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Oral/ idea of progress

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Oral/ idea of progress
Message de lili1234 posté le 15-05-2013 à 13:37:29 (S | E | F)
Bonjour ,
pourriez vous m'aider à corriger ma présentation d'oral d'anglais car mon professeur est malade et n'a pu me la corriger. Merci de m'aider c'est vraiment très urgent .

:I'm going to talk about the notion Idea of progress. To begin with, I'd like to give a definition of progress. The idea of progress basically consists in believing that the world can become better in terms of art, science, technology, liberty, and quality of life. However, sometimes progress causes more problems than it solves .Consequently, we are going to weigh the positive and negatives aspects of progress, in science , in medicine and in new technologies.

I. Positive aspects of progress

Firstly, we have studied an article from the new york times which title was « Dolly, the First Cloned Mammal ». In 1996, Dolly was the first mammal to be created by cloning became the most famous sheep in history and die at six. Cloning is the production of genetically identical organisms. From a medical point of view it would it would be a great step forward for the human condition.
This could be used to counter genetic disease, this could be a source of genetically identical body parts for transplant treatment of injured individuals and tsave their lives. This also would provide the opportunity for sterile couples to have babies.
This document show that science's progress can correct nature’s mistakes and improve our human condition but there is also progress in new technologies
we studied an article from The Guardian which dealt with cameras CCTV installed in London. The UK is the most spied upon nation in the world. CCTV is used to provide evidence to prove a crime has been committed. Cameras have the ability to reveal someone's identity which can be beneficialwhen used in the correct way. Video surveillance cameras are beneficial in public places as it means people are less likely to commit a criminal act as there is a high probability that they will be caught. Having cameras in public places make people feel safe. This shows that new technologies' progress has helped improve our daily.
We also talked about an other new technologies : Internet and the cell phones. In today's world, with the development of technology, Information and Communications Technology have inevitably become an important element in our lives because of it being quick and easy to use. People have become busy in spite of their jobs, so they want to reach information in the easiest way and to keep in touch with their family members, their friends,...

Transition : New technologies in general improved our living conditions nevertheless, progress fo science also raises some issues

I. Negative aspects of progress

From an ethical point of view, cloning raises problems because destroying embryos and using them only for the purpose of research would be considered as unethical. Moreover, cloning could become a real market and would devalue children and treat them as commodities.
There also are uncertain genetic consequences: many of the early animal clones had clinical problems derived from genetic effects. For example, old age illnesses in the youthful Dolly the sheep.
A lot of people worry that cloned people would be regarded as slaves or second class citizens with no civil rights ,since they are just copies. I find this reasoning absolutely ridiculous, since a person is a person despite their genetic source or if artificially created. An other problem ,everyone would be identical and look the same.
About the CCTV, I don't think that video surveillance cameras in public places are a good idea because it is an infringement on your civil liberties. We need our privacy and freedom. We could feel like we are being watched constantly and it can make us uncomfortable. They can be hidden and can be easily hacked into. In those cameras, who knows who is watching us.Why film innocent people doing nothing criminal in public places.
Recently became a phenomenon particularly among young : addiction to the new technologies. It may be derived in particular on the internet because there is sometimes a lack of control over the information disseminated. we can also say that the Internet and social networks isolate us in a virtual world, it create a lack of human contact. Some people are disconnected from the real world.
Moreover, recent studies show that the cell phones might have some effects on the human's health.


To conclude , progress can be something very positive which improves the human condition. However, it may be dangerous it can be dangerous if it is used for misuse.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 15-05-2013 14:56


Réponse: Oral/ idea of progress de lili1234, postée le 15-05-2013 à 20:14:42 (S | E)
il y a quelqu'un s'il vous plait ??




Réponse: Oral/ idea of progress de kourai, postée le 15-05-2013 à 20:26:31 (S | E)
Bonsoir, lilli1234,
j'ai juste lu votre texte par curiosité - il est très long. J'ai vu qqs fautes d'inattention: pas de "s" à la troisième personne singulière à certains endroits et à la fin une, deux phrases mal exprimées, si non, je le trouve vraiment pas mal du tout! Je pense que vous n'avez pas besoin de vous faire des soucis!!
Kouraï



Réponse: Oral/ idea of progress de lili1234, postée le 15-05-2013 à 21:20:18 (S | E)
Je vous remercie ;votre commentaire est très rassurant pour moi



Réponse: Oral/ idea of progress de kvcarter, postée le 16-05-2013 à 00:13:16 (S | E)
Bonsoir! Voici une correction, j'ai essayé d'écrire en français aussi, bien qu'il puisse être difficile de lire!

I'm going to talk about the idea of progress. (Notion est rarement utilisé)
To begin with, I'd like to state the definition of progress. The idea of progress basically consists in believing that the world can become better in terms of art, science, technology, liberty, and quality of life. However, sometimes progress causes more problems than it solves. Consequently, we are going to weigh the positives and negatives aspects of progress in science, medicine and new technologies.

I. Positive aspects of progress

Firstly, we studied an article from the New York Times (un nom) of which title was « Dolly, the First Cloned Mammal ». In 1996, Dolly was the first mammal to be created by cloning, becoming the most famous sheep in history and dying at six. Cloning is the production of genetically identical organisms. From a medical point of view it would be a great step forward for the human condition.
This could be used to counter genetic diseases - having a source of genetically identical body parts for transplant patients in order to save their lives. This also would provide the opportunity for sterile couples to have babies.
This document shows that science's progress can correct nature’s mistakes and improve the human condition but there is also progress in new technologies.
We studied an article from The Guardian which dealt with CCTV cameras (ordre des adjectifs) installed in London. The UK is the most spied upon nation in the world. CCTV is used to provide evidence to prove a crime that has been committed. Cameras have the ability to reveal someone's identity which can be beneficial when used in the correct way. Video surveillance cameras are beneficial in public places as it means people are less likely to commit a criminal act as there is a high probability that they will be caught. Having cameras in public places makes people feel safe. This shows that new technologies' progress has helped improve our daily. ((daily......?) mais ce paragraphe est étonnamment fliude)
We also talked about another new technology : Internet and the cell phones (ou 'Mobile phones - je suis anglais alors je dirais 'A mobile phone). In today's world, with the development of technology, Information and Communications Technology have inevitably become an important element in our lives because of it being quick and easy to use. People have become busy in spite of their jobs, so they want to reach information in the easiest way and to keep in touch with their family members and their friends.

Transition : New technologies in general have improved our living conditions nevertheless, yet science's progress also raises some issues.

I. Negative aspects of progress

From an ethical point of view, cloning raises problems because destroying embryos and using them only for the purpose of research would be considered unethical. ('as' n'est pas nécessaire) Moreover, cloning could become a real market (peut-être pourrait-on utiliser 'A real niche market' mais 'A real market' marche quand même) and would devalue children, treating them as commodities.
There also are uncertain genetic consequences: many of the early animal clones had clinical problems derived from genetic effects, like old age illnesses in the youthful Dolly the sheep.
A lot of people worry that cloned people would be regarded as slaves or second class citizens with no civil rights ,since they are just copies. I find this reasoning absolutely ridiculous, since a person is a person despite their genetic source and regardless as to whether or not they are artificially created. An other problem is that everyone would be identical and look the same.

je continuerai...



Réponse: Oral/ idea of progress de kvcarter, postée le 16-05-2013 à 00:23:55 (S | E)
As far as CCTV is concerned, I don't think that video surveillance cameras in public places are a good idea because it is an infringement on your civil liberties. We need our privacy and freedom. We could feel like we are being watched constantly and it could make us (feel) uncomfortable (Ce n'est pas vital, mais ça sonne mieux). They can be hidden and easily hacked into. Behind those cameras, who knows who is watching us. Why film innocent people doing nothing criminal in public places.
Addiction to new technology recently became a phenomenon among young people. It can be seen in particular on the internet because there is sometimes a lack of control over the information disseminated. We can also say that the Internet and social networks isolate us inside a virtual world, creating a lack of human contact and making some people disconnected from the real world. Moreover, recent studies show that the cell phones might have some effects on the our health.


To conclude , progress can be something very positive which improves the human condition. However, it can be dangerous it can be dangerous if it is used for misuse <- ça ne marche pas malheureusement, mais je suggérerais 'However, it can be dangerous if it is misued.'

sans doute est-il certain que votre anglais soit fantastique! Très fluide! J'espère que je vous ai aidé! (excusez le français 'interessant!')

Kieran



Réponse: Oral/ idea of progress de lili1234, postée le 16-05-2013 à 15:18:56 (S | E)
Merci pour votre correction j'essaye de m’améliorer continuellement , auriez-vous des suggestions pour que je puisse me perfectionner avant mon épreuve de bac écrit d'anglais ??




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