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Bac/Espaces et échanges

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Bac/Espaces et échanges
Message de tom2153 posté le 12-05-2015 à 20:31:55 (S | E | F)
Bonjour
je passe mon oral d'anglais dans une semaine. J'ai rédigé la deuxième notion pour le Bac. Si vous pouviez m'aider à la corriger et me dire ce que vous en pensez ce serait super sympa de votre part. Toute correction ou conseil serait le bienvenu. Je vous en remercie à l'avance pour votre aide.

I am going to present you the notion « Spaces and exchanges ». I am thus going to define the notion. The exchange it is the movement of people or goods between countries thanks to the immigration, the tourism and the business. The interactions and the exchanges through the borders became easier and faster. We are thus entitled to wonder : In what had the various waves of immigration an impact on the American society nowadays? To approach this question, I am going to develop my opinion through three points: First of all we shall see the reasons of this immigration then we shall speak living conditions of the immigrants and we shall eventually speak consequences of this immigration.

The United States of America of today it is 42,08 million immigrants that is 13 % of the population. The main reason is that America is presented as a country of asylum accessible to all those who hope to build up themselves, by their work and their audacity, a new life. It is the idea that we are made of America. A country where each has a chance: the American dream

The conditions of the immigrants are not still good. For example, in the book The Tortilla Curtain, we face two clandestin characters, América and Candido, who have a miserable life. This text tells us the story of Candido, a clandestine Mexican who living in California with his partner América is knocked by the car of Delaney. The young Mexican will not wish conscript the police or the ambulance by fear to be returned in Mexico. Indeed, we know that the obtaining of a definitive resident's permit is very difficult to get itself, what suggests us the presence of numerous illegal immigrants on the American territory.
The result of this wave of immigration was the creation of diverse foreign communities of origin. The latter allowed the construction of the cities of the USA and they gave their life for their new countries. We can perceive nowadays various districts such as Chinatown or Harlem who group diverse ethnic groups.

Even if at first the immigrants were badly accepted, they managed to give way in this country which became theirs. They allowed the construction of an American company(society) the origins and the diversified cultures.
Besides as said Franklin Roosevelt: « Remember you, remember you forever, that each of us, you and I in particular, come down from immigrants and from revolutionaries. »

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 12-05-2015 23:14


Réponse: Bac/Espaces et échanges de gerondif, postée le 12-05-2015 à 23:05:43 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
erreurs en bleu, corrections en vert.

I am going to present to you the notion « Spaces and exchanges ». I am thus going to define the notion. The exchange it is the movement of people or goods between countries thanks to the immigration, the tourism and the business. The interactions and the exchanges through the borders became easier and faster. We are thus entitled to wonder : In what had the various waves of immigration an impact on the American society nowadays? To approach this question, I am going to develop my opinion through three points: First of all we shall see the reasons of this immigration then we shall speak about the living conditions of the immigrants and we shall eventually speak about the consequences of this immigration. (shall fait soit très pédant, soit très vieillot!)

The United States of America of today it is 42,08( ce serait forty two point o eight, j'arrondirais si j'étais vous) million immigrants that is 13 % of the population. The main reason is that America is presented as a country of asylum accessible to all those who hope to build themselves up, by their work and their audacity, a new life. It is the idea that we are made of America. A country where each(everybody) has a chance: the American dream

The conditions of the immigrants are not still good. For example, in the book The Tortilla Curtain, we face two clandestin characters, América and Candido, who have a miserable life. This text tells us the story of Candido, a clandestine Mexican who living in California with his partner América who is knocked by the car of(maladroit, cas possessif) Delaney. The young Mexican will not wish conscript(charabia, traduction mot-à-mot) the police or the ambulance by fear to be returned(ce n'est pas du courrier) in Mexico. Indeed, we know that the obtaining of a definitive resident's permit is very difficult to get itself, what suggests us the presence of numerous illegal immigrants on the American territory.

The result of this wave of immigration was the creation of diverse foreign communities of origin. The latter allowed the construction of the cities of the USA and they gave their life for their new countries. We can perceive nowadays various districts such as Chinatown or Harlem who group diverse ethnic groups.

Even if at first the immigrants were badly accepted, they managed to give way in this country which became theirs. They allowed the construction of an American company(society)(quand vous laissez les deux mots, ça sent le traducteur automatique!!) the origins and the diversified cultures.
Besides as said(mal placé) Franklin Roosevelt: « Remember you("Souvenez-vous? remember you??ça m'étonnerait que Roosevelt ait sorti une telle conjugaison!!), remember you forever, that each of us, you and I in particular, come down from immigrants and from revolutionaries. »



Réponse: Bac/Espaces et échanges de tom2153, postée le 14-05-2015 à 19:26:10 (S | E)
Voici grâce à votre aide les corrections que j'ai pu apporter:

I am going to present to you the notion « Spaces and exchanges ». I am thus going to define the notion. The exchange is the movement of people or goods between countries thanks to immigration, tourism and business. The interactions and the exchanges through the borders became easier and faster. We are thus entitled to wonder : In what had the various waves of immigration an impact on the American society nowadays? To approach this question, I am going to develop my opinion through three points: First of all we shall see the reasons of this immigration then we shall speak about the living conditions of the immigrants and we shall eventually speak about the consequences of this immigration.

The United States of America of today is 42 million immigrants that is 13 % of the population. The main reason is that America is presented as a country of asylum accessible to all those who hope to build up themselves, by their work and their audacity, a new life. It is the idea that we are made of America. A country where everybody has a chance: the American dream

The conditions of the immigrants are not always good. For example, in the book The Tortilla Curtain, we face two clandestin characters, América and Candido, who have a miserable life. This text tells us the story of Candido, a clandestine Mexican while living in California with his partner América who is knocked by the Delaney's car. The young Mexican will not want to call the police or the ambulance by fear to be bring back in Mexico. Indeed, we know that the obtaining of a definitive resident's permit is very difficult to acquire, which suggests us the presence of numerous illegal immigrants on the American territory.
The result of this wave of immigration was the creation of diverse foreign communities of origin. The latter allowed the construction of the cities of the USA and they gave their life for their new countries. We can perceive nowadays various districts such as Chinatown or Harlem which group diverse ethnic groups.

Even if at first the immigrants were badly accepted, they managed to give way in this country which became theirs. They allowed the construction of an American society the origins and the diversified cultures.
Besides as said Franklin Roosevelt: « Remember, remember forever, that each of us, you and I in particular, come down from immigrants and from revolutionaries. »



Réponse: Bac/Espaces et échanges de gerondif, postée le 14-05-2015 à 23:35:27 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
je vois en relisant que j'avais raté certaines maladresses.

I am going to present to you the notion « Spaces and exchanges ». I am thus going to (let me first define the notion serait beaucoup moins pédant) define the notion. The exchange is the movement of people or goods between countries thanks to immigration, tourism and business. The interactions and the exchanges through the borders became easier and faster. We are thus entitled to wonder : In what had (forme interrogative en did)the various waves of immigration an impact on the American society nowadays? To approach this question, I am going to develop my opinion through three points: First of all we shall see the reasons of this immigration then we shall speak about the living conditions of the immigrants and we shall eventually speak about the consequences of this immigration.

The United States of America of today is (il vaudrait mieux passer par "il y a aux usa 42 m d'immigrés...) 42 million immigrants that is 13 % of the population. The main reason is that America is presented as a country of asylum accessible to all those who hope to build up themselves,(trop loin du mot life et un peu compliqué, all those who hope to have a new life...) by their work and their audacity, a new life. It is the idea that we are made of America. A country where everybody has a chance: the American dream

The conditions of the immigrants are not always good. For example, in the book The Tortilla Curtain, we face two clandestine characters, América and Candido, who have a miserable life. This text tells us the story of Candido, a clandestine Mexican while(à supprimer) living in California with his partner América who is knocked down by the Delaney's car. The young Mexican will not want(un présent simple irait mieux) to call the police or the ambulance by fear to
(un double click sur fear donne:for fear of(+ ing) [sth] expr (being afraid of) par peur de loc prép
be bring back in to Mexico. Indeed, we know that the obtaining of a definitive resident's permit is very difficult (to acquire)(on a déjà obtaining au début), which suggests us the presence of numerous illegal immigrants on the American territory.
The result of this wave of immigration was the creation of diverse foreign communities of origin. The latter(lourd! they va suffire) allowed the construction of the cities of the USA and they gave their life for their new countries. We can perceive(drôle de verbe) nowadays various districts such as Chinatown or Harlem which group diverse ethnic groups.

Even if at first the immigrants were badly accepted, they managed to give way in(donner naissance à irait bien, give way, céder le pas ? me paraît faux) this country which became theirs. They allowed the construction of an American society the origins (sens ? comment les immigrants peuvent-ils donner naissance aux origines ?) and the diversified cultures.
Besides as said(il est toujours mal placé, il doit venir derrière le sujet) Franklin Roosevelt: « Remember, remember forever, that each of us, you and I in particular, come down from immigrants and from revolutionaries. »



Réponse: Bac/Espaces et échanges de tom2153, postée le 15-05-2015 à 14:05:18 (S | E)
I am going to present to you the notion « Spaces and exchanges ».Let me first define the notion. The exchange is the movement of people or goods between countries thanks to immigration, tourism and business. The interactions and the exchanges through the borders became easier and faster. We are thus entitled to wonder : In what did the various waves of immigration had an impact on the American society nowadays? To approach this question, I am going to develop my opinion through three points: First of all we shall see the reasons of this immigration then we shall speak about the living conditions of the immigrants and we shall eventually speak about the consequences of this immigration.

There is in the United States of America of today 42 million immigrants that is 13 % of the population. The main reason is that America is presented as a country of asylum accessible to all those who hope to have a new life, by their work and their audacity, a new life. It is the idea that we are made of America. A country where everybody has a chance: the American dream

The conditions of the immigrants are not always good. For example, in the book The Tortilla Curtain, we face two clandestine characters, América and Candido, who have a miserable life. This text tells us the story of Candido, a clandestine Mexican living in California with his partner América who is knocked down by Delaney's car. The young Mexican want not to call the police or the ambulance for fear of being bring back to Mexico. Indeed, we know that obtaining a definitive resident's permit is very difficult, which suggests us the presence of numerous illegal immigrants on the American territory.

The result of this wave of immigration was the creation of diverse foreign communities of origin. They allowed the construction of the cities of the USA and they gave their life for their new countries. We can observe nowadays various districts such as Chinatown or Harlem which group diverse ethnic groups.

Even if at first the immigrants were badly accepted, they managed to give birth in this country which became theirs. They allowed the construction of an American society the diversified origins and the diversified cultures.
Besides as Franklin Roosevelt said: « Remember, remember forever, that each of us, you and I in particular, come down from immigrants and from revolutionaries. »



Réponse: Bac/Espaces et échanges de gerondif, postée le 15-05-2015 à 17:13:58 (S | E)
Bonjour,
corriger ne signifie pas simplement recopier mes indications sans réfléchir.
Regardez:
In what did the various waves of immigration had an impact Vous ne savez plus conjuguer une forme interrogative? auxiliaire + sujet + base verbale.

The young Mexican want not to call the police. Vous ne savez plus faire un présent simple négatif , "I don't know", présent simple négatif, est pourtant souvent entendu.

There is 42 million immigrants: Ca fait beaucoup, un pluriel s'imposerait.

all those who hope to have a new life, by their work and their audacity, a new life.supprimez au moins le dernier
"a new life"

or fear of being bring back to Mexico. de peur d'être prendre ou d'être pris: participe passé !


I am going to present to you the notion « Spaces and exchanges ».Let me first define the notion. The exchange is the movement of people or goods between countries thanks to immigration, tourism and business. The interactions and the exchanges through the borders became easier and faster. We are thus entitled to wonder : In what did the various waves of immigration had an impact on the American society nowadays? To approach this question, I am going to develop my opinion through three points: First of all we shall see the reasons of this immigration then we shall speak about the living conditions of the immigrants and we shall eventually speak about the consequences of this immigration.

There is in the United States of America of today 42 million immigrants that is 13 % of the population. The main reason is that America is presented as a country of asylum accessible to all those who hope to have a new life, by their work and their audacity, a new life. It is the idea that we are made of America. A country where everybody has a chance: the American dream

The conditions of the immigrants are not always good. For example, in the book The Tortilla Curtain, we face two clandestine characters, América and Candido, who have a miserable life. This text tells us the story of Candido, a clandestine Mexican living in California with his partner América who is knocked down by Delaney's car. The young Mexican want not to call the police or the ambulance for fear of being bring back to Mexico. Indeed, we know that obtaining a definitive resident's permit is very difficult, which suggests us the presence of numerous illegal immigrants on the American territory.

The result of this wave of immigration was the creation of diverse foreign communities of origin. They allowed the construction of the cities of the USA and they gave their life for their new countries. We can observe nowadays various districts such as Chinatown or Harlem which group diverse ethnic groups.

Even if at first the immigrants were badly accepted, they managed to give birth in this country which became theirs. They allowed the construction of an American society the with diversified origins and the diversified cultures.
Besides as Franklin Roosevelt said: « Remember, remember forever, that each of us, you and I in particular, come down from immigrants and from revolutionaries. »



Réponse: Bac/Espaces et échanges de tom2153, postée le 17-05-2015 à 09:45:44 (S | E)
I am going to present to you the notion « Spaces and exchanges ».Let me first define the notion. The exchange is the movement of people or goods between countries thanks to immigration, tourism and business. The interactions and the exchanges through the borders became easier and faster. We are thus entitled to wonder : In what did the various waves of immigration have an impact on the American society nowadays? To approach this question, I am going to develop my opinion through three points: First of all we shall see the reasons of this immigration then we shall speak about the living conditions of the immigrants and we shall eventually speak about the consequences of this immigration.

There are in the United States of America of today 42 million immigrants that is 13 % of the population. The main reason is that America is presented as a country of asylum accessible to all those who hope to have a new life, by their work and their audacity. It is the idea that we are made of America. A country where everybody has a chance: the American dream

The conditions of the immigrants are not always good. For example, in the book The Tortilla Curtain, we face two clandestine characters, América and Candido, who have a miserable life. This text tells us the story of Candido, a clandestine Mexican living in California with his partner América who is knocked down by Delaney's car. The young Mexican doesn't want to call the police or the ambulance for fear of being brought back to Mexico. Indeed, we know that obtaining a definitive resident's permit is very difficult, which suggests us the presence of numerous illegal immigrants on the American territory.

The result of this wave of immigration was the creation of diverse foreign communities of origin. They allowed the construction of the cities of the USA and they gave their life for their new countries. We can observe nowadays various districts such as Chinatown or Harlem which group diverse ethnic groups.

Even if at first the immigrants were badly accepted, they managed to give birth in this country which became theirs. They allowed the construction of an American society with diversified origins and diversified cultures.
Besides as Franklin Roosevelt said: « Remember, remember forever, that each of us, you and I in particular, come down from immigrants and from revolutionaries. »



Réponse: Bac/Espaces et échanges de gerondif, postée le 17-05-2015 à 19:02:29 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
they managed to give birth in this country which became theirs.
Ils ont donné naissance au pays, pas dans le pays.



Réponse: Bac/Espaces et échanges de tom2153, postée le 17-05-2015 à 20:52:52 (S | E)
I am going to present to you the notion « Spaces and exchanges ».Let me first define the notion. The exchange is the movement of people or goods between countries thanks to immigration, tourism and business. The interactions and the exchanges through the borders became easier and faster. We are thus entitled to wonder : In what did the various waves of immigration have an impact on the American society nowadays? To approach this question, I am going to develop my opinion through three points: First of all we shall see the reasons of this immigration then we shall speak about the living conditions of the immigrants and we shall eventually speak about the consequences of this immigration.

There are in the United States of America of today 42 million immigrants that is 13 % of the population. The main reason is that America is presented as a country of asylum accessible to all those who hope to have a new life, by their work and their audacity. It is the idea that we are made of America. A country where everybody has a chance: the American dream

The conditions of the immigrants are not always good. For example, in the book The Tortilla Curtain, we face two clandestine characters, América and Candido, who have a miserable life. This text tells us the story of Candido, a clandestine Mexican living in California with his partner América who is knocked down by Delaney's car. The young Mexican doesn't want to call the police or the ambulance for fear of being brought back to Mexico. Indeed, we know that obtaining a definitive resident's permit is very difficult, which suggests us the presence of numerous illegal immigrants on the American territory.

The result of this wave of immigration was the creation of diverse foreign communities of origin. They allowed the construction of the cities of the USA and they gave their life for their new countries. We can observe nowadays various districts such as Chinatown or Harlem which group diverse ethnic groups.

Even if at first the immigrants were badly accepted, they managed to give birth at this country which became theirs. They allowed the construction of an American society with diversified origins and diversified cultures.
Besides as Franklin Roosevelt said: « Remember, remember forever, that each of us, you and I in particular, come down from immigrants and from revolutionaries. »




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