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Correction DM

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction DM
Message de luks posté le 12-02-2011 à 13:50:13 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,

Pourriez vous s'il vous plaît me signaler s'il y a des fautes dans mon essai ci-dessous (et si oui, lesquelles) ?

There are nowadays some debates, and especially in the [le -the est-il nécessaire?] political circles, about the whole idea of affirmative action. Indeed, even if a large part of the opinion consents with the fact that it’s an essential advancement, a minority argues that it’s an unreasonable measure. We are going to analyse in a first part which are the arguments in favour of this measure and in a second part what could be its drawbacks.

Affirmative action seems to be extremely needed today: hearing for instance that there are almost no women in some undertaking is just scandalous and shocking. Indeed, the pro-affirmative action claim that every part of the population should be as well represented as another.
And it seems to be a fair request: why should a few of them have the monopole of some jobs, or of some studies? That is why several concerns and colleges have taken the involvement to respect a definite quota, that is to say a share allotted to each category of people.

But there is a contestation to those wishes: there is generally an important resistance from the Tories, who assert that it only leads to excesses because it removes all kind of competition. Some of them also squabble that it would be completely ridiculous to put quotas everywhere: some jobs and some studies are made for some kinds a people, why should we persistently try to get some people into something they aren’t interested in? Moreover, we can say that affirmative action is in a way a kind of discrimination…

So, even though affirmative action seems to be imperative in this context of large inequalities, there is an important contestation. Indeed, some of them affirm that there too many negative consequences of those measures. But may they be right, it is a necessary evil…

Merci beaucoup !

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Modifié par lucile83 le 12-02-2011 13:58



Réponse: Correction DM de notrepere, postée le 13-02-2011 à 23:35:36 (S | E)
Bonjour

There are nowadays [à mettre au début de la phrase] some debates, and especially in the [à supprimer] political circles, about the whole idea of affirmative action. Indeed, even if a large part of the opinion consents with (to) the fact that it’s an essential advancement, a minority argues that it’s an unreasonable measure. We are going to analyse in a first part [à mettre au début de la phrase] which are [à supprimer] the arguments in favour of this measure and in a second part what could be its drawbacks.

Affirmative action seems to be extremely needed ['nécessaire' vaut mieux] today: hearing for instance that there are almost no women in some undertaking is just scandalous and shocking. Indeed, the pro-affirmative action claim is that every part of the population should be as well represented as another.
And it seems to be a fair request: why should a few of them have the monopole of some jobs, or of some studies? That is why several concerns and colleges have taken the involvement [n'a pas de sens; refaire] to respect a definite quota, that is to say a share allotted to each category of people.

But there is a contestation to those wishes: there is generally an important resistance from the Tories, who assert that it only leads to excesses because it removes all kind of competition. Some of them also squabble that it would be completely ridiculous to put quotas everywhere: some jobs and some studies are made for some ['particular' vaut mieux] kinds a people, [point] why should we persistently try to get some people into something they aren’t interested in? Moreover, we can say that affirmative action is in a way a kind of discrimination…

So, even though affirmative action seems to be imperative in this context of large inequalities, there is an important contestation. Indeed, some of them affirm that there are too many negative consequences of those measures. But [ne convient pas] may they [à mettre avant 'may'] be right, it is a necessary evil…


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Modifié par notrepere le 13-02-2011 23:39






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