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Help correction text

<< Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Help correction text
Message de marine87 posté le 17-11-2009 à 14:21:48 (S | E | F)

Bonjour à tous ,

j'aurai aimé savoir si mon texte contient des erreurs surtout de conjugaison

merçi beaucoup

the person who influenced my life positively is my little sister.
His nale is constance.She was born on August thirth two thousands in lille. She has thirteen years of difference with me . She gave me a lot of hapiness and love . When my parent got divorced, she ahd than four years old. The divorce happened with difficulty and i took care of her.
She understood the separation end than she had two houses. My mother met an another man. My mother met an another man. My little ister accepted him better that me.
I must have to of responsability : the help at homework, to cook, to go and o fech Constance at school ( amener et chercher constance à l'école).I learnt to more concentrate me. The same year, i passed my secondary school examination qualifying for entry to university and my driving licence. I continued my studies . I didn't think to be up doing studies.
Thanks to her, i matured.
Today, i am very proud of her. Shes's very mature for his age.She blossomed : she likes reading and animals, she uses internet.
She has an ambition, she want to become a vetenary surgeon or archaeologist.
We haven a bond very strong. I am a model for her and i don't want to disapoint her.
In spite of his age, she influenced my life. I see the life otherwise. She has a very good future.
I love her.
It's my sister.




Réponse: Help correction text de cecil_ward, postée le 17-11-2009 à 15:55:45 (S | E)
"was born ... two thousands in lille" - a number of things here
must be "in the year 2000" ? requires "in" (and "the year" might be omitted for brevity)
names of places - towns and cities are capitalized in English

"she has thirteen" - English uses "be" for age, not "have" as in French
Examples:
She is thirteen years younger than me.
There's a difference/an age difference/a gap of ten years between hem. He's almost old enough to be her father.

So also "she was then four years old".

"The divorce happened with difficulty". - means that they found it difficult to successfully complete a divorce (like a project that almost failed to complete). Example:
he opened it with difficulty, because his hands were numb and stiff with cold.
I can hear you with difficulty, but it's a very bad line. I can only just make out what you're saying.

You perhaps need "the divorce was very difficult" (which is in theory ambiguous, but will in practice be only understood in the sense intended here) or "Things were difficult during/after the divorce" - means circumstances were difficult, or people had difficulty with the situation/their feelings etc.

"accepted him better than me" - this needs to be avoided because it read as "the sister accepted the man better/more easily than the sister accepted me" and what you mean is "the sister accepted the man better than I accepted him", so you need to say "accepted him better than I did". (a short form for "than I accepted him")

she uses internet -> the internet (always requires "the")

"veterinary"

"in spite of his age" -> "her age"?

"I see the life otherwise" - don't understand.








Réponse: Help correction text de bsnlolo, postée le 17-11-2009 à 16:33:34 (S | E)
bonjour,

J'apporte ma petite contribution:

In spite of his age,she influenced my life. I see the life otherwise my vision of life has changed or I see life in a different way (Si c'est bien le sens de votre phrase). She has a very good future.

Amicalement,

LoLo



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