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Besoin d'une relecture (1)

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Besoin d'une relecture
Message de valsnake posté le 04-03-2009 à 20:30:23 (S | E | F)

Bonsoir !

J'ai à faire une étude d'un article de journal anglais sous la forme :
-Introduction
-Résumé de l'article
-Analyse en trois parties
-Conclusion

J'ai rédigé le tout en français puis j'ai traduit tout ça en anglais, mais je suis presque sur qu'il me reste des fautes, dont certaines grosses comme le monde mais que je n'aurais pas vu...
Il est vrai qu'il s'agit d'un véritable pavé mais je vous serais vraiment reconnaissant de bien vouloir m'aider, même si ce n'est que pour une partie du texte, un paragraphe ou une phrase :

The Economist is a British weekly magazine, covering the whole world current events, by studying, in particular, economics and internationals relations. It is one of the reference weeklies at the world level and is recognized for the quality of its analyses. The Economist deals here, through the article Rioters of the world unite published in the newspaper of December 20th 2008, with “global protest” and more particularly those of Athens. Indeed, it rages at the moment in Athens, numerous revolts and demonstrations.


At first, the author of the article speaks to us about the rising anarchism which develops little by little in Athens. Indeed, there are many dissatisfied: "ideological class warriors", "nostalgists for the protests against the junta of 1967-74" and people "with has grudge against the police." This last one is questioned by the author too, who accuses it of provoking protests by unpopular actions (Bullying migrants, Manslaughter against a 15-year-old young person …)
Secondly, the author emphasizes the means of distribution of the information relative to the riots. In this way, He shows us that the main used resource is internet with its blogs, clip, photo and game of virtual life. Thus, the mass mailing of photos and videos relating the facts that took place in Athens to the forums and blogs around the world have resulted in demonstrations around the world including Europe (Madrid, Istanbul ...). Moreover, the massive movements of anarchy in Greece are in fact not denigrated and rejected by the population but, rather, are subjects to movement of sympathy for them. Finally, the author concludes that the massive movements of anarchy threaten not only those directly at the head of the State, but also globalization.


First of all, we notice that the author of this article talks about anarchism, which he associates with Greek demonstrators. Indeed, many demonstrations were held in Greece and suggest that this is a climate of civil war. The economic and financial situation of Greece is not good: large public debt, endless deficits, inefficiency of the state during the huge fires of 2007, a conservative right and a fairly widespread corruption... There are also quite heavily politicized students and protestors resulting in a massive mobilization of the youth who feels sacrificed. She showed great sensitivity to the political left. Nevertheless, the demonstrators profit by a wide support in the population. So, when we add to this the hardness of the police and the big smudge which she demonstrated by killing a 15-year-old teenager during a confrontation, we well imagine that it is the straw that broke the camel's back. It follows then numerous movements of anger.
What the author emphasizes afterward is the speed with which this error of the police spread worldwide. Telephones and internet, which are in full expansions, are ultra-rapids means, to make it turn pale Bolsheviks as says it the author. This last one exposes us, through its examples of Hungarian and French blogs and the creation of videos and events on websites as SecondLife, the other dimension that take demonstrations with new technologies. Besides, he announces it in the subtitle: « They have nothing to lose but their web cameras ». To resume his terms, we could even " talk of has new era of networked protest ".


Réponse: Besoin d'une relecture de valsnake, postée le 04-03-2009 à 20:32:29 (S | E)
Tellement long que je dois poster en deux parties

A not mediatized demonstration does not represent, in itself, an event whereas a demonstration which spreads everywhere and very quickly can make tip over opinions and create uprisings all around the world.
We notice then the governments' anxiety to see these movements of uprising extending in their country. Already some incidents have taken place in numerous European cities such as in Madrid, in Rome, and even in Bordeaux, where two vehicles were burned in front of the Greek consulate. Therefore the author allows us to become aware how much public opinion is important and influences governments. Indeed, these could give up necessary reforms and measures, by fear of seeing extending and intensifying these movements within their country.


What we can understand in these movements of protest is finally the will of the anarchists to create a mass movement and to unite the population against the State. It's with this speed of spreading of information by internet and cellphones in the world that it has made possible. Thus, the anarchistic network threatens not only the governments of countries but also international relations by means of disorders, in particular in global summits. That's why we can say that the author warns us: it is necessary to stop anarchist’s actions before the globalization really feels the effects of it.


Je suis bien entendu ouvert à tout conseils et suggestions.
Pour information, il s'agit d'une analyse de cet article : Lien Internet


Si nécessaire je peux poster la version française afin d'être peut être mieux compris

Étant donné que je dois rendre l'analyse demain, je vous prie de bien vouloir me répondre ce soir.
D'avance un grand merci aux courageux


Réponse: Besoin d'une relecture de brettdallen, postée le 04-03-2009 à 22:13:15 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
Votre travail est de grande qualité mais la requête est un peu tardive, compte tenu du volume de lecture(article et commentaire) et donc de correction...
Je commence par les deux ou trois premiers paragraphes..

The Economist is a British weekly magazine, covering the whole world current events, by studying, in particular, economics and internationals relations. It is one of the reference weeklies at the world level and is recognized for the quality of its analyses. The Economist deals here, through the article Rioters of the world unite published in the newspaper of December 20th 2008, with “global protest” and more particularly those of Athens. Indeed, it rages at the moment in Athens, numerous revolts and demonstrations.


At first, the author of the article speaks to("tells ") us about the rising anarchism ("anarchy")which develops little by little in Athens. Indeed, there are many("people") dissatisfied: "ideological class warriors", "nostalgists for the protests against the junta of 1967-74" and people "with has("who have a") grudge against the police." This last one("latter") is questioned by the author too, who accuses it of provoking protests by unpopular actions (Bullying migrants, Manslaughter against a 15-year-old young person …)
Secondly(or "Then"), the author emphasizes the means of distribution of the information relative to the riots("focuses on how the riots have been covered by the media"). In this way(no use), He shows us that the main used resource is(the) internet with its blogs, clip(pluriel), photo and game(pluriel) of virtual life. Thus, the mass mailing of photos and videos relating the facts that took place in Athens to the forums and blogs around the world have resulted in demonstrations around the world including Europe(Greece is in Europe!) (Madrid, Istanbul ...). Moreover, the massive movements of anarchy in Greece are in fact not denigrated and rejected by the population but, rather, are subjects to movement of sympathy for(from) them. Finally, the author concludes that the massive movements of anarchy threaten not only those directly at the head of the State, but also globalization.
Nous dirons que c'est toujours mieux que rien... organisez-vous différemment la prochaine fois! moi, je n'ai plus le courage de corriger quelque chose que vous ne lirez que "trop tard"!
Cordialement.



Réponse: Besoin d'une relecture de valsnake, postée le 04-03-2009 à 22:53:24 (S | E)
Il est vrai que je m'y prends tard je l'avoues ...

Néanmoins merci pour ce début qui m'est bien utile !
Je suis encore là pour un peu de temps donc si vous en avez vous aussi n'hésitez pas.
Merci encore



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