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Correction d'un exercice (1)

<< Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction d'un exercice
Message de piliine49 posté le 05-12-2008 à 20:05:37 (S | E | F)

J'avais un travail à faire en anglais où je devais faire la critique d'un album contenant une "protest song" et l'analyser.
Donc voilà, j'ai presque fini mais à force d'avoir la tête dedans je ne me rend plus bien compte des fautes.
Donc est-ce-que vous pourriez m'aider à les corriger SVP.
Merci d'avance si certains ont le courage de s'avanturer dans la lecture


This is at the end on the 90's that Patrice appeared on the German Reggae stage, the public felt under his spell. Rapidly, he released his first album, « Lions », in 1998. And, 10 years later, after 3 latest albums, Patrice is still in the news and comes back to us with a new album « Free-Patri-Ation ». During all those years, he has accomplished an incredible career, his song Soulstorm released in 2005 and his DVD « Raw & Uncut », 2006 introduced him all over the world. Since that huge success, his such distinctive voice has resounded on the air. He gets this musical culture from his father (The famous writer, Gaston Bart Williams) who lived in Sierra Leone and from his mother who raised him in Germany. During his childhood, he grew up in a world of Jazz, Blues, Reggae and Afrobeat.

As Patrice explains, he chose « Free-Patri-Ation » as the title of his new album. It expresses a state of freedom, it is also a tribute to his father, Freetown is indeed the capital of Sierra Leon, Patriation is also the nickname given to the slaves when they were back in Africa.
« Free-Patri-Ation » is a very deep and heterogeneous album as well in the genres as in the themes tackled. Indeed, the genres are actually various, Reggae, Soul, Funk, Pop, Afro-beat ... The genres keep meeting all the way through the album according to the subjects, sadness, anger, love ... Concerning the themes, they are really deep, Patrice deals with war, ecology, he is more committed than before. His love life is also set out, after having had a child, Nile, in 2005, his relation with Ayo, the German singer was being called into question and as says Commissioner Gordon, the producer « Patrice is a very good writer, each song can have a middle or a top meaning ». When one/we listen(s) to his album we/one are/is invited to cross continents, Africa, Caraibes, America or Europe, that shows the diversity of this new opus. In most of his song, the guitar accompagnies his soft voice. This is an album full of emotion and melancholy, sensual love songs ...
Reggae-roots songs (Another one, He don't answer ...) get muddled to ballads such as Same Ol' Story, featuring Ayo, a very genuige and touching duet. We can also find Seun Kuto on No Screwface which brings so other voices to the album. Moreover, on the furious rhythm of Do Things To You, Patrice doesn't hesitate to reveal us his sensuality and his sex appeal.
« Free-Patri-Ation » signals a change for Patrice, each new album is a new start, as he says « I can only say that I am at a different place, and I feel much better, also in terms of any music ». Nevertheless, Patrice no longer had to prove anything, he has already found his true voice. This album was partly produced by Commissioner Gordon that has been in the music industry for more than 25 years, it also produced the Marley Family, Lauryn Hill and even Amy Winehouse, successful albums were born. This cooperation which defied all expectations, has been a real revelation, Commissioner Gordon and Patrice had a real merger and as they both say this album is a kind of testament of an usual collaboration which has turned into a friendship, « In Commissioner Gordon, I have really found somebody who really is a good friend, and it was great fun to record the album with him. I always felt that he understood me completely » explains Patrice. He recorded the album in New Jersey, in the Supow Studio, Patrice, his musicians and Commissioner Gordon brought their things together in a way that creates a unit.

N'AYANT PAS LA PLACE DE METTRE LE RESTE, JE METTRAI LA SECONDE PARTIE PLUS TARD =)


Réponse: Correction d'un exercice de azer3, postée le 06-12-2008 à 00:19:58 (S | E)
Bonsoir; voici mon approche merci de vérifier
This is at the end on the 90's that Patrice appeared/It was at the end in the 90's whene Patrice appeared..
the public felt under his spell./ what the public felt under his spell? ca manque quelque chose.
after 3 latest albums/after the 3 latest albums: superlative.
Patrice is still in the news and comes back to us with a new album/Patrice stilled in the news and come back to us with a new album...: tu garde le passé
on the air/in the air
He gets this musical culture from his father/He got this musical culture from his father: tu garde le passé.
as the title of his new album/as a title for his new album.
it is also a tribute to his father,/it is also a tribute to his father.
according to the subjects, sadness, anger, love/according to the subjects: sadness, anger, love.
after having had a child/after having a child
was being called into question???
Seun Kuto on No Screwface/Seun Kuto in No Screwface
Attention au fautes de structuration, de conjugaison et de ponctuation. A part ça c'est impeccable.
Bon chance.



Réponse: Correction d'un exercice de egmonde, postée le 06-12-2008 à 23:36:09 (S | E)
This is at the end on the 90's that Patrice appeared on the German Reggae stage, the public felt under his spell. Rapidly, he released his first album, « Lions », in 1998. And, 10 years later, after 3 latest albums, Patrice is still in the news and comes back to us with a new album « Free-Patri-Ation ». During all those years, he has accomplished an incredible career, his song Soulstorm released in 2005 and his DVD « Raw & Uncut », 2006 introduced him all over the world. Since that huge success, his such distinctive voice has resounded on the air. He gets this musical culture from his father (The famous writer, Gaston Bart Williams) who lived in Sierra Leone and from his mother who raised him in Germany. During his childhood, he grew up in a world of Jazz, Blues, Reggae and Afrobeat.
It is at the end of the 90's that P. appeared on the German Reggae stage. The public fell under his spell. In 1998, he released his first album "lions". 10 years and 3 albums later, Patrice is still a hot item and comes back with a new album "Free Patriation". All these years, he made an incredible career. His song..... (ok).
Voilà pour le premier paragraphe. Ne pas faire des phrases trop longues. On écrit court en anglais. Ne pas commencer des phrases avec : and,




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