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Aboriginal/Correction

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Aboriginal/Correction
Message de kaleid posté le 25-02-2015 à 16:47:31 (S | E | F)
Bonjour!
Je souhaiterais que quelqu'un puisse m'aider à corriger mon texte.
Je remercie d'avance ceux ou celles qui prendront le temps de m'aider!

These scenes take place during the colonization of Australia by the Whites.On the first picture , we can see the Bristish settler who are newly arrived to Australia.The firts think that they will do was to plant their flag and salute it.Moreover we can recognize capitaine Arthur Phillip who was the fist colon of Australia! Aside from them we distinguish two Arboriginal who are lookung to the flag but don't seem to understand what is it.
On the other cartoon,we can catch a glimpse of the situation of the Arboriginal,some are are playing football and seem to be happy other are working to the school and ones are cooking.

I think that the flag of the first image is the British flag since the colons are salutating it,on the right we can see a settler who the salute on the Arborigines.It's a lack of intelligence from this settler,since Arboriginal and Brithish doesn't have the same language. Moreover in the background, we can see the sea and also the ship of the british colons.

On the other side, at the top we can perceive signpost that reads differents directions... one say "Hope 2000k",another tell "Jobs 1650". I think that this sign denounce the awnful,dreadful and appaling treatment of the Aborigines, who are reduced to a simple slave deprived and driven off of their land.

The cartoonist's goals is surely to expose the dreadful,despaired and terrible injustices suffered by the Aborigines since the colonization of their land.If I have to give a title to the cartoons,I will give them: "Salute the despairs" for the firs cartoon and for the second I will give him "The direction of an awnful land"

I thinks that the funnier picture is the first since the settle is stupid enough to try to oblige Arboriginal to salute their flage even if they don't understand their language and civilization.Moreover the face of all the characters are drawn in a weird way.

Sur ce je vous souhaite une bonne journée!

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 25-02-2015 17:16



Réponse: Aboriginal/Correction de yaya18, postée le 25-02-2015 à 17:11:06 (S | E)
Hello kaleid,

These scenes take (tense) place during the colonization of Australia by the Whites.On the first picture , we can see the Bristish settler (plural) who are newly arrived to Australia.The firts (spelling mistake) think (Did you want to say "thing" ?) that they will do (tense) was to plant their flag (plural) and salute it.Moreover we can recognize capitaine Arthur Phillip who was the fist (spelling mistake) colon of Australia! Aside from them we distinguish two Arboriginal who are lookung (spelling mistake) to the flag but don't seem to understand what is it.
On the other cartoon,we can catch a glimpse of the situation of the Arboriginal,some XX are are (just one time) playing football and seem to be happy XXX other are working to the school (sens ?) and ones are cooking.

I think that the flag of the first image is the British flag since the colons are salutating it,on the right we can see a settler who the salute on the Arborigines.It's a lack of intelligence from this settler,since Arboriginal and Brithish doesn't have the same language. Moreover in the background, we can see the sea and also the ship of the british colons.

On the other side, at the top we can perceive signpost that reads differents directions... one say "Hope 2000k",another tell "Jobs 1650". I think that this sign denounce the awnful (spelling error),dreadful and appaling (spelling error) treatment of the Aborigines, who are reduced to a simple slave deprived and driven off of their land.

The cartoonist's goals is surely to expose the dreadful,despaired and terrible injustices suffered by the Aborigines since the colonization of their land.If I have to (tense) give a title to the cartoons,I will give them: "Salute the despairs" for the firs cartoon and for the second I will give him "The direction of an awnful land"

I thinks (1st singular person) that the funnier picture is the first since the settle is stupid enough to try to oblige Arboriginal to salute their flage even if they don't understand their language and civilization.Moreover the face of all the characters are drawn in a weird way.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 25-02-2015 17:17
Correction incomplète



Réponse: Aboriginal/Correction de here4u, postée le 25-02-2015 à 19:50:32 (S | E)
hello !

These scenes take place during the colonization of Australia by the Whites.On the first picture , we can see the Bristish settler who are newly arrived to Australia.The firts think that they will do was to plant their flag and salute it.Moreover we can recognize capitaine Arthur Phillip who was the fist colon of Australia! Aside from them we distinguish two Arboriginal who are lookung to the flag but don't seem to understand what is it.
On the other cartoon,we can catch a glimpse of the situation of the Arboriginal,some are are playing football and seem to be happy other are working to the school and ones are cooking.

I think that the flag of the first image is the British flag since the colons are salutating it,on the right we can see a settler who the salute on the Arborigines????.It's a lack of intelligence from this settler,since Arboriginal and BrithishXXXXXX doesn't have the same language.??? Moreover in the background, we can see the sea and also the ship of the british colons.

On the other side, at the top we can perceive X signpost that reads differents directions... one say "Hope 2000k",another tell "Jobs 1650". I think that this sign denounce the awnful,dreadful and appaling treatment of the Aborigines, who are reduced to a simple slaveS deprived and driven off of their landS.

The cartoonist's goals is surely to expose the dreadful,despaired and terrible injustices suffered by the Aborigines since the colonization of their land.If I have to give a title to the cartoons,I will give them: "Salute the despairs" for the firs cartoon and for the second xxx I will give him "The direction of an awnful land"

I thinks that the funnier picture is the first xxx since the settle is stupid enough to try to oblige Arboriginal to salute their flage even if they don't understand their language and civilization.Moreover the face of all the characters are drawn in a weird way.

Oh dear ... A lot of work to be done ...I hope it'll help ...



Réponse: Aboriginal/Correction de kaleid, postée le 26-02-2015 à 23:04:43 (S | E)
Bonsoir!
Je tiens tout d'abord à vous remercier tout les deux pour votre aide!
Voici le texte après correction:

These scenes take place (Sur ce coup je ne vois pas ma faute) during the colonization of Australia by the Whites.In the first picture , we can see the British settlers who were newly arrived Australia.The first thing that they did was to plant their flag and salute it.Moreover we can recognize captain Arthur Phillip who was the fist settler of Australia! Besides them we distinguish two Arboriginal(j'ai vérifié,et c'est le bon orthographe) who are looking the flag but don't seem to understand what it symbolize.
In the other cartoon,we can catch a glimpse of the situation of the Arboriginal(pareil),some are playing football and seem to be happy others are working at the school and some are cooking.

I think that the flag of the first image is the British flag since the settlers are saluting it,on the right we can see a settler who impose the salute on the Arborigines.It's a lack of intelligence from this settler,since Arboriginal(pareil) and the Brithish settlers didn't talk the same language. Moreover in the background, we can see the sea and also the ship of the British settlers.

On the other side, at the top we can perceive a signpost that reads differents directions.One road reads "Hope 2000k",another tells "Jobs 1650". I think that this sign denounces the awful,dreadful and appalling treatment of the Aborigines, who are reduced to simple slaves deprived and driven off of their lands.

The cartoonist's goals is surely to expose the dreadful,despair and terrible injustices suffered by the Aborigines since the colonization of their land.If I had to give a title to the cartoons,I give them: "Salute the despair" for the first cartoon and for the second "The direction of an awnful land"

I think that the funnier picture is the first cartoon because the settler is stupid enough to try to oblige Arboriginal to salute their flag even if they don't understand their language and civilization.Moreover the faces of all the characters are drawn in a weird way.



Réponse: Aboriginal/Correction de kaleid, postée le 01-03-2015 à 14:12:37 (S | E)
Bonjour!

Voilà le nouveau texte,j'ai décidé de le changer en faisant des amélioration!

These scenes take place during the colonization of Australia by the Whites.In the first picture , we can see the British settlers who were newly arrived Australia.Bu the first thing that they did was to plant their flag and salute it,it looks like there were marking that this country was their.We can also recognize captain Arthur Phillip who was the fist settler of Australia! Besides them we distinguish two Aboriginals who are looking the flag but don't seem to understand what it symbolize.Moreover in the background, we can see the sea and also the ship of the British settlers.
Finaly,we can see a settler who tries to impose the salute on the Arborigines.But it's a lack of intelligence from him,since the Aboriginals and the Brithish didn't talk the same language.

In the other cartoon,we can catch a glimpse of the situation of the Aboriginals after beeing colonized by the Whites.We can perceive a school,a house,a car...but also a signpost that reads differents directions.One reads "Hope 2000k",another "Jobs 1650k"...
Beside wa can see that there are some Aboriginals who are happy,other are sad and ones are crying.

I think that the cartoonist's goals is surely to expose thee lack of possibility of the Aborigines since there were colonized but also he tries to denounces the harsh reality that the Aboriginals were confronted with,there were reduced to slaves without the possibility to rise in the hierarchy.Moreover there were deprivedand driven off of their land.But against all of that it seem that they had a good prospects since there are some Aborigines who are happy.




Réponse: Aboriginal/Correction de kaleid, postée le 02-03-2015 à 19:55:39 (S | E)





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