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Tâche finale/Hawaii

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Tâche finale/Hawaii
Message de bbj17 posté le 01-01-2018 à 18:09:10 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je suis en classe de première s. J'ai une tâche final à réaliser sur Hawaii:
Create a short magazine (4 pages) about Hawaii. Use the documents you studied in this Unit. You must talk about tourism, the history of hawaii and the political situation. Don't forget to include photos, grahs ect.
Pouvez-vous regarder s'il n'y a pas de faute; merci.

In the 1850s Kamehameha the Third and in 1941 when Pearl Harbour had been attacked by the Japanese ; the statehood was already considered. From 1953 to 1957, Hawaii’s Governor had also pushed for statehood.
In March 1959, the US House of Representatives voted in favour of statehood. A referendum was held in Hawaii in June to ask for the people’s opinion. It was a landslide for the “yes”. Then, on August 21st of that year, President Eisenhower signed the Proclamation and Hawaii officially became the last US state. Statehood was not a new consideration in 1959.Finally, Hawaii became the 50th US state in 1959.
Lili'uokalani also kwon as Lili is importante in the story of Hawaii because she was the last queen of Fawaii. She is the queen of Hawaii for two years. She aimed to subtitute the old constitution for a new one because she wanted to be a real queen not jut a figurehead.
She wasn't succesful in her aim because American soldiers and marchants conspired agains her to take her away from the thron. They wanted to annex Hawaii'slands because they were worth a lot of money.

Hula is a type of dance acompagny of dance wich was developed in the Hawaiian islands by polynesian.
The aloha festival is a cultural celebration in the state of Hawaii in the united states wich is compose of 4 festivals events during the month of September.
Hawaii have a lot of national symobols like 'auana ( a musical instrument), Néné which is a bird, hula dancing and hawaii flag.
Humuhumunukunukuapua'a It is a fish : one of natianol symbols.
In Hawaii, there are a lot of volcano like pele which is the goddess of volcano.

Hawaii is compose of 4 counties (Oahu, Maui ( Molokai et Lanai), l'île d'Hawai'i et Kauai. The two ammerican parties are reprensent in hawaii : republican party and democratic party but there is also a independence calle : Hawaii Independence Party.
Distribution of lands
In Hawaii, there are always the probleme of the répartition of lands so in 1921, DHHL (Department of Hawaiian Home Lands) is loaded of the répartition of lands forthe Natives Hawaiians but there were many dificult.
The justice Has cancelled some attribution further to scandal. There are often assigned bad lands to this Hawaiians, so today, only 20 % are assigned.
Army
Hawaii is the most militarized american state, The army is the second Economic sector. This presence is poorly supported by the Pupolation.
Independence
The natives Hawaiians are dismiss hence the creation of Independence movement because Natives Hawaiians wants their own gouvernement.

Tourism
The tourism is the first means, It represente 40 % of PIB and reported 15.6 billion to the state of Hawaii in 2016.
Current issue
In Hawaii the life is expensive, so Natives Hawaiians leave the island to go to US but the tourism helpe to the richness of Hawaii.
Main resource
The sugar industry and the production of Annas in Hawaii is down so New culture such as coffee, macadamia nuts and exotic fruits, but they represent only 2% of the PIB.
Naupaka is the most commun beach plants. Grow up to feet tall and six to 15 feet wide. It is a legend and also pele sisters.

Merci d'avance.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 01-01-2018 22:48


Réponse : Tâche finale/Hawaii de gerondif, postée le 02-01-2018 à 18:45:09 (S | E)
Bonjour,
ce texte comporte pas mal d'erreurs d'orthographe et d'organisation, on dirait que vous avez traduit en force des extraits d'une documentation française prise un peu en vrac, on ne voit pas la cohérence entre les paragraphes.
erreurs en bleu, suggestions en vert.
In the 1850s Kamehameha the Third and in 1941 when Pearl Harbour had been attacked by the Japanese (bon, là, il n'y a pas de proposition principale); the statehood was already considered. From 1953 to 1957, Hawaii’s Governor had also pushed for statehood.
In March 1959, the US House of Representatives voted in favour of statehood. A referendum was held in Hawaii in June to ask for the people’s opinion. It was a landslide for the “yes”. Then, on August 21st of that year, President Eisenhower signed the Proclamation and Hawaii officially became the last US state. Statehood was not a new consideration in 1959.Finally, Hawaii became the 50th US state in 1959.

Lili'uokalani also kwon(orthographe) as Lili is importante (orth)in the story of Hawaii because she was the last queen of Fawaii. She is(temps) the queen of Hawaii for two years. She aimed to subtitute the old constitution for a new one because she wanted to be a real queen not just a figurehead.
She wasn't succesful in her aim because American soldiers and marchants conspired agains her to take her away from the thron. They wanted to annex Hawaii'slands because they were worth a lot of money.

Hula is a type of dance acompagny of dance wich was developed in the Hawaiian islands by polynesian.
The aloha festival is a cultural celebration in the state of Hawaii in the united states wich is compose of 4 festivals events during the month of September.
Hawaii have(singulier) a lot of national symobols like 'auana ( a musical instrument), Néné which is a bird, hula dancing and hawaii flag.
Humuhumunukunukuapua'a It is a fish : one of natianol symbols.
In Hawaii, there are a lot of volcano(pluriel) like pele which is the goddess of volcano.

Hawaii is compose of 4 counties (Oahu, Maui ( Molokai et Lanai), l'île d'Hawai'i et Kauai(c'est resté en français , erreur de traducteur automatique ??). The two ammerican parties are reprensent in hawaii : The republican party and democratic party but there is also a independence calle : Hawaii Independence Party.
Distribution of lands (moi, je connaissais les répunlicains et les démocrates, distribution of lands,je me demande ce que c'est comme parti !)
In Hawaii, there are always(still, toujours au sens de encore) the probleme of the partition of lands so in 1921, DHHL (Department of Hawaiian Home Lands) is loaded of(chargé de traduit mot-à-mot, to load, c'est charger un camion...) the partition of lands for the Natives(invariable quand adjectival) Hawaiians but there were many dificult(il faut le nom, pas l'adjectif).
The justice Has cancelled some attribution(pluriel) further to scandal(pluriel). There are often assigned bad lands to this Hawaiians, so today, only 20 % are assigned.
Army
(n'a pas de sens)
Hawaii is the most militarized american(majuscule) state, The army is the second Economic sector. This presence is poorly supported by the Pupolation.
Independence
The natives Hawaiians are dismiss(participe passé, mauvais choix de verbe) hence the creation of Independence movement because Natives Hawaiians wants their own gouvernement.

Tourism
The tourism is the first means(le premier moyen de quoi ??), It represente 40 % of PIB(ces initiales n'auront pas de sens en anglais, par exemple un RIB est en anglais a rubber inflatable boat, un zodiac...) reported(c'est rapporter une conversation, pas rapporter de l'argent) 15.6 billion to the state of Hawaii in 2016.
Current issue(pluriel)
In Hawaii the(à ôter) life is expensive, so Natives Hawaiians leave the island to go to the US (il est grand temps d'apprendre que les pays pluriel prennent un the : The USA, The United arab Emirates, the Netherlands...) but the tourism helpe(orth) to the richness of Hawaii.
Main resource(pluriel)
The sugar industry and the production of Annas(c'était quoi ??? ananas mal écrit et pas identifié par le traducteur automatique?) in Hawaii is down so New culture(pluriel, mot mal choisi) such as coffee, macadamia nuts and exotic fruits, but they represent only 2% of the PIB.
Naupaka is the most commun beach plants. Grow(participe présent) up to (manque la taille en chiffre) feet tall and six to 15 feet wide. It is a legend and also pele sisters (pas trop de sens, ce bout de phrase).



Réponse : Tâche finale/Hawaii de bbj17, postée le 04-01-2018 à 13:11:58 (S | E)
Bonjour,
j'espère que j'ai corrigé toutes mes fautes. Le but du devoir étant de faire un magazine, les mots en majuscule sont des titres et des sous-titres et aident à la structuration du devoir. Je suis désolé si mon devoir ressemble à une traduction mot à mot mais les recherche étaient sur des documents en français.

HISTORY
The statehood was already considered in the 1850s Kamehameha the Third and in 1941 when Pearl Harbour had been attacked by the Japanese. From 1953 to 1957, Hawaii’s Governor had also pushed for statehood.
In March 1959, the US House of Representatives voted in favour of statehood. A referendum was held in Hawaii in June to ask for the people’s opinion. It was a landslide for the “yes”. Then, on August 21st of that year, President Eisenhower signed the Proclamation and Hawaii officially became the last US state. Statehood was not a new consideration in 1959.Finally, Hawaii became the 50th US state in 1959.
Lili'uokalani also know as Lili is important in the story of Hawaii because she was the last queen of Hawaii. She was the queen of Hawaii for two years. She aimed to subtitute the old constitution for a new one because she wanted to be a real queen not just a figurehead.
She wasn't succesful in her aim because American soldiers and merchants conspired against her to take her away from the throne. They wanted to annex Hawaii'slands because they were worth a lot of money.

TOURISM
Hula is a type of dance accompanied of dance which was developed in the Hawaiian islands by Polynesian.
The aloha festival is a cultural celebration in the state of Hawaii in the united states Which is form of 4 festivals events during the month of September.
Hawaii has a lot of national symbols like 'auana ( a musical instrument), Néné which is a bird, hula dancing and hawaii flag.
Humuhumunukunukuapua'a It is a fish : one of national symbols.
In Hawaii, there are a lot of volcanoes like pele which is the goddess of volcano.
Naupaka is the most common beach plant. It grows to widths of 15 feet or more.
Hawaii is form of 4 counties (Oahu, Maui ( Molokai et Lanai), the island of Hawaii and Kauai. The two American parties are represent in hawaii : The republican party and democratic party but there is also a independence calle : Hawaii Independence Party.

DISTRIBUTION OF LANDS
In Hawaii, there are still the problem of the repartition of lands so in 1921, DHHL (Department of Hawaiian Home Lands) must do the repartition of lands for the Native Hawaiians but there were many difficulty.
The justice has cancelled some remit further to scandals. There are often assigned bad lands to this Hawaiians, so today, only 20 % are assigned.

ARMY
Hawaii is the most militarized American state, the army is the second Economic sector. This presence is poorly supported by the population.

INDEPENDENCE
The native Hawaiians are released hence the creation of Independence movement because Natives Hawaiians want their own government.

ECONOMY
TOURISM
Tourism is the first esources, It represent 40 % of GDP made 15.6 billion to the state of Hawaii in 2016.

CURRENT ISSUES
In Hawaii life is expensive, so Native Hawaiians leave the island to go to The US but the tourism help to the richness of Hawaii.

MAIN RESOURCES
The sugar industry and the production of pineapple in Hawaii is down so New cultivation such as coffee, macadamia nuts and exotic fruit, but they represent only 2% of the GDP.

Merci par avance



Réponse : Tâche finale/Hawaii de gerondif, postée le 06-01-2018 à 00:02:12 (S | E)
Bonsoir
j'espère que j'ai corrigé toutes mes fautes.(Non, pas encore) Le but du devoir étant de faire un magazine, les mots en majuscule sont des titres et des sous-titres et aident à la structuration du devoir. Je suis désolé si mon devoir ressemble à une traduction mot à mot mais les recherches étaient sur des documents en français.

HISTORY
Je trouve bizarre de commencer par ça, imaginez que je doive traiter de la Corse et que je commence directement par parler de leurs vélléités d'indépendance, ça paraîtrait incongru)
The statehood was already considered in the 1850s Kamehameha the Third (Que vient faire ce nom propre ici? Le passage à l'état était déjà envisagé dans les années cinquanta Kamehamaha 3 n'a pas de sens. Envisagé par K ou à l'époque de K)and in 1941 when Pearl Harbour had been(plutôt was) attacked by the Japanese. From 1953 to 1957, Hawaii’s Governor had also pushed for statehood.
In March 1959, the US House of Representatives voted in favour of statehood. A referendum was held in Hawaii in June to ask for the people’s opinion. It was a landslide for the “yes”. Then, on August 21st of that year, President Eisenhower signed the Proclamation and Hawaii officially became the last US state. Statehood was not a new consideration in 1959.Finally, Hawaii became the 50th US state in 1959.(vous vous répétez un peu ici)
Lili'uokalani also know(participe passé) as Lili is important in the story of Hawaii because she was the last queen of Hawaii. She was the queen of Hawaii for two years. She aimed to subtitute the old constitution for a new one because she wanted to be a real queen not just a figurehead.
She wasn't successful in her aim because American soldiers and merchants conspired against her to take her away from the throne. They wanted to annex Hawaii's islands because they were worth a lot of money.

TOURISM
Hula is a type of dance accompanied of dance(n'a pas de sens: une danse accompagnée d'une danse) which was developed in the Hawaiian islands by Polynesian(est un adjectif, soit metter un s, soit rajouter people).
The aloha festival is a cultural celebration in the state of Hawaii in the united states(majuscule) Which is form(participe passé. compose irait mieux) of 4 festivals(un mot adjectival ne prend pas le pluriel) events during the month of September.
Hawaii has a lot of national symbols like 'auana ( a musical instrument), Néné which is a bird, hula dancing and the hawaiian flag.
Humuhumunukunukuapua'a It is a fish : one of the national symbols.
In Hawaii, there are a lot of volcanoes like pele which is the goddess of volcano (pluriel).
Naupaka is the most common beach plant. It grows to widths of 15 feet or more.
Hawaii is form of(participe passé) 4 counties (Oahu, Maui ( Molokai et Lanai), the island of Hawaii and Kauai. The two American parties are the republican party and democratic party but there is also an independent party called : Hawaii Independence Party.represent (participe passé)in hawaii :
DISTRIBUTION OF LANDS
In Hawaii, there are (singulier)still the problem of the repartition of lands so in 1921, DHHL (Department of Hawaiian Home Lands) must(à mettre au prétérit) do the repartition of lands for the Native Hawaiians but there were many difficulty(pluriel derrière many).
The (à ôter)justice has cancelled some remit(sens??) further to scandals. There are often assigned(à mettre derrière lands) bad lands to this Hawaiians, so today, only 20 % are assigned.

ARMY
Hawaii is the most militarized American state, the army is the second Economic sector. This presence is poorly supported by the population.

INDEPENDENCE
The native Hawaiians are released (sens de la phrase ? ) hence the creation of Independence movement because Natives Hawaiians want their own government.

ECONOMY
TOURISM
Tourism is the first resources, It represent(le s du présent simple) 40 % of the GDP made 15.6 billion to(sens ? fabriqué pour ?) the state of Hawaii in 2016.

CURRENT ISSUES
In Hawaii life is expensive, so Native Hawaiians leave the island to go to The US but the tourism help(le s du présent. contribute irait mieux) to the richness(pas le meilleur mot) of Hawaii.

MAIN RESOURCES
The sugar industry and the production of pineapple in Hawaii is down so New cultivation(crops) such as coffee, macadamia nuts and exotic fruit (metteze un verbe derrière ce sujet new crops), but they represent only 2% of the GDP.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 06-01-2018 07:15
Bug police réparé.



Réponse : Tâche finale/Hawaii de bbj17, postée le 07-01-2018 à 12:39:15 (S | E)
Bonjour, voici la nouvelle correction.

HISTORY
After Hawaii was annexed by The United States in 1875 Hawaii became the 50th US state in 1959.
The statehood was already considered in the 1850s by Kamehameha the Third and in 1941 when Pearl Harbour was attacked by the Japanese. From 1953 to 1957, Hawaii’s Governor had also pushed for statehood.
In March 1959, the US House of Representatives voted in favour of statehood. A referendum was held in Hawaii in June to ask for the people’s opinion. It was a landslide for the “yes”. Then, on August 21st of that year, President Eisenhower signed the Proclamation and Hawaii officially became the last US state. Statehood was not a new consideration in 1959.

Lili'uokalani also knew as Lili is important in the story of Hawaii because she was the last queen of Hawaii. She was the queen of Hawaii for two years. She aimed to subtitute the old constitution for a new one because she wanted to be a real queen not just a figurehead.
She wasn't successful in her aim because American soldiers and merchants conspired against her to take her away from the throne. They wanted to annex Hawaii's islands because they were worth a lot of money.

TOURISM
Hula is a type of dance accompanied of a song which was developed in the Hawaiian islands by Polynesian people.
The aloha festival is a cultural celebration in the state of Hawaii in the United States which is composed of 4 festival events during the month of September.
Hawaii has a lot of national symbols like 'auana ( a musical instrument), Néné which is a bird, hula dancing and the hawaiian flag.
Humuhumunukunukuapua'a It is a fish : one of the national symbols.
In Hawaii, there are a lot of volcanoes like pele which is the goddess of volcanoes.
Naupaka is the most common beach plant. It grows to widths of 15 feet or more.
Hawaii is formed of 4 counties (Oahu, Maui ( Molokai et Lanai), the island of Hawaii and Kauai. The two American parties are the republican party and democratic party but there is also an independent party called : Hawaii Independence Party represented in hawaii.

DISTRIBUTION OF LANDS
In Hawaii, there is still the problem of the repartition of lands so in 1921, DHHL (Department of Hawaiian Home Lands) to have to do the repartition of lands for the Native Hawaiians but there were many difficulties.
There are often bad lands assigned to this Hawaiians, so today, only 20 % are assigned.

ARMY
Hawaii is the most militarized American state, the army is the second Economic sector. This presence is poorly supported by the population.

INDEPENDENCE
The native Hawaiians are abandoned so there are a lot in the creation of Independence movement because they want their own government.

ECONOMY
TOURISM
Tourism is the first resource, It represents 40 % of the GDP (15.6 billion the state of Hawaii in 2016).

CURRENT ISSUES
In Hawaii life is expensive, so Native Hawaiians leave the island to go to The US but tourism contributes to the wealth of Hawaii.

MAIN RESOURCES
The sugar industry and the production of pineapple in Hawaii is down so New crops appearde such as coffee, macadamia nuts and exotic fruit, but they represent only 2% of the GDP.



Réponse : Tâche finale/Hawaii de gerondif, postée le 07-01-2018 à 20:32:52 (S | E)
Bonsoir

HISTORY
After Hawaii was annexed by The United States in 1875(virgule) Hawaii became the 50th US state in 1959.
The statehood was already considered in the 1850s by Kamehameha the Third and in 1941 when Pearl Harbour was attacked by the Japanese. From 1953 to 1957, Hawaii’s Governor had also pushed for statehood.
In March 1959, the US House of Representatives voted in favour of statehood. A referendum was held in Hawaii in June to ask for the people’s opinion. It was a landslide victory for the “yes”. Then, on August 21st of that year, President Eisenhower signed the Proclamation and Hawaii officially became the last US state. Statehood was not a new consideration in 1959.

Lili'uokalani also knew(participe PASSE to know, I knew, known !!) as Lili is important in the story of Hawaii because she was the last queen of Hawaii. She was the queen of Hawaii for two years. She aimed to substitute the old constitution for a new one because she wanted to be a real queen not just a figurehead.
She wasn't successful in her aim because American soldiers and merchants conspired against her to take her away from the throne. They wanted to annex Hawaii's islands because they were worth a lot of money.

TOURISM
Hula is a type of dance accompanied of a song which was developed in the Hawaiian islands by Polynesian people.
The aloha festival is a cultural celebration in the state of Hawaii in the United States which is composed of 4 festival events during the month of September.
Hawaii has a lot of national symbols like 'auana ( a musical instrument), Néné which is a bird, hula dancing and the hawaiian flag.
Humuhumunukunukuapua'a It is a fish : one of the national symbols.
In Hawaii, there are a lot of volcanoes like pele which is the goddess of volcanoes.
Naupaka is the most common beach plant. It grows to widths of 15 feet or more.
Hawaii is formed of 4 counties (Oahu, Maui ( Molokai et Lanai), the island of Hawaii and Kauai. The two American parties are the republican party and democratic party but there is also an independent party called : Hawaii Independence Party represented in hawaii.

DISTRIBUTION OF LANDS
In Hawaii, there is still the problem of the repartition of lands so in 1921, DHHL (Department of Hawaiian Home Lands) to have to(à mettre au prétérit simple) do (to organise, to impose, to set up...) the repartition of lands for the Native Hawaiians but there were many difficulties.
There are(plutôt au prétérit) often bad lands assigned to this Hawaiians, so today, only 20 % are assigned.

ARMY
Hawaii is the most militarized American state, the army is the second Economic sector. This presence is poorly supported (prête à confusion to support, c'est apporter son soutien comme "supporter") by the population.

INDEPENDENCE
The native Hawaiians are abandoned so there are a lot of them in the creation of Independence movement because they want their own government. (maladroit, il vaudrait mieux dire beaucoup d'entre eux créèrent le mouvement....)

ECONOMY
TOURISM
Tourism is the first resource, It represents 40 % of the GDP (15.6 billion the state of Hawaii in 2016).

CURRENT ISSUES
In Hawaii life is expensive, so Native Hawaiians leave the island to go to The US but tourism contributes (manque un adverbe comme lourdement) to the wealth of Hawaii.

MAIN RESOURCES
The sugar industry and the production of pineapple in Hawaii is down so New crops appearde(appeared) such as coffee, macadamia nuts and exotic fruit, but they represent only 2% of the GDP.



Réponse : Tâche finale/Hawaii de bbj17, postée le 08-01-2018 à 19:08:03 (S | E)
bonjour,
voici la correction, j'ai oublié de vous dire quelque point qui doivent être respecté:
- Les recherches sont exploitées de façon personnelle et intéressante. Les texte sont structurés, riches et dense.
- Les idées sont articulées de façon cohérente et fluide.
- Les structures et formes employées montre une prise de risque, le texte reste toujours intelligible.
- Le texte va au-delà du lexique étudié. De la variété et une assez grande précision.

HISTORY
After Hawaii was annexed by The United States in 1875, Hawaii became the 50th US state in 1959.
The statehood was already considered in the 1850s by Kamehameha the Third and in 1941 when Pearl Harbour was attacked by the Japanese. From 1953 to 1957, Hawaii’s Governor had also pushed for statehood.
In March 1959, the US House of Representatives voted in favour of statehood. A referendum was held in Hawaii in June to ask for the people’s opinion. It was a landslide vitory for the “yes”. Then, on August 21st of that year, President Eisenhower signed the Proclamation and Hawaii officially became the last US state. Statehood was not a new consideration in 1959.

Lili'uokalani also known as Lili is important in the story of Hawaii because she was the last queen of Hawaii. She was the queen of Hawaii for two years. She aimed to substitute the old constitution for a new one because she wanted to be a real queen not just a figurehead.
She wasn't successful in her aim because American soldiers and merchants conspired against her to take her away from the throne. They wanted to annex Hawaii's islands because they were worth a lot of money.

TOURISM
Hula is a type of dance accompanied by a song which was developed in the Hawaiian islands by Polynesian people.
The aloha festival is a cultural celebration in the state of Hawaii in the United States which is composed of 4 festival events during the month of September.
Hawaii has a lot of national symbols like 'auana ( a musical instrument), Néné which is a bird, hula dancing and the hawaiian flag.
Humuhumunukunukuapua'a is a fish : one of the national symbols.
In Hawaii, there are a lot of volcanoes like pele which is the goddess of volcanoes.
Naupaka is the most common beach plant. It grows to widths of 15 feet or more.
Hawaii is formed of 4 counties (Oahu, Maui ( Molokai et Lanai), the island of Hawaii and Kauai. The two American parties are the republican party and democratic party but there is also an independent party called : Hawaii Independence Party represented in hawaii.

DISTRIBUTION OF LANDS
In Hawaii, there is still the problem of the repartition of lands so in 1921, DHHL (Department of Hawaiian Home Lands) to had to to set up the repartition of lands for the Native Hawaiians but there were many difficulties.
There were often bad lands assigned to this Hawaiians, so today, only 20 % are assigned.

ARMY
Hawaii is the most militarized American state, the army is the second Economic sector. This presence is poorly disagreement by the population.

INDEPENDENCE
The native Hawaiians are abandoned so a lot of them created the Independence movement because they want their own government.

ECONOMY
TOURISM
Tourism is the first resource, It represents 40 % of the GDP (15.6 billion the state of Hawaii in 2016).

CURRENT ISSUES
In Hawaii life is expensive, so Native Hawaiians leave the island to go to The US but tourism contributes heavily to the wealth of Hawaii.

MAIN RESOURCES
The sugar industry and the production of pineapple in Hawaii is down so New crops appeared such as coffee, macadamia nuts and exotic fruit, but they represent only 2% of the GDP.



Réponse : Tâche finale/Hawaii de gerondif, postée le 08-01-2018 à 23:00:13 (S | E)
Bonsoir

bonjour,
voici la correction, j'ai oublié de vous dire quelques points qui doivent être respectés:
- Les recherches sont exploitées de façon personnelle et intéressante. Les textes sont structurés, riches et denses.
(Faites attention aux pluriels)
- Les idées sont articulées de façon cohérente et fluide.
- Les structures et formes employées montrent une prise de risque, le texte reste toujours intelligible.
- Le texte va au-delà du lexique étudié. De la variété et une assez grande précision.
(oui mais je me borne à vous indiquer ce qui est faux ou maladroit. Je n'ai pas à améliorer votre production)
HISTORY
After Hawaii was annexed by The United States in 1875, Hawaii(ou it) became the 50th US state in 1959.
The statehood was already considered in the 1850s by Kamehameha the Third and in 1941 when Pearl Harbour was attacked by the Japanese. From 1953 to 1957, Hawaii’s Governor had also pushed for statehood.
In March 1959, the US House of Representatives voted in favour of statehood. A referendum was held in Hawaii in June to ask for the people’s opinion. It was a landslide victory for the “yes”. Then, on August 21st of that year, President Eisenhower signed the Proclamation and Hawaii officially became the last US state. (je me demande ce que cette dernière phrase apporte)Statehood was not a new consideration in 1959.

Lili'uokalani also known as Lili is important in the story of Hawaii because she was the last queen of Hawaii. She was the queen of Hawaii for two years. She aimed to substitute the old constitution for a new one because she wanted to be a real queen not just a figurehead.
She wasn't successful in her aim because American soldiers and merchants conspired against her to take her away from the throne. They wanted to annex Hawaii's islands because they were worth a lot of money.

TOURISM
Hula is a type of dance accompanied by a song which was developed in the Hawaiian islands by Polynesian people.
The aloha festival is a cultural celebration in the state of Hawaii in the United States which is composed of 4 festival events during the month of September.
Hawaii has a lot of national symbols like 'auana ( a musical instrument), Néné which is a bird, hula dancing and the Hawaiian flag.
Humuhumunukunukuapua'a is a fish : one of the national symbols.
In Hawaii, there are a lot of volcanoes like pele which is the goddess of volcanoes.
Naupaka is the most common beach plant. It grows to widths of 15 feet or more.
Hawaii is formed of 4 counties (Oahu, Maui ( Molokai et Lanai), the island of Hawaii and Kauai. The two American parties are the republican party and democratic party but there is also an independent party called : Hawaii Independence Party represented in Hawaii.

DISTRIBUTION OF LANDS
In Hawaii, there is still the problem of the repartition of lands so in 1921, DHHL (Department of Hawaiian Home Lands) to had to to (comment pouvez-vous conjuguer un verbe tout en laissant le to de l'infinitif ?) set up the repartition of lands for the Native Hawaiians but there were many difficulties.
There were often bad lands assigned to this Hawaiians, so today, only 20 % are assigned.

ARMY
Hawaii is the most militarized American state, the army is the second Economic sector. This presence is poorly disagreement by the population.

INDEPENDENCE
The native Hawaiians are abandoned so a lot of them created the Independence movement because they want their own government.

ECONOMY
TOURISM
Tourism is the first resource, It represents 40 % of the GDP (15.6 billion the state of Hawaii in 2016).

CURRENT ISSUES
In Hawaii, life is expensive, so Native Hawaiians leave the island to go to The US but tourism contributes heavily to the wealth of Hawaii.

MAIN RESOURCES
The sugar industry and the production of pineapple in Hawaii is down so New crops appeared such as coffee, macadamia nuts and exotic fruit, but they represent only 2% of the GDP.




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