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Ecrit anglais /correction

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais : Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Ecrit anglais /correction
Message de arthur55 posté le 29-12-2021 à 18:01:22 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je dois rendre un travail écrit sur un Objet connecté, ici les serrures connectées dans le cadre de mon cours d'anglais et j'aimerais beaucoup le faire corriger par une personne qui maitrise la langue si possible.
Merci d'avance pour votre temps


I'm going to introduce you to a great connected object that can make your life easier every day, namely smart locks.

A few years ago I was coming back from school, my parents were not at home so I had to walk home. However, once I arrived at my door I realized that I didn't have my key... my parents couldn't come back right away so I had to go to My Neighbor's to avoid staying outside in the rain.
This mishap would not have happened to me if I had had a smart lock. Indeed, this object allows you to simply replace your key. Thanks to this object you can lock and unlock your door with your smartphone
The prices of these smart locks vary greatly depending on the number of features, materials etc. from a hundred euros to over 500 euros.

Connected locks have many advantages in addition to solving the problem of forgotten keys. Thanks to it you will have the possibility to give access to your house to the people of your choice without having to leave them a key you can even indicate the period during which the guest will have access to your house. This can be very useful if for example you are at work and a person like a plumber, cleaning lady has to come and do some work at your house.

Unfortunately this object has also some disadvantages, the most important of them is of course the risk of hacking. A connected lock is like a mini-computer and as such can be easily corrupted. To solve this problem updates are available regularly and it is very important to do all of them as soon as they come out.

Another security problem could be the theft of your smartphone or the smartphone of someone you have given permission to enter. Thanks to your smartphone the thief could break into your house. To solve this problem we could use biometric locks that would open my door with a fingerprint.


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Modifié par lucile83 le 29-12-2021 21:05
gris et mise en forme



Réponse : Ecrit anglais /correction de gerondif, postée le 30-12-2021 à 18:19:10 (S | E)
Bonjour
I'm going to introduce you to a great connected object that can make your life easier every day, namely smart locks.

A few years ago (virgule) I was coming back from school, my parents were not at home so I had to walk home (pas logique. Ils n'étaient pas venus me chercher, alors j'ai du marcher serait logique). However, once I arrived at my door(virgule) I realized that I didn't have my key... my parents couldn't come back right away so I had to go to My Neighbor's (majuscules inutiles) to avoid staying outside in the rain.
This mishap would not have happened to me if I had had a smart lock. Indeed, this object allows you to simply replace your key (pas très clair. this object allows you to go in without a key, you become the key.). Thanks to this object (virgule) you can lock and unlock your door with your smartphone.
The prices of these smart locks vary greatly depending on the number of features, the type of materials used (what it is made of), etc. from a hundred euros to over 500 euros.

Connected locks have many advantages in addition to solving the problem of forgotten keys. Thanks to it(it est cingulier alors que connected lockes est pluriel) you will have the possibility to give access to your house to the people of your choice without having to leave them a key (point) you can even indicate the period during which the guest will have access to your house. This can be very useful if for example you are at work and a person like a plumber, a cleaning lady has to come and do some work at your house.

Unfortunately (virgule) this object has also (mettez also devant le verbe) some disadvantages, the most important of them is of course the risk of hacking. A connected lock is like a mini-computer and as such can be easily corrupted. To solve this problem(virgule) updates are available regularly and it is very important to do (maladroit. to upload) all of them as soon as they come out.

Another security problem could be the theft of your smartphone or the smartphone of someone to whom you have given permission to enter. Thanks to your smartphone (virgule)the thief could break into your house. To solve this problem we could use biometric locks that would open my(faites correspondre sujet et possesseur) door with a fingerprint.




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