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Lettre de motivation (correction) (1)

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Lettre de motivation (correction)
Message de g0ssipgirl posté le 25-05-2008 à 10:54:01 (S | E | F)

Hello !

Voici ma lettre de motivation pour intégrer une seconde européenne à la rentrée:


Subject: request about European section.

Sir, Madam,

At present, student in 3ème on secondary school X, I would like integrate the European section in [lycée] Y.

I have begun to learn english in primary school and I've developed a pourr profound this language and them, at time of my educational trip in england organised by my establishment, by the english culture. This trip [m'a donné]envy to speak english fluently.

The practice about abroad language parries me essential for my professional life that I envisage because It's right that english It is spoke in all the world, and this language [est une ouverture au contact international]

I have ever been some films on originals versions and some episodes about my favourites series in english. Furthermore I listen a lot of groups or artists who sing in english. I like translate them chorus for [les] understand and hope my vocabulary.

I think I have qualities requested for integrate your college.

Yours faithfully, [ou autre formule de politesse]


PS: Je présente ma lettre en français (destinaitaire à droite, expéditeur à gauche) ou bien en anglais (expéditeur à droite & destinataire à gauche )? Je l'envoi à un lycée public en France & j'ai peur d'etre pénalisée s'ils ne se rendent pas compte qu'il s'agit d'une en-tête anglaise...


Merci d'avance pour vos suggestions et corrections.

-------------------
Modifié par bridg le 25-05-2008 11:03
Lettre de motivation / divers


-------------------
Modifié par g0ssipgirl le 25-05-2008 12:45


Réponse: Lettre de motivation (correction) de lucile83, postée le 25-05-2008 à 11:35:59 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Voici des liens pour la présentation de lettre en anglais car c'est moins simple que vous ne pensez :
Lien Internet
=

Si vous l'envoyez à des français j'opterais pour la présentation française, mais ce n'est que mon avis.
See you




Réponse: Lettre de motivation (correction) de g0ssipgirl, postée le 25-05-2008 à 11:43:15 (S | E)
Merci pour votre aide.

Qui peut corriger mes fautes ?
Je précise que ma lettre doit être manuscrite, donc la présentation se fera sur la feuille définitive.
-------------------
Modifié par bridg le 25-05-2008 12:40
L'urgence n'existe pas sur ce site, nous sommes un dimanche de la fête des mères, comprenez le délai, il y a des priorités famliales pour même pour les bénévoles


Réponse: Lettre de motivation (correction) de g0ssipgirl, postée le 25-05-2008 à 14:11:02 (S | E)
J'ai fais quelques modifications:

Object: Application for your european section.

Sir, Madam,

I am currently a sudent in our 3d grade in secondrary school Paul Bert, and I would like integrate the european section in [lycée] Leopold Sedar Senghor.

I have begun to learn english in primary school and I have developed a serious interest in your language and, after a school trip to England, in British culture. I am determined to speak english fluently.


The practice about abroad language parries me essential for my profesional life that I envisage because It's right that english It is spoke everywhere in the world, and this language [est une ouverture au contact international]

I have ever been some film on originals versiones and some episodes about my favourites series in english. Futhermore I listen a lot of groups or artists who sing in english. I like translate theim lyrics for understand and enrich my vocabulary.

I think [or belive that] I have qualities requested for integrate your etablishment because I love participate in the oral and I supply serious and applied work

Yours faithfully, [ou autre formule de politesse].






Réponse: Lettre de motivation (correction) de santu_mobundi, postée le 25-05-2008 à 14:55:18 (S | E)
correction de Santu_mobundi
slt, Voici une autre correction à partir de la réponde de g0ssipgirl




object: Application for your European section.

Sir, Madam,

I am currently a student in our 3d grade in secondary school Paul Bert, and I would like to integrate the European section in Leopold Seder Senghor school .

I have begun to learn English in primary school and I have developed a serious interest in your language and, after a school trip to England, in British culture, I am determined to speak English fluently.


The practise about abroad language parries me essential for my professional life that I envisage. Indeed, it's right that English is spoken everywhere in the world, and this language is an opening to international relationships.

I have many films and many episodes about my favourites series in English. Furthermore I listen to a lot of groups or artists who sing in english. I like translating them lyrics to understand and enrich my vocabulary.

I think [or believe that] I have requested qualities for integrate your Establishment. I like to get involved in any discussion and I've a serious interest to work.
Your faithfully, [ou autre formule de politesse].





Réponse: Lettre de motivation (correction) de g0ssipgirl, postée le 25-05-2008 à 15:19:44 (S | E)
Euh ce n'est pas plutot

I have EVER SEEN many films ?

Merci pour ta correction
Gr^àce à ta correction j'ai pu faire ça:


Object: Application for your European section.


Sir, Madam,

I am currently a student in our 3d grade in secondary school Paul Bert, and I would like to integrate the European section in Leopold Sedar Senghor school .

I have begun to learn English in primary school and I have developed a serious interest in your language and, after a school trip to England, in British culture, I am determined to speak English fluently.

The practise about abroad language parries me essential for my professional life that I envisage. Indeed, it's right that English is spoken everywhere in the world, and this language is an opening to international relationships.

I have ever seen many films and many episodes about my favourites series in English. Furthermore I listen to a lot of groups or news artists who sing in english. I like translating lyrics to understand them and enrich my vocabulary.

I think I have requested qualities for integrate your establishment. I like to get involved in any discussion and I supply regular,serious, and applied work.

Your faithfully.


-------------------
Modifié par g0ssipgirl le 25-05-2008 15:32

-------------------
Modifié par g0ssipgirl le 25-05-2008 15:33


Réponse: Lettre de motivation (correction) de lucile83, postée le 25-05-2008 à 16:21:43 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Sir, Madam,

I am currently (a student in our 3d grade) in secondary school Paul Bert, and I would like to integrate the European section in Leopold Sedar Senghor school .

I (have begun) to learn English in... primary school and I have developed a serious interest in your language and, after a school trip to England, in British culture, I am determined to speak English fluently.

The (practiseortho ) about (abroad language) (parries???) me essential for (my professional life that I envisage). Indeed, it's right that English is spoken everywhere in the world(trop lourd), and this language is an (opening )to international relationships.

I (have ever seen) many films and many episodes about my favourites series in English. Furthermore I listen to a lot of groups or news artists who sing in english. I like translating lyrics to understand them and enrich my vocabulary.

I think I have requested qualities for integrate your establishment(un peu prétentieux,à éviter). I like to get involved in any discussion and I (supply regular,serious, and appliedmal dit,tournez autrement) work.

Your faithfully.

Lire ceci :
Lien Internet



Réponse: Lettre de motivation (correction) de phileas17, postée le 25-05-2008 à 16:51:40 (S | E)
Here's my propsal:

Object: Application for your European section.


Sir, Madam,

I am currently a student in our 3d grade in secondary school Paul Bert, and I would like to integrate the European section in Leopold Sedar Senghor school .

I [have begun] I would write: I have beginning to learn English in primary school and I [have developed] have been developping a serious interest for this language. After a school trip to England I am determined to speak English fluently.

The practise about abroad language seems to me essential for the professional life that I expect to do. Indeed, it's right that English is spoken everywhere in the world, and this language is an opening to international relationships.

I have [ever] seen many films and many episodes about my favourite[s] in English always the adjectives are invariable series in English. Furthermore I listen to a lot of groups or news(?) artists who sing in English. I like translating lyrics to understand them and [to] enrich my vocabulary.

I think I have [the] requested qualities [for]to integrate your establishment. [I like to get involved in any discussion] I suggest: If you wish it I’m ready for a conversation. [and I supply] Iam told regular,serious, and [applied]hard worker.

Your faithfully.

May be somebody else has a better speech




Réponse: Lettre de motivation (correction) de g0ssipgirl, postée le 29-05-2008 à 20:13:30 (S | E)
Bonjour à tous.

Je voudrais savoir commen traduire

"Dans l'espoir d'obtenir une réponse favoravble à ma requête."
Ou comment l'exprimer autrement ?

-------------------
Modifié par g0ssipgirl le 29-05-2008 20:14




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