Aide/oral BTS

Aide/oral BTS
Message de loukoume posté le 02-06-2013 à 12:41:04 (S | E | F)
Hello à tous ^^

Je suis nouveau sur ce site; j'expose mon problème, je passe mon oral de BTS d'anglais mardi   ,et je suis en pleine révision; j'aimerais avoir votre avis sur le texte que j'ai préparé pour cet oral car je ne suis pas doué en anglais et se présenter avec des fautes en plein oral de BTS c'est pas top ^^
Voici le texte : 

My name is xxx, I am twenty years old and I am at present a student in technical sales representative in Lycée xxx at xxx. Within the framework of my training, I have gone on four training courses (2 periods of 2 weeks, one of 4 weeks and another of 6 weeks) in the firm Called Ets xxx, located in xxx (north of France).
This company is specialized in heating, Mr. xxx is its boss, and also my tutor.
During my first periods, I was warmly welcomed, the personnel of the company and Mr. xxx was very friendly with me and helped me for my integration, I discovered the company and its method of work and I quickly found my place in the team. In these 2 weeks, I was able to realize various activities such as appointments with customers with my tutor, write and send many mails to customers, realize an
advertisement for the firm, And so on...
In the second periods of my placement, I realized the same activities as the first period therefor I switch at the third periods of my placement, which were the richest periods of my placement in the Ets xx.
During these four weeks, I had the opportunity to participate at two trade fair located at xxx and xxx. Only on the stand most of the time, I suggested to visitors the main offer of the company, and it was a success for me because I succeed to sell a lot of devices. That is why this period was the most important, moreover, I also did a lot of phoning (over 2000 calls).
The last period was calm and classic, I did phoning and I completed my internship report.
Finally, I am very satisfied of this experience in this company, its friendly atmosphere, and its very professional and welcoming personal.

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Modifié par lucile83 le 02-06-2013 13:22
Mise en forme standard.
Anonymat.

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Réponse: Aide/oral BTS de loukoume, postée le 02-06-2013 à 17:55:13 (S | E)
Personne ?

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Réponse: Aide/oral BTS de hushpuppy, postée le 02-06-2013 à 19:24:48 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Il y des corrections en bleu et des conseils en violet :

My name is xxx, I am twenty years old and I am at presently training as a technical sales representative in Lycée xxx at xxx. Within the framework of my training, I have gone on(participe passé: avoir) four training courses (2 periods of 2 weeks, one of 4 weeks and another of 6 weeks) in(autre préposition) the(indéfini) firm called Ets xxx, located in xxx (north of France north of France ? ou in northern France).
This company is specialized(présent) in heating, Mr. xxx is its boss, and also my tutor.
During my first month, I was warmly welcomed, the personnel of the company and Mr. xxx was(3ème personne pluriel) very friendly with me and helped me for(autre préposition, cette phrase "helped me ****" est très utilisée, il vous faut la connaître) my integration, I discovered the company and its method of work and I quickly found my place in(autre préposition) the team. In my first 2 weeks, I was able to perform various tasks such as having appointments with customers with my tutor, write(progressif) and send(progressif) many mails to customers, creating an advertisement for the firm, etc.
In the second periods of my placement, I performed the same activities as the first period, therefor(orthographe) I switch(passé) tasks/duties at the third periods of my placement, which were(3ème personne singulier) the richest periods of my placement in(autre préposition) the Ets xx.
During these four weeks, I had the opportunity to participate at two trade fair(pluriel) located at xxx and xxx. Only on the stand most of the time, I suggested to visitors the main offer of the company, and it was a success for me because I succeed(passé) to(autre préposition) sell(progressif) a lot of devices. That is why this period was the most important. Moreover, I also made a lot of phone calls (over 2000 calls).
The last period was calm and classic, I made calls and I completed my internship report.
Finally, I am very satisfied of(autre préposition, aussi très utilisé : very satisfied ****) this experience in this company, its friendly atmosphere, and its very professional and welcoming personal(orthographe).

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Réponse: Aide/oral BTS de loukoume, postée le 03-06-2013 à 08:35:06 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup pour ta réponse claire et détaillée

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