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Junk food/correction

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Junk food/correction
Message de toto1906 posté le 27-09-2019 à 23:59:22 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Je dois envoyer à un de mes correspondants anglais un court rapport sur la "junk food". Afin d'avoir un texte le plus clair possible, est-ce que quelqu'un peut le corriger. Je remercie la personne d'avance.

Some applications help to eat better, for example Yuca. We have to scan a food with our smartphone and a ratting appear. This application estimate quality products with 3 criterias :
Nutritional quality : this represents 60% of the ratting. It's including fat, sugar, salt.
30 % of the ratting rest on harmful additives for the health.
Finally ecology dimension represents 10 % of the ratting.

Moreover, state can be involved in junk food. Indeed, it's often poor people are suffering of obesity We can imagine that some institutions propose discount coupons for fresh fruits and vegetables.
In the same way, state could more taxed products rich in fat, sugar and salt. Howevver this poses a problem for occasional drinkers of sodas for example. They bear the cost of this junk food.

In France, we have a system to note the nutritional quality of food. It's called "Nutriscore". This program is based on a color gradient with letters. The healthy food is represented by the green color
where as the poor quality food is represented by the red color and the letter D.
Sponsored ads that show products too sweet to children should be banned. This has a bad influence on children because they see their idol eating that.
Food should be a subject taught at school from an early age to sensibilize to the junk food.

To limit snacking it is necessary to plan our meals, therefore we will not want a hamburger or a pizza.
We can also practice sport. Indeed sport reduce stress and stress secrete hormones that makes want to eat sweet and rich in fat.
I have some examples of replacement of junk food :

For aperitif, we can eat vegetables chips instead of chips rich in oil.
We can replace sodas by a more light drink, but it's including sweeteners and it's not very healthy. Freezing coffee or herbal tea can be a good alternatives.
Instead of buy industrial ice cream, we can realize our ice cream with mixed local fruits
If you forget your snack, you can use natural snack cuts like apple or water


-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 28-09-2019 09:27


Réponse : Junk food/correction de laure95, postée le 28-09-2019 à 17:50:27 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
- We have to scan a (pas d'article: food : nom indénombrable)food with our smartphone and a ratting appear (faute de conjugaison). This application estimate (faute de conjugaison)(article) quality products with 3 criterias :
- It's including: mal construit.
- 30 % of the ratting rest on harmful additives for the health:?
- Finally (article) ecology (mettre l'adjectif)dimension represents 10 % of the ratting.

- Moreover, (article)state can be involved in junk food.
- it's often poor people (mal dit)are suffering of (to suffer FROM) obesity
- In the same way, (article)state could more taxed (could + infinitif)products
- Howevver this poses (mot français)a problem

- This program is based on a color gradient with letters.
- The (pas de the) healthy food is represented by the green color
- where as (en un seul mot) the poor quality food is represented by the red color and the letter D.
- Sponsored (mettre au gérondif) ads that show products too sweet to children should be banned.
- to sensibilize to the (pas de the)junk food.

- Indeed sport reduce (faute de conjugaison) stress and stress secrete (faute de conjugaison)hormones that makes (faute de conjugaison)want (us)to eat sweet and rich in fat.

- For aperitif: mot français.
- it's including
- Freezing coffee or herbal tea can be a (a + singulier) good alternatives.
- Instead of buy (gérondif) industrial ice cream(s), we can realize (pas le bon mot ici) our ice cream with mixed local fruits
- like (article)apple or water



Réponse : Junk food/correction de toto1906, postée le 29-09-2019 à 16:33:16 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Merci beaucoup pour cette correction.
Je vous reposte le texte pour savoir s'il y a encore quelques erreurs ?
Merci d'avance.

Some applications help to eat better, for example Yuca. We have to scan food with our smartphone and a ratting appears. This application estimates the quality products with 3 criterias :
Nutritional quality : this represents 60% of the ratting. This includes fat, sugar, salt.
30 % of the ratting represents harmful additives for the health.
Finally the ecological dimension represents 10 % of the ratting.

Moreover,the state can be involved in junk food. Indeed, it's often the poor are suffering from obesity We can imagine that some institutions propose discount coupons for fresh fruits and vegetables.
In the same way the state could more taxe products rich in fat, sugar and salt. Howevver this causes a problem for occasional drinkers of sodas for example. They bear the cost of this junk food.

In France, we have a system to note the nutritional quality of food. It's called "Nutriscore". This program is based on a color gradient with letters. Healthy food is represented by the green color whereas the poor quality food is represented by the red color and the letter D.

Sponsoring ads that show products too sweet to children should be banned. This has a bad influence on children because they see their idol eating that.
Food should be a subject taught at school from an early age to sensibilize to junk food.
To limit snacking it is necessary to plan our meals, therefore we will not want a hamburger or a pizza.
We can also practice sport. Indeed sport reduces stress and stress secretes hormones that make want us to eat sweet and rich in fat.

I have some examples of replacement of junk food :
For pre-dinner, we can eat vegetables chips instead of chips rich in oil.
We can replace sodas by a more light drink, but this includes sweeteners and it's not very healthy. Freezing coffee or herbal tea can be a good alternative.
Instead of buying industrial ice creams, we can make our ice cream with mixed local fruits
If you forget your snack, you can use natural snack cuts such as apple or water



Réponse : Junk food/correction de here4u, postée le 29-09-2019 à 18:00:42 (S | E)
Hello!

Some applications help to eat better, for example Yuca. We have to scan food with our smartphone and a ratting appears. This application estimates the quality products with 3 criterias :
Nutritional quality : this represents 60% of the ratting. This includes fat, sugar, salt.
30 % of the ratting represents harmful additives for the health.
Finally the ecological dimension represents 10 % of the ratting.

Moreover,the state can be involved in junk food. Indeed, it's often the poor XXX(il manque un pronom relatif) are suffering from obesity. We can imagine that some institutions propose discount coupons for fresh fruits and vegetables.
In the same way the state could more taxe products (où est le verbe ?)rich in fat, sugar and salt. Howevver this causes a problem for occasional drinkers of sodas for example. They bear the cost of this junk food.(Why shouldn't they?)

In France, we have a system to note the nutritional quality of XXX food. It's called "Nutriscore". This program is based on a color gradient with letters. Healthy food is represented by the green color whereas the poor quality food is represented by the red color and the letter D.

Sponsoring ads that show products XXX XXX too sweet to children should be banned. This has a bad influence on children because they see their idol eating that.
Food should be a subject taught at school from an early age to sensibilize Lien internet
to junk food.
To limit snacking, it is necessary to plan our meals, therefore we will not want a hamburger or a pizza.
We can also practice sport. Indeed sport reduces stress and stress secretes hormones that make want us to eat sweet and rich in fat.

I have some examples of replacement of junk food:
For pre-dinner, we can eat vegetables chips instead of chips rich in oil.
We can replace sodas by a more light drink, but this includes sweeteners and it's not very healthy. Freezing coffee or herbal tea can be a good alternative.
Instead of buying industrial ice creams, we can make our ice creamS with mixed local fruits
If you forget your snack, you can use natural snack cuts such as XX apple or water




Réponse : Junk food/correction de toto1906, postée le 30-09-2019 à 19:50:30 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Je vous remercie pour cette correction, mais j'ai encore des doutes sur la correction de mes erreurs.
Pourriez-vous me dire si tout à bien été corrigé ?

Some applications help to eat better,for example Yuca.We have to scan food with our smartphone and a mark appears. This application estimates the product quality with 3 criteria :
Nutritional quality : this represents 60% of the mark. This includes fat, sugar, salt.
30 % of the mark represents harmful additives for the health.
Finally the ecological dimension represents 10 % of the mark.

Moreover,the state can be involved in junk food. Indeed, it's often the poor who are suffering from obesity We can imagine that some institutions propose discount coupons for fresh fruits and vegetables.
In the same way the state could more tax products rich in fat, sugar and salt. However this causes a problem for occasional drinkers of sodas for example. They bear the cost of this junk food.

In France, we have a system to note the nutritional quality of the food. It's called "Nutriscore". This program is based on a color gradient with letters. Healthy food is represented by the green color
whereas the poor quality food is represented by the red color and the letter D.

Sponsoring ads that show products who are too sweet for children should be banned. This has a bad influence on children because they see their idol eating that.
Food should be a subject taught at school from an early age to make aware of junk food.
To limit snacking it is necessary to plan our meals, therefore we will not want a hamburger or a pizza.
We can also practise sport. Indeed sport reduces stress and stress secretes hormones that make we want to eat sweet and rich in fat.
I have some examples of replacement of junk food :

For pre-dinner, we can eat vegetables chips instead of chips rich in oil.
We can replace sodas by a lighter drink, but this includes sweeteners and it is not very healthy. Freezing coffee or herbal tea can be a good alternative.
Instead of buying industrial ice creams, we can make our ice cream with mixed local fruits
If you forget your snack, you can use natural snack cuts such as an apple or water




Réponse : Junk food/correction de toto1906, postée le 07-10-2019 à 19:13:46 (S | E)
Bonjour,

Je retente ma chance mais serait-il possible d'avoir une correction de l'ancien texte.

D'avance, merci.



Réponse : Junk food/correction de here4u, postée le 08-10-2019 à 08:47:55 (S | E)
Hello!

"une correction de l'ancien texte." Quel "ancien" texte ? Soyez clair ...

Some applications help to eat better,for example Yuca. We have to scan food with our smartphone and a mark (rating, with one T, was good!) appears. This application estimates the product quality with 3 criteria :
Nutritional quality: this represents 60% of the mark. This includes fat, sugar, salt.
30 % of the mark represents harmful additives for the health.
Finally the ecological dimension represents 10 % of the mark.

Moreover,the state can be involved in junk food. Indeed, it's often the poor who are suffering from obesity We can imagine that some institutions propose discount coupons for fresh fruits and vegetables.
In the same way the state could more tax products rich (construction à revoir) in fat, sugar and salt. However this causes a problem for occasional drinkers of sodas for example. They bear the cost of this junk food.(So what?)

In France, we have a system to note the nutritional quality of the food. It's called "Nutriscore". This program is based on a color gradient with letters. Healthy food is represented by the green color whereas the poor quality food is represented by the red color and the letter D.

Sponsoring ads that show products who are too sweet for children should be banned. This has a bad influence on children because they see their idol eating that.
Food should be a subject taught at school from an early age to make aware of junk food. (clumsy!)
To limit snacking it is necessary to plan our meals, therefore we will not want a hamburger or a pizza.
We can also practise sport. Indeed sport reduces stress and stress secretes hormones that make we want to eat sweet and rich in fat.
I have some examples of replacement of junk food :

For pre-dinner, we can eat vegetables chips instead of chips rich in oil.(?? not clear!)Do you mean crisps? and potatoes are vegetables aren't they?
We can replace sodas by a lighter drink, but this includes sweeteners and it is not very healthy. FreezingIced? coffee or herbal tea can be a good alternative.
Instead of buying industrial ice creams, we can make our ice cream with mixed local fruits
If you forget your snack, you can use natural snack cuts such as an apple or water



Réponse : Junk food/correction de toto1906, postée le 08-10-2019 à 23:28:06 (S | E)
Bonjour,

J'ai essayé de corriger certaines erreurs que vous m'avez fait remarquer :

In the same way the state could tax products more rich in fat, sugar and salt.
Food should be a subject taught at school from an early age to raise awareness about junk food
Sponsoring ads that show products which are too sweet for children should be banned.

Cependant je ne vois pas comment corriger les phrases suivantes :
30 % of the mark represents harmful additives for the health : On est bien à la 3eme personne du
singulier
Moreover,the state can be involved in junk food.?? Indeed : Je ne vois pas ce qu'il manque.
For pre-dinner, we can eat vegetables chips instead of of greasy chips : Comment dire chips aux légumes ?



Réponse : Junk food/correction de here4u, postée le 09-10-2019 à 10:38:09 (S | E)
hello!

In the same way, the state could tax products XXXX XXX more rich in fat, sugar and salt.(Il faudrait expliciter avec un relatif ! Sans cela, la "phrase" n'est pas correcte ! )
Food should be a subject taught at school from an early age to raise awareness about junk food. OK
Sponsoring ads that show products which are too sweet for children should be banned.OK

Cependant je ne vois pas comment corriger les phrases suivantes :
30 % of the mark represents harmful additives for the health : On est bien à la 3eme personne du
singulier; Pour moi, 30% is plural... but you may, of course understand "the amount of..."

Moreover,the state can be involved in junk food.?? Indeed : Je ne vois pas ce qu'il manque. Sorry, but I don't understand what you mean... Can you be clearer?
For pre-dinner, we can eat vegetables chips instead of of greasy chips : Comment dire chips aux légumes ?
The problem is that ordinary crisps (potato crisps) are "vegetables"... Therefore, you need to be clearer...("low-carb crisps" would explain that it's the proportion of fat which is at stake... Lien internet
)



Réponse : Junk food/correction de toto1906, postée le 09-10-2019 à 12:23:45 (S | E)
Hello :

In the same way the state could tax products that more rich in fat, sugar and salt : Je ne suis pas sûr que ce soit ce pronom relatif
Moreover, the state could fight against junk food.
For pre-dinner, we can eat fried vegetables instead of greasy chips : I think it's better



Réponse : Junk food/correction de lucile83, postée le 09-10-2019 à 14:00:56 (S | E)
Hello,
In the same way the state could tax products that xxx more rich in fat, sugar and salt ...il manque un verbe; here4u avait écrit 2 fois xxx.



Réponse : Junk food/correction de gerondif, postée le 09-10-2019 à 15:54:41 (S | E)
Bonjour
More rich ou richer ?



Réponse : Junk food/correction de here4u, postée le 09-10-2019 à 19:11:12 (S | E)
Hello!

Richer, of course... (il serait encore mieux de remanier la phrase ... ou au moins de mettre "very rich" ...)





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