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Movie summary/aide

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Movie summary/aide
Message de anto0105 posté le 14-01-2014 à 10:54:42 (S | E | F)
Hello,

Could you help me please and proofread my text?
Thank you for your answers.


In English class, we watched a movie called « Men of Honor ».
It’s a movie inspired by the true story of Carl Brashear who was the first black American master diver in the USA.
At the beginning of story, the scene takes place in 1948, in his lifestyle in Kentucky with his father, a sharecropper.
Carle Brashear is determined to be the first black American diver, while it was time when the racism was very present.
Some years later, he decides to join the Navy to realize his dream and to overcome racism.
We can observe that the relationship between the father and his son is strong.
At the Bayonne N.J, in divers’ training camp, Carl isn’t very well integrated with the group, because of his origin. Unfortunately, his master chief and trainer Billy Sunday is aggressive, alcoholic and isn’t friendly with him. This isn’t easy for Carl because of Billy Sunday’s character which is opposed to the idea of a black Navy diver.
Billy Sunday wants to see that he fails and quits the Navy. Until one day, he will prove that he is strong, with lot of endurance and determination to win the respect of his fellow naval officers.
Carl meets a librarian, a good woman who tutors him in reading when he has trouble with written exams.
The other famous character is Mister Pappy, the commanding officer of the group. He has the same ideas that Master Billy Sunday but he respects persons who do and love doing something well.
In the ultimate test is an underwater assembling task where each student had to assemble a flange underwater using a bag of tools. The master chief Billy Sunday cuts the Carl’s bag, but Carl finishes the assembly and successfully completes the diving school, facing the admiration of his fellow divers.
The master chief is later demoted to senior chief by the commanding officer Mister Pappy and he is finally relegated to menial duties.
Thence, Carl rises quickly through the ranks and becomes a national hero. Later for recovering a missing bombs and for saving the life of navy crew in nuclear incident.
Carl loses his leg in this incident and sees his dream crumble. But with his perseverance and conviction, he returns to full active duty, to realize his dream: to be a diver.

-------------------
Edited by lucile83 on 14-01-2014 11:39



Réponse: Movie summary/aide de sherry48, postée le 14-01-2014 à 14:22:18 (S | E)
Hello. You can start with these areas.

In English class, we watched a movie called « Men of Honor ».
It’s a movie inspired by the true story of Carl Brashear (who was) the first black American master diver in the USA.
At the beginning of ___ story, the scene takes place in 1948,(Consider simplifying by starting with "The scene") in his lifestyle in Kentucky with his father, a sharecropper.
Carle Brashear is determined to be the first black American diver, while it was time when the racism was very present.
Some years later, he decides to join the Navy to realize his dream and to overcome racism.
We can observe that the relationship between the father and his son is strong. (This sentence seems out of place here...you could put it earlier in the paragraph.)
At the Bayonne N.J, in divers’ training camp, (At the Bayonne diver's camp...OK, but if the city is first, you need a different preposition.)Carl isn’t very well integrated with the group, because of his origin. Unfortunately, his master chief and trainer Billy Sunday is aggressive, alcoholic and isn’t friendly with/towards him. This isn’t easy for Carl because of Billy Sunday’s character which is opposed to the idea of a black Navy diver.
Billy Sunday wants to see that he fails and quits the Navy. Until one day, he will prove that he is strong, with __ lot of endurance and determination to win the respect of his fellow naval officers. (This is incomplete; the problem is with 'Until one day') Carl meets a librarian, a good woman who tutors him in reading when he has trouble with written exams.
The other famous character is Mister Pappy, the commanding officer of the group. He has the same ideas that Master Billy Sunday but he respects persons who do and love doing something well. (Who do and love doing is a little awkward.)
In the ultimate test _____ is an underwater assembling task where each student had to assemble a flange underwater using a bag of tools. The master chief Billy Sunday cuts the Carl’s bag, but Carl finishes the assembly and successfully completes the diving school, facing (Facing has the sense of opposition) the admiration of his fellow divers.
The master chief is later demoted to senior chief by the commanding officer Mister Pappy and he is finally relegated to menial duties.
Thence, (ok, but formal and old fashioned)Carl rises quickly through the ranks and becomes a national hero. Later for recovering a missing bombs and for saving the life of navy crew in nuclear incident. (Incomplete sentence...later becomes?)
Carl loses his leg in this incident and sees his dream crumble. But with his perseverance and conviction, he returns to full active duty and to realize__ his dream to(of) be____ a diver.

Sherry


-------------------
Modifié par sherry48 le 14-01-2014 22:11





Réponse: Movie summary/aide de anto0105, postée le 14-01-2014 à 19:43:01 (S | E)
OK THANK YOU. I changed the text. what is the solution for gramar? present or past? please could you change ? it's hard for me. i give this homework tomorow...

In English class, we watched a movie called « Men of Honor ».
It’s a movie inspired by the true story of Carl Brashear,the first black American master diver in the USA.
The scene takes place in 1948,in his lifestyle in Kentucky with his father, a sharecropper.
We can observe that the relationship between the father and his son is strong.
Carl Brashear is determined to be the first black American diver, while it was time when the racism was very present.
Some years later, he decides to join the Navy to realize his dream and to overcome racism.
At the Bayonne diver's camp, Carl isn’t very well integrated with the group, because of his origin. Unfortunately, his master chief and trainer Billy Sunday is aggressive, alcoholic and isn’t friendly with/towards him. This isn’t easy for Carl because of Billy Sunday’s character which is opposed to the idea of a black Navy diver.
Billy Sunday wants to see that he fails and quits the Navy. Later he will prove that he is strong, with a lot of endurance and determination to win the respect of his fellow naval officers.Carl meets a librarian, a good woman who tutors him in reading when he has trouble with written exams.
The other famous character is Mister Pappy, the commanding officer of the group. He has the same ideas that Master Billy Sunday but he respects person.
In the ultimate test which is an underwater assembling task where each student had to assemble a flange underwater using a bag of tools. Master chief Billy Sunday cuts the Carl’s bag, but Carl finishes the assembly and successfully completes diving school, in front of the admiration of his fellow divers.
Master chief is later demoted to senior chief by commanding officer Mister Pappy and he is finally relegated to menial duties.
Hence,Carl rises quickly through the ranks and becomes a national hero for recovering a missing bombs and for saving the life of navy crew in nuclear incident.
Carl loses his leg in this incident and sees his dream crumble. But with his perseverance and conviction, he returns to full active duty realizes his dream of being a diver.



Réponse: Movie summary/aide de anto0105, postée le 14-01-2014 à 20:56:19 (S | E)
It's OK for me now. Thank you so much. See you soon !



Réponse: Movie summary/aide de sherry48, postée le 14-01-2014 à 21:05:10 (S | E)
Hello. Just a few more...

The scene takes place in 1948,in his lifestyle in Kentucky with his father, a sharecropper. You need something more here.

Carl Brashear is determined to be the first black American diver, at a time when the racism was very present.
...
At the Bayonne, New Jersey diver's camp, Carl isn’t very well integrated with the group because of his origin. Unfortunately, his master chief and trainer Billy Sunday is aggressive, alcoholic and isn’t friendly with/towards (not both)him.
....
He has the same ideas as Master Billy Sunday but he respects people.

In the ultimate test which is an underwater assembling task where each student had to assemble a flange underwater using a bag of tools. * Incomplete sentence

Master chief Billy Sunday cuts the Carl’s bag, but Carl finishes the assembly and successfully completes diving school, with the admiration of his fellow divers.
The Master chief (article needed without the name) is later demoted....
Hence, Carl rises quickly through the ranks and becomes a national hero for recovering a missing bombs (singular or plural?) and for saving the life or lives? of navy crew in a nuclear incident.
...he returns to full active duty, realizing his dream of being a diver.

Sherry




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