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Correction mariage

<< Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction mariage
Message de polaris posté le 16-04-2010 à 11:22:47 (S | E | F)

Bonsoir à tous!
Après avoir bien bossé cet aprèm, je vous poste ce que je viens de finir. Pouvez-vous y apporter une correction.
Le sujet était de faire la description d'une image et ensuite il fallait donner son avis sur le mariage.
Voici ce que j'ai fais:


The scene takes place on the eleventh June in a office, which awards marriage licenses, so that's a registry office. At the sight of the furnitures, the interior decoration and the people's clothes, that we return about the end of the nineteenth century or the beginning of the twentieth century.
In the foreground there is as a old stove and on it is located one book and some papers. We can see an young couple of lovers, who are resting one's elbow on the counter. They are coming to sign the taxes in the loads of the marriage. The future husband entwines his future wife and holds of the same hand his hat, whereas the woman who is for the still very young sight is signing the taxes on tiptoe. She is wearing a yellow dress, white shoes and she has got a chignon. The men is wearing a smoking. The clerk is sitting across from them. He seems to have dozed off because he still has the head to tilt forward and the crossed hands, as if he had made the siesta. At the foot of his chair there is a cat and to the side of the counter is found a chewing tobacco pot at the customer's disposal, who care spit. Around this one is full of garbage.
In the background we can see, that the walls are very filthy and have got yellow spots : it's may be damp patches? The office is back-lit thanks to a big window, which is open and looks an other building. We can behold through a tree's branch and the sun shine. On the windowsill finds itself a red rose, which is a love's and passion's sign. The window is between a bookcase and a mirror or a picture. The bookcase is tidied up well. On its side are hanging clerk's jacket, his hat and his umbrella by the aid of a hall stand. Atop finds itself some books and a tissue. On the other side in which is found the mirror or the picture, he is superposing itself a calendar. The office's door is wide open, above this one it seems there to have a clock there and over the door is writing upstairs “Marriage licenses”.


About the marriage:

If we return to the Middle Ages, we know that the marriages were arranged to unite two families and group include lands, generally without the consent of the couple, who were regrettably only children. We can see with this example that the marriage was made without loving consents but simply by interest, what continues nowadays. Indeed today we can get married simply to receive an inheritance, to obtain the nationality which we wish... and all that loveless. However the marriage which remains the most beautiful, it's the religious wedding with the church, the bells, the ceremony but for whom does not follow believing, it would have no sense that I get married in the church, or only by aesthete's spirit.
To put it in a nutshell the marriage it's pie in the sky.


Merci d'avance.


Réponse: Correction mariage de nat281, postée le 16-04-2010 à 15:53:10 (S | E)
il faudrait avoir l'image pour être sûre que ça correspond mais j'ai déjà repéré des fautes
an office et pas a
a young couple et pas an
furniture sans s car invariable (le mobilier = furniture mais un meuble = a piece of furniture)
beaucoup de formulations maladroites calquées sur le français

C'est pour quoi? un cours ou...?


Réponse: Correction mariage de polaris, postée le 16-04-2010 à 16:04:31 (S | E)
Okay merci.

Hum oui c'est pour un cours.


Réponse: Correction mariage de polaris, postée le 16-04-2010 à 16:07:12 (S | E)
Merci pour tous!
Je vais me débrouiller seul!

Bonne journée!



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