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Message de sebastien95 posté le 07-09-2009 à 11:56:35 (S | E | F)
Bonjour!
Quelqu'un pourrait m'aider à la correction de mon texte?
Surtout pour savoir s'il y a des phrases mal formulé ou des fautes d'orthographe.
Merci d'avance.
My intership took place in the service in the installation of Private Automatic Branch eXchange (PABX) department of France Télécom. This deparment have the mission of install and configure a substructure of Telephony over Internet Protocol (ToIP) on a company.
My contract with France Télécom started in october 2008. I began to work on the technician intervention department with my tutor, who learned me the basis of his job. This department have the mission of provide the customer a reliable telephone and internet service.
Over the past few months, I integrates the service of PABX who have lot of sameness with the previous departement. I started to make simples interventions, like after-sales services, to have a first view of what will be my project.
My project consisted in the installation of a telephone infrastructure for the company named “maison de l’éducation” building. We had to install and configure a PABX Aastra and numéris, join two racks and do the deployment of IP phones.
This project helped me to have a new experience in the ToIP domain, and make in practice my theoretical and methodological knowledge in this domain. Thanks to my acquired knowledge in the technician departement, I don’t encountered lot of problems during my project. Most people of the PABX team already know me before start my project, so I was directly hosted in the team, give my opinion, exchange knowledge for the success of the project.
Réponse: Vérification-Correction d'Abstract de seb06000, postée le 07-09-2009 à 12:46:48 (S | E)
bonjour,
je vous laisse les indications entre parenthèses :
My intership (voc) took place in the service in the installation of Private Automatic Branch eXchange (PABX) department of France Télécom. This deparment have (conj) the mission of ( expression incorrecte) install (base verbale à revoir avec la nouvelle expression) and configure(idem) a substructure of Telephony over Internet Protocol (ToIP) on a company.
My contract with France Télécom started in october ( majuscule au mois)2008. I began to work on the technician intervention department with my tutor, who learned (voc) me the basis of his job. This department have (conj) the mission of (expression à changer= la même qu'au début) provide (base verb. idem) the customer a reliable telephone and internet service.
Over the past few months, I integrates ( conj) the service of PABX who have lot of sameness (voc) with the previous departement. I started to make simples (accord de l'adjectif?) interventions, like after-sales services, to have a first view of what will be ( place du groupe verbal à revoir) my project.
My project consisted in the installation of a telephone infrastructure for the company named “maison de l’éducation” building. We had to install and configure a PABX Aastra and numéris, join two racks and do the deployment of IP phones.
This project helped me to have a new experience in the ToIP domain, and make in practice ( voc) my theoretical and methodological knowledge in this domain (voc). Thanks to my acquired knowledge in the technician departement, I don’t (auxiliaire du passé) encountered lot of problems during my project. Most people of the PABX team already know (temps) me before start( terminaison) my project, so I was directly hosted (voc) in the team, give (temps) my opinion, exchange (temps) knowledge for the success of the project
Voilà n'hésitez pas si vous avez besoin d'aide!
Amicalement
sébastien
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Modifié par seb06000 le 07-09-2009 12:48
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