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Urban environment/essay

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Urban environment/essay
Message de ana24 posté le 05-05-2018 à 22:27:59 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir,
J'aimerais avoir votre avis sur ce que je viens d'écrire en dessous . je ne suis pas satisfaite ( répétitions +++) et ça ne me semble pas assez formel et fluide. Je reçois donc vos corrections avec plaisir
Merci beaucoup
Bon weekend

Your class has watched a TV programme on ways of keeping the urban environment clean and tidy. You have made the notes below:
- legislation
- public awareness campaigns
- public services
Write an essay for your tutor discussing two of the ways in your notes. You should explain which ways of keeping the urban environment clean and tidy is more important and provide reasons to support your opinion.



As the worldwide population is on the rise, our ecological footprint increases and as a result it becomes challenging to keep our urban environment clean and tidy. The purpose of this essay is to discuss two ways that could help us to meet this objective.

Firstly, Introducing taxes in case of bad ecological behaviours appears to be an excellent incentive to encourage people to behave and consume more ethically. For instance, the local government could create a tax for people who use car parks, encouraging them to commute by bike or by public transport. Not only would it act against pollution but it would make the city more pleasant and enjoyable to live in. Then, the government should make recycling compulsory with the objective to send nothing to landfills or incinerators. While a disrespect for the the law would lead to a fine, citizens making an effort to cultivate an ecological city would reap some interesting financial benefits. There is no doub that this measure would make the area cleaner and hence, paves the way to cut greenhouse gas emissions.

Citizens should not see these environmental policies as a punishment but on the contrary as a way to make more profit and protect our planet for the future generations. This is why public awareness campaigns are of a great importance. People should acknowledge that changes need not to be colossal to make our urban environment more sustainable. A few daily actions such as cut waste generation, collect the trash or separate out waste would lead to a better environment. These campaigns should be promoted in schools and in every workplace in an attempt to encourage everyone to behave in a responsible and ethical way. Teachers could prompt further discussions about pollution, initiate debates about climage change and deforestation. Moreover, governmement should subsidize more money into advertisements, documentaries that explain clearly what need to be done.

To sum up, government needs to create policies as regard as transports,recycling and composting. To make these plans successful,every citizen should be involved and should respect the law with great care. I utterly believe that legislation is the best way to keep our urban environment clean and tidy.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 05-05-2018 22:37


Réponse : Urban environment/essay de gerondif, postée le 05-05-2018 à 23:07:33 (S | E)
Bonsoir
As the worldwide population is on the rise, our ecological footprint increases and as a result it becomes challenging to keep our urban environment clean and tidy. The purpose of this essay is to discuss two ways that could help us to meet this objective.

Firstly, Introducing taxes in case of bad ecological behaviours appears to be an excellent incentive to encourage people to behave and consume more ethically. For instance, the local government could create a tax for people who use car parks, encouraging them to commute by bike or by public transport. Not only would it act against pollution but it would make the city more pleasant and enjoyable to live in. Then, the government should make recycling compulsory with the objective to send nothing to landfills or incinerators. While a disrespect for the the law would lead to a fine, citizens making an effort to cultivate an ecological city would reap some interesting financial benefits. There is no doubt that this measure would make the area cleaner and hence, paves( si ce verbe dépend de would, alors pas de s ) the way to cut greenhouse gas emissions.

Citizens should not see these environmental policies as a punishment but on the contrary as a way to make more profit and protect our planet for the future generations. This is why public awareness campaigns are of a great (of the utmost importance)importance. People should acknowledge that changes need not to be *colossal to make our urban environment more sustainable. A few daily actions such as cut(gérondif, ing) waste generation, collect(gérondif) the trash or separate(gérondif) out waste would lead to a better environment. These campaigns should be promoted in schools and in every workplace in an attempt to encourage everyone to behave in a responsible and ethical way. Teachers could prompt further discussions about pollution, initiate debates about climage change and deforestation. Moreover, governmement should subsidize more money into advertisements, documentaries that explain clearly what need(ah, verbe ordinaire suivi d'un infinitif complet, donc prend le s du présent troisième personne) to be done.

To sum it up,
the government needs to create policies as regard as(supprimer) transports,recycling and composting. To make these plans successful,every citizen should be involved and should respect the law with great care. I utterly believe that legislation is the best way to keep our urban environment clean and tidy.

* bon alors soit need est un verbe lexical ordinaire et donc utilise do et est suivi d'un infinitif complee: He doesn't need to come.
Soit il est défectif, semi auxiliaire et alors: il n'existe qu'en conjugaison "présent " (même si on l'utilise avec un sens passé, needn't reste needn't), en forme interrogative ou négative, absorbe la négation et est suivi de la base verbale: He says I needn't come /He said I needn't come.
Donc dans ce texte: changes don't need to be collosal, verbe lambda.
Changes needn't be colossal, plus idiomatique.




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