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Oral anglais (1)

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Oral anglais
Message de chacharlotte posté le 06-06-2008 à 10:06:40 (S | E | F)

Bonjour je m'entraine pour un oral. Je dois presenter un texte. Pouvez vous me dire ce que vous en pensez svp ?
(la suite de mon texte est dans le message suivant)

Parents log on to watch their pupils in the classroom

A preparatory school in Lancashire has become the first in Britain to allow parents to watch their children's progress from the comfort of their homes or offices. Pupils at Sunnybank Preparatory School Burnley are filmed in their classrooms from the moments they start school to the moment they leave.
Their parents can monitor their progress at any time of the day by logging on to a secure internet site. The system shows the school in real time , but recordiungs of specific events, good or bad, can be retrieved and saved on CDs.
The system is being used as both a reassurance to parents and educational tool for their teachers. Barbara Cross, the head teacher of the £950-a-term school, is delighted wuth the initiative.
"At first, I just thought it would be useful nationwide, but one of our parents is Franch and her little boy's grand mother in France now has access to him bia the Internet. His aunt in Barcelona is also being given the password."
In another case, a mother was worried for her son recently discharged from hospital.
"She logged opn to see him sitting in the dining room eating two lots of dinner. Afterwards she rang me to say, I'm absolutely delighted"
The school hopes to show parents some of landmark moments in their children's education. In future they may also offer recordings of prize-givings and concerts. Nurseries have offered webcam facility in the past, but Sunnybank is the first to introduce it for the parents of older children. Parents at Sunnybank were initially concerned about security, while teachers expressed fears they might feel as if they were appearing on a form of reality TV.
"In the event it guves teachers added security beacsue if there ever was an allegation against them _ and there never has _ we would have 100 per cent categorical proof."
"We've only had the system in for a week but everyone's got used it. At the first children were making faces at the screen in the school entrance. But now they seem to have forgotten that the webcams are there.
Parents can access the system at any time between 7.30am and 6pm. After that time the system goes into "motion sensor" mode. If any movement is detected the computer is programmed to send a text message to Mrs Cross.
Linda Simcock has watched her son, Josef, 5, at play during breaks in her job as a trainee solicitor.
Her husband, Iran, a distribution manager will soon have similar access at his office in Haslingden.
"Josef thinks it's wonderful" said Mrs Simcock "On the first day he came up to me and said "I'm on TV, mum".

Nigel Bunyan, The Daily Telegraph, October 25, 2004

Voici ce que j'ai fait :
This text is an article written by Nigel Bunyan and extracted from The Daily Telegraph which was published on 25 october 2004.
It deals with the first school which benefits a system of surveillance for film pupils.

In fact, a preparatory school in Landcashire invested in system of security and webcams in order to allow parents to watch their children while they have working. Consequently parents can watch their children anywhere with only a monitor and a password.
Besides some moments are recorded. Parents deligthed about this system and conmforted accroding to this article.
On the one hand parents can watch education's children and maybe besser understand this education.
On the other hand I think it isn't a good solution as far as children are concerned. We can may wonder whether children's comportement change because of the presence of webcam.
I disagree with the article ; maybe children used to be observed but I think they feel always observed as a result they are'nt at ease. It's stressful for them.

suite messsage suivant


Réponse: Oral anglais de chacharlotte, postée le 06-06-2008 à 10:07:03 (S | E)
Suite

I think the shy children wil more embarassed or more introverted although the children which already shameful could amuse by doing the clown since they know there are telespectator.

Besides given Parents can watch the whole of the schoolings days, they risk they don't iterested to their children for example by asking how his day is spended. Morover they can use this system in order to check if their children don't lie about schooling resukts or raison of punishment. As a result children can think their parents haven't confidence in ihm.

All the same it could be a good idea when children are filmed occasionnaly when it's concerned sgignificant events for example show, a talk or a group work. Parent which could'nt assist to them could watch later since it's saved.
In this idea children should are proud of their work.


Réponse: Oral anglais de laure95, postée le 07-06-2008 à 16:37:36 (S | E)
Bonjour chacharlotte! Voici ce que tu dois corriger:
- "surveillance" est un mot français.
- "to" et non "for".
- "have working": présent progressif: BE + verbe en -ing!
- "delighted" est un adjectif, donc tu dois mettre avant le verbe BE au présent (de même pour comforted).
- "education's children": cas possessif: possesseur + 's + objet possédé.
- "comportement" est un mot français.
- BE au présent devant USED TO.


Réponse: Oral anglais de laure95, postée le 07-06-2008 à 16:49:15 (S | E)
J'ai oublié la suite:
I think the shy children will (rajouter BE) more embarassed or more introverted although the children which (which: antécédent non humain) (il manque BE) already shameful could amuse by doing the clown (pas anglais) since they know they are telespectator.
besides given parents can watch the whole of the schoolings days, they risk (that) they don't interested to their children for example by asking how his day is spended (pas anglais). Moreover they can use this system in order to check if their children don't lie about (their) schooling results or raison (orthographe!) of punishment. As a result children can think their parents haven't (forme négative: DON'T + INFINITIF!) confidence in him. All the same it could be a good idea when children are filmed occasionnally when it's concerned (concerns) significant events for example show, talk or a group work (inverser les 2 mots). Parents which assist to them could watch later since it's saved (save: pour sauver quelqu'un). In this idea children should are (infinitif derrière should) proud of their wotk.
Bravo pour l'articulation de ton exposé avec l'utilisation de mots de liaison variés!


Réponse: Oral anglais de chacharlotte, postée le 08-06-2008 à 10:13:04 (S | E)
This text is an article written by Nigel Bunyan and extracted from The Daily Telegraph which was published on 25 october 2004.
It deals with the first school which benefits a system of watch for film pupils.

In fact, a preparatory school in Landcashire invested in system of security and webcams in order to allow parents to watch their children while they is working. Consequently parents can watch their children anywhere with only a monitor and a password.
Besides some moments are recorded. Parents are deligthed about this system and are comforted according to this article.
On the one hand parents can watch children's education and maybe besser understand this education.
On the other hand I think it isn't a good solution as far as children are concerned. We can may wonder whether children's behaviour change because of the presence of webcam.
I disagree with the article ; maybe children are used to be observed but I think they feel always observed as a result they are'nt at ease. It's stressful for them.

I think shy children will be more embarassed or more introverted although children who are already shameful could amuse by doing the clown (je ne sais pas comment dire) since they know there are telespectators.

Besides given Parents can watch the whole of the schooling days, they risk they don't interest to their children for example by asking how his day is passed (je ne sais pas comment dire) Moreover they can use this system in order to check if their children don't lie about schooling results or reason of punishment. As a result children can think their parents don't have confidence in ihm.

All the same it could be a good idea when children are filmed occasionnaly when it concerns sgignificant events for example show, a talk or a work group. Parent who could'nt assist to them could watch later since it's recording.
In this idea children should be proud of their work.



Réponse: Oral anglais de laure95, postée le 08-06-2008 à 18:34:07 (S | E)
Rebonjour chacharlotte!
- rajoute la préposition "from" après "benefits".
- fais un nom composé avec "system" et "watch".
- "to" et non "for film pupils".
- article "a" devant "system" car tu es obligé de mettre un article devant un nom dénombrable singulier.
- le sujet de "is working" est: they (pluriel)!!
- orthographe: DELIGHTED et non DELIGHTHED. Mets ensuite "with" et non "about".
- possessif à mettre devant "children's education" pour préciser à qui sont les enfants.
- "besser" n'est pas le comparatif de GOOD!!!
- pas CAN ey MAY à la suite: choisis!
- adverbe de fréquence "always" toujours devant le verbe et non après!!
- tu peux remplacer"could amuse by doing the clown" par: can enjoy themwelves by playing fool".
- enlève un THE dans: "the whole of the schooling days".
- pas de "to" après interest.
- tu peux remplacer "how his day passed" par: what he did during the day.
- "since it's recording": il faut mettre "record" au participe passé (voix passive).


Réponse: Oral anglais de chacharlotte, postée le 11-06-2008 à 12:06:37 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup !!

This text is an article written by Nigel Bunyan and extracted from The Daily Telegraph which was published on 25 october 2004.
It deals with the first school which benefits from a watch-system to film pupils.

In fact, a preparatory school in Landcashire invested in a system of security and webcams in order to allow parents to watch their children while they are working. Consequently parents can watch their children anywhere with only a monitor and a password.
Besides some moments are recorded. Parents are delighted with this system and are comforted according to this article.
On the one hand parents can watch their children's education and maybe better understand this education.
On the other hand I think it isn't a good solution as far as children are concerned. We may wonder whether children's behaviour change because of the presence of webcam.
I disagree with the article ; maybe children are used to be observed but I think they always feel observed as a result they are'nt at ease. It's stressful for them.

I think shy children will be more embarassed or more introverted although children who are already shameful could can enjoy themselves by playing fool since they know there are telespectators.

Besides given Parents can watch whole of the schooling days, they risk they don't interest their children for example by asking what he did during the day. Moreover they can use this system in order to check if their children don't lie about schooling results or reason of punishment. As a result children can think their parents don't have confidence in ihm.

All the same it could be a good idea when children are filmed occasionnaly when it concerns sgignificant events for example show, a talk or a work group. Parent who could'nt assist to them could watch later since it's record.
In this idea children should be proud of their work.





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