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Notion/ forme et lieux de pouvoir

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Notion/ forme et lieux de pouvoir
Message de leletahiti posté le 20-04-2019 à 02:48:18 (S | E | F)
Bonjour
j'aimerais avoir une petite correction sur ma notion s'il vous plait.
Merci d'avance

INTRODUCTION
I’m going to talk about the notion of « places and forms of power ». But first of all , I’d like to give a definition of this notion. The power is the ability to control others and to make things happen despite obstacles, resistance, or opposition. This of course leads to conflict between those who have and exercise power and those who have none or little of it. As a consequence, the exercice of power within a community requires that its members accept a complex system of laws and respect symbols such as specifics (adj invariable) places especially court, parliament and prison. This year we worked on the topic of women’s rights mostly in Saudi Arabia. Nowadays violence against women and girls continues to be one of the biggest human rights violations in the world. This is true regardless of where a woman lives or how much she makes. So we asked ourselves « How the document we studied show the gender gap ? ». To respond to this question I have chosen 2 documents. First , we will talk about the gender inequalities in Saudi Arabia. And finally we will see the gender imbalance in the work place nowadays.

I/ Gender inequalities in Saudi Arabia
So the first document I have chosen is a newspaper named « they will kill me : Saudi woman fleeing to Australia forces back on the plane » from the International News. It was published in 2017 and talks about women’s rights in Saudi Arabia and the history of a saudi women who was forced to come back in Saudi Arabia after she flees in Australia.
Nowadays , we observe that women are considered as lower, in many fields. They’re victimes of crimes who are not reported by the international community. So the only way to denounced these crimes are the social media. Women can make their cases known to the rest of the world and denounce a situation known by undiligent governement.

Indeed , according to the document, Dina Ali Lasloom is a Saudi woman who was fleeing in Australia to escape her guardianship laws. She was stopped during transit at Manila Airport and forced to come back in Saudi Arabia. Pilipino’s customs officers confiscated lasloom’s documents. So with the help of a Canadian tourist she recorded a video where she said she feared her family would kill her if she returned in Saudi Arabia and she was looking for asylum. Then her case spread widely on social media. This is the filipino government who has confirmed the detention of Lasloom , but they blame it all one the Saudi government and airline. Moreover filipino Government didn’t hold any Saudi national.
After their poor response to the situation which is the human rights (base on Kenneth Roth) , the government has been widely condemned by many groups. Human rights activist hope that this situation will raise awareness and discourage countries to deport women back to Saudi Arabia because of the bad press it would give them.

II/ Gender imbalance in the work place
Finally the last document is entitled : « women using the gap year to close the gender gap » which is an extract from a book named « Look Before Leaping » by Gregory Malveaux published in 2016.
A gap year is a period of time during which a student takes a break from studying after they have finished school and before they start college . Nowadays we observe that the women have less opportunities of employment. Moreover, they have 20 % of chances in less, in front of men being engaged, for the same job. Indeed the fact that women go on maternity leaves and sometimes never come back or work part time create a form of discrimination against women. This document proves that women have to find way to close the gender gap . Besides they take a gap year to make their CV’s more interesting. Like volunteers in NGO ( Non-Governement Organisation) like doctors without borders. Or try internships in the sector they would like to work for continu studying in this sector after the gap year. Same as the university encourage students to take a gap year such as Harvard. For example Malia Obama demonstrates that the modern trend is a valuable asset for women.
To resume the gap year is a way to show women’s commitment , they acquire more skills and the work experience could differentiate them in their CV’s.
This document shows that women who are determined to have a successful carrer and have found multiple ways to make their CV more interesting and they should be encouraged to do so.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 20-04-2019 08:58


Réponse : Notion/ forme et lieux de pouvoir de laure95, postée le 20-04-2019 à 10:31:21 (S | E)
Bonjour,
- This is true regardless of where a woman lives or how much she makes: phrase pas nécessire.
- To respond to (to answer pas to respond to)this question
- And finally (after pas finally)we will see the gender imbalance in the work place nowadays.

I/ Gender inequalities in Saudi Arabia
- and talks about: and is about.
- a saudi (majuscule)women: a + singulier.
- who was forced to come back in Saudi Arabia after she flees (passé)in Australia.
- victimes: orthographe.
- to denounced: to + infinitif.
- these crimes are the (pas de the)social media.

but they blame (passé)it all one the Saudi government and airline.
Présentation du document trop détaillé, résumez plus.

II/ Gender imbalance in the work place
- A gap year is a period of time during which a student takes a break from studying after they (singulier)have finished school and before they (singulier)start college .
- the (pas de the)women have less opportunities of employment.
- Indeed the fact that women go on maternity leaves and sometimes never come back or work part time create (singulier)a form of discrimination against women.
- for continu: ?
- Same as the university encourage:?
- This document shows that women who (pas de who)are determined
- carrer: orthographe.

Conclusion?
Votre exposé est beaucoup trop long déjà sans la conclusion: vous n'avez que 5 minutes! Vous entrez trop dans les détails des documents. Les documents sont juste là pour illustrer la notion.



Réponse : Notion/ forme et lieux de pouvoir de leletahiti, postée le 22-04-2019 à 00:51:47 (S | E)
Bonjour , merci pour vos corrections j'ai tout corrigé. Voici ma conclusion ci-dessous.

To conclude, in our society, the power of women seems weak. Indeed, they are often victims of violence, and are very few in some sectors, like the politic. Moreover, the disparities in the access to work is very important, because many companies prefer to engage a man, rather than a woman, for a job. Thus, the way is still long, so that the women can have the same power as the men, and to be on an equal footing.
However, the Gap seems to be reduced, and the women acquire more power. The society change, and the domination to men will probably disappear, for a society with more equality, where men and women have the same rights.



Réponse : Notion/ forme et lieux de pouvoir de laure95, postée le 22-04-2019 à 16:59:45 (S | E)
Bonjour,
CONCLUSION
- like the politic: pas de the + mettre un "s" à la fin de politique.
- to engage: pas le bon mot.
- the (pas de the)women can have the same power as the (pas de the)men,
- the women acquire more power: présent en be + -ing.
- The society change: présent en be + -ing.
- and the domination to (pas la bonne préposition)men will probably disappear,




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