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Correction/Jack the Ripper

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction/Jack the Ripper
Message de boahancock posté le 01-11-2012 à 14:21:25 (S | E | F)
Hello everybody,

I wrote a text about Jack-the-Ripper and I would appreciate if you could correct it, please!
Thank you for your help! :-)

Jack-the-Ripper is the nickname of a famous serial killer who acted in 1888, in the underprivileged London District of Whitechapel. He was so nicknamed after an anonymous letter claiming the murders, which was sent to the press which widely publicized it.
Jack killed many prostitute women in Whitechapel district. He would take internal organs, such as uterus, bowel and kidneys from his victims. Many letters claiming these crimes were received by the police and newspapers, but it is obvious that most of them were mere hoaxes , except the one titled "From Hell", sent to Whitechapel vigilance, which included half of a human kidney, supposedly taken from one of the victims.
Nowadays , it is not yet known with certainty who Jack-the-Ripper actually was. Many authors and historians were inspired by this story.
I would like to show you a photo from a Japanese comic strip, BLACK BUTLER, which deals with Jack-the-Ripper’s story.
In this cartoon, Jack-the-Ripper takes advantage of people's gullibility. As a matter of fact, the author makes fun of those who not believe in monsters. I'm trying to say that his theory is the following: Jack-the-Ripper was in fact Shinigami, a “death god”. In my opinion, it is a very interesting point of view and it could explain lots of things.
All right, go ahead... During my trip, I went on a guided tour about “Jack-the-Ripper”. This experience was enthralling. It was as if I were living in Jack-the-Ripper's age. The fact we were at the crime scene drew me into Jack-the-Ripper's era. Here are some photos of the guided tour. To tell you the truth, I think it was the best moment of the trip, but I prefered Harrods to the guided tour, of course : I'm just obsessive about shopping. By the way I'm going to tell you what I did there, and I'm going to explain why I consider this moment as the best time of the trip.

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Modifié par boahancock le 01-11-2012 14:21

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Modifié par lucile83 le 01-11-2012 14:27



Réponse: Correction/Jack the Ripper de dsmith, postée le 02-11-2012 à 02:11:54 (S | E)
Hello,

I will alert you to some problems:

Jack-the-Ripper is the nickname of a famous serial killer who acted in 1888, in the underprivileged London District of Whitechapel. He was so nicknamed after an anonymous letter claiming the murders, which was sent to the press which widely publicized it.
Jack killed many prostitute women in Whitechapel district. He would take internal organs, such as uterus, bowel and kidneys from his victims. Many letters claiming these crimes were received by the police and newspapers, but it is obvious that most of them were mere hoaxes , except the one titled "From Hell", sent to Whitechapel vigilance, which included half of a human kidney, supposedly taken from one of the victims.
Nowadays , it is not yet known with certainty who Jack-the-Ripper actually was. Many authors and historians were inspired by this story.
I would like to show you a photo from a Japanese comic strip, BLACK BUTLER, which deals with Jack-the-Ripper’s story.
In this cartoon, Jack-the-Ripper takes advantage of people's gullibility. As a matter of fact, the author makes fun of those who not (missing a word) believe in monsters. I'm trying to say that his theory is the following: Jack-the-Ripper was in fact Shinigami, a “death god”. In my opinion, it is a very interesting point of view and it could explain lots of things.
All right, go ahead... During my trip, I went on a guided tour about “Jack-the-Ripper”. This experience was enthralling. It was as if I were living in Jack-the-Ripper's age (we don't use "age" when speaking of one individual's life). The fact we were at the crime scene drew me into Jack-the-Ripper's era. Here are some photos of the guided tour. To tell you the truth, I think it was the best moment of the trip, but I prefered (spelling) Harrods to the guided tour, of course : I'm just obsessive about shopping. By the way I'm going to tell you what I did there, and I'm going to explain why I consider this moment as the best time of the trip.

Very good! Excellent English. Congratulations. Only a few things to improve.



Réponse: Correction/Jack the Ripper de boahancock, postée le 02-11-2012 à 11:01:50 (S | E)
Hello,

Thank you for your help and your congratulations! My class is called "Anglais Sect.Euro" so I have been studying English more than a normal pupil.

Jack-the-Ripper is the nickname of a famous serial killer who raged in 1888, in the underprivileged London District of Whitechapel. He was so nicknamed after an anonymous letter explaining the murders, which was sent to the press which widely publicized it.
Jack killed many women prostitutes in Whitechapel district. He would take internal organs, such as uterus, bowel and kidneys from his victims. Many letters claiming these crimes were received by the police and newspapers, but it is obvious that most of them were mere hoaxes , except the one titled "From Hell", sent to Whitechapel vigilance, which included half of a human kidney, supposedly taken from one of the victims.
Nowadays , it is not yet known with certainty who Jack-the-Ripper actually was. Many authors and historians were inspired by this story.
I would like to show you a photo from a Japanese comic strip, BLACK BUTLER, which deals with Jack-the-Ripper’s story.
In this cartoon, Jack-the-Ripper takes advantage of people's gullibility. As a matter of fact, the author makes fun of those who do not believe in monsters. I'm trying to say that his theory is the following: Jack-the-Ripper was in fact Shinigami, a “death god”. In my opinion, it is a very interesting point of view and it could explain lots of things.
All right, go ahead... During my trip, I went on a guided tour about “Jack-the-Ripper”. This experience was enthralling. It was as if I were living in Jack-the-Ripper's age (Which word do I have to use? I was thinking about "era or time" but I think "era" is the best!). The fact we were at the crime scene drew me into Jack-the-Ripper's era. Here are some photos of the guided tour. To tell you the truth, I think it was the best moment of the trip, but I preferred (double "r" of course!) Harrods to the guided tour, of course : I'm just obsessive about shopping. By the way I'm going to tell you what I did there, and I'm going to explain why I consider this moment as the best time of the trip.

Thanks for reading me again! :-)

-------------------
Modifié par boahancock le 02-11-2012 11:03



Réponse: Correction/Jack the Ripper de bluestar, postée le 02-11-2012 à 13:15:19 (S | E)
Bonjour..

Jack the Ripper is usually written like that, without hyphens.

"who raged in 1888, in the underprivileged London District of Whitechapel"...Better would be: "who terrorised the London District of Whitechapel in 1888".

"anonymous letter explaining the murders"...The anonymous letter claimed one of the murders only. It didn't explain anything and was regarded by many as a hoax..

"Whitechapel vigilance"..is a proper name so you must capitalise all the nouns.."Vigilance"



Réponse: Correction/Jack the Ripper de boahancock, postée le 02-11-2012 à 17:41:32 (S | E)
Thanks a lot! I will post another text soon!




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