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Essay sur les vacances

<< Thèmes généraux, jeux, chansons || En bas

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Essay sur les vacances
Message de kev55 posté le 13-12-2009 à 15:43:40 (S | E | F)

Bonjour à tous , toutes , pouvez vous me dire si mon texte comporte des erreurs ou pas.

Nowadays , people go to holidays more and more. They need to spend a lot of time abroad , far from the difficulties of life. They want to enjoy themselves and to discover new places. We can wonder if going to holidays is a solution to solving all problems.
On the one hand we will see that holidays are good and enriching , and on the other hand we will show that holidays have negative aspects.

It is a well-known fact that some people enjoy going on vacation.
It is universally acknowledged that the holiday period is the best moment of the years for the greater part of kid , teenagers and also parents.
Just consider, by way of illustration how children sing and dance after their last hour of school before holidays.
Since people started to work, to earn and to save money they realized that they needed to escape from their daily lives.
Going to far away places, discovering exotic or different countries can be a real experience and a way to change one’s mind.
Holidays are useful and people need increasingly time for themselves and sometimes planning a long time abroad can be a waste of time and it represents a huge amount of money.

However going on holidays is often stressful and artificial.
Besides going to holidays is sometimes hard to organize, we need to save a lot of money, which is difficult and before going to a new place we have to organize the trip in order to avoid problems. Moreover, we try to go to original places and we end to crowded places where everybody goes. We think that we have good ideas and in fact everybody has the same.

As far as, I’m concerned I think that holidays are the best time of the year beacause I can be with my friends and my family, and have a good time and do different activities.
I like discovering new and beautiful places and I know that it costs a lot of money. That’s why I try to enjoy the most of my holidays, because I know that it’s a luck and that we need to work hard to deserve them.

Merci d'avance.

-------------------
Modifié par kev55 le 13-12-2009 18:32

-------------------
Modifié par kev55 le 13-12-2009 18:32


Réponse: Essay sur les vacances de laure95, postée le 13-12-2009 à 15:50:39 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Voici ce que tu dois corriger:
Nowadays , people go to (pas la bonne préposition) holidays more and more. They need to spend a lot of time abroad , far from the difficulties of life. They want to enjoy themselves and to discover new places. We can wonder if going to holidays is a solution to solving (TO + INFINITIF) all their problems.
On the one hand we will see that holidays are good and enriching , and on the other hand we will show that holidays have negative aspects.

It is a well-known fact that some people enjoy going on vacation.
It is universally acknowledged that the holiday period is the best moment of the years for the greater (superlatif) part of kid (pluriel) , teenagers and also parents.
Just consider, by way of illustration? how children sing and dance after their last hour of school before holidays.
Since people started to work, to earn and to save money they realized (SINCE + PRESENT PERFECT) that they needed (temps) to escape from their daily lives.
Going to far away places, discovering exotic or different countries can be a real experience and a way to change one’s mind.
Holidays are useful and people need increasingly time for themselves and sometimes planning a long time abroad can be a waste of time and it represents a huge amount of money.

However going on holidays is often stressful and artificial.
Besides going to holidays is sometimes hard to organize, we need to save a lot of money, which is difficult and before going to a new place we have to organize the trip in order to avoid problems. Moreover, we try to go to original places and we end to crowded places where everybody goes. We think that we have good ideas (temps + singulier plus judicieux pour idea)and in fact everybody has the same.

As far as, I’m concerned I think that holidays are the best time of the year beacause I can be with my friends and my family, and have a good time and do different activities.
I like discovering new and beautiful places and I know that it costs a lot of money. That’s why I try to enjoy the most (pas le bon mot) of my holidays, because I know that it’s a luck (mal dit) and that we need to work hard to deserve them.




Réponse: Essay sur les vacances de kev55, postée le 13-12-2009 à 16:15:50 (S | E)
Tout d’abord merci beaucoup de vos corrections : pouvez me dire par quoi remplacer les deux dernières choses en conclusion.

Nowadays , people go on holidays more and more. They need to spend a lot of time abroad , far from the difficulties of life. They want to enjoy themselves and to discover new places. We can wonder if going on holidays is a solution to solve all their problems.
On the one hand we will see that holidays are good and enriching , and on the other hand we will show that holidays have negative aspects.

It is a well-known fact that some people enjoy going on vacation.
It is universally acknowledged that the holiday period is the best moment of the years for the greatest part of kids , teenagers and also parents.
Just consider, how children sing and dance after their last hour of school before holidays.
Since people started to work, earn and save money they have realized that they needed to escape from their daily lives.
Going to far away places, discovering exotic or different countries can be a real experience and a way to change one’s mind.
Holidays are useful and people need increasingly time for themselves and sometimes planning a long time abroad can be a waste of time and it represents a huge amount of money.

However going on holidays is often stressful and artificial.
Besides going on holidays is sometimes hard to organize, we need to save a lot of money, which is difficult and before going to a new place we have to organize the trip in order to avoid problems. Moreover, we try to go to original places and we end to crowded places where everybody goes. We think that we have good idea and in fact everybody has the same.

As far as, I’m concerned I think that holidays are the best time of the year beacause I can be with my friends and my family, and have a good time and do different activities.
I like discovering new and beautiful places and I know that it costs a lot of money. That’s why I try to enjoy most (je ne vois pas que mettre à la place) of my holidays, because I know that it’s a luck (là aussi) and that we need to work hard to deserve them.


Merci d’avance.



Réponse: Essay sur les vacances de lucile83, postée le 13-12-2009 à 17:54:43 (S | E)
Hello,
We think that we have a good idea and in fact everybody has the same.
.......
I like discovering new and beautiful places and I know that it costs a lot of money. That’s why I try to enjoy the whole of my holidays, because I know that I am lucky and that everyone needs to work hard to afford those days off.
Regards.





Réponse: Essay sur les vacances de kev55, postée le 13-12-2009 à 18:29:14 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup.



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