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Aide/correction

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais : Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Aide/correction
Message de nia234 posté le 12-02-2021 à 14:36:52 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
j’ai besoin d’une correction s'il vous plait pour mon texte en anglais sur le prétérit simple, prétérit B-ing, voix passive et hypothèses(MAY,MUST,DIDN’T)
Merci pour vos réponses.
Voici le texte:

The manor house has belonged to the Eldritch family for centuries.
Ambrose Eldritch must had lived alone for the middle part of his life.
He was a shy and reclusive old man who did not want to face the world.
He locked himself up in the mansion and never came out.
No one may had seen him for many years.
At his death his nephew Elison who was his closest living relative inherited the mansion.
After the funeral Elison went to the notary's office and signed all the necessary papers.
The manor was now his.
After a short reflection, he had decided to live there.
Elison had found the family mausoleum that had contained the remains for generations and generations of Eldritch.
All these ancestors were buried
in this mausoleum with his uncle.
Tired of his long day he had gone to bed.

He went out of his bed and caught his torch and went into the direction of the mausoleum to see if something had moved. Barely arrived, he immediately saw that the trap had been carefully "removed" from the entrance, he rushed inside and discovered that his uncle coffin had been opened and the body had been more devoured. One of his eyes had disappeared and the other one was dangling from his eye-socket.
It was scary to see.

Almost all the flesh had been ripped of his face, exposing the skull which was underneath. In a way, or another the Goul must had succeeded to reach the body. scared Elison called immediately the police, and she explained to them what had just happened et she required their help.

The next day two police officers came in order to keep the mausoleum and leding an investigation At night time, while the policemen were guarding the monument by a particularly cold weather and a dark sky

Elison was satting by the fire reading a book, after a while he started to fall asleep, he was suddenly woke up to the sounds of piercing screams and when he was opening his eyes he found himself face to face with the flashlight pointed straight at him. Elison was looked around and discovered that he was in the mausoleum. The policemen were holding at the entrance, their lamps pointing at him. Their faces were sinisterd. Getting used to the light he was realized he was standing near his uncle's coffin. He tried to ask for an explanation but something in his mouth prevented him from speaking, something tender and bitter. He was slowly lowered his eyes to his hands, terrified to understand and to his horror he saw that he was holding the remains of a half-eaten human.


------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 12-02-2021 14:48
Gris



Réponse : Aide/correction de gerondif, postée le 12-02-2021 à 14:53:19 (S | E)
Bonjour
Erreurs en bleu

The manor house has belonged (plutôt un past perfect) to the Eldritch family for centuries.
Ambrose Eldritch must had lived alone for the middle part of his life. (temps mal construit et qui en fait n'a rien à faire là, logiquement)
He was a shy and reclusive old man who did not want to face the world.
He locked himself up in the mansion and never came out.
No one may had seen him for many years.(temps mal construit et qui en fait n'a rien à faire là, logiquement)
At his death his nephew Elison who was his closest living relative inherited the mansion.
After the funeral, Elison went to the notary's office and signed all the necessary papers.
The manor was now his.
After a short reflection, he had decided to live there.(pourquoi repasser en antériorité ? le prétérit suffit.)
Elison had found the family mausoleum that had contained the remains for generations and generations of Eldritches.
All these ancestors were buried (vous avez confondu ces démonstratif et ses possessifs)
in this mausoleum with his uncle.
Tired of his long day he had gone to bed.

He went out of his bed and caught(prit sa torche, il ne l'a pas attrapée au vol) his torch and went into the direction of the mausoleum to see if something had moved. Barely arrived, he immediately saw that the trap had been carefully "removed" from the entrance, he rushed inside and discovered that his uncle coffin had been opened and the body had been more devoured(inversez. Cela implique donc qu'il en manquait déjà des morceaux avant). One of his eyes had disappeared and the other one was dangling from his eye-socket.
It was scary to see.

Almost all the flesh had been ripped off his face, exposing the skull which was underneath. In one way or another, the Goul must had succeeded (construction) to reach the body. scared ,Elison called immediately(mettez l'adverbe devant le verbe) the police, and she explained to them what had just happened et she required their help.

The next day, two police officers came in order to keep watch on(to keep tout seul signiferait garder, ne pas rendre) the mausoleum and leding(infinitif) an investigation At night time, while the policemen were guarding the monument by(in) a particularly cold weather and (sous un ciel...)a dark sky
Elison was satting (sitting!!) by the fire reading a book, after a while he started to fall asleep, (soit, he woke to, soiy he was woken by)he was suddenly woken up to the sounds of piercing screams and when he was opening (prétérit simple) his eyes he found himself face to face with the flashlight pointed straight at him. Elison was looked around and discovered that he was in the mausoleum. The policemen were holding(traduction mot-à-mot pour dirent se tenaient, comme si'ls se tenaient l'un l'autre ! Conguguez to stand) at the entrance, their lamps pointing at him. Their faces were sinisterd. Getting used to the light he was realized he was standing near his uncle's coffin. He tried to ask for an explanation but something in his mouth prevented him from speaking, something tender and bitter. He was slowly lowered his eyes to his hands, terrified to understand and to his horror he saw that he was holding the remains of a half-eaten human being.



Réponse : Aide/correction de nia234, postée le 12-02-2021 à 18:39:27 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup.




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