Message de roty posté le 18-08-2017 à 13:59:07 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Je souhaiterais avoir la correction de ma candidature pour aller en Australie dans une famille d’accueil vers le mois de septembre.
De plus, j’aimerais avoir un avis sur ma candidature et savoir s'il manque des éléments.
Merci d'avance pour votre aide.

Dear Sir or Madam,
My name is *****, I'm 19 and I live in a small village near to ***** in France.
I am in research for a host family living in Australia to learn the local cultures and of course the language.
I have just completed my studies to the high school after have completed my Bachelor’s degree.
It seemed to be a natural fit combine my passion for the animals with the people who need it.
For the last two years, I then held various casual jobs during school holidays. For example, I worked two weeks in « La Française des Jeux » ( The French lottery operator ), two weeks to xxx ( French Supermarket). Since these holidays, I have had the opportunity to work in xxx. I working in the laying of pavers.
First of all, I really think that this travel will be very useful for my future life, it will help me to understand new things in my life, new ways to understand it and to learn English.
I've never been in Australia before but I always dream to.
About me, I do a lot of sport, for example, the running, the football, the tennis, the Athletics, the handball and the judo. I like listening to music. I love the cinema and series. I really like nature with the fisheries and animals.
Gardening and storage is an important part of my house with my parents because the house and the garden are very great. At home, I practice the hand weeding, lawn mowing and tree size.
I am a young man full of joy of life and overflowing with energy.
I'm curious, volunteer, greedy, adventurer and hardworker.
The during of my stay is one year minimum.
Yours faithfully,
Cordialy

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 18-08-2017 19:04


Réponse : Host family / Australia de sousou18, postée le 21-08-2017 à 17:47:18 (S | E)
bonjour,
voici quelques modifications:
"in the research"
"i am working"
"the series"
"the joy"
"daring"
"hard worker"
"cordially"
j'espère vous aider.
cordialement.



Réponse : Host family / Australia de here4u, postée le 21-08-2017 à 22:43:36 (S | E)
Hello!

Dear Sir or Madam,
My name is *****, I'm 19 and I live in a small village near to ***** in France.
I am in research for a host family living in Australia to learn the local cultures and of course the language.
I have just completed my studies to the high school after have completed = passing my Bachelor’= une licence! )s degree.
It seemed to be a natural fit TO ? combine my passion for the animals with the people who need it(pas clair du tout!).
For the last two years, I then held various casual jobs during school holidays. For example, I worked two weeks in « La Française des Jeux » ( The French lottery operator ), two weeks to xxx ( A French Supermarket). Since these holidays, I have had the opportunity to work in xxx. I working in the laying of pavers.
First of all, I really think that this travel will be very useful for my future life, it will help me to understand new things in my life, new ways to understand it and to learn English.
I've never been in Australia before but I always dream totemps à revoir!).
About me, I do a lot of sport, for example, the running, the football, the tennis, the Athletics, the handball and the judo. I like listening to music. I love the cinema and series. I really like nature with the fisheries and animals.
Gardening and storage is an important part of my house with my parents because the house and the garden are very great. At home, I practice the hand weeding, lawn mowing and tree size.
I am a young man full of joy of life and overflowing with energy.
I'm curious, volunteer, greedy, adventurer and hardworker.(don't mix adjectives and nouns...)
The during of my stay is one year minimum.
Yours faithfully,
Cordialy

You shouldn't forget to insist on what you can bring them...





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