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Correction/Globalization

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction/Globalization
Message de etudiant59 posté le 13-02-2014 à 20:38:27 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
j'ai un devoir avec le sujet suivant : "Mc Donald's and Coca Cola are accused of spreading a standardised culture all over the world. Are they the only ones ? Do you feel that the expansion of such multinationals is a sign of progress ? ".
Si vous pouviez m'aider à corriger mon texte ce serait génial
Merci

Mc Donald’s and Coca Cola aren’t the only ones multinationals accused of spreading a standardized culture all over the world. Kentucky Fried Chicken for instance has 18.000 restaurants in 120 countries, but in trying to impose their own culture, they have difficulty in being respected. In India for instance, a KFC’s restaurant has been vandalized by farmers and anti-globalization protesters. If they hadn’t given so little importance to Indian Culture, they wouldn’t have closed down.
In a country like India, a multinational fast-food have to avoid to impose his own eating habits if it want to make profit. Otherwise, it will be accused of spreading their culture and of destroying people’s culture.
Another multinational, products of the big computing company Apple are now use in almost country of our planet. Apple can be accused, quite rightly, of spreading a standardized culture all over the world.

As for the question of the expansion of such multinationals, on the one hand it’s a sign of progress because it has contribute to creating a globalized world where the farthest corners of the planet are connected by new technologies like the internet or mobile phones. People can get to know and understand each other better. Moreover, globalization has created a lot of jobs, and consequently it can contribute to reducing poverty. But on the other hand, multinationals highlight the socio-economic disparities. I have no doubt on the fact that Apple manufacture its products in China by exploiting the population, and they don’t care. In a globalized word, money prevails over other values, wherever there’s a potential customer and money to be made, there’s a big company around the corner, regardless of the way it may affect people’s traditional way of life and culture.

So, Mc Donald’s and Coca Cola aren’t the only ones accused of spreading a standardized culture all over the world, and the expansion of such multinationals can be consider as a sign of progress despite its drawbacks.

Merci de votre aide

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 13-02-2014 20:52


Réponse: Correction/Globalization de etudiant59, postée le 16-02-2014 à 11:26:56 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Je sais que c'est un gros travail que je demande mais si quelqu'un pouvait s'occuper ne serait ce que d'un seul paragraphe ce serait vraiment bien En plus je ne pense pas qu'il y ait beaucoup de fautes donc ça devrait être assez rapide à corriger ^^
Merci de votre aide



Réponse: Correction/Globalization de lucile83, postée le 16-02-2014 à 11:50:14 (S | E)
Hello,

Les erreurs sont en bleu
Mc Donald’s and Coca Cola aren’t the only ones multinationals accused of spreading a standardized culture all over the world. Kentucky Fried Chicken for instance has manque un mot 18.000 restaurants in 120 countries, but in trying to impose their own culture, they have difficulty in being respected. In India for instance, a KFC’s restaurant has been vandalized by farmers and anti-globalization protesters. If they hadn’t given so little importance to Indian Culture, they wouldn’t have closed down.
In a country like India, a multinational fast-food have to avoid to impose his own eating habits if it want to make profit. Otherwise, it will be accused of spreading their culture and of destroying people’s culture...répétition.
Another multinational, products of the big computing company Apple are now use in almost country of our planetcette phrase n'est pas claire du tout. Apple can be accused, quite rightly, of spreading a standardized culture all over the world.



Réponse: Correction/Globalization de etudiant59, postée le 16-02-2014 à 14:45:00 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup pour ton aide



Réponse: Correction/Globalization de etudiant59, postée le 16-02-2014 à 14:45:51 (S | E)
Si quelqu'un pouvait m'aider dans la correction du deuxième paragraphe ce serait super



Réponse: Correction/Globalization de sherry48, postée le 16-02-2014 à 15:08:58 (S | E)
Hello. Here are some things to take another look at.

As for the question of the expansion of such multinationals, on the one hand it’s a sign of progress because it has contribute__ to creating You could use the noun. a globalized world where the farthest corners of the planet are connected by new technologies like the internet or mobile phones. People can get to know and understand each other better. Moreover, globalization has created a lot of jobs, and consequently it can contribute to reducing (noun + preposition?) poverty. But on the other hand, multinationals highlight the socio-economic disparities. I have no doubt on the fact that Apple manufacture__ its products in China by exploiting the population, and they don’t care. In a globalized word, money prevails over other values. W herever there’s a potential customer and money to be made, there’s a big company around the corner, regardless of the way it may affect people’s traditional way of life and culture.

So, McDonald’s and Coca Cola aren’t the only ones accused of spreading a standardized culture all over the world, and* the expansion of such multinationals can be consider as a sign of progress despite its drawbacks.

Instead of multinationals, at least once you could use multinational as an adjective with a noun.
You wrote that you have no doubt, etc....This seems to be an opinion, so you could include that, perhaps in the last part of the sentence.
*Do you think that 'and' is the best conjunction here? It seems that the second phrase is somewhat opposed to the first phrase.
Sherry



Réponse: Correction/Globalization de lucile83, postée le 16-02-2014 à 15:19:32 (S | E)
Hello,

As for the question of the expansion of such multinationals, on the one hand it’s a sign of progress because it has contribute to creating/ use a noun a globalized world where the farthest corners of the planet are connected by new technologies like the internet or mobile phones. People can get to know and understand each other better. Moreover, globalization has created a lot of jobs, and consequently it can contribute to reducing / use a noun poverty. But on the other hand, multinationals highlight the socio-economic disparities. I have no doubt on the fact that Apple manufacture its products in China by exploiting the population, and ...manque qqchose they don’t care. In a globalized word, money prevails over other values, wherever there’s a potential customer and money to be made/ répétition, there’s a big company around the corner, regardless of the way it may affect people’s traditional way of life and culture.

So, Mc Donald’s and Coca Cola aren’t the only ones accused of spreading a standardized culture all over the world, and the expansion of such multinationals can be consider as a sign of progress despite its drawbacks.



Réponse: Correction/Globalization de etudiant59, postée le 18-02-2014 à 21:29:03 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup pour vos réponses




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