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Mobiles 'as risky as ... (correction (1)

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Mobiles 'as risky as ... (correction
Message de chacharlotte posté le 07-05-2008 à 09:44:40 (S | E | F)

Bonjour,

Je m'entraîne pour mon oral d'anglais. Je dois présenter un texte et le commenter. J'ai trouvé un texte et je voudrais savoir s'il est possible que vous me le corrigiez, s'il vous plaît.
Voici le texte :

Mobiles 'as risky as drink-driving'

A new study has found that talking on mobile phones while driving is as dangerous as driving under the influence of alcohol.
Psychologists at the University of Utah in America unveiled their findings, three years after reporting the preliminary results of their study.
Assistant professor of psychology Frank Drews, the study's co-author, said : "We found that people are impaired when they drive and talk on a cell phone as they drive intoxicated at the legal blood-alcohol limit of 0.08%, which is the minimum level that defines illegal drunken driving in most US states."
He added :"If legislators really want to address driver distraction, then they should consoder outlawing celle phone use while driving."
Forty people took part in the study. Each had to drive a PatrolSim driving simulator four times - once each while not distracted, using a mobile phone, using a hands-free phone and while intoxicated to the 0.08% blood-alcohol level after drinking vodka and orange juice.
Particpants followed a simulated "pace" car that braked intermittenly.
Both hand-held and hands-free phones impaired driving, with no significant difference in the degree of impairment.
The findings called into question driving regulations that ban hand-hald mobile phones and permit hands-free mobile phones, the researchers said.
The study concluded : "Neither accident rates, nor reaction times to vehicles braking in front of the participant, nor recovery of lost speed following braking differed significantly from undistracted drivers.
"Impairments associated wtih using a cell phone while driving can be as profound as those associated with driving while drunk."

From Press Association
Friday June 30, 2006

Voici ma présentation :

Mobiles 'as risky drink-driving' is an article which was extracted from Press Association and it was written on Friday June, 30 2006.
This text deals with risky connected with driving while using a mobile.
The scientific study look place at the University of Utah by psychologists. 40 people have participated in the experiment. Each subject had to drive under 4 different conditions : normally, using a celle phone, using a hands-free phone and under the influence of alcohol. It shows that driving with a legal blood-alcohol rate of 0.08% is as dangerous as driving using a mobile.
Besides driving using a cell phone is as prejudiciable as driving using a hand-held mobile phones, according the study. That's why psychologists think that hand-free mobile should be forbidden as hand-held mobile.

Of course the technology improve the means of communication. And yet they have an influence of our concentration while we drive. Thus the drivers run th risk to commit an accident.
I share the opinion of researchers : cell mobile phone should be forbidden while driving.
But I ask me of the use of the GPS has an influence of driving. I think that yes. But we can't all forbidden. For my part, I think that of course bans can be "mises en place" because it reduces the rate of accident. But I think unfortunately there will have always infractions. Every body knows it's extremely dangerous to drive under the influence of alcohol or using a cell phone. And still, it's easy to meet drivers which are drinving while using their mobile phone. That shows those person are irresponsible. Policy had to increase its control in order to decrease the number of accidents.

Je vous remercie d'avance.

-------------------
Modifié par bridg le 07-05-2008 13:52


Réponse: Mobiles 'as risky as ... (correction de gee, postée le 07-05-2008 à 21:30:51 (S | E)
Mobiles 'as risky drink-driving' is an article which was extracted from Press Association and it was written on Friday June, 30, 2006.
This text deals with risky (risk) connected with driving while using a mobile.
The scientific study look place at the University of Utah (...) by psychologists.
It didn't take place by psychologists but was carried out by psychologists.

40 people have participated in the experiment. (preterit: They took part)

Each subject had to drive under 4 different conditions : normally, using a celle phone, using a hands-free phone and under the influence of alcohol. It shows that driving with a legal blood-alcohol rate of 0.08% is as dangerous as driving using a mobile.
(It's rather the contrary that is to be demonstrated: that driving by phoning is as dangerous than driving drunk.)

Besides driving using a cell phone is as prejudiciable as driving using a hand-held mobile phones, according (...missing particle) the study. That's why psychologists think that hand-free mobile should be forbidden as hand-held mobile.

Of course the technology improve the means of communication. And yet they have an influence of our concentration while we drive. Thus the drivers run the risk to commit an accident.
("Commit" an accident is very strong, you commit crimes, suicides...)

I share the opinion of (... article because a precise reseach is at hand)researchers : cell mobile phone should be forbidden while driving.
But I ask me (I'd say: I ask to myself) of the use of the GPS has an influence of driving. I think that yes.(= I think it has.) But we can't all forbidden. (forbidden is an adjective, use the verb.)

For my part, I think that of course bans can (why don't you use "may") be "mises en place" (is it usual in English? I don't know. If not, look for a verb like to enforce.) because it reduces the rate of accidents.

But I think unfortunately there will have always infractions. You don't think unfortunately! You think that offences unfortunately will happen anyhow.

Every body knows it's extremely dangerous to drive under the influence of alcohol or using a cell phone. And still, it's easy to meet drivers which are drinving while using their mobile phone. That shows those person are irresponsible. Policy had to increase its control in order to (...) decrease the number of accidents.
Policy is not police, have a look at your dico.
I'd say: ..to make the accidents number decrease.

Might this help.


Réponse: Mobiles 'as risky as ... (correction de chacharlotte, postée le 09-05-2008 à 11:47:12 (S | E)
Alors, j'ai essayé de corriger :

The scientific study look place at the University of Utah and was conducted by psychologists
"40 people have participated in the experiment. (preterit: They took part)" Je ne comprends pas "participate in" ça ne se dit pas ?

Besides driving using a celle phone is as prejudiciable as driving using a hand-held mobile phones, according to the study
I share the opinion of the researchers : cell mobile phone should be forbidden while driving.
But I ask to myself of the use of the GPS has an influence of driving. I think it has. But we can't all forbid. For my part, I think that of course bans may be created because it reduces the rate of accidents.

But I think there will happen always offences unfortunately.

Every body knows it's extremely dangerous to drive under the influence of alcohol or using a celle phone. And still, it's easy to meet drivers which are drinving while using their mobile phone. That shows those person are irresponsible. Police had to increase its control in order to make the accidents number decrease.
Je ne peux pas dire "to make decrease the accidents number "?


Réponse: Mobiles 'as risky as ... (correction de iirane, postée le 20-05-2008 à 18:03:34 (S | E)
coucou la nouvelle reponse
Je m'entraîne pour mon oral d'anglais. Je dois présenter un texte et le commenter. J'ai trouvé un texte et je voudrais savoir s'il est possible que vous me le corrigiez, s'il vous plaît.
Voici le texte :

Mobiles 'as risky as drink-driving'

A new study has found that talking on mobile phones while driving is as dangerous as driving under the influence of alcohol.
Psychologists at the University of Utah in America unveiled their findings, three years after reporting the preliminary results of their study.
Assistant professor of psychology Frank Drews, the study's co-author, said : "We found that people are impaired when they drive and talk on a cell phone as they drive intoxicated at the legal blood-alcohol limit of 0.08%, which is the minimum level that defines illegal drunken driving in most US states."
He added :"If legislators really want to address driver distraction, then they should consoder outlawing celle phone use while driving."
Forty people took part in the study. Each had to drive a PatrolSim driving simulator four times - once each while not distracted, using a mobile phone, using a hands-free phone and while intoxicated to the 0.08% blood-alcohol level after drinking vodka and orange juice.
Particpants followed a simulated "pace" car that braked intermittenly.
Both hand-held and hands-free phones impaired driving, with no significant difference in the degree of impairment.
The findings called into question driving regulations that ban hand-hald mobile phones and permit hands-free mobile phones, the researchers said.
The study concluded : "Neither accident rates, nor reaction times to vehicles braking in front of the participant, nor recovery of lost speed following braking differed significantly from undistracted drivers.
"Impairments associated wtih using a cell phone while driving can be as profound as those associated with driving while drunk."

From Press Association
Friday June 30, 2006

Voici ma présentation :

Mobiles 'as risky drink-driving' is an article which was extracted from Press Association and it was written on Friday June, 30 2006.
This text deals with risky connected with driving while using a mobile.
The scientific study look place at the University of Utah by psychologists. 40 people have participated in the experiment. Each subject had to drive under 4 different conditions : normally, using a celle phone, using a hands-free phone and under the influence of alcohol. It shows that driving with a legal blood-alcohol rate of 0.08% is as dangerous as driving using a mobile.
Besides driving using a cell phone is as prejudiciable as driving using a hand-held mobile phones, according the study. That's why psychologists think that hand-free mobile should be forbidden as hand-held mobile.

Of course the technology improve the means of communication. And yet they have an influence of our concentration while we drive. Thus the drivers run th risk to commit an accident.
I share the opinion of researchers : cell mobile phone should be forbidden while driving.
But I ask me of the use of the GPS has an influence of driving. I think that yes. But we can't all forbidden. For my part, I think that of course bans can be "mises en place" because it reduces the rate of accident. But I think unfortunately there will have always infractions. Every body knows it's extremely dangerous to drive under the influence of alcohol or using a cell phone. And still, it's easy to meet drivers which are drinving while using their mobile phone. That shows those person are irresponsible. Policy had to increase its control in order to decrease the number of accidents.

Je vous remercie d'avance.

-------------------
Modifié par bridg le 07-05-2008 13:52


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Réponse: Mobiles 'as risky as ... (correction de gee, postée le 07-05-2008 à 21:30:51 (S | E)
Mobiles 'as risky drink-driving' is an article which was extracted from Press Association and it was written on Friday June, 30, 2006.
This text deals with risky (risk) connected with driving while using a mobile.
The scientific study look place at the University of Utah (...) by psychologists.
It didn't take place by psychologists but was carried out by psychologists.

40 people have participated in the experiment. (preterit: They took part)

Each subject had to drive under 4 different conditions : normally, using a celle phone, using a hands-free phone and under the influence of alcohol. It shows that driving with a legal blood-alcohol rate of 0.08% is as dangerous as driving using a mobile.
(It's rather the contrary that is to be demonstrated: that driving by phoning is as dangerous than driving drunk.)

Besides driving using a cell phone is as prejudiciable as driving using a hand-held mobile phones, according (...missing particle) the study. That's why psychologists think that hand-free mobile should be forbidden as hand-held mobile.

Of course the technology improve the means of communication. And yet they have an influence of our concentration while we drive. Thus the drivers run the risk to commit an accident.
("Commit" an accident is very strong, you commit crimes, suicides...)

I share the opinion of (... article because a precise reseach is at hand)researchers : cell mobile phone should be forbidden while driving.
But I ask me (I'd say: I ask to myself) of the use of the GPS has an influence of driving. I think that yes.(= I think it has.) But we can't all forbidden. (forbidden is an adjective, use the verb.)

For my part, I think that of course bans can (why don't you use "may") be "mises en place" (is it usual in English? I don't know. If not, look for a verb like to enforce.) because it reduces the rate of accidents.

But I think unfortunately there will have always infractions. You don't think unfortunately! You think that offences unfortunately will happen anyhow.

Every body knows it's extremely dangerous to drive under the influence of alcohol or using a cell phone. And still, it's easy to meet drivers which are drinving while using their mobile phone. That shows those person are irresponsible. Policy had to increase its control in order to (...) decrease the number of accidents.
Policy is not police, have a look at your dico.
I'd say: ..to make the accidents number decrease.

Might this help.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Réponse: Mobiles 'as risky as ... (correction de chacharlotte, postée le 09-05-2008 à 11:47:12 (S | E)
Alors, j'ai essayé de corrigé :

The scientific study look place at the University of Utah and was conducted by psychologists
"40 people have participated in the experiment. (preterit: They took part)" Je ne comprends pas "participate in" ça ne se dit pas ?

Besides driving using a celle phone is as prejudiciable as driving using a hand-held mobile phones, according to the study
I share the opinion of the researchers : cell mobile phone should be forbidden while driving.
But I ask to myself of the use of the GPS has an influence of driving. I think it has. But we can't all forbid. For my part, I think that of course bans may be created because it reduces the rate of accidents.

But I think there will happen always offences unfortunately.

Every body knows it's extremely dangerous to drive under the influence of alcohol or using a celle phone. And still, it's easy to meet drivers which are drinving while using their mobile phone. That shows those person are irresponsible. Police had to increase its control in order to make the accidents number decrease.
Je ne peux pas dire "to make decrease the accidents number "? est:




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