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Correction - My father (1)

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Correction - My father
Message de pop68 posté le 29-04-2009 à 20:34:37 (S | E | F)

Bonjour, voilà j'ai une expression à faire en anglais et je pense qu'il y a des fautes, je voudrais savoir si vous pouviez m'aider à me corriger s'il vous plait ? Ce serait vraiment gentil. Merci de me consacrer de votre temps

If I had to change one thing in my life, I'd change the relationship with my father; I would like him to come back in France to meet me because we are not close to each other and I don't know a lot of thing about him. For several years, I've not talked to him at all. Of course, I love my little brother who is my half father's son and I don't want him to return home and take Dider's place, the husband of my mother. But I'd just like to have a real contact with him; not necessary meet him everytime but just on holidays. I would come in Marrocco and we'd go together on the beach, ride dromedary in the desert... He would show me the marvellous monuments in Fez and Oujda, his native town, because I've never been there. The best moment would be that he would talk to me about all his life: his best moments and his misfortunes too ! Sometimes, he'd spring a surprise on me : he would come at 5 in front of the school and wait for me. I'd dream to talk to him on the phone, tell him about my life and my existential problems. He'd reassure me if I were not confident or if i were afraid of something. Finally, he would be proud of me and what I've became.


Voilà voilà, merci à tous (l)


Réponse: Correction - My father de laure95, postée le 30-04-2009 à 11:05:38 (S | E)
Bonjour, voici ce que tu dois corriger:
If I had to change one thing in my life, I'd change the relationship with my father; I would like him to come back in France to meet me because we are not close to each other and I don't know a lot of thing (pluriel) about him. For several years, I've not talked to him at all. Of course, I love my little brother who is my half father's son and I don't want him to return home and take Dider's place, the husband of my mother (allège avec 1 cas possessif). But I'd just like to have a real contact with him; not necessary (adverbe) meet him everytime but just on holidays. I would come in Marrocco and we'd go together on the beach, ride dromedary in the desert... He would show me the marvellous monuments in Fez and Oujda, his native town, because I've never been there. The best moment would be that he would talk to me about all his life: his best moments and his misfortunes too ! Sometimes, he'd spring a surprise on me : he would come at 5 in front of the school and wait for me. I'd dream to talk to him on the phone, tell him about my life and my existential problems. He'd reassure me if I were not confident or if i were afraid of something. Finally, he would be proud of me and what I've became (participe passé).

Good job!



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