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kankrela/Lettre de motivation

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kankrela/Lettre de motivation
Message de kankrela posté le 23-08-2010 à 17:02:17 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,

Je viens de terminer mes études en alternance et je suis à la recherche de mon 1er emploi. Lors de mon dernier entretien on m'a demandé d'écrire une nouvelle lettre de motivation en anglais pour le directeur qui est japonais.
J'aurais besoin d'une âme charitable pour me relire s'il vous plait.

Merci d'avance

Voici ma lettre de motivation :

Sir,

Further to the interview which I had with Mister Becam of the recruitment agency High Bridge and Co I would like to announce you my skills and my motivations for consultant's post in methods and planning in industry.

My various work experiences in circles so different as the research on biofuels then cars parts manufacturers and finally the the air transport sector, enabled me to acquire skills in each of these domains as well as a big adaptability on the ground.

During this period I obtained solid capacities in the continuous quality improvement implementation particularly in Lean Manufacturing such as 5S, Kaisen, self- maintenance, SMED, SPC, and QRQC but also in the approach to certification, internal and external audits as well as in supplier relathionship management.

The diverse missions which were confided to me as Project Quality Manager also allowed me to develop my skills in management and leadership. Indeed thanks to my relational capacities, my rigor and my sense of the service I was able to lead successfully my projects in a delicate environment, for example in the cars parts manufacturers, in spite of a context of economic and social crisis and reduction of budget.

This job of consultant which you propose fits perfectly to my profile and my expectations in the acquisition of new know-how. My adaptability, my knowledge, my skills as well as my strong spirit of analysis are assets I can put in disponal of your company.

So, I hope that my application held your attention. I am at your disposal for an interview during which I could explain you more in detail my reasons and my motivations.

Sincerely your’s.
-------------------
Modifié par bridg le 23-08-2010 17:52
Divers



Réponse: kankrela/Lettre de motivation de sheepishly, postée le 23-08-2010 à 17:10:39 (S | E)
Hi, I think it's a good letter, but there are some mistakes which could be corrected

Sir,

Further to the interview which I had with Mister Becam of the recruitment agency High Bridge and Co [la ponctuation, penses-y], I would like to announce you my skills and my motivations for consultant's post in methods and planning in industry.

My various work experiences in circles [verbe] so different as the research on biofuels then cars parts manufacturers and finally the the air transport sector, enabled me to acquire skills in each of these domains as well as a big adaptability on the ground.

During this period, I obtained solid capacities in the continuous quality improvement implementation particularly in Lean Manufacturing such as 5S, Kaisen, self- maintenance, SMED, SPC, and QRQC but also in the approach to certification, internal and external audits as well as in supplier relathionship management.

The diverse missions which were confided to me C'est lourd, je dirais plutôt The different missions I was confided... as Project Quality Manager also allowed me to develop my skills in management and leadership. Indeed, thanks to my relational capacities, my rigor and my sense of the service, I was able to lead successfully my projects in a delicate environment, for example in the cars parts manufacturers, in spite of a context of economic and social crisis and reduction of budget.

This job of consultant which you propose fits perfectly to my profile and my expectations in the acquisition of new know-how. My adaptability, my knowledge, my skills as well as my strong spirit of analysis are assets I can put in disponal of your company.

So, I hope that my application held your attention. I am at your disposal for an interview during which I could explain you more in detail my reasons and my motivations.

Sincerely yours. Pas d'apostrophe !

Je suis probablement passé à côté de certaines erreurs, mais dans l'ensemble, tu dois être proche de la 'perfection'... Pense surtout à la ponctuation, c'est fondamental !



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