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Correction/satire

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction/satire
Message de lary974 posté le 29-02-2020 à 11:03:49 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
j'ai un essai sur le thème de la satire à faire comme exercice d'entrainement, dont le sujet est : Can you laugh at anything ?
Qu'en pensez-vous ?Je suis ouverte à tout type de conseil =)
Merci de votre aide.

New Yorker published a cartoon at 21 July 2008. This cartoon has provoked a tidal wave of outrage because we can see Barack OBAMA and his wife are wearing Muslim dress and camouflage clothing. This document is satire : it consists to critizen people or an idea an humorous way. So can we laugh at anything ? Without limit ?

Firstly, it is important that Media and people feel free when they express their ideas. They can use different formats as videos, newspapers and drawing to spread the word. Satire permits people to deal with serious topics using a humor.

For example, an American cartoon called The Simpson which drawing by a lot of people. This cartoon represents a nuclear American family in their everyday life. The main topics deals with serious topics like control guns, immigrations... . Although thousands of million people watch it, a part of people do not watch it because their think it not represents the real values of American.

Secondly, although satire guarantees fundamentally laws by freedom of expression but sometimes the message was misinterpreted. Accordingly people do not agree with the document and denounce it.

For example, a drawing published by New Yorker newspaper about Barack Obama. When you see this document, Barack Obama represents all anti-American values although he was standing for election to United States president. If people do not know the satire concept, he can think that it is real and to decide not to elect Barack Obama.

I think satire is very important in the democracy country because it represents freedom. However some satirical documents should not harm to any person. It is difficult to accept laughing at everything because some satirical documents are on the verge of racism or discriminatory.



Réponse : Correction/satire de here4u, postée le 29-02-2020 à 15:33:07 (S | E)
Hello!

XX New Yorker published a cartoon at 21 July 2008. This cartoon has provoked a tidal wave of outrage because we can see Barack OBAMA and his wife are wearing Muslim dress and camouflage clothing. This document is X satire : it consists to critizen people or an idea XX an humorous way. So can we laugh at anything ? Without limit ?

Firstly, it is important that Media and people feel free when they express their ideas. They can use different formats as videos, newspapers and drawing to spread the word. Satire permits people to deal with serious topics using a humor.

For example, an American cartoon called The Simpson which drawing by a lot of people. This cartoon represents a nuclear American family in their everyday life. The main topics deals with serious topics like control guns, immigrations... . Although thousands of million people watch it, a part of people do not watch it because their think it not represents the real values of American.

Secondly, although satire guarantees fundamentally(ordre des mots) laws by XXX freedom of expression but sometimes the message was misinterpreted. Accordingly people do not agree with the document and denounce it.

For example, a drawing published by XXX New Yorker (newspaper) about Barack Obama(ceci n'est pas une phrase!). When you see this document, Barack Obama represents all anti-American values although he was standing for election to United States president. If people do not know the satire concept, he(who?) can think that it is real and to decide not to elect Barack Obama.

I think satire is very important in the democracy country because it represents freedom. However some satirical documents should not harm to any person. It is difficult to accept laughing at everything because some satirical documents are on the verge of racism or discriminatory.





Réponse : Correction/satire de lary974, postée le 29-02-2020 à 20:14:14 (S | E)
Hi !
I try to write only English to increase my English learning.
Thanks for your time and correction.
It's possible to have more precisions about your correction ?
Thank you =)



Réponse : Correction/satire de gerondif, postée le 29-02-2020 à 22:54:25 (S | E)
Hello
We show you what's wrong so that you can post a corrected version of your text. If, by "more precisions", you wish the site to correct your text and provide you with a brand new corrected version of it, it's not going to happen.
What is in blue is wrong. XXX indicate that an article is missing. represents a serious grammar mistake, mistaking their and they for instance or inventing a conjugation, like "it not represents" instead of it doesn't represent.
Your text sounds like translated French in a litteral manner.



Réponse : Correction/satire de lary974, postée le 01-03-2020 à 18:58:33 (S | E)
Hi
Thanks for your answer.

I would like to understand the correction in order to increase my English.
When I've writing an essay English I've first writing in French and translate it.
So I make a lot of mistakes and I don't know how working to translate correctly.



Réponse : Correction/satire de gerondif, postée le 01-03-2020 à 21:22:57 (S | E)
Bonsoir
I would like to understand the correction in order to increase improve my English.
When I've writingI write an English essay an essay English I've first writing(que vient faire un auxilaire avoir dans un présent en ing d'ailleurs mal utilisé ici ?)I first write in French and translate it.
So I make a lot of mistakes and I don't know how workingto work to translate correctly.
erreurs en bleu
(manque un article défini)New Yorker published a cartoon at(mauvais choix de préposition) 21 July 2008. This cartoon has provoked a tidal wave of outrage because we can see that Barack OBAMA and his wife are wearing Muslim dress and camouflage clothing. This document is (article indéfini)satire (ou mettez l'adjectif satirical) : it consists to in + ing) critizen(verbe ijventé) people or an idea in an humorous way. So can we laugh at anything ? Without limit ?

Firstly, it is important (la structure est it is imortant for me to do that) that Media and people feel free when they express their ideas. They can use different formats such as videos, newspapers and drawing to spread the word. Satire permits (plutôt allows, permits fait trop français) people to deal with serious topics using a(à ôter) humor.

For example, an American cartoon called The Simpson which drawing(qui est dessiné ? qui est lu ? manque l'auxiliaire être) by a lot of people. This cartoon represents a nuclear(sens?) American family in their everyday life. The main topics deals with (on dit is about) serious topics like control guns(à inverser), immigrations... . Although thousands of millions of people watch it, a part of some people do not watch it because their think it not represents(grammaire!!) the real values of America.

Secondly, although satire guarantees fundamentally laws by freedom of expression (charabia incompréhensible ! la satire est garantie fondamentalement par les lois sur la liberté d'expression ? mettez cela en ordre) but(ne va pas derrière une subordonnée commençant par bien que) sometimes the message was misinterpreted. Accordingly people do not agree with the document and denounce it.

For example, a drawing published by the New Yorker newspaper about Barack Obama (pas de verbe ?). When you see this document, Barack Obama represents all anti-American values although he was standing for election to United States president(ordre des mots). If people do not know the satire concept, he(people est pluriel) can think that it is real and to(^à ôter) decide not to elect Barack Obama.

I think satire is very important in the democracy country(dans un pays démocratique ou dans le pays de la démocratie ? A mettre en ordre) because it represents freedom. However some satirical documents should not harm to(verbe transitif) any person(on dit anybody). It is difficult to accept laughing at everything because some satirical documents are on the verge of racism or discriminatory.

A vous de proposer une version corrigée.



Réponse : Correction/satire de lary974, postée le 01-03-2020 à 22:19:24 (S | E)
Thanks a lot.

I'm working about these mistakes.
Thank you




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