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Places and forms of power/aide

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Places and forms of power/aide
Message de ju666 posté le 23-03-2018 à 16:15:25 (S | E | F)
Yo! Hello,
j'ai bientôt un oral d'anglais, pourriez-vous me corriger mon texte sur la notion "place and form of power" s'il vous plait ?
Merci d'avance.

I'm going to talk the notion of place and form of power. First of all, in politics or social science, this notion is about the ability to influence people's behaviour in order to live together, members of a community, accept rules and laws. This helps to create social cohesion but can lead tension and conflict. This is why I would like to talk about the gun control in USA. Indeed, because of the 2nd amendment, guns are allowed in America and even if some people are in favor of guns, some others are completely against for some reasons. This is why we may wonder if gun control is now a challenge to America.
In a first part we will talk about the evolution of america with guns, in a second part we will see how guns can affect the american population and finally, in a third part we will see in what the gun control can be good to the USA.

First of all, the 2nd Amendment of the american constitution protects the right of the people to keep and bear arms since 1791. So basicly, America grew up with this right and from many decades, people are allowed to own and bear an arm, guns are now in their culture. Furthermore, the american culture is the identity of the american population, this is why a lot of people are attached to it and the gun's culture is now, from many years, deeply rooted in their mentalies. Indeed as the NRA proclaimed it, guns are essential to their life, people need them to protect themselves when the police doesn't do its work or when they are attacked. A lot of people share the same mind and really thinks that guns can make the rate of crimes and violence decreased even if none corelation has been made yet. In America, guns are everywhere, they are easy available as well as ammunition, there are a lot of awarness video, a lot of awarness campaign about guns etc... So guns had almost always been a part of the american society and the american culture.

However, even if the gun's culture is very important in America, it can also badly affect the population. Guns can be extremely dangerous and if they are in the wrong hands, they can be devastating. As we saw it in an awarness campaign poster, guns are allowed wereas kinder surprise are banned which is pretty ironic when we know that kinder surprise are just chocolate and toys .The USA are considering that a kid's toy is more dangerous than an riffle, so do they really know the dangers of a gun? We don't know that and it is very worrisome. Indeed, sometimes, some people who own a gun become, for any reasons, insane and decided to opened fire in a crowd, in a high school or in a mall and some innocents people are killed. A lost of people lost someone they loved because of guns, in a mass shooting, in a suicide or in a murder and the government known it well, but it seems that kid's toys are more threatening. Moreover, people are now more paranoid than ever because of guns, they always think that someone is ready to attacked them and they are actually ready to use their arm for any reasons which is extremely dangerous.

Finally, guns need to be controled, because if we don't controled them, they will controled us and who knows what can happened in a society led by fear and violence. This is why, in 2016, the former president, Barack Obama, talked about a gun control in a speech. The right to bear arms is in the constitution and we can't change it as we want it but we can't either continue to give a gun to anyone who wants one without be sure that these person is able to use it, so this solution seems to be a good compromised. Indeed, according to Obama, every people who worked in the gun's business needs to be subject of a background check because guns doesn't shot by their onw, they are used by someone who could be dangerous . Furthermore, he proposed to hire more federal agents and boost the saf technologies of guns like a print recognition and a better report of the lost or stolen guns in order to protect people because more they will be safe and less they will have to use guns.

In conclusion, America grew up with the gun's culture wich is now deeply rooted in the mentalities. However, guns can also badly affect the american population and caused a lot of damages. This is why even if gun control is a real need, it is also a challenge because installing it would disrupt the american culture.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 23-03-2018 22:02


Réponse : Places and forms of power/aide de dsmith, postée le 23-03-2018 à 18:31:34 (S | E)
Bonjour,

Ton salutation "Yo!" m'a fait rire!

I'm going to talk about the notion of place and form of power. First of all, in politics or social science, this notion is about the ability to influence people's behaviour in order to live together, members of a community, accept rules and laws. This helps to create social cohesion but can lead (une preposition ici) tension and conflict. This is why I would like to talk about the gun control in USA. Indeed, because of the 2nd amendment, guns are allowed in America and even if some people are in favor of guns, some others are completely against for some reasons. This is why we may wonder if gun control is now a challenge to America.
In a first part we will talk about the evolution of america with guns, in a second part we will see how guns can affect the american population and finally, in a third part we will see in what (il y a un mot qui manque ici) the gun control can be good to the USA.

First of all, the 2nd Amendment of the american (capitalize) constitution protects the right of the people to keep and bear arms since 1791. So basicly (misspelled), America grew up with this right and from many decades, people are allowed to own and bear an arm (pluriel), guns are now in their culture. Furthermore, the american culture is the identity of the american population, this is why a lot of people are attached to it and the gun's (pas 's) culture is now, from many years, deeply rooted in their mentalies. Indeed as the NRA proclaimed it, guns are essential to their life, people need them to protect themselves when the police doesn't (police "they" est pluriel) do its work or when they are attacked. A lot of people share the same mind and really thinks that guns can make the rate of crimes and violence decreased even if none corelation (misspelled) has been made yet. In America, guns are everywhere, they are easy (adverb form) available as well as ammunition, there are a lot of awarness (misspelled) video (plural), a lot of awarness campaigns about guns etc... So guns had almost always been a part of the american society and the american culture.

However, even if the gun's culture is very important in America, it can also badly affect the population. Guns can be extremely dangerous and if they are in the wrong hands, they can be devastating. As we saw it in an awarness campaign poster, guns are allowed wereas (misspelled) kinder surprise candies are banned which is pretty ironic when we know that kinder surprise are just chocolate and toys .The USA are considering (use present simple singular) that a kid's toy is more dangerous than an riffle (misspelled), so do they really know the dangers of a gun? We don't know that and it is very worrisome. Indeed, sometimes, some people who own a gun become, for any reasons, insane and decided (melange de present et passé) to opened fire in a crowd, in a high school or in a mall and some innocents (singulier) people are killed. A lost of people lost someone they loved because of guns, in a mass shooting, in a suicide or in a murder and the government known (use present) it well, but it seems that kid's toys are more threatening. Moreover, people are now more paranoid than ever because of guns, they always think that someone is ready to attacked (use present) them and they are actually ready to use their arm (confused with bras. Use "gun") for any reasons (singular) which is extremely dangerous.

Finally, guns need to be controled (misspelled), because if we don't controled them, they will controled (not the proper way to create the future tense) us and who knows what can happened (pas passé ici) in a society led by fear and violence. This is why, in 2016, the former president, Barack Obama, talked about a gun control in a speech. The right to bear arms is in the constitution and we can't change it as we want it but we can't either continue (inverser ces mots) to give a gun to anyone who wants one without be (without verb+ing) sure that these person is (mettre en pluriel) able to use it, so this solution seems to be a good compromised (the noun form). Indeed, according to Obama, every people (every person ou all people) who worked (pourquoi passé?) in the gun's (pas de possessif) business needs to be subject of (subject to) a background check because guns doesn't (pluriel) shot (present) by (on) their onw (misspelled), they are used by someone who could be dangerous . Furthermore, he proposed to hire more federal agents and boost the saf technologies of guns like a fingerprint recognition and a better report of the lost or stolen guns in order to protect people because more they will be safe and less they will have to use guns.

because with this approach the more they will be safe and the less they will have to use guns.
ou because they will be more safe and they will have to use guns less.

In conclusion, America grew up with the gun's (juste "the gun culture") culture wich (orthographe) is now deeply rooted in the mentalities of the American people. However, guns can also badly affect the american population and caused (présent simple) a lot of damages. This is why even if gun control is a real need, it is also a challenge because installing it would disrupt the american culture.

Très bien écrit! Félicitations.




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