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Correction/Bac

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction/Bac
Message de mariamjamila posté le 26-05-2013 à 20:08:03 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
j'aimerais bien que quelqu'un puisse corriger les éventuelles erreurs présentes car je passe l'oral d'anglais après-demain.
Merci d'avance !

THE IDEA OF PROGRESS
India is a country of legend,which made dream the European for centuries.India is the largest democracy in the world with a sixth (1/6)of the world population. After a long period of poverty and financial difficulties,India is now growing.So,is today India a modern country?

The girls in India aren't welcoming like boys because of traditions which impose to the girl family to give dowry when they get their girl maried. that's happen in the history of secret daughter written by SOMAYA GAWDA.Is the history of one mother who gave birth to a girl.Her husband was not alright to keep this girl because of dowry. However, more recently this situation gradually disappears.In one article of The New York 2009,Giridharas talked about his return in India after long years. He was surprised by the situation of girls. They were more free and accepted. He was surprised too by the increasing of the economy.
An other problem : the economy. The poverty in India declines. While the people living bellow 1E a day was 60% in 1981,they are only 42% in 2005.The unprivileged and the needy persons are falling. The population growth is fast-growing and now in India,family planning programs encourages families to have less than 2 child per family.
India, country of 18 official languages and many of different religions,shows this multicultiralism to the world. The culture of India is now famous thanks to the cinema for exemple (or literature..). Indeed, the India film industry is the most prolific in the world. The production of Bollywood is known by all.
India is the first world exporter of IT services (informatics).She receives 25% of FDI (foreign direct investisment).So,India is an important actor in the globalization and in the world.

To conclude, if a modern country is a country involved in a global model, using news tecnologies and progressing, so India is a modern country. India is a country which is progressing rapidly.Is one of countries with China,Brasil...which can become a great power. Perhaps India will replace Europe in the futur. However she still has difficulties and drawbacks like the poverty and the fast-growing population.

Merci d'avance !!

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 26-05-2013 20:44


Réponse: Correction/Bac de gerondif, postée le 27-05-2013 à 18:57:17 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
en vert, corrections offertes, autres couleurs, à corriger
THE IDEA OF PROGRESS
India is a country of legend,which made dream (conjuguer make au present perfect et mettre dream derrière The Europeans)the European for centuries.India is the largest democracy in the world with a sixth (1/6)of the world population. After a long period of poverty and financial difficulties,India is now growing.So,is today'sIndia a modern country?

The girls in India aren't welcoming(accueillantes ou bienvenures(welcome ?) like boys because of traditions which impose to the girl's family to give a dowry when they get their girl married. that's happen in the history(history ou story?) of secret daughter written by SOMAYA GAWDA.It is the history of one mother who gave birth to a girl.Her husband was not alright (conjuguez to agree with)to keep this girl because of the dowry. However, more recently this situation gradually disappears(present perfect ou présetn en ing préférable).In one article of The New York 2009,Giridharas talked about his return in India after long years. He was surprised by the situation of girls. They were more free(freer) and more accepted. He was surprised too by the increasing of the economy.
An other problem : the economy. The poverty in India declines(présent continu, ing). While the people living bellow 1E a day was(pluriel) 60% in 1981,they are only 42% in 2005.The unprivileged and the needy persons are falling(leur chiffre chute, pas eux). The population growth is fast-growing(répétition de grow) and now in India,family planning programs encourages families to have less than (fewer than) 2 child(pluriel) per family.
India, country of 18 official languages and of many different religions,shows this multicultiralism to the world. The culture of India is now famous thanks to the cinema for exemple (or literature..). Indeed, the India film industry is the most prolific in the world. The production of Bollywood is known by all(maladroit).
India is the first world exporter of IT services (informatics).She receives 25% of FDI (foreign direct investisment).So,India is an important actor in the globalization and in the world.

To conclude, if a modern country is a country involved in a global model, using news tecnologies and progressing, so India is a modern country. India is a country which is progressing rapidly.It Is one of countries with China,Brasil...which can become a great power. Perhaps India will replace Europe in the future. However she still has difficulties and drawbacks like the poverty and a fast-growing population.



Réponse: Correction/Bac de hushpuppy, postée le 28-05-2013 à 18:22:35 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Il y a des corrections en bleu et des conseils en vert :

THE IDEA OF PROGRESS
India is a country of legend,which made the Europeans dream for centuries.India is the largest democracy in the world encompassing one-sixth (1/6)of the world(possessif) population. After a long period of poverty and financial difficulties,India is now growing.So,is India a modern country today?

The girls in India aren't as welcoming(passé) as boys because of traditions which impose a marriage dowry to(autre préposition) the girl(possessif) family. that's(majuscule) what happen(passé) in the history(autre mot du sens de conte) of (article) Secret Daughter written by SOMAYA GAWDA. (pronom manque) is the history(autre mot) of one(article indéfini) mother who gave birth to a girl. Her husband didn't want to keep this girl because of (article défini) dowry. However, more recently this obligation has gradually disappears(passé).In one(article indéfini) article of(autre préposition) The New York (nom manque) 2009,Giridharas talked about his return in India after long(many, several) years. He was surprised by the girls' situation. They were more free and accepted. He was surprised too by the increasing economy.
Another problem : the economy. The poverty in India declines(passé composé). While the number of people living with less than 1E a day was 60% in 1981,it had decreased to 42% in 2005.The numbers of the unprivileged and the needy persons are falling. The population growth is fast-growing and now in India,family planning programs encourages(3ème personne pluriel) families to have less than 2 child(pluriel) per family.
India, (article défini) country of 18 official languages and many of different religions,shows this multicultiralism(orthographe) to the world. The culture of India is now famous thanks to the cinema and literature. Indeed, the India film industry is the most prolific in the world. The production of Bollywood is known by all.
India is the first world exporter of IT services.She(pas une personne) receives 25% of FDI (foreign direct investisment).So,India is an important player in the globalization and in the world.

To conclude, if a modern country is a country involved in a global model, using news tecnologies and progressing, then India is a modern country. India is a country which is progressing rapidly. (pronom manque) is one of countries with China,Brasil(orthographe)...which can become a great power. Perhaps India will replace Europe in the futur(orthographe). However she(pas une personne) still has difficulties and drawbacks like the poverty and the fast-growing population.




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