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Essai/Brexit

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Essai/Brexit
Message de rumble posté le 10-04-2016 à 18:39:36 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Pouvez-vous m'aider à corriger ce texte s'il vous plait?
Merci pour vos réponses.


Since the Subprime’s crisis, european economy is decreasing. Then, the sovereign debt crisis is growing up and touch lots of countries. So, the monetary union which is the European union decided to help them but some issues emerged. First, Greece the financial weakest country in the EU threat to leave and decide to get a referendum if greek people wants to leave or not. The financial sector called that the « Grexit ». A mix between Greece and exit. In Britain, some personnalities especially Nigel Farage, the leader of UKIP wants for United Kingdom a leaving from the European Union which for him is a brake for the UK’s development. This question has been a real social issue in UK. In the David Cameron’s programm for legislative election, one of the main point was to do as in Greece, a national referendum to yes or no to stay in the European Union. Then, the no received the support of Boris Johnson, the London’s mayor. But David Cameron prefers the yes, in cause of lots of economics issues could destroy the british economy. Indeed, helps came from the E.U represent a big part of the british budget. So, even if the UK might be more free in the economic and politic areas, leave the European Union cost a lack of 45% in the exportations because it’s the part which go out to the Europe.
To conclude, the Brexit would cost until five points of GDP to the UK,is around 140 billion of dollar. So, the main issue for the David Cameron, Prime Minister is to convice his people to say at the Referendum the 23th of June 2016.

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Modifié par lucile83 le 10-04-2016 20:47



Réponse: Essai/Brexit de gerondif, postée le 10-04-2016 à 19:26:29 (S | E)
Bonjour,
c'est gentil de nous faire partager votre point de vue sur le brexit mais vous voulez qu'on en fasse quoi au juste ? Changer la police de caractères, la couleur d'impression, les espacements ? Parce que vous ne dites ni bonjour, ni ce que vous voulez, ni s'il vous plait, ni merci d'avance. Si vous étiez dans une salle de classe, vous plaqueriez votre texte sous le nez de quelqu'un sans un regard ni une explication en espérant que la personne l'accepte en souriant et le corrige ?

Il y a beaucoup de maladresses, en particulier mettre the devant un nom propre qui fait très moche.
erreurs en bleu. corrections en vert


Since the Subprime’s crisis, the european economy is decreasing. Then, the sovereign debt crisis is growing up and touch lots of countries. So, the monetary union which is the European union decided to help them but some issues emerged. First, Greece the financial weakest country in the EU threat to leave and decide to get a referendum (pour savoir si)if greek people wants to leave or not (il faudrait des prétérits). The financial sector called that the « Grexit ». A mix between Greece and exit. In Britain, some personnalities especially Nigel Farage, the leader of UKIP wants for United Kingdom a leaving from the European Union which for him is a brake for the UK’s development. This question has been a real social issue in the UK. In the David Cameron’s programme for the legislative elections, one of the main point was to do as in Greece, a national referendum to yes or no to stay in the European Union. Then, the no received the support of Boris Johnson, the London’s mayor. But David Cameron prefers the yes, in cause of lots of economics issues could destroy the british economy. Indeed, helps came(participe présent) from the E.U represent a big part of the british budget. So, even if the UK might be more free in the economic and politic areas, leave(gérondif) the European Union cost a lack (coûter un manque, ça se dit ??)of 45% in the exportations because it’s the part which go(présent simple, 3ème personne = S) out to the Europe.
To conclude, the Brexit would cost until(mauvais choix pour jusqu'à) five points of GDP to the UK,is (mauvais choix pour c'est-à-dire)around 140 billion of dollar(140 milliards semblent nécessiter un pluriel). So, the main issue for the David Cameron, the Prime Minister is to convice his people to say ***(to say quoi) at the Referendum on the 23th(ordinal irrégulier) of June 2016.




Réponse: Essai/Brexit de rumble, postée le 10-04-2016 à 21:17:30 (S | E)
Tout d'abord je vous prie de m'excuser, je viens de découvrir le site. Merci beaucoup pour la correction et il est vrai que je n'avais pas vraiment relu mon essai.
Je passe le concours commun IEP et j'ai voulu par conséquent faire quelque chose de bref, sans relecture afin d'évaluer mon niveau de base et mes erreurs.
Par ailleurs je vous remercie grandement et présente mes plus plates excuses si j'ai pu paraitre impoli.


-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 10-04-2016 21:26

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 10-04-2016 23:34
Merci aussi pour le message privé; on vous pardonne.



Réponse: Essai/Brexit de gerondif, postée le 11-04-2016 à 00:27:15 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
Merci pour votre réponse publique comme privée. Il ne vous reste plus qu'à poster une correction avant la prochaine admonestation



Réponse: Essai/Brexit de rumble, postée le 17-04-2016 à 10:23:55 (S | E)
Bonjour, texte revu, amélioré et corrigé. Si vous avez le temps, pourriez vous me dire ce que vous pensez de cette correction des points de vues stylistiques et grammaticaux ?
Merci d'avance,
Cordialement Rumble.

From the migrant crisis to Brexit and Grexit, the European Union is facing various internal and external issues. Potential exits from the European Union or the Eurozone threaten to break the Union apart. Do they foreshadow the end of the European project? Is the European Union gradually drifting towards its end?

Brexit, Grexit and the other possibilities of „exits‟ do represent a real danger to the European Union. They could have a “domino effect”, as one exit could weaken the apparent European unity even more. In addition to Grexit and Brexit, other potential exits from the EU or the Eurozone have been evoked, like Auxit, Austria’s withdrawal from the EU. Besides, Brexit could cause political contagion and lead other countries to reconsider their relationship with the European Union.
Furthermore, although their consequences would be different, Brexit and Grexit could definitely jeopardise Europe. Grexit may weaken the euro. Brexit would have a significant impact on the European Union insofar as the EU would lose one of its most influential members, and its position in the world would hence undoubtedly be affected.

Yet, these potential exits may still be avoided. Thanks to proposals such as the “two-speed Europe”, they may never happen. Similarly, if the austerity policy is called into question, or if EU leaders are ready to accommodate some of David Cameron’s demands, Brexit and other exits may become less likely.
And even in the event that they were not avoided, the very fact of losing members might lead to a new, resized and redeveloped European project. Indeed, Grexit may also be seen as step which would permit the Eurozone to form a closer core; and a closer union made up of willing members would eventually be stronger than one made up of reluctant members.

To conclude, Brexit, Grexit and the other potential exits from the European Union or the Eurozone point to the end of the European original ideal, but maybe not of the European Union itself, provided the current difficulties are turned into opportunities.



Réponse: Essai/Brexit de gerondif, postée le 17-04-2016 à 19:28:19 (S | E)
Bonjour,
erreurs en bleu, corrections en vert

From the migrant crisis to Brexit and Grexit, (ne va pas, passez par "en plus de x et y, on top of....and ...) the European Union is facing various internal and external issues. Potential exits from the European Union or the Eurozone threaten to break the Union apart. Do they foreshadow the end of the European project? Is the European Union gradually drifting towards its end?

Brexit, Grexit and the other possibilities of „exits‟ do represent a real danger to (for) the European Union. They could have a “domino effect”, as one exit could weaken the apparent European unity even more. In addition to Grexit and Brexit, other potential exits from the EU or the Eurozone have been evoked, like Auxit, Austria’s withdrawal from the EU. Besides, Brexit could cause political contagion and lead other countries to reconsider their relationship with the European Union.
Furthermore, although their consequences would be different, Brexit and Grexit could definitely jeopardise Europe. Grexit may weaken the euro. Brexit would have a significant impact on the European Union insofar as the EU would lose one of its most influential members, and its position in the world would hence undoubtedly be affected.

Yet, these potential exits may still be avoided. Thanks to proposals such as the “two-speed Europe”, they may never happen. Similarly, if the austerity policy is called into question, or if the EU leaders are ready to accommodate some of David Cameron’s demands, Brexit and other exits may become less likely.
And even in the event that they were not avoided (la structure, que j'avais jugée fausse au départ, me surprend mais elle est correcte d'après le dictionnaire mais suivie d'un présent), j'aurais dit autrement: And even if these exits happened to be unavoidable, and even if these exits unfortunately ended up happening), the very fact of losing members might lead to a new, resized and redeveloped European project. Indeed, Grexit may also be seen as a step which would permit (allow) the Eurozone to form a closer core; and a closer union made up of willing members would eventually be stronger than one made up of reluctant members.

To conclude, Brexit, Grexit and the other potential exits from the European Union or the Eurozone point to the end of the European original ideal, but maybe not of the European Union itself, provided the current difficulties are turned into opportunities.

C'est plutôt bon, dans l'ensemble, d'un niveau supérieur au texte précédent. Je n'aurais jamais dit qu'il avait été fait par la même personne.




Réponse: Essai/Brexit de rumble, postée le 19-04-2016 à 15:29:51 (S | E)
Pourtant c'est bel et bien la même personne
Comment pourrais-je m'améliorer ?
Merci beaucoup !!




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