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Correction /Analyse

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais : Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction /Analyse
Message de roy10 posté le 02-05-2020 à 00:37:22 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir,
J’espère que vous allez tous très bien. Serait-il possible de m’aider à améliorer mon analyse Svp s'il vous plait ?
Le texte est un peu long désolé.
Merci d’avance à ceux qui prendront le temps de répondre !

This text is extract from the book The Haunting of Hill House written by Shirley Jackson in 1959. Let's try to analyse this extract.

First of all, we can briefly recap what this extract is about : Shirley Jackson describes the "Hill House" and we know that a woman named "Eleanor" is going to enter into.
To begin, this house is depicted to afraid the reader and create an atmosphere like in an horror movie. Indeed, we can notice the important presence of the lexical field of evil in the description of the house : "a place of despair", "frightening", "without kindness" etc. Therefore, the reader understands immediately that something is wrong with this house.
Moreover, in this description, the narrator uses the personification : she attributes human characteristics to the house. It said that "the face of Hill House seemed awake". We can make a link with the cartoon movie Monster House : it is the story of a teenager named DJ who thinks that the house of his neighbor is haunted and he has right. It is haunted by the death wife of his neighbor. It has the particularity to look like a human and afraid the ones who approach. The effect of this personification is, on one hand, to make the story more attractive so the reader wants to read the next part. On the other hand, it makes the house more terrifying.
Finally, we can add that we have also a moral characterization of the house because it is said that it is "without kindness" and "not a fit place for people or for love". It contributes to give an evil aspect to the house and to represent house like something which can't beat especially when the narrator told even the "Exorcism cannot alter the countenance of the house". Hill House seems to be superior of everything. All in all, this description permits to put a dread atmosphere which frightens Eleanor.

Shirley Jackson depicted Eleanor as a women afraid by the Hill House. Her fear can be easily conveyed by the author because we have access to her feeling : she thought that she " should have turned back at the gate". With that indication, we can put ourselves in Eleanor's place and so it is like we also live this moment. It is easier to identify to her.
Another point is that the length of sentences translate the mind of Eleanor : the second paragraph of the text is composed by only two sentences and the second one takes eight lines. This long sentence illustrates emphasis on the doubt of Eleanor. The juxtaposition of proposition shows she thinks about a lot of things at the same time because she doesn't know if she enters into the house or not. By the way, her movements are not sure ("her hands nervously"). That is another point to show she is overcome by dread. In the end of the extract, it is explicitly said "she was afraid.
On top of that, we can say that there is a sort of fight between she and her mind because she does things that she doesn't want to do. That is why there is a "sick voice" inside her whispered "Get away from her, get away". The reception of "Get away" shows another time her panic. Overall, the second paragraph indicates Eleanor will take the wrong decision.

We can relate this extract with the quote of Monica Michlin because as she said, trauma occurs near the Hill House. Also, it is not just because the house is haunted so Eleanor is afraid but she is because she started to imagine some creepy stories. She convinced her mind that something is wrong so she lose her composure. As we said, her movements are more and more sure. To sum up, this extract confirms that The Haunting of Hill House is a contemporary gothic narratives.

To conclude, the goal of this extract is to depict the Hill House as a terrific place and to show with the attitude of Eleanor that she would not have ventured into. The end let predict that once into the house, Eleanor is going to live paranormal things.


------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 02-05-2020 11:14
SVP n'a pas sa place sur les forums



Réponse : Correction /Analyse de vaiana, postée le 02-05-2020 à 02:18:45 (S | E)
Hello Here are my suggestions

This text is extract from the book The Haunting of Hill House written by Shirley Jackson in 1959. Let's try to analyse this extract /it (to avoid the repetition).

First of all, we can briefly recap what this extract/excerpt (repetition) is about : Shirley Jackson describes the "Hill House" and we know that a woman named "Eleanor" is going to enter into it.

To begin with, this house is depicted to afraid the reader and create an atmosphere like in an horror movie a horror-movie atmosphere. Indeed, we can notice the important presence of the lexical field of evil in the description of the house : "a place of despair", "frightening", "without kindness" etc. Therefore, the reader immediately understands that something is wrong with this house.
Moreover, in this description, the narrator uses the personification : she attributes human characteristics to the house. It said that "the face of Hill House seemed awake". We can make a link with the cartoon movie Monster House (: it), which is the story of a teenager named DJ who thinks that the house of his neighbor is haunted and he has right. It is haunted by the death (you need an adjective here) wife of his neighbor. It has the particularity to look like a human and afraid the ones who approach it. The effect of this personification is, on one hand, to make the story more attractive so that the reader wants to read the next part. On the other hand, it makes the house more terrifying.
Finally, we can add that we also have a moral characterization of the house because it is said that it is "without kindness" and "not a fit place for people or for love". It contributes to give an evil aspect to the house and to represent .... house like something which can't beat especially when the narrator told that even the "Exorcism cannot alter the countenance of the house". Hill House seems to be superior of everything. All in all, this description permits to put a dread atmosphere which frightens Eleanor.

Shirley Jackson depicted/portrayed Eleanor as a women afraid by the Hill House. Her fear is easily conveyed by the author because we have access to her feelings : she thought that she " should have turned back at the gate". With that indication, we can put ourselves in Eleanor's place and so it is like we also live this moment. It is easier to identify WITH her.
Another point is that the length of THE sentences translateS the state of mind of Eleanor : the second paragraph of the text is composed by/made with only two sentences and the second one takes eight lines /is eight-line long. This long sentence illustrates emphasis on the doubt of Eleanor. The juxtaposition of proposition shows she thinks about a lot of things at the same time because she doesn't know whether she must enter (into) the house or not. By the way, her movements are not sure ("her hands nervously"). That is another point to show she is overcome by dread. In (wrong preposition) the end of the extract, it is explicitly said "she was afraid.
On top of that, we can say that there is a sort of fight between she and her mind because she does things that she doesn't want to (do). That is why there is a "sick voice" inside her whispering "Get away from her, get away". The reception of "Get away" shows another time her panic. Overall, the second paragraph indicates Eleanor will make the wrong decision.

We can relate/link this extract with the quote of Monica Michlin because as she said, trauma occurs near the Hill House. Also, it is not just because the house is haunted that Eleanor is afraid but she is because she starts imagining some creepy stories. She convinces her mind that something is wrong so she lose (conjugation) her composure. As we said, her movements are more and more sure. To sum up, this extract confirms that The Haunting of Hill House is a contemporary gothic narratives.

To conclude, the goal of this extract/excerpt/work... is to depict the Hill House as a terrific place and to show with/through the attitude of Eleanor that she would (wrong modal) not have ventured into. The end let predict that once into the house, Eleanor is going to live paranormal things.



Réponse : Correction /Analyse de here4u, postée le 02-05-2020 à 11:55:07 (S | E)
Hello!

blue= wrong; = not really satisfactory...

First of all, we can briefly recap what this extract is about : Shirley Jackson describes the "Hill House" and we know that a woman named "Eleanor" is going to enter into XX .
To begin XXXX, this house is depicted to afraid the reader and XX create an atmosphere like in an horror movie. Indeed, we can notice the important presence of the lexical field of evil in the description of the house: "a place of despair", "frightening", "without kindness" etc. Therefore, the reader understands immediately that something is wrong with this house.
Moreover, in this description, the narrator uses the personification : she attributes human characteristics to the house. It said ? (it is said?) that "the face of Hill House seemed awake". We can make a link with the cartoon movie Monster House: it is the story of a teenager named DJ who thinks that the house of his neighbor is haunted and he has right . It is haunted by the death wife of his neighbor. It has the particularity to look like a human and afraid the ones who approach. The effect of this personification is, on one hand, to make the story more attractive so the reader wants to read the next part. On the other hand, it makes the house more terrifying.
Finally, we can add that we have also a moral characterization of the house because it is said that it is "without kindness" and "not a fit place for people or for love". It contributes to give an evil aspect to the house and to represent XXX house like something which can't beat especially when the narrator told even the "Exorcism cannot alter the countenance of the house". Hill House seems to be superior of everything. All in all, this description permits to put a dread (dread is a noun... you want an adjective!) atmosphere which frightens Eleanor.

Shirley Jackson depicted Eleanor as a women xx xx afraid by the Hill House. Her fear can be easily conveyed by the author because we have access to her feelings: she thought that she " should have turned back at the gate". With that indication, we can put ourselves in Eleanor's place and so it is like we also live this moment. It is easier to identify to her.
Another point is that the length of XXX sentences translate the mind of Eleanor : the second paragraph of the text is composed by only two sentences and the second one takes eight lines. This long sentence illustrates XX emphasis on the doubt of Eleanor. The juxtaposition of proposition shows she thinks about a lot of things at the same time because she doesn't know if she enters(tense?) into the house or not. By the way, her movements are not sure ("her hands nervously"). That is another point to show she is overcome by dread. In the end of the extract, it is explicitly said "she was afraid.
On top of that, we can say that there is a sort of fight between she and her mind because she does things that she doesn't want to do. That is why there is a "sick voice" inside her whispered "Get away from her, get away". The reception of "Get away" shows another time her panic. Overall, the second paragraph indicates Eleanor will take the wrong decision.

We can relate this extract with the quote of Monica Michlin because as she said, trauma occurs near the Hill House. Also, it is not just because the house is haunted so Eleanor is afraid but she is because she started to imagine some creepy stories. She convinced her mind that something is wrong so she lose her composure. As we said, her movements are more and more sure. To sum up, this extract confirms that The Haunting of Hill House is a contemporary gothic narratives.

Lien internet


To conclude, the goal of this extract is to depict the Hill House as a terrific place and to show with the attitude of Eleanor that she would not have ventured into XX. The end let predict that once into the house, Eleanor is going to live paranormal things.





Réponse : Correction /Analyse de roy10, postée le 02-05-2020 à 17:30:59 (S | E)
Bonjour, merci pour vos réponses. J'ai essayé de corriger mes erreurs:


This text is extract from the book The Haunting of Hill House written by Shirley Jackson in 1959. Let's try to analyse it.

First of all, we can briefly recap what this excerpt is about : Shirley Jackson describes "Hill House" and we know that a woman named "Eleanor" is going to enter it.

To begin with, this house is depicted to scare the reader and create a horror-movie atmosphere. Indeed, we can notice the important presence of the lexical field of evil in the description of the house : "a place of despair", "frightening", "without kindness" etc. Therefore, the reader immediately understands that something is wrong with this house.
Moreover, in this description, the narrator uses personification : she attributes human characteristics to the house. It is said that "the face of Hill House seemed awake". We can make a link with the cartoon movie Monster House which is the story of a teenager named DJ who thinks that the house of his neighbor is haunted and he is right. It is haunted by the dead wife of his neighbor. It has the particularity to look like a human and frighten the ones who approach it. The effect of this personification is, on one hand, to make the story more attractive so that the reader wants to read the next part. On the other hand, it makes the house more terrifying.
Finally, we can add that we also have a moral characterization of the house because it is said that it is "without kindness" and "not a fit place for people or for love". It contributes to give an evil aspect to the house and to represent the house like something which can't be beaten especially when the narrator told that even the "Exorcism cannot alter the countenance of the house". Hill House seems to be superior to everything. All in all, this description permits to put a dreadful atmosphere which frightens Eleanor.

Shirley Jackson portrayed Eleanor as a woman afraid of Hill House. Her fear is easily conveyed by the author because we have access to her feelings : she thought that she " should have turned back at the gate". With that indication, we can put ourselves in Eleanor's place and so it is like we also live this moment. It is easier to identify with her.
Another point is that the length of the sentences translates the state of mind of Eleanor : the second paragraph of the text is made with only two sentences and the second one is eight-line long. This long sentence illustrates emphasis on the doubt of Eleanor. The juxtaposition of propositions shows she thinks about a lot of things at the same time because she doesn't know whether she must enter the house. By the way, her movements are not sure ("her hands nervously"). That is another point to show she is overcome by dread. At the end of the extract, it is explicitly said "she was afraid.
On top of that, we can say that there is a sort of fight between she and her mind because she does things that she doesn't want to do. That is why there is a "sick voice" inside her whispering "Get away from her, get away". The repetition of "Get away" shows another time her panic. Overall, the second paragraph indicates Eleanor will make the wrong decision.

We can link this extract with Monica Michlin's quote because as she said, trauma occurs near the Hill House. Also, it is not just because the house is haunted that Eleanor is afraid but she is because she starts imagining some creepy stories. She convinces her mind that something is wrong that is why she loses her composure. As we said, her movements are less and less sure. To sm up, this extract confirms that The Haunting of Hill House is a contemporary gothic narrative.

To conclude, the goal of this work is to depict Hill House as a terrific place and to show through Eleanor's attitude that she will not have ventured in. The end let predict that once into the house, Eleanor is going to live paranormal things.




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