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Correction DM anglais

<< Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction DM anglais
Message de boumax posté le 07-10-2010 à 18:55:34 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,

J'ai fait mon devoir en anglais qui est pour demain dont le sujet est sur tout ce qui touche à l'aviation (Expérience "personnelle" sur les avions/aéroport).
Si quelqu'un trouve une ou plusieurs erreurs, se seré tres simpa merci de me le signaler!

Voici mon texte:

When i’m was child, my first trip was Turkey (by plane) with all my family but we had many problems at the airport. In first, my mum lost her hand luggage but it wasn’t the most important things because my dad lost his ticket and the ticket collector didn’t accept this! Because of this, we have missed our flight and the airline wouldn’t repay, so we have took the next one which was four hours later! Meantime we were bought many perfume and tobacco at the duty free because it’s really cheap ! Finally the flight was very good, we had just a little problem in the arrival lounge with the customs because my brother’s watch.

An another time, I went in Indonesia with my grandmother but it was so difficult for her because she was airsick and there had many stopover because it’s very far.
During the flight, the flight attendant made a queasiness ! There was a moment of stress for all the passenger especially for my grandmother.
Finally because of bad weather (storm), the pilot had many big problems and he made an emergency landing on sea !! Luckily there was no death.

In conclusion, I think flying is the best way to travel because you can go anywhere and much faster than all other means of transport but when there is an accident, it was often very serious!


Cordialement, Boumax.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 07-10-2010 19:09
+ titre



Réponse: Correction DM anglais de notrepere, postée le 07-10-2010 à 19:15:44 (S | E)
Hello!

When i’m was [petit mot manquant] child, my first trip was [préposition manquante] Turkey (by plane) with all my family but we had many problems at the airport. In [mal dit; At first, first of all, etc.] first, my mum lost her hand luggage but it wasn’t the most important things because my dad lost his ticket and the ticket collector didn’t accept this! Because of this, we have [temps] missed our flight and the airline wouldn’t repay, so we have [temps] took the next one which was four hours later! Meantime [mal dit; 'In the meantime, meanwhile'] we were [temps] bought many perfume[ ] and tobacco at the duty free because it’s [temps] really cheap[pas d'espace]! Finally the flight was very good, [conjonction manquante: 'mais'] we had just a little problem in the arrival lounge with the customs because [mot manquant: 'à cause de'] my brother’s watch.

An another time, I went in [mauvaise préposition] Indonesia with my grandmother but it was so difficult for her because she was airsick and there had [temps] many stopover[ ] because it’s very far.
During the flight, the flight attendant made a queasiness [mal dit]! There was a moment of stress for all the passenger especially for my grandmother.
Finally because of bad weather (storm), the pilot had many big problems and he made an emergency landing on [mot manquant] sea!! Luckily there was no death [à refaire].

In conclusion, I think flying is the best way to travel because you can go anywhere and much faster than all other means of transport [forme du mot] but when there is an accident, it was often very serious!

------------------------------------------------
You use the present perfect tense when it is not appropriate. In general, these should be replaced by the preterit in your text when [temps] is noted. C'est à vous de revoir chaque cas.

Cordialement



Réponse: Correction DM anglais de boumax, postée le 07-10-2010 à 19:18:59 (S | E)
Merci !



Réponse: Correction DM anglais de boumax, postée le 07-10-2010 à 19:31:20 (S | E)
Voici ma correction :


When i’m was a child, my first trip was in Turkey (by plane) with all my family but we had many problems at the airport. First off all, my mum lost her hand luggage but it wasn’t the most important things because my dad lost his ticket and the ticket collector didn’t accept this! Because of this, we had missed our flight and the airline wouldn’t repay, so we had took the next one which was four hours later! In the meantime we had bought many perfume and tobacco at the duty free because it was really cheap ! Finally the flight was very good, but we had just a little problem in the arrival lounge with the customs because of my brother’s watch.

An another time, I went to Indonesia with my grandmother but it was so difficult for her because she was airsick and there [had (???)] many stopover because it’s very far.
During the flight, the flight attendant made [un malaise??] ! There was a moment of stress for all the passenger especially for my grandmother.
Finally because of bad weather (storm), the pilot had many big problems and he made an emergency landing on the sea !! Luckily there was no death.



In conclusion, I think flying is the best way to travel because you can go anywhere and much faster than all other means of [transport / locomotion ??] but when there is an accident, it was often very serious!

Qu'en dites vous ?

Cordialement.




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