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Essay/facilities in cities

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Essay/facilities in cities
Message de ana24 posté le 09-04-2018 à 20:54:15 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir!
Me revoilà avec mes écrits..
Je m'étais fixée de faire ce sujet en 45 minutes mais il m'a fallu 1h30:?

Your class has attended a panel discussion on facilities which should receive money from local authorities. You have made the notes below:
"Which facilities should receive money from local authorities?
--> Museums
--> sport centres
--> public gardens
Write an essay discussing two of the facilities in your notes. You should explain which facility is more important for local authorities to give money to, give reasons in support of your answers.


The purpose of this essay is to discuss two facilities which should receive money from local authorities.

First and foremost, more money should be given towards public gardens in order to make cities more enjoyable and pleasant to live in. It has been proved beyond doubt that bringing nature into the city lower the stress level of its inhabitants and, as a consequence, they benefit from an increase feeling of well-being. Whether it is to skip away from your desk or have your lunch break while enjoying the sun,beeing surrounded by plants and trees is refreshing and could even improve one’s critical thinking and one’s imagination. Then, parks appears to be an excellent incentive as to encourage people to have a healthier lifestyle. In practise, public gardens could be an alternative place to exercise and take part into a wide-range of leisure activities such as yoga, fitness or even dances classes.

Beyond the fact that public spaces are of a massive importance in every city, I strongly believe that museums should be subsidized in a larger extent by local authorities. While national museums still are of a great interest from the country and benefit from a high frequency in terms of visitors numbers , many local museums are suffering from a lack of recognition. Yet, museums engage their visitors and allow them to examine fascinating artefacts, have a insight of other cultures and discover stunning exhibitions. Therefore, with better investments from the local authorities, museums could be the heart of every community and preserve its stories to those who live nearby. What is more, cities should aim to attract its citizens from a less priviligived background ,who sometimes tend to be intimidated by the academic way in which some museums display their exhibits. Local museums are not high-brow institutions, aimed at some elite. Thus, local authorities should make an effort in making local museums accessible to everyone.

To sum up, I think museums should be the main priority for the year ahead. The main reason for choosing this facility is to give every citizen an access to is local culture. Plus, these are educational institutions and provide a good place to flourish new and creative ideas.

Merci encore
Ana

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 09-04-2018 22:04


Réponse : Essay/facilities in cities de gerondif, postée le 09-04-2018 à 23:31:18 (S | E)
Bonsoir
The purpose of this essay is to discuss two facilities which should receive money from local authorities.

First and foremost, more money should be given towards public gardens in order to make cities more enjoyable and pleasant to live in. It has been proved beyond doubt that bringing nature into the city lower(et alors, le s du présent troisième personne??) the stress level of its inhabitants and, as a consequence, they benefit from an increase(participe passé!!) feeling of well-being. Whether it is to skip away from your desk or have your lunch break while enjoying the sun,beeing(ah, on conjugue les abeilles maintenant ?) surrounded by plants and trees is refreshing and could even improve one’s critical thinking and one’s imagination. Then, parks appears(ah maintenant les sujets pluriels sont suivis d'un verbe au singulier ? Tout va bien !) to be an excellent incentive as(à ôter) to encourage people to have a healthier lifestyle. In practise(ah, on met le verbe en se à la place du nom en ce), public gardens could be an alternative place to exercise and take part into a wide-(tiret en trop)range of leisure activities such as yoga, fitness or even dances classes.(ah, on ne sait plus que dans les noms composés, le premier élément adjectival est souvent invariable ? dance-classes)

Beyond the fact that public spaces are of a massive importance in every city, I strongly believe that museums should be subsidized in(to) a larger extent by local authorities. While national museums still are (j'aurais mis still derrière is, sauf emphase spéciale) of a great interest from(ah, on confond for et from!) the country and benefit from a high frequency(ah, on confond fréquence et fréquentation?) in terms of visitors numbers (la aussi le nom composé cloche visitor-numbers ou simplement in terms of the number of visitors) , many local museums are suffering (ou présent simple) from a lack of recognition. Yet, museums engage their visitors and allow them to examine fascinating artefacts, to have a insight of other cultures and to discover stunning exhibitions. Therefore, with better investments from the local authorities, museums could be the heart of every community and preserve its(je mettrais "their") stories to(for) those who live nearby. What is more, cities should aim to attract its(their) citizens from a less priviligived background ,who sometimes tend to be intimidated by the academic way in which some museums display their exhibits. Local museums are not high-brow institutions, aimed at some elite. Thus, local authorities should make an effort in making local museums accessible to everyone.

To sum up, I think museums should be the main priority for the year ahead. The main reason for choosing this facility is to give every citizen an access to his (or her) local culture. Plus (moreover est plus "classe"), these are educational institutions and provide a good place to flourish new and creative ideas.




Réponse : Essay/facilities in cities de ana24, postée le 10-04-2018 à 17:35:09 (S | E)
Merci gerondif pour votre aide!! Que de fautes élémentaires, j'essaye de ne plus les reproduire pour les prochains.
Vous ne manquez pas d'humour, surtout avec les abeilles

" while national museums still are of great interest from the country"

I used " from" on purpose but I recognise that it is wrong gramatically... I wanted to say that people still enjoy a lot national museums ( the prestigious ones for instance in paris) : The citizens still express a great interest for museums

Bonne journée



Réponse : Essay/facilities in cities de gerondif, postée le 11-04-2018 à 11:52:41 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Disons alors qu'avec mes commentaires, vous êtes abeillée pour l'hiver, pour faire le buzz.

I used " from" on purpose but I recognise that it is wrong gramatically (provocation ? grammatically) I wanted to say that people still enjoy national museums a lot ( the prestigious ones for instance in paris Paris) : The citizens still express a great interest for museums

Il aurait alors fallu dire :
While the most famous national museums in big cities are very popular with people living in the country /coming from the country and can boast a high rate of visitors, many local museums suffer from a lack of recognition.




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