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Correction/Mohamed Ali

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction/Mohamed Ali
Message de jean570 posté le 30-01-2016 à 19:32:06 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,
j'ai écrit un texte en anglais qui est assez long et j'aimerais avoir votre aide pour me corriger car j'ai sûrement fait beaucoup d'erreurs, j'ai travaillé pendant 5h sur ce texte afin qu'il soit bien car ceci est pour un examen.
Merci d'avance.

I’m going to tell you the story of the greatest boxer of all times : Mohamed Ali.

During the World War II, Odessa Clay gave birth to the little Cassius Marcellus Clay on January 17th 1942 in Louisville. This woman worked as cleaning lady and cooking for white families and his father selled religious engravings. Without being rich, this family gave a correct education to their children. When he was twelve years old, the young Cassius Clay was a victim of a bicycle theft. Very annoyed, he met a policeman and promised him that he will impose a correction to the thief. So the policeman advised him to learn boxing. This child followed his advice and began taking boxing lessons. It was during this period that he wanted to become the strongest and the best boxer. A few weeks later he played his first fight and claimed his first victory, Cassius Clay became love of this sport and trained a lot. Boxing became his only activity, he competed for 108 fights with the amateurs and won many national titles in the categories of youth before being eighteen years old. In 1960, Cassius Clay was very premature and became an Olympic champion of boxing during the Olympics games in Roma. He was a victim of segregation in Louisville but he was sponsored by the Louisville Sponsoring Group (LSG) which put him in contact with Angelo Dundee, his future coach. With this coach Cassius Clay began to fight in the heavyweight class with a very special technique. In fact, he was dancing in the ring trying to touch his opponents at bay. This great boxer had a very strong personality, he was also the king of provocation and put all the media on his side. He became the first boxer to talk a lot with journalist. In 1964 he became the youngest world champion heavyweight. Little time after his victory he joined the Nation Of Islam and became Mohamed Ali. Then, in 1967, it was the Vietnam War, so he was requested by the military but he refused and pronounced this audacious sentence : “I will not quarrel with the Vietcong, no Vietcong ever treated me dirty negro”. After these remarks, Ali didn’t have the right to get in the ring, the world champion could not do his job. During his last fight of the year 1967, Ali fought against Ernie Terrell which provoked Mohamed Ali by calling him “Clay”. He put him knockout by asking him on the ring “What’s my name ?”. After his suspension he hasn’t boxed for two years but he gave conferences in universities to earn money. Mohamed Ali was the first personality of the country to speak out against the Vietnam war. In 1970, the national opinion changed and he could back into the ring. He realised a first fight before facing the world champion Joe Frazier who was unbeaten on March 8th 1971. After 2 years of absence, Ali lost vivacity and he lost against Frazier in 15 rounds. He then makes new fighting but the greatest moment of his career arrived in 1974, Ali has to face the overpowering George Foreman in a fight who was scheduled in Kinshasa and organized by promoter Don King, who managed to get a grant of $ 10 million for both boxers. Foreman won all this fights by knockout, he had “lightning in their hands”, he won 37 fights by knockout. Many people thought it was very dangerous for Ali to do this fight because he is 32 years old and Foreman was the favorite for this fight. Mohamed Ali realised a legendary comeback, indeed he felt comfortable in Kinshasa. During the weeks before his fight, he was already in Kinshasa and was very popular with inhabitants more than George Foreman who was however a world champion. Ali knew that he could not compete physically Foreman, so he chose to adopt a more careful strategy and planned to undergo the fight and tiring his opponent. He happened to put knockout Foreman in the 8th round and became again a world champion. So this great boxer is entered into history and her dream came true, he became the best boxer with all his titles. Finally Mohamed Ali became a symbolic personality, he is part of the small number of personalities who by their actions and through their commitment are now a member of the heritage of humanity. Unfortunately, he is affected by Parkinson’s disease since 1982.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 30-01-2016 21:31
Texte trop compact!


Réponse: Correction/Mohamed Ali de gerondif, postée le 31-01-2016 à 12:09:32 (S | E)
Bonjour,
erreurs en bleu, corrections en vert

I’m going to tell you the story of the greatest boxer of all times : Mohamed Ali.

During the World War II, Odessa Clay gave birth to the little Cassius Marcellus Clay on January 17th 1942 in Louisville. This woman worked as a cleaning lady and cooking (prétérit) for white families and his father selled(verbe irrégulier) religious engravings.

Without being rich (français traduit, passez par "bien que"), this family gave a correct education to their children. When he was twelve years old, the young Cassius Clay was a victim of a bicycle theft. Very annoyed, he met a policeman and promised him that he will impose a correction to (1) conditionnel, 2) expression française) the thief. So the policeman advised him to learn boxing. This child followed his advice and began taking boxing lessons. It was during this period that he wanted(plutôt decided, verbe d'action, wantes est un état d'esprit ) to become the strongest and the best boxer in the world. A few weeks later he played(on joue un combat?) his first fight and claimed his first victory, Cassius Clay became love of(n'a pas de sens to fall in love with) this sport and trained a lot. Boxing became his only activity, he competed for(ce pendant (for) ne va pas et on ne "compete" pas "a fight") 108 fights with the amateurs and won many national titles in the categories of youth(français traduit, les catégories des jeunes?) before being eighteen years old. In 1960, Cassius Clay was very premature(ne convient pas) and became an Olympic champion of boxing(nom composé avec champion) during the Olympics games in Roma. He was a victim of segregation in Louisville but he was sponsored by the Louisville Sponsoring Group (LSG) which put him in contact with Angelo Dundee, his future coach. With this coach Cassius Clay began to fight in the heavyweight class with a very special technique. In fact, he was dancing in the ring trying to touch his opponents at bay. This great boxer had a very strong personality, he was also the king of provocation and put all the media on his side. He became the first boxer to talk a lot with journalists. In 1964 he became the youngest world champion heavyweight (inverser). Little time after his victory he joined the Nation Of Islam and became Mohamed Ali. Then, in 1967, it was (maladroit) the Vietnam War, so he was requested (ne convient pas, le verbe militaire est draft) by the military but he refused and pronounced this audacious sentence : “I will not quarrel with the Vietcong, no Vietcong ever treated(utilisez call) me a dirty negro”. After these remarks, Ali didn’t have the right to( maladroit utilisez allow) get in the ring, the world champion could not do his job. During his last fight of the year 1967, Ali fought against Ernie Terrell which provoked Mohamed Ali by calling him “Clay”. He put him knockout(français traduit) by(non, ce n'est pas la question qui l'a mis KO) asking him on the ring “What’s my name ?”. After his suspension he hasn’t boxed(prétérit) for two years but he gave conferences in universities to earn money. Mohamed Ali was the first personality of the country to speak out against the Vietnam war. In 1970, the national opinion changed and he could (manque le verbe) back into the ring. He realised(ne va pas) a first fight before facing the world champion Joe Frazier who was unbeaten on March 8th 1971. After 2 years of absence, Ali lost vivacity and he lost against Frazier in 15 rounds. He then makes new fighting but the greatest moment of his career arrived(maladroit utilisez le verbe être ou bine take place) in 1974, Ali has (prétérit) to face the overpowering George Foreman in a fight who was scheduled in Kinshasa and organized by promoter Don King, who managed to get a grant of $ 10 million for both boxers. Foreman won (j'aurais mis had won) all this fights by knockout, he had “lightning in their hands”, he won 37 fights by knockout. Many people thought it was very dangerous for Ali to do this fight because he is (prétérit) 32 years old and Foreman was the favorite for this fight. Mohamed Ali realised (signifie se rendre compte et non pas réaliser au sens de faire utilisez make)a legendary comeback, indeed he felt comfortable in Kinshasa. During the weeks before his fight, he was already in Kinshasa and was very popular with inhabitants more than George Foreman who was however a world champion. Ali knew that he could not compete physically with Foreman, so he chose to adopt a more careful strategy and planned to undergo the fight and tiring his opponent. He happened to put knockout Foreman (vous confondez arriver, se produire, avoir lieu = happen et arriver à , réussir à = to manage to: votre expression mettre ko est fausse)in the 8th round and became again a world champion. So this great boxer is entered into (verbe transitif je crois qu'on dit to go down into history ou go down in history)

♦ go down in history phrase V inflects
Bradley will go down in history as Los Angeles' longest serving mayor.

Donald Trump May Go Down into History As the US President With the Hottest First Lady If Elected



history and her (il n'a pas changé de sexe!) dream came true, he became the best boxer with all his titles. Finally Mohamed Ali became a symbolical personality, he is part of the small number of personalities who by their actions and through their commitment are now a member of the heritage of humanity. Unfortunately, he is(present perfect avec depuis) affected by Parkinson’s disease since 1982.





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