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A thriller (1)

<< Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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A thriller
Message de zozore posté le 14-12-2008 à 12:20:14 (S | E | F)

Bonjour, mon professeur d'anglais nous a donné un feuille avec 7 images et nous a demandé de raconter une histoire grâce à celles-ci. Pourriez-vous me corriger mes erreurs d'orthographes s'il y en a, la scène doit être racontée au passé:

Picture 1:
The scene took place in an office. It was 2 o'clock. There were more people in this office. I can see a man who was sitting in an armchair. A few people who were talking perhaps about their job. A person who was reading a script, it might have been the writer. And there was also a person who was reading a bill on the director's door:
"-Wanted- young male actor"

Picture2:
The man was reading the bill when he heard a voice behind the door:
"Don't! They 'll know you're the murderer"
The man was confused.

Picture 3:
The man heard a gunshot. Immediatly the man was worried.

Picture 4:
The man opened quickly the door and speed up from the director's dress.

Picture 5:
He stopped running and stayed stand up in front of the dress. The director was sitting in his chair, he was watching a thriller. The thriller talked about a girl who was killing a man. The man must have been to apologize for enter too quick because he was making strange mouvement with his hand, as if he was sorry.

Picture 6:
The man came near to the director and turned around the chair. THE DIRECT WAS DEAD, he must have been touch by a gunshot. There were some blood on the director's clothes and also on the chair. The man was terrified, scared

Picture 7:
The man could have heard a noise because he met a woman who was crying on the floor, just near to a gun.
Is she the murderer?
And why was she crying ?
The man was asking a lot of questions. (De plus) the girl looked strangly like the girl who had given a gunshot in the film. But the girl mustn't be the bad guy because, in this room, there was a window which was opened and there were also footsteps on the floor. The truth criminal must have gone out by the window. But the murderer is very crafty because he wants us to do believe that the girl is the villain, thanks to gun near to girl.
The girl could be the daughter of the director or the secretary...


Je vous remercie d'avance pour tout ce qui corrigerons mon sujet.
Merci!!!




Réponse: A thriller de linsey34, postée le 17-12-2008 à 14:10:27 (S | E)
Dear zozore,
peu d'erreurs relevées !

Première chose: pourquoi utilises-tu le prétérit et pas le présent?

Picture 1:
The scene took place in an office. It was 2 o'clock. There were more people in this office. I can see a man who was sitting in an armchair. (pourquoi ne pas relier tes 2 phrases?) A few people who were talking perhaps about their job. lien? A person who was reading a script, it might have been the writer. And there was also a person who was reading a bill on the director's door:
"-Wanted- young male actor"

more = plus, donc tu compares à une autre image ??

Picture 4:
The man opened quickly the door and speed up from the director's dress.
Déplace l'adverbe "quickly" dans ta phrase
"opened" au prétérit mais "speed" au présent ??


Picture 5:
He stopped running and stayed stand up in front of the dress. The director was sitting in his chair, he was watching a thriller. The thriller talked about a girl who was killing a man. The man must have been to apologize for enter too quick because he was making strange mouvement with his hand, as if he was sorry.

"pour" se traduit "for" devant un nom et "to" devant un verbe

Picture 6:
The man came near to the director and turned around the chair. THE DIRECT WAS DEAD, he must have been touch by a gunshot. There were some blood on the director's clothes and also on the chair. The man was terrified, scared

Picture 7:
The man could have heard a noise because he met a woman who was crying on the floor, just near to a gun.
Is she the murderer?
And why was she crying ?
The man was asking a lot of questions. (De plus) Moreover the girl looked strangly (à déplacer) like the girl who had given a gunshot in the film. But the girl mustn't be the bad guy because, in this room, there was a window which was opened and there were also footsteps on the floor. The truth criminal must have gone out by the window. But the murderer is very crafty because he wants us to do believe that the girl is the villain, thanks to (article?) gun near to girl.
The girl could be the daughter of the director or of the secretary...

"near" mais "next to"




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