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Correction/stage en Chine

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction/stage en Chine
Message de lune19 posté le 14-06-2012 à 15:51:23 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,

J'ai un résumé à rendre en anglais pour mon rapport mais mon anglais n'est pas bon du tout. J'aurais besoin d'aide pour corriger mon paragraphe, svp s'il vous plaît.
Merci d'avance de votre aide.

My training took place in a company buying and selling of vintage (fine) wines Bordeaux during ten weeks. I should have initially had to realize one month in the new store under construction but because of a grip of delay of the works, I wasn’t lucky to work in this one.

In China, trainee's status does not really exist. They do not know exactly the place can take an internship in a company. He sees him as an opportunity to learn, and the fact of receiving an education. While the concept of internship would cover rather practical work, a field survey where we could apply the knowledge which we learnt later. But their sympathy, and my integration among them was fast and hassle-free because they welcomed me with open arms, and openly as a friend.

In spite of this position of special trainee, these ten weeks have given me a cultural enrichment. And I was able to discover the functioning of a Chinese company, as well as the creation of a new store by attending the progress of the works at the same time. Then, I was able to notice the problems which they met and overcome in order to open. This opening allowed me to work directly in touch with the customers to apply my acquired by the management of the business relationship. During these months, the communication was only possible in Chinese or in English, what made me grow and develop positively in these languages.

China undergoes transformations nowadays which would have been unthinkable even 20 years ago. The economic dynamism in fact a forward-looking country with a bright future. I was able to discover this country which will leave me lasting memories. And I would like to envisage my future professional in cooperation with a company in this one.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 14-06-2012 18:09



Réponse: Correction/stage en Chine de notrepere, postée le 14-06-2012 à 18:37:14 (S | E)
Hello

Beaucoup de choses à corriger ou revoir.

My training took place in a company buying and selling of vintage (fine) wines Bordeaux(ordre des mot ; sens pas clair) during ten weeks. I should have initially had to realize one month in the new store under construction but because of a grip of delay of the works(sens bizarre), I wasn’t lucky to work in this one.(Cette phrase n'a aucun sens)

In China, a trainee's status does not really exist. They do not know exactly(mal placé) the place can take an internship(ordre des mots) in a company. He(pas une personne) sees him as an opportunity to learn, and the fact of receiving an education. While the concept of internship would cover rather practical work, a field survey where we could apply the knowledge which we learnt later.(phrase bizarre) But their sympathy, and my integration among them was fast and hassle-free because they welcomed me with open arms, and openly as a friend.OK

In spite of this position of special trainee, these ten weeks have given me a cultural enrichment. And I was able to discover the functioning of a Chinese company, as well as the creation of a new store by attending the progress of the works at the same time. Then, I was able to notice the problems which they met and overcome in order to open (the store?). This opening allowed me to work directly in touch with the customers to apply my acquired [mot manquant?] by the management of the business relationship. During these months, the communication was only possible in Chinese or in English, what made me grow and develop positively in these languages.

China undergoes(forme continue - est en train de) transformations nowadays which would have been unthinkable even 20 years ago. The economic dynamism in fact a forward-looking country(bizarre) with a bright future. I was able to discover this country which will leave me lasting memories. And I would like to envisage my future professional in cooperation with a company in(like this one?) this one.

-------------------
Modifié par notrepere le 14-06-2012 22:44





Réponse: Correction/stage en Chine de lune19, postée le 15-06-2012 à 08:09:13 (S | E)
Bonjour,

Merci de votre aide. Voici les corrections que j'ai apportées suivant vos conseils, est-ce correct ?


My training took place in a company buying and selling of Bordeaux vintage wines for ten weeks. Initially, I should have realized one month in the new store under construction but because of a delay in the works, I haven’t been able to work in this one.

In China, a trainee's status does not really exist. They don’t exactly know the place an internship can take in a company. They see him as an opportunity to learn, and the fact of receiving an education. While the concept of internship includes practical work, a field survey where we could apply the knowledge that we learnt later. But their sympathy, and my integration among them was fast and hassle-free because they welcomed me with open arms, and openly as a friend.

In spite of this position of special trainee, these ten weeks have given me a cultural enrichment. And I was able to discover the functioning of a Chinese company, as well as the method of creating a new store. Then, I was able to notice the problems which they met and overcome in order to open the store. This opening allowed me to work directly with the customers to apply my acquired management of the business relationship. During these months, the communication was only possible in Chinese or in English, which made me grow and develop positively in these languages.

China is undergoing transformations nowadays which would have been unthinkable even 20 years ago. The economic dynamism in fact a country of the future, with a bright future. I was able to discover this country which will leave me lasting memories. And I would like to envisage my future professional in cooperation with a similar company.



Réponse: Correction/stage en Chine de notrepere, postée le 17-06-2012 à 17:09:58 (S | E)
Hello

It's much better.

My training took place in a company buying and selling of Bordeaux vintage wines for ten weeks.(1) Initially, I should have realized one month in the new store under being constructed but because of a delay in the works, I haven’t been wasn't able to work in this one.

In China, a trainee's status does not really exist. They don’t exactly know the place an internship can take in a company. They see him it as an opportunity to learn, and the fact of receiving an education. While the concept of an internship includes practical work and a field survey where we could apply the knowledge that we learnt later. But their sympathy, and my integration among them was fast and hassle-free because they welcomed me with open arms, and openly as a friend.

In spite of In additional to this position of special trainee, these ten weeks have also given me a cultural enrichment. And I was able to discover the functioning of a Chinese company, as well as the method of creating a new store. Then, I was able to notice the problems which they met and overcomeovercame in order to open the store. This opening allowed me to work directly with the customers to apply my acquired management of the business relationship. During these months, the communication was only possible in Chinese or in English, which made me grow and develop positively in these languages.

China is undergoing transformations nowadays which would have been unthinkable even 20 years ago. The economic dynamism in fact shows a country of the future, with a bright future. I was able to discover this country which will leave me lasting memories. And I would like to envisage my future professional in cooperation with a similar company.

(1) Because of the word order, the meaning is not clear. My training took place over the span of ten weeks in a company that buys and sells vintage wines from Bordeaux.

-------------------
Modifié par notrepere le 18-06-2012 17:16






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