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A boy named Sue (Correction)

<< Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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A boy named Sue (Correction)
Message de tchensa posté le 20-10-2009 à 12:02:27 (S | E | F)

Hello, I'm a french speaker learning english. I've got a free presentation to do. It must be a short oral presentation for the first training day of an intensive oral program. Could you please help me to correct this one? Thank you.

---------------------------------------------

« A boy named Sue » or, how to fall in love with the Shakespeare tongue.


I wish to propose you a short presentation about one of the most famous american singer and song writer of country and rock music.

His name is Johnny Cash also known as the « the man in black »

You can find a lot of biographies of him on the web.
So , I'll just give you the most important steps of his life.

He was born in Arkansas and died at the age of 71 (seventy-one) in 2003 ( two thousand three) in the Tennessee.
He grown up in the universe of cotton fields and was influenced by the folk, rhythm & blues, country and religious music.

At nearly 18 ( eighteen ) years old he enlisted in the United states air Force and was assigned in Germany where he bought his first guitar. When he returned to America In 1954 (nineteen fifty-four) , he get married and created his first music group: -The Tennessee three-.

He recorded a lot of success like «cry,cry,cry» or «I walk the line». But, with success arrived some trouble like drug and alcohol addictions, trouble with the justice and depression.
It's not the best decade of his life, but after a cure , a divorce and a second wedding, he was in the hight level of his art .
He was know for his compassion for prisoners and for many concerts at various prisons.
In the beginning of the seventieths, his solo career was growing up. He recorded many album, signed a contract with the ABC TV channel for the « Johnny cash show » and recorded different radio programs , and we had seen him as actor in some movies and TV drama programs.

I'll stop the biography here, because there is so much thing to say and not enough time.
I prefer to talk you about one of his song. This song marked me, and made me love the english tongue.

This song is a story, it's funny and was absolutely amazing for the young teenage I was when I listened to it for the first time.
This song is called « A boy named sue » and tell the story of a boy abandoned by his father when he was a little child.
This rubbishy father has not gave nothing to his family when he left. Nothing but a feminine name «Sue » to his son.

The boy, became a man, and tell ( with humour and some kind of poesy) how much he was angry with his father, and what it has happened when he found him in a "saloon".
I let you listen to this song to discover the end of the Sue's story.

Thank you for listening.

-------------------
Modifié par bridg le 20-10-2009 15:50
titre


Réponse: A boy named Sue (Correction) de robertbrou, postée le 20-10-2009 à 19:42:42 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Voici mes corrections:

« A boy named Sue » or, how to fall in love with the Shakespeare tongue.

I wish to propose you a short presentation about one of the most famous american singers and song writers of country and rock music.

His name is Johnny Cash also known as the « the man in black »

You can find a lot of biographies of him on the web.
So , I'll just give you the most important steps of his life.

He was born in Arkansas (quand?) and died at the age of 71 (seventy-one) in 2003 ( two thousand three) in the Tennessee.
He grown (temps) up in the universe of cotton fields and was influenced by the folk, rhythm & blues, country and religious (utiliser synonyme) music.

At nearly 18 ( eighteen ) years old he enlisted in the United states air Force and was assigned in Germany where he bought his first guitar. When he returned to America In 1954 (nineteen fifty-four) , he get (temps) married and created his first music group: -The Tennessee three-.

He recorded a lot of success like «cry,cry,cry» or «I walk the line». But, with success arrived some trouble like drug and alcohol addictions, trouble with the justice and depression.
It's (temps) not the best decade of his life, but after a cure , a divorce and a second wedding, he was in the hight level (utiliser synonyme) of his art .
He was know (participe passé) for his compassion for prisoners and for many concerts at various prisons.
In the beginning of the seventieths (orhtographe), his solo career was growing up (utiliser synonyme). He recorded many albums, signed a contract with the ABC TV channel for the « Johnny cash show » and recorded different radio programs , and we had seen him as actor in some movies and TV dramas programs.

I'll stop the biography here, because there is so much thing to say and not enough time.
I prefer to talk you about one of his songs. This song marked me, and made me love the english tongue (utiliser synonyme).

This song is a story, it's funny and was absolutely amazing for the young teenage (le mot ici est adjectif, le rendre en nom) I was when I listened to it for the first time.
This song is called « A boy named sue » and tell (accord sujet-verbe) the story of a boy abandoned by his father when he was a little child.
This rubbishy (??) father has not gave (participe passé) nothing (double négatif) to his family when he left. Nothing but a feminine name «Sue » to his son.

The boy, became a man, and tell (temps) ( with humour and some kind of poesy [utliser le mot anglais]) how much he was angry with his father, and what it has (temps) happened when he found him in a "saloon" (guillemets ne sont pas obligatoires ici).
I (verbe manquant) let you listen to this song to discover the end of the Sue's story.

Hope this helps!

-------------------
Modifié par robertbrou le 20-10-2009 19:43


Réponse: A boy named Sue (Correction) de tchensa, postée le 20-10-2009 à 21:39:21 (S | E)
MERCI! je me mets au boulot! ;-)


Réponse: A boy named Sue (Correction) de tchensa, postée le 21-10-2009 à 10:20:38 (S | E)
« A Boy Named Sue » or, how to fall in love with the Shakespeare tongue.

I wish to propose you a short presentation about one of the most famous american singers and song writers of country and rock music.

His name is Johnny Cash also known as the « the man in black »

You can find a lot of biographies of him on the web.
So , I'll just give you the most important steps of his life.

He was born in Arkansas in 1954 ( nineteen fifthy-four) and died at the age of 71 (seventy-one) in 2003 ( two thousand three) in the Tennessee.
He grew up in the universe of cotton fields and was influenced by the folk, rhythm & blues, country and sacred music.

At nearly 18 ( eighteen ) years old he enlisted in the United States Air Force and was assigned in Germany where he bought his first guitar. When he returned to America In 1954 (nineteen fifty-four) , he got married and created his first music group: -The Tennessee Three-.

He recorded a lot of success like «Cry,Cry,Cry» or «I walk The Line». But, with success arrived some trouble like drug and alcohol addictions, trouble with the justice and depression.
It was not the best decade of his life, but after a cure , a divorce and a second wedding, he was at peak performance of his art .
He was known for his compassion for prisoners and for many concerts at various prisons.
In the beginning of the seventies , his solo career was shooting up. He recorded many albums, signed a contract with the ABC TV channel for the « Johnny Cash Show » and recorded different radio programs , and we had seen him as actor in some movies and TV dramas .

I'll stop the biography here, because there is so much thing to say and not enough time.
I prefer to talk you about one of his songs. This song marked me, and made me love the English language .

This song is a story, it's funny and was absolutely amazing for the young teenager I was when I listened to it for the first time.
This song is called « A Boy Named Sue » and
tells the story of a boy abandoned by his father when he was a little child.
This
contemptible father has given nothing to his family when he left. Nothing but a feminine name «Sue » to his son.

The boy, became a man, and tells (temps Ici j'aimerais garder le présent. la chanson existe toujours le garçon raconte toujours. ne puis-je pas garder le présent pour renforcer cette notion de "chose parmanente"?) ( with humour and some kind of poetry) how much he was angry with his father, and what had happened when he found him in a saloon.

I'll let you listen to this song to discover the end of Sue's story.


voilà! j'espère que ce n'est pas pire qu'avant...merci de votre aide.


Réponse: A boy named Sue (Correction) de robertbrou, postée le 21-10-2009 à 18:06:55 (S | E)
Rebonjour,

Voice quelques petits raffinements:

I wish to propose you a short presentation about one of the most famous american singers and songwriters (1 seul mot) of country and rock music.
...
He was born in Arkansas in 1954 ( nineteen fifthy-four) and died at the age of 71 (seventy-one) in 2003 ( two thousand three) in the Tennessee.
(2003 - 71 = 1932)
...
He recorded a lot of success like «Cry,Cry,Cry» or «I walk The Line». But, with success arrived some trouble like drug and alcohol addictions, trouble with the justice (utiliser synonyme) and depression.
...
In the beginning of the seventies , his solo career was shooting up (utiliser synonyme ["shooting up" veut dire également "se camer"]). He recorded many albums, signed a contract with the ABC TV network channel for the « Johnny Cash Show » and recorded different radio programs , and we had seen him as actor in some movies and TV dramas .


Ce n'est pas pire du tout! Bon travail. Même la première version était bien compréhensible et facile à suivre.

Hope this helps!




Réponse: A boy named Sue (Correction) de tchensa, postée le 21-10-2009 à 19:39:03 (S | E)
He was born in Arkansas in 1954 ( nineteen fifthy-four) and died at the age of 71 (seventy-one) in 2003 ( two thousand three) in the Tennessee.
(2003 - 71 = 1932)
Oooops! He came back from Germany in 1954. But indeed, he was born in 32. thanks!
...
He recorded a lot of success like «Cry,Cry,Cry» or «I walk The Line». But, with success arrived some trouble like drug and alcohol addictions, trouble with the the law and depression.
could it have the same meaning that the french word "justice"?
...
In the beginning of the seventies , his solo career was shooting up (utiliser synonyme ["shooting up" veut dire également "se camer"]).
Ooops again! it could create ambiguity but...could you help me to find an other verb? "to bolt" it's not exactly what I want to say. Can I say that his career was at one's best ? or is it correct only for human ?






Réponse: A boy named Sue (Correction) de robertbrou, postée le 22-10-2009 à 18:20:43 (S | E)
Ok,
Vous avez assez souffert.

shooting up > skyrocketing

Quant à la justice (si vous double-cliquiez sur justice et mettiez le mot avec (French-English) vous auriez eu ceci:

Pocket Oxford-Hachette French Dictionary © 2005 Oxford University Press:

justice /ʒystis/
feminine noun

1. justice;
rendre la ~ to dispense justice;
il faut leur rendre cette ~ qu'ils sont… one has to acknowledge that they are…;
ce n'est que ~ it is only fair;
se faire ~ to take the law into one's own hands;
to take one's own life;

2. la ~ the law;
the legal system;
the courts;
action en ~ legal action.

Hope this helps!

-------------------
Modifié par robertbrou le 22-10-2009 18:20


Réponse: A boy named Sue (Correction) de tchensa, postée le 22-10-2009 à 22:52:00 (S | E)
thank you very much for your help !



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