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Notion/Idea of progress

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Notion/Idea of progress
Message de soweirdness posté le 26-04-2017 à 16:54:44 (S | E | F)
Bonjour ,
j'ai rédigé ma notion et voici le commentaire de ma prof: Bien,attention à la construction de tes phrases parfois, notamment dans la conclusion.
Pouvez-vous m'aider à résoudre ce problème,
Merci!

Notion 2- Notion of progress | The Sixties
Intro : I am going to talk about the notion of the Idea of Progress and especially in the decade of The Sixties.
First of all i would like to give a defition of this notion : The idea of progress can be defined as an improvement, a technical, scientific or sociale advance which contributes to makjng the world a better place.
So now i will try to explain : how did the sixties represent a notion of progress ?
First, i will talk about the time of change and then the time of protest.

Dev’: partie 1: The Sixties were a decade characterized by a technogical revolution, a change in a music, fashion , the birth of consumerism, baby-boomers, drugs, hippy, a sexual revolution because women could be on the pill and the emergence of brands.
I'm going to talk about the document the cover of time magazine.This cover of Time magazine released in 1966 shows the city of london as the center of many changes in the siexties. I think he proves that this decads was characterized by bigs changes.
So the traditionnal elements are relegated in the backgroung to leave room for change fun, movement and music in the foreground. The younger generation sported flares, oversized sungrasses and bold prints. They also used illegal substances, whose effects can be seen on the cover. The collage effect is to used create a buzz as it forces the viewee is attention to flicken from the left to the right.
Consequently the sixties were a time of change and i think change is the progress.

The decade was not only a time of change especially in music, but it was also a time of protest.

Partie 2 : The protest symbol was designed by an artist’ an individual who was against nuclear war. The fact that this emblem spread so rapidily means that the Siexties was a time when the voice of individual was heard. People began to rise up against gouvernement powers. Their numbers grew and grew and soon the individual became a powerful group. The song Universal Soldier carnies the same message as it is used to unite people and helps individuals to recognize that we are above all The same beings regardless of where we came from.
I have the feeling that this artisit have realy contribuate for the progress and we must not forget that how art can regroups people and help to rise up.

Conclusion: To conclude we can say that the earth and man are always looking to innovate and fight against injustices . Social Progress has benefits such as changes in the quality of life. Nethertheless I wish existed again injustices and inequalities in the world. But as long as people continue the fight , the hope can be stay.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 28-04-2017 22:35


Réponse : Notion/Idea of progress de laure95, postée le 28-04-2017 à 14:23:25 (S | E)
Bonjour,
- in the decade of The Sixties: in the Sixties ça suffit.
- First of all i (majuscule)would like
- sociale: orthographe.

- Dev’: partie 1: The Sixties were (singulier)a decade characterized by a (pas de a)technogical revolution, a (pas de a) change in a (pas de a)music
- because women could be on the pill: ?
- time (majuscule) magazine.
- london (majuscule)
- the siexties.
- I think he (pas le bon pronom) proves
- bigs (pas de s)changes.
- backgroung
- to leave room for change fun: ?
- The younger generation (wearing)sported flares, oversized sungrasses
- The collage effect is to (pas de to) used (to) create a buzz
- the viewee is (pas de is mais 's) attention
- Consequently the sixties were (singulier)a time of change and i think change is the (pas de the) progress.

Partie 2 : an artist’ an individual (choisis un des des 2 mots° who was against nuclear war.
- the voice individual: ?
- gouvernement: mot français.
- the individual (pluriel)became a powerful group
- carnies
- artisit have (faute de conjugaison)realy (orthographe)contribuate for (to pas for) the progress
- and we must not forget that (enlever that)how art can regroups (mot français)people


Conclusion: To conclude we can say that the earth and man are always looking (pas le bon mot ici)to innovate
- I wish existed again injustices and inequalities in the world: ?
- the (pas de the)hope can be (pas de be)stay (mettre still exist à la place de stay)



Réponse : Notion/Idea of progress de soweirdness, postée le 29-04-2017 à 14:20:05 (S | E)
D'accord merci beaucoup ! 😆




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