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Notion/Places and forms of power

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Notion/Places and forms of power
Message de sally63 posté le 20-04-2018 à 16:14:33 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
ma professeur ne pouvant pas corriger ma dernière notion d'anglais, si quelqu'un pouvait m'aider à la corriger ce serait gentil
Merci

Locations and Forms of power
Introduction

The notion I am going to deal with is Locations and forms of power through the theme of gun issue in the USA.
First of all, I would give a definition of power, which is the ability to control and determine how other individuals, groups or whole societies behave, believe or think.
There, we’re going to talk about one form of power, the lobbies. A lobby is a group of people who represent a particular organization or campaign and try to persuade a government to help or support them. In the USA, the gun lobby is very important because in most States in America it's legal to own a firearm as a method of self-defense as it is written in the Second Amendment to the US Constitution.

This right is very controversial in particular after the different mass shootings.
So, to what extent does the gun issue divide the USA ?

Firstly, we’re going to see how the students react to the mass shooting in Parkland trough an article from a newspaper by Sabrina Siddiqui.
Next, we’re going to study how Americans show their opposition to gun control with a report named Gun control.

I-Parkland students to congress : tighten gun laws or risk killing America’s future

To begin with, this article from the Guardian, a British quality newspaper published on the web on March 2018 was written after the mass shooting in the Marjory Stoneman Douglas high school in Parkland, in Florida on the 14th February 2018.
The shooter killed 17 people, 14 students and 3 staff members and many other people were wounded.

After the mass shooting, students feel unsafe at school according to a survey and think that other students will bring a gun at school. For the polling organisation, all the generation that have grown up with all this killings since 199 Columbine high school massacre is definitively afraid of that.
Whereas, young people don’t want to stay powerless and they decided to express themselves trough the “March for Our Lives” when they took to the streets in Washington in order to urge legislators to set up a gun control policy : they became activists. More of one third of young people will take part in the manifestation.
In parallel, 800 other events were organised in the USA to support this student movement.

This movement was led by Parkland survivors like Aalayah Eastmond who voiced student frustration or David Hogg who explained that American’s lives must be more important than a political debate because the USA have to ensure young people’s safty.

However, after the outcry which happened after the 2012 Sandy Hook elementary school massacre in Newtown, Connecticut, a compromise between Republican and Democrat failed because of a Republican filibuster.
Even if any compromise was found, young people are sustained by some politicians like the Democrat Senator Richard Blumenthal who said that young people have to change the mentalities.
I agree with him because young people represent the future of the USA and they have to make their voices heard.

II-Gun Control

But students are facing an opposition because a lot of Americans are in favour of gun rights.

It’s what the news report by VOA News show by opening the floor to the two parties. The anti-gun people are Barack Obama, the former democrat president but president at the time of the video, the democrat Chuck Schumer and two pastors. The pro-gun people are Vin Weber, a Republican congress man who became a lobbyist and Carroll Doherty who is the director of Pew research which is an organisation which deals with polls.
Barack Obama who represents all Americans who are shocked by the shootings is confronted by the majority of the Congress men are in favour of gun rights and refuse to tight gun laws.

Indeed, it’s US tradition to own a gun because it’s written in the constitution with the Second Amendment and even if it dates to the very beginning of the United States where crime and insecurity were rampant, progun lobbies say gun rights are protected by the Constitution.
Moreover, the NRA (National Rifle Association) which mains to promote carrying of weapons represents 4 million people and has spent 3 million dollars to gun lobby in 10 million in total. They are extremely active in politics.
Finally, US population is divided : 52% support gun rights over gun control.
Therefore, this report shows that, despite all casualty made by fire arms, gun lobby is still most important and Congress is not ready to tighten gun laws.

Conclusion
In conclusion, gun right is an old tradition which the Americans hold near so young people must get things moving even if it will be difficult.
I expect that Congress men will listen to the new generation and leave on one side the gun lobby in order to save American lives.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 20-04-2018 22:12
Merci de ne pas poster, supprimer et reposter à l'identique !


Réponse : Notion/Places and forms of power de gerondif, postée le 20-04-2018 à 17:48:11 (S | E)
Bonjour
erreurs en bleu
The notion I am going to deal with is Locations and forms of power through the theme of gun issue in the USA.
First of all, I would like to give a definition of power, which is the ability to control and determine how other individuals, groups or whole societies behave, believe or think.
There, we’re going to talk about one form of power, the(à ôter) lobbies. A lobby is a group of people who represent a particular organization or campaign and try to persuade a government to help or support them. In the USA, the gun lobby is very important (plutôt powerful) because in most States in America it's legal to own a firearm as a method of self-defense as it is written in the Second Amendment to the US Constitution.

This right is very controversial in particular after the different mass shootings.
So, to what extent does the gun issue divide the USA ?

Firstly, we’re going to see how the students react to the mass shooting in Parkland trough an article from a newspaper by Sabrina Siddiqui.
Next, we’re going to study how Americans show their opposition to gun control with a report named Gun control.

I-Parkland students to congress : tighten gun laws or risk killing America’s future

To begin with, this article from the Guardian, a British quality newspaper published on the web on March 2018 was written after the mass shooting in the Marjory Stoneman Douglas high school in Parkland, in Florida on the 14th of February, 2018.
The shooter killed 17 people, 14 students and 3 staff members and many other people were wounded.

After the mass shooting, students feel (prétérit) unsafe at school according to a survey and think (prétérit) that other students will(conditionnel) bring a gun at(to) school. For the polling organisation, all the generation(pluriel) that have grown up with all this(pluriel) killings since 199 Columbine high school massacre is(temps avec since + pluriel) definitively afraid of that.(peur de quoi en fait ? Ce n'est pas clair.)
Whereas (signifie alors que au sens de mais au contraire, que fait-il seul et bloqué par une virgule ??), young people don’t want(prétérit) to stay powerless and they decided to express themselves trough the “March for Our Lives” when they took to the streets in Washington in order to urge legislators to set up a gun control policy : they became activists.(construction de phrase bizarre) More of one third of young people will take part (ce futur ne va pas) in the manifestation.
In parallel, 800 other events were organised in the USA to support this student movement.

This movement was led by Parkland survivors like Aalayah Eastmond who voiced student frustration or David Hogg who explained that American’s lives must be more important than a political debate because the USA have to ensure young people’s safety.

However, after the outcry which happened after the 2012 Sandy Hook elementary school massacre in Newtown, Connecticut, a compromise between Republican and Democrat failed because of a Republican filibuster.

Even if any compromise was found, young people are sustained by some politicians like the Democrat Senator Richard Blumenthal who said that young people have to change the mentalities.(Cette phrase n'a pas de sens : même si n'importe quel compromis était trouvé, les jeunes sont soutenus par des politiciens comme le sénateur démocrate RB qui déclara que les jeunes devaient changer les mentalités)

I agree with him because young people represent the future of the USA and they have to make their voices heard.

II-Gun Control

(Commencer une phrase par but n'est pas conseillé)But students are facing an opposition because a lot of Americans are in favour of gun rights.

It’s what the news report by VOA News show by opening the floor to the two parties. The anti-gun people are Barack Obama, the former democrat president but president at the time of the video, the democrat Chuck Schumer and two pastors. The pro-gun people are Vin Weber, a Republican congressman who became a lobbyist and Carroll Doherty who is the director of Pew research which is an organisation which deals with polls.

Barack Obama who represents all Americans who are shocked by the shootings is confronted by the majority of the Congressmen who are in favour of gun rights and refuse to tight(il faut le verbe, pas l'adjectif) gun laws.

Indeed, it’s a US tradition to own a gun because it’s written in the constitution with the Second Amendment (vous vous répétez) and even if it dates back to the very beginning of the United States where crime and insecurity were rampant, progun lobbies say gun rights are protected by the Constitution.
Moreover, the NRA (National Rifle Association) which mains(erreur . which aims at promoting?) to promote carrying of weapons represents 4 million people and has spent 3 million dollars to gun lobby in 10 million in total. (pas clair!)They are extremely active in politics.
Finally, the US population is divided : 52% support gun rights over gun control.

Therefore, this report shows that, despite all casualty(pluriel) made by firearms, gun lobby is still most(very) important and Congress is not ready to tighten gun laws.

Conclusion

In conclusion, gun right is an old tradition which the Americans hold near(sens?) so young people must get things moving even if it will be difficult.
I expect that Congressmen will listen to the new generation and leave on one side the gun lobby in order to save American lives.

Vous citez des organismes plus que vous ne démontrez quoi que ce soit, je trouve.




Réponse : Notion/Places and forms of power de sally63, postée le 21-04-2018 à 00:16:38 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup pour votre aide ! Je crois que j'ai réussi à tout corriger
Merci encore




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