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Lettre de motivation- correction!!!
Message de coqu1 posté le 27-12-2009 à 15:13:42 (S | E | F)
Hello there, I'm new, I need a little correction for a cover letter. Thanks a lot for your help:
***, december 15, 2009
Subject: candidacy for studying abroad
Dear panel of judges,
I am student in sociology and psychology at the Art College of the University of ***. As a sociology student I am given the opportunity to complete my third academic year in a foreign country.
I am very interested in going to the United States of America and staying there for one year because it is a country I have never had the chance to visit but which attracts me a lot.
What is especially interesting for me is the fact that The United States sociology is a developed field but in a different way confronted to French sociology. In the sense that a lot of great discoveries were, and are made there, thanks to the importance attached to research and the importance of many United States scientists in cotenporaries trends.
I am particularly interested by the University of *** because I am fond of studies about technology, cultural change, topics about «world citizenship» and new medias. The University of *** and Universities I selected offer me courses about theses subjects. I also think that it would be a great opportunity for me to study theses fields, which are not very developed yet.
As far as I'm concerned, I love traveling, I went for a road trip in Italy for one month and a half. But I also traveled in English speaker countries like England and Ireland. I would define myself as open-minded, I have never had any problem to adapt myself to new environments or persons and I am independent.
I sat the Toefl Ibt the 4th of december and had a score of 81/120 unfortunatly with a test upload crash during the speaking part so a terible score in the speaking part. Even if I am not perfectly fluent I love the language and hope I will be able to speak it perfectly as soon as possible. On top of that, english is a very important language in the field of sociology and psychology in the worldwide. Obsiously learning, speaking, writing fluently the language is a sine qua non requirement today.
As a conclusion I think that I could be a good element for the University I will have a chance to study in because I am a dynamic and serious person. I am also good-tempered and very motivated to learn about my academic studies and The United States. Sociology is the field in which I want to work later as a counseler or researcher. I believe my qualifications would match your requirements.
Thank you for taking my candidacy into consideration.
Yours faithfully,
------------------
Modifié par bridg le 27-12-2009 15:27
Divers
Message de coqu1 posté le 27-12-2009 à 15:13:42 (S | E | F)
Hello there, I'm new, I need a little correction for a cover letter. Thanks a lot for your help:
***, december 15, 2009
Subject: candidacy for studying abroad
Dear panel of judges,
I am student in sociology and psychology at the Art College of the University of ***. As a sociology student I am given the opportunity to complete my third academic year in a foreign country.
I am very interested in going to the United States of America and staying there for one year because it is a country I have never had the chance to visit but which attracts me a lot.
What is especially interesting for me is the fact that The United States sociology is a developed field but in a different way confronted to French sociology. In the sense that a lot of great discoveries were, and are made there, thanks to the importance attached to research and the importance of many United States scientists in cotenporaries trends.
I am particularly interested by the University of *** because I am fond of studies about technology, cultural change, topics about «world citizenship» and new medias. The University of *** and Universities I selected offer me courses about theses subjects. I also think that it would be a great opportunity for me to study theses fields, which are not very developed yet.
As far as I'm concerned, I love traveling, I went for a road trip in Italy for one month and a half. But I also traveled in English speaker countries like England and Ireland. I would define myself as open-minded, I have never had any problem to adapt myself to new environments or persons and I am independent.
I sat the Toefl Ibt the 4th of december and had a score of 81/120 unfortunatly with a test upload crash during the speaking part so a terible score in the speaking part. Even if I am not perfectly fluent I love the language and hope I will be able to speak it perfectly as soon as possible. On top of that, english is a very important language in the field of sociology and psychology in the worldwide. Obsiously learning, speaking, writing fluently the language is a sine qua non requirement today.
As a conclusion I think that I could be a good element for the University I will have a chance to study in because I am a dynamic and serious person. I am also good-tempered and very motivated to learn about my academic studies and The United States. Sociology is the field in which I want to work later as a counseler or researcher. I believe my qualifications would match your requirements.
Thank you for taking my candidacy into consideration.
Yours faithfully,
------------------
Modifié par bridg le 27-12-2009 15:27
Divers
Réponse: Lettre de motivation- correction!!! de coqu1, postée le 27-12-2009 à 18:33:15 (S | E)
Des idées ?
Réponse: Lettre de motivation- correction!!! de gerondif, postée le 27-12-2009 à 19:15:55 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
Dear panel of judges,
I am (manque l'article indéfini que l'on met devant les métiers) student in sociology and psychology at the Art College of the University of ***. As a sociology student I am given the opportunity to complete my third academic year in a foreign country.
I am very interested in going to the United States of America and staying there for one year because it is a country I have never had the chance to visit but which attracts me a lot.
What is especially interesting for me is the fact that The United States sociology is a developed field but in a different way confronted to French sociology. In the sense that a lot of great discoveries were, and are made there, thanks to the importance attached to research and the importance of many United States scientists in cotenporaries(mot adjectival invariable) trends.
I am particularly interested by (in) the University of *** because I am fond of studies about technology, cultural change, topics about «world citizenship» and new medias. The University of *** and Universities I selected offer me courses about theses subjects. I also think that it would be a great opportunity for me to study theses(these est déja le pluriel de this) fields, which are not very developed yet.
As far as I'm concerned, I love traveling, I went for a road trip in Italy for one month and a half. But I also traveled in English-speaking (adjectif composé)countries like England and Ireland. I would define myself as open-minded, I have never had any problem to adapt myself to new environments or persons and I am independent.
I sat (to take an exam, to sit for an exam)the Toefl Ibt the 4th of december and had a score of 81/120 unfortunatly with a test upload crash during the speaking part so a terible score in the speaking part. Even if I am not perfectly fluent I love the language and hope I will be able to speak it perfectly as soon as possible. On top of that, english is a very important language in the field of sociology and psychology in the worldwide( soit in the world, soit worldwide mais pas de mélange des deux). Obviously learning, speaking, writing fluently the language is a sine qua non requirement today.
As a conclusion I think that I could be a good element for the University I will have a chance to study in because I am a dynamic and serious person. I am also good-tempered and very motivated to (ces deux compléments font bizarre derrière motivated, ils ne sont pas sur le même plan) learn about my academic studies and The United States. Sociology is the field in which I want to work later as a counseler(orthographe) or researcher. I believe my qualifications would match your requirements.
Thank you for taking my candidacy into consideration.
Yours faithfully,
Good luck !!
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