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Is it important to be different ? Essay (1)

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Is it important to be different ? Essay
Message de meumeu-x posté le 03-01-2009 à 19:56:03 (S | E | F)

Bonjour !

J'ai un devoir à rendre pour la semaine prochaine donc le sujet est "Is it important to be different?". Le sujet est guidé. Nous devons faire deux paragraphes. J'ai commencé à rédiger le premier et je ne suis pas tout à fait sure de certaines expressions (j'ai certaines lacunes en anglais), voilà pourquoi je m'adresse à vous.

Consigne P1 : Expliquez pourquoi on peut comprendre que certaines personnes ne souhaitent pas être différentes des autres. Donnez les raisons, les enjeux.. Donnez des exemples (historiques ou autres).

Mon texte: A xenophobe person hates the foreigners. An anti-semitic person hates the Jews. A handiphobe person hates handiccapped people... To be racist, it's to reject a man or a woman because of the colour of the skin, the religion, the origins... Consequently, we may say that to be racist, it's despise somebody because he is different.
"Being different" is a sentence that is bandied around too often. Some people just want to be ordinary. Indeed, it cannot be denied that the racism can be dangerous. Some foreigners live in fright because stupid people are prejudiced against them. Believing belong to a superior race, they theaten, victimize, expel, humiliate and motest them. A coloured person, for instance, can't be pleased if he endures discrimination. He becomes a target of the humanity's sillyness.
Let us take an exemple, Dreyfus Affair. It was a political scandal wich divided France from the 1890s to the early 1900s. It involved the conviction for treason in November 1894 of Captain Alfred Dreyfus, a young French artillery officer of Jewish background. He sentenced to life imprisonment (Devil's Island in French Guiana). Eventually, all the accusations against Dreyfus were demonstrated to be baseless. He was exonerated and reinstated as a major in the Franch Army in 1906. We may wonder if this judicial error is really an error. One should bear in mind that the scene took place during the latter part of the 19th century, camely the Franch Third Republic. Even if all's well that end well, Dreyfus was victim of anti-semitism. The was many other problems life this one (Triangular Trade, the colonization, the second world war...). Many people suffer from discrimination. Why don't they enjoy the same rights ?
Progresses was made and currently, there is less problem but unfortunately, there is always a bit. The Ku Klux Klan still exists, it proves that racism continues today in the US.

J'ai l'impression que mon texte fait un peu "collège" mais bon... J'ai essayé d'utiliser des expressions anglaises et des mots de liaisons.
J'ai mis en rouge les fautes "quasi-certaines" :/

Merci d'avance pour ceux qui vont m'aider,
bonne année en retard !


Réponse: Is it important to be different ? Essay de laure95, postée le 03-01-2009 à 22:08:44 (S | E)
Bonsoir, voici ce que tu dois reprendre (en rouge):
A xenophobe person hates the foreigners. An anti-semitic person hates the Jews. A handiphobe person hates handiccapped people... To be racist, it's (is) to reject a man or a woman because of the colour of the (his or her) skin, the religion, the origins... Consequently, we may say that to be racist, it's to despise somebody because he or she is different.
"Being different" is a sentence that is bandied around too often. Some people just want to be ordinary. Indeed, it cannot be denied that the racism can be dangerous. Some foreigners live in fright because stupid people are prejudiced against them. Believing (as they believe that they) belong to a superior race, they theaten, victimize, expel, humiliate and motest them. A coloured person, for instance, can't be pleased if he or she endures discrimination. He or she becomes a (the) target of the humanity's sillyness.
Let us take an exemple, Dreyfus Affair. It was a political scandal wich (orthographe) divided France from the 1890s to the early 1900s. It involved the conviction for treason in November 1894 of Captain Alfred Dreyfus, a young French artillery officer of Jewish background. He was sentenced to life imprisonment (Devil's Island in French Guiana). Eventually, all the accusations against Dreyfus were demonstrated to be baseless. He was exonerated and reinstated as a major in the Franch Army in 1906. We may wonder if this judicial error is really an error. One should bear in mind that the scene took place during the latter part of the 19th century, camely the Franch Third Republic. Even if all's well that end well, Dreyfus was victim of anti-semitism. The was many other problems life ? this one (Triangular Trade, the colonization, the second world war...). Many people suffer from discrimination. Why don't they enjoy the same rights ?
Progresses was made and currently, there is less problem but unfortunately, there is always a bit (some). The Ku Klux Klan still exists, it proves that racism continues today in the US.






Réponse: Is it important to be different ? Essay de azer3, postée le 03-01-2009 à 22:29:50 (S | E)
Bonsoir voici mon approche merci de vérifier.
A xenophobe person hates the foreigners. An anti-semitic person hates the Jews. A handiphobe person hates handiccapped people... To be racist, it's to reject a man or a woman because of the colour of the skin, the religion, the origins... Consequently, we may say that to be racist, it's despise somebody because he is different.
"Being different" is a sentence that is bandied around too often. Some people just want to be ordinary. Indeed, it cannot be denied that the racism can be dangerous. Some foreigners live in fright because stupid people are prejudiced against them. Believing belong to a superior race, they theaten, victimize, expel, humiliate and motest them. A coloured person, for instance, can't be pleased if he endures discrimination. He becomes a target of the humanity's sillyness.
Let us take an exemple, Dreyfus Affair. It was a political scandal wich divided France from the 1890s to the early 1900s. It involved the conviction for treason in November 1894 of Captain Alfred Dreyfus, a young French artillery officer of Jewish background. He sentenced to life imprisonment (Devil's Island in French Guiana). Eventually, all the accusations against Dreyfus were demonstrated to be baseless. He was exonerated and reinstated as a major in the Franch Army in 1906. We may wonder if this judicial error is really an error. One should bear in mind that the scene took place during the latter part of the 19th century, camely the Franch Third Republic. Even if all's well that end well, Dreyfus was victim of anti-semitism. The was many other problems life this one (Triangular Trade, the colonization, the second world war...). Many people suffer from discrimination. Why don't they enjoy the same rights ?
Progresses was made and currently, there is less problem but unfortunately, there is always a bit. The Ku Klux Klan still exists, it proves that racism continues today in the US.
dans ces trois premières phrases inutile de mettre l'article définit.
to be... is to ...
...to reject a person because of his colour of skin, his religion or his origins. je vois que c'est plus pratique
to be... is to ... mais je n'est pas compris cette phrases
banded
inutile,tu dois toujours enlever le pronom "the" si c'est possible.
je pense qu'on dit target for et pas target of
let's take the Dreyfus Affair as an exemlpe.
to the imprisonment life.
French
was passé.
??.
réviser cette structure.
a victim
they
like
was suffering
why they havn't been enjoying...
ther still always a bit.

Merci de bien réviser peut être il ya d'autre fautes.
See you.


Réponse: Is it important to be different ? Essay de meumeu-x, postée le 04-01-2009 à 10:46:34 (S | E)
Bonjour !

Tout d'abord merci d'avoir pris du temps pour mon devoir, j'ai pu corrigé.

"Consequently, we may say that to be racist, it's despise somebody because he is different."
Ce que je voulais dire : Par conséquent, nous pouvons dire qu'être raciste, c'est mépriser quelqu'un parce qu'il est différent.

"One should bear in mind that the scene took place"
Ce que je voulais dire : Il faut garder à l'esprit que la scène s'est passé..
J'ai trouvé cette formule dans une fiche "Useful Words" mais je ne suis pas sure que ce soit correct.

"Even if all's well that end well"
Ce que je voulais dire : Même si tout est bien qui finit bien ?

Je ne vois pas comment corriger.

Sinon, j'ai vu qu'il y avait qques fautes de frappe comme "French", "like" ou "namely".


Merci encore,

PS : Je vais surement mettre la suite de mon texte dans la journée, si des personnes sont toujours d'accord pour m'aider
PS2 : Seconde 1, don't touch :X


-------------------
Modifié par meumeu-x le 04-01-2009 12:04




Réponse: Is it important to be different ? Essay de azer3, postée le 04-01-2009 à 13:31:23 (S | E)
Welcome again.
Par conséquent, nous pouvons dire qu'être raciste, c'est mépriser quelqu'un parce qu'il est différent.
"So we admit that to be racist, is to despise somebody because his is different."

Il faut garder à l'esprit que la scène s'est passé..
"We should always remember that the scene happened during the..."

Même si tout est bien qui finit bien ?
La je pense que tu dois utiliser une forme conditionnelle qui exprime l'irréel dans le passé en suivant cette formule:
If + p. perfect + would + have/has + pp
even if all had been well that would has ended well.
Voilà merci de vérifier
See you.


Réponse: Is it important to be different ? Essay de meumeu-x, postée le 04-01-2009 à 14:03:25 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup pour l'aide, j'ai corrigé et je vais vérifier pour la dernière structure. J'ai encore une petite question, qui n'a rien à voir avec ce début mais qui va me servir pour la deuxième partie :
"Kinda", qui veut "un peu" je crois ( ? ), est-ce familier ? Est-ce une abréviation ?



Réponse: Is it important to be different ? Essay de moozley, postée le 04-01-2009 à 14:35:43 (S | E)
Sadly, none of my corrections have appeared on the text below. Wasted 45 mins!

One word of friendly advice, with abstract singular use "they, their, them".

None of my strikethroughs have appeared. Zut alor!

I might try again later.





A xenophobe person hates the foreigners. An anti-semitic person hates the Jews. A handiphobe person hates handiccapped (disabled) people... To be racist, it's (is) to reject a man or a woman because of the colour of the (his or her) their skin, the religion, the origins... Consequently, being racist is to we may say that to be racist, it's to despise somebody because he or she is they are different.
"Being different" is a phrase sentence that is bandied around too often. Some people just want to be ordinary. Indeed, it cannot be denied that the racism can be is dangerous. Some foreigners live in fright fear because stupid people are prejudiced against them. Believing (as They believe that they belong to a superior race, They theaten, victimize, expel, humiliate and molest them. A coloured person, for instance, cannot be pleased if he or she suffers discrimination. They become a the target of the humanity's cruelty.
Let us take an exemple, Dreyfus Affair.There was a political scandal which (orthographe) divided France from the 1890s to the early 1900s. It involved the conviction of Captain Alfred Dreyfus for treason in November 1894, a young French artillery officer of a Jewish background. He was sentenced to life imprisonment (Devil's Island in French Guiana). Eventually, all the accusations against Dreyfus were demonstrated to be baseless. He was exonerated and reinstated as a major in the Franch Army in 1906. We may wonder if this judicial error is really an error. One should bear in mind that the scene took place during the latter part of the 19th century, at the time of the Franch Third Republic. Even if it finished well, Dreyfus was the victim of anti-semitism. The were many other problems in the world too such as? the Triangular Trade, the colonization, the second world war...). Many people suffer from discrimination. Why do these people not enjoy the same rights ?
There has been Progresses was made and currently, there are less problems but unfortunately, there is always a bit (some). The Ku Klux Klan still exists, which proves that racism is continuing today in the US.









Réponse: Is it important to be different ? Essay de azer3, postée le 04-01-2009 à 18:06:18 (S | E)
Ok.
kinda= sorte de.
Nom c'est pas de tout une abréviation mais plutôt une contraction(réduire les lettres bon tu peux dire que c'est de lexique familier)
Kinda= kind of.
See you.




Réponse: Is it important to be different ? Essay de mizotte, postée le 05-01-2009 à 23:07:49 (S | E)
A note about two words.

"A handiphobe person hates handiccapped people."
Handiphobe - I cannot find the word "handiphobe" in any dictionary. (À moi, ça veut dire "quelqu'un qui a peur de bricoler" [handiwork].)


Handicapped - "the disabled", "disabled people" or even "deople with disabilities" is now used in American and British English. "Handicapped" is understood, but is considered old-fashioned.

I hope this helps.






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