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Correction/opinion

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction/opinion
Message de laura60400 posté le 12-02-2012 à 17:27:29 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,

voici le texte que j'ai réalisé, pourriez-vous m'aidez à le corriger s'il vous plaît? Merci d'avance pour votre aide.

"For many women and some men, shopping is an activity that their bring much happiness and the practice as a hobby. Furthermore, the balances represent the "Christmas" they look forward to throughout the year. However, I am far from that vision. To me, shopping is a race like one that makes me spend more money that makes me happy. Shopping is an activity that I exercise very little and does not amuse me much. Rather, I see shopping as a chore than a pleasure because I buy things when I need it. I preferred to keep my money to buy things that I think is much more important instead of buying a business that in the coming days I'll do more or do will please me more.
I also think that shopping is reserved for people who have lots of money that people with low resources. I am in this situation.
So, in conclusion, I think I'm not at all like the Shopaholic most girls are.
This little surely be surprising for some people but I prefer to stay home and save my money to go shopping."

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 12-02-2012 18:22


Réponse: Correction/opinion de gerondif, postée le 12-02-2012 à 18:49:07 (S | E)
Bonsoir,

Vous avez traduit un peu trop mot-à-mot ou mécaniquement ce texte:
"balances" pour les soldes par exemple, ou
"that their bring much happiness " qui leur apporte beaucoup de bonheur.
"buying a business " acheter des "affaires"
I'll do more :j'en ferai plus ??
Donc certains passages n'ont pas de sens.

For many women and some men, shopping is an activity that their bring much happiness and the practice (sens?)as a hobby. Furthermore, the balances represent the "Christmas" they look forward to throughout the year. However, I am far from that vision. To me, shopping is a race like one that makes me spend more money that makes me happy. Shopping is an activity that I exercise very little and does not amuse me much. Rather, I see shopping more as a chore than a pleasure because I buy things when I need it(things est pluriel et it singulier). I preferred(préterit employé au lieu de conditionnel ?)to keep my money to buy things that I think is(things était pluriel) much more important instead of buying a business that in the coming days I'll do more (sens?)or do will please me more(sens?).
I also think that shopping is reserved for people who have lots of money that(that n'introduit pas une comparaison) people with low resources. I am in this situation.
So, in conclusion, I think I'm not at all like the Shopaholic most girls are.
This little surely be (conjugaison incorrecte)surprising for some people but I prefer to stay at home and save my money to(au sens de plutôt que ? parce que ici, ce to veut dire pour aller faire des courses) go shopping."



Réponse: Correction/opinion de laura60400, postée le 13-02-2012 à 08:40:19 (S | E)
Bonjour, je viens de refaire mon expression, voilà :

"My name is Sophie, I'm 17 and I'm pretty special, I'm not at all addicted to shopping. For many women and some men, the shopping is an activity that brings them much happiness and practice as a hobby. Moreover, the sales represent the "Christmas" they expect with impatience throughout the year. However, I am far from this vision. For me, the shopping is a race like any other, which makes me spend more money, makes me happy. The Shopping is an activity that I exercise very little and which does not amuse me much. Moreover, rather, I see the shopping as a chore than a pleasure because I am buying clothes when I need it. I prefer to keep my money to buy things that I think is much more important instead of buying clothes that in the coming days which do not please me more ( ou qui ne m’iront plus). Otherwise, I think that the shopping is reserved for people who have lots of money that people with low resources. I am in this situation.
Therefore, to conclude, I think that I'm not at all a shopping addict as are most girls. This can surely be surprising for certain people but I prefer to stay home and save my money than go shopping with my friends."
"



Réponse: Correction/opinion de gerondif, postée le 13-02-2012 à 14:08:12 (S | E)
Bonjour,
en vert: correction offerte.
en rose: à corriger

"My name is Sophie, I'm 17 and I'm pretty special, I'm not at all addicted to shopping. For many women and some men, the shopping is an activity that brings them much happiness and (et qu'ils pratiquent comme hobby, manque le relatif et le sujet)practice(en anglais, le nom est practice et le verbe practise) as a hobby. Moreover, the sales represent the "Christmas" they expect(s'attendre à quelque chose, différent d'attendre quelque chose , to wait for) with impatience throughout the year. However, I am far from this vision("je suis loin de cette vision" n'a pas grand sens en fait). For me, the shopping is a race like any other, which makes me spend more money, makes me happy. The Shopping is an activity that I exercise very little and which does not amuse me much. Moreover, rather, I see the shopping (plus comme x que comme y, manque le mot "plus"et le deuxième "comme")as a chore than a pleasure because I am buying (mauvais choix de présent)clothes when I need it(clothes est pluriel). I prefer to keep my money to buy things that I think is(things est pluriel) much more important instead of buying clothes that in the coming days which do not(which n'est pas l'auxiliaire du futur, c'est will et il ne se conjugue pas avec do) please me more ( ou qui ne m’iront plus). Otherwise, I think that the shopping is reserved for people who have lots of money that(abus du "que" français, that n'introduit pas une comparaison) people with low resources. I am in this situation.
Therefore, to conclude, I think that I'm not at all a shopping addict as are(verbe à mettre à la fin de la phrase) most girls. This can surely be surprising for certain people but I prefer to stay at home and save my money rather than go shopping with my friends."





Réponse: Correction/opinion de laura60400, postée le 18-02-2012 à 17:18:18 (S | E)
merci de votre aide





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